31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 twelveth film

Now I have been a huge fan of the Ernest character for years. So recently I got a DVD that had "Ernest goes to camp","Ernest goes to Jail" and "Ernest scared stupid". I haven't seen any of these three films in over a decade.

In this film Ernest is a garbage man in a small town. We find out that the town has a legend about a troll. Well Ernest is helping his younger friends to build a tree house way out in the woods. Well this tree is in the town witch's backyard. She finds out and tells Ernest that he is descended from a troll hunter. Who captured the evil troll Trantor and placed him into the tree the tree house is built in. She warns Ernest that if he places his hand on the tree and says "Yeah I call thee forth, Trantor!" the troll will be released. Well of course Ernest being the idiot he is he does this. And the troll is released.

Well the rest of the film is Ernest and the kids fighting off the troll. They discover that the troll one main weakness is milk. So we get plenty of water balloons and super soakers filled with milk. Then finally at the end Ernest manages to defeat the troll and everyone is happy.

It amazes me how well this film holds up today. I know I saw it in theaters. And pretty sure I saw it a few times on VHS. Ernest Scared Stupid gets a A.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 eleventh film

From dusk to dawn
1996
Dimension Collector's Series DVD

We start off with a Texas ranger heading into a liquor store. He talks to the clerk for a few minutes then heads back to use the bathroom.Then we see the Geko brothers running up and confronting the clerk. They hear that the cop is coming back out,so they hide again. Well the Gekos come back out and shot the ranger. Then also killed the clerk. And on their way out they set the place on fire.

We find out that the younger brother had just helped the older brother escape from prison. They have robbed a bank and are now on their way to Mexico. They end up kidnapping an minister and his 2 kids. So they make the minister drive his RV to Mexico. They arrive at the place they are suppose to meet up with their contact. It is a huge bar called the Titty Twister. The older brother says everyone is gonna go inside and have some drinks. While they wait till dawn for their contact to show up.

A little while after they are inside,they discover that everyone working in the bar is a vampire. And we get close to a hour of our "heroes" versus the vampires. We get plenty of great kills. Plus an almost naked Selma Hayek. Finally it is dawn and only the older Geko brother and the daughter are still alive.

Now this DVD set is packed with plenty of extras. The film has a great commentary with Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarrentino. Then the second DVD has  the "Full Tilt Boogie" documentary that was made while the filming was happening.Sadly this edition is out of print. And the only version that is in print is the new re-release from Echo Bridge. This version has no extras at all. From Dusk to Dawn gets  a B+.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 tenth film

American Psycho
2000
Lionsgate Killer Collection edition DVD

Based on the controversial book,American Psycho is a film that tries to push the envelope. I misses this when it came out in theaters. So I rushed out and rented the DVD the day it came out. Having had read the book years ago I really enjoyed the film.

Patrick Bateman is a upper class yuppie. He works for a business that his father owns. He seems semi-normal,but we quickly realize that he is a sociopath. He has no problem with killing people that bother him. Patrick gets pissed off when someone has a better business card than he does. So he leaves and goes out and kills a bum and a dog.

Later on  Patrick meets up at a party with Paul. Patrick invites him back to his apartment. He puts on some music and comes up behind Paul and kills him with an ax. So Patrick disposes of the body. And then starts taking hookers back to the Paul's apartment. We get a great scene with Patrick buck naked chasing a hooker around the apartment complex with a chainsaw.

After killing a bunch of people.Patrick calls his lawyer to confess to all the killing he has done. He goes back to the dead guy's apartment. Where he has been storing most of the dead bodies. But when he gets there the apartment is cleaned up and a Realtor is showing it to some people interested in renting it. The next day Patrick runs into his lawyer at a bar. The lawyer seems to think that Patrick's phone call was a joke. And the lawyer claims that he saw Paul 10 days ago. So we are left wondering if Patrick has really been killing people,or was it all in his head.

Now the film is very different from the book. But the film is still pretty damn good.The acting is amazing. And all of the kills are well done. American Psycho gets a A-.

31 days of horror Year 3 Halloween Night extra

Halloween series overview

Released in 1978,the original Halloween was for many many years the biggest independent money making film.It is considered by some fans to be the first film in the slasher genre. But I don't think it is. You had films like Black Christmas,Texas Chain Saw Massacre,and all the Italian giallos that came before this one. Bob Clark,the creator of Black Christmas,has said that he had an idea for a Black X-mas sequel set at Halloween. And that he had told John Carpenter this idea.

Halloween-For a slasher film this has very little gore. And is way more stylish than most slasher films.We get a decent killer in Michael Myers. And Jamie Lee Curtis who is called the original scream queen. Now I do enjoy the film ,but think it is somewhat over-rated by most horror fans.B-.

Halloween 2-Made 3 years after the original was such a huge hit. This film isn't nearly as stylish as the original and the gore factor is raised. We get the return of Jamie Lee,who wears an awful wig and Donald Pleasence.I have always hated this entry and find it to be pretty disappointing over all. D+.

Halloween 3:Season of the witch-John Carpenter's original idea was that each year to release a film with the title Halloween ,with each film being a separate film. Kind of a horror anthology ,with each year being a new storyline. When this was first released the fans hated it. Cause it didn't have Michael in it.But we get a great film,that has some good FX. And one of the catchiest jingles I have ever heard.B.

Halloween 4:the return of Michael Myers-5 year after the disastrous showing of Season of the witch,we get a proper sequel to Halloween 2. This is the film that started Danielle Harris's career as a scream queen. And it is a great entry in the series. B.

Halloween 5:the Revenge of Michael Myers-2 years after part 4,we get a new Halloween movie. Sadly it isn't as good as part 4. But we still get a decent slasher film. Besides the crappy ending the overall film is fun to watch. C.

Halloween :The curse of Michael Myers-After the failure of part 5 it was quite a few years before we got the next entry. We get a strange film that tries to hard to explain the origin of Michael. C-.

Halloween 666:the producer's cut-This is only out  there as a bootleg. And is very different from what was officially released. We get a better story. And more explanations to the whole Thorn storyline. Sadly it looks like this cut will never get a legit release. B.

Halloween:H20 twenty years later-This entry ignores parts 3-6 and is a direct sequel to part 2. Too bad it isn't that good. We get a few OK kills. But the storyline isn't that good. C-.

Halloween:Resurrection-This film seems like a quickly made money grab after H20 made a decent amount of money at the box office. We get a super shitty storyline,some bad acting.And the worst of all Busta Rhymes kung fu fighting Michael. The only real highlight to me is a small appearance by Katee Sackhoff.F+.

Halloween remake-After part 8 bombed,we got a remake instead of another sequel.Now this one is the film that divides the fan base. Lots of people hate  it. I am not really sure why. The first half,which deals with Michael's childhood,is entertaining and does a better job explaining why Michael did what he did,than the entire Thorn storyline. The gore FX is well done. And I am sure I will catch shit for this,but I like Scout Taylor Compton better as Laurie than Jamie Lee Curtis. B-.

Halloween 2 remake-This seems to be one of the most hated recent horror films. I have only watched it once,and that time I saw the director's cut. I can see why people don't care for it. But I still think it is better than the original part 2. C-.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 ninth film

Deadgirl
2009
Dark Sky films unrated director's cut DVD

Picked this one up at Movie Gallery when it was closing. I had heard some buzz about the film. So when I saw it for 50 cents I had to pick it up.

Rickie and JT are skipping high school. They goto an abandoned hospital. They end up running wild through out the place. And then they find a dark hallway. At the end of it is a girl strapped to a table. Turns out she still seems to be alive.

Well both the boys start fucking the girl a few days later. They realize she seems to be a zombie. So a couple of days later at school one of the guys is bragging to the jocks about this. So of course the jocks want to come bang the zombie chick. But she ends up biting one of them. At first it seems like this has no effect on him. But later that week he is at school in the bathroom and shits all his guts out into the toilet.

The two guys realize that if they get deadgirl to bite another girl they will have another piece of ass. So they are waiting in a parking lot to get this one girl. The get the girl they want. And head back to the abandoned hospital. Deadgirl gets free and Rickie and the new girl try to escape. But they get seperated. Rickie starts searching for her . He finds her but sees that JT has stabbed her in the back with a knife. Plus JT got bit by Deadgirl. So JT begs Rickie to let him bite the girl. We cut away then we see Rickie walking down the hallway and into a room. Where he has the now new zombie girl tied down to a table.

Deadgirl is one of the more original zombie movies to come out in years. It has some great acting and FX work.Deadgirl gets a B+.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 eighth film

Christina's House
2001
MGM DVD

Back around this time last year. I was spending some time with my aunt and saw that one of the neighbors was having a garage sale.So I went over to see what all they had for sale. The only thing that caught my eye was they had some used DVDs for 50 cents each. So I picked up about 8 DVDs.This movie was one of the ones I got.

The film starts off with a father and his teenage daughter moving into a new house. Quickly she finds herself a new boyfriend. Well things seem to be doing ok,then people start disappearing.

Now the film leaves all kinds of red herrings as to who is the killer in this film.We get clues pointing to the father,the boyfriend and the handyman. For a horror film this one has very very few kills. The few we get are somewhat gory,but still don't make up for the small amount we get. Then right near the end we get some Saw-like traps. And sadly this is the best thing in the film.

This DVD is barebones. And the film is extremely shitty. The acting is pretty bad. Plus the kills are pretty lame.Christina's House get a F+.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 seventh film

Laid to Rest
2009
Anchor Bay unrated director's cut DVD

We start off with a woman waking up inside a coffin. She has no idea who she is. She gets out and starts being chased by a guy wearing a chrome face mask. From this minute to the end of the film we get Chromeface chasing this girl all over the place. She does eventually remember who she is.

This is a film that is known for it's FX stuff and not for the plot. The plot is simply a way to get from one gory practical FX piece to another. The FX stuff is simply great. We get all kinds of nice bloody kills. Now I just heard a interview with the director and he admitted that most of the FX stuff is practical with small touches of CGI. Now I have watched the movie 4 times now and have never spotted the CGI. Laid to Rest gets a C+.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 sixth film

My Bloody Valentine
1981
Lionsgate Uncut DVD

I saw this years ago on HBO at my cousin's house. And enjoyed it. But I kept hearing about how much was cut out.So I keep looking for a uncut release. Then in 2009 right before the 3d remake hit theaters,Lionsgate released a uncut version to DVD.

20 years ago there was a cave in ,in the local mine. And 5 guys got trapped. By the time a rescue crew go to them there was only one guy left alive. He had survived by eating his dead co-workers bodys.This all happened on Valentines day. So the town quits celebrating that holiday

Flash forward to the early 80s. This will be the first year that the town celebrates Valentines Day. There is gonna be a huge dance. And most of the mine workers will be there. But someone ,wearing a miner's mask,is out there killing off people in some pretty gruesome ways.

Now that the film is uncut,we finally get to see how gory this film was meant to be. The former cut footage is of lesser quality,but still looks pretty good. We get some great kills. Plus this is one of the few slashers I have seen where most of the cast is 20's and 30's instead of teenagers. My Bloody Valentine gets a B.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 fifth film

Leprechaun
1993
Lionsgate four pack DVD

After a short segment at the beginning that tells us how the leprechaun go to the USA. We see a dad and his daughter,Tory played by Jennifer Anniston,are moving into a new house.They meet up with the crew of guys that are painting the house. Which is made up of a guy,a lil kid,and a retarded fat guy. The retarded guy ends up freeing the Leprechaun from it's prison.The retarded guy,Ozzie,sees a rainbow and goes running off to find the end. The lil kid follows him. At the end of the rainbow they find a pot of gold. Ozzie bites a piece of the gold to see if it is real,and ends up swallowing it.

Well from there we end up getting a film that is basically the Leprechaun chasing after Tory and the 3 painters. There is some decent gore fx,but sadly it doesn't make up for how bad most of the acting is. Anniston is really bad in this,she is so annoying you keep hoping for the Leprechaun to kill her. But sadly that never happens. Usually with most horror franchise series the first film is the best. Not so with the Leprechaun series.I have seen 5 of the 6 them have made. And part 1 is one of the worst of those 5. Leprechaun gets a D+.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 fourth film

Last house on the left
1972
MGM collector's edition DVD

After hearing about this film for many many years,I finally picked it up when the first DVD came out. This was the first non-documentary,non-porn film from Wes Craven and Sean Cunningham. There are many many stories about how this film shocked the hell out of audiences back during it's original run. Supposedly this DVD has the most complete version of the film. It seems that lots of movie theaters would edit out scenes. Sadly there is a few scenes that are still missing,and some that have been found but have no sound.

Mari and her friend are on their way to see a concert in the city. They want to pick up some pot before they goto the show. So they ask this young guy they see standing outside a house if he knows were to get any. Well he tells them he has some inside. So they follow him inside and get attacked by the guys father and friends.

The next morning both girls are loaded up into the trunk of a car and Krug and his gang head out. The gang are all escaped convicts. So they are trying to make their way outta the state. Well the car breaks down,and none of them can fix it. So they take the girls and head off into the nearby woods.Mari happens to see that they aren't too far from her home.

Once they get deep in the woods Krug and company start to sadistically torture both girls. After some time they gut Mari's friend. Then Krug brutally rapes Mari and then carves his name into her chest. She wanders off into a nearby lake. So Krug shoots her in the head.

The gang goes and washes up at the lake and then changes into clean clothes. They goto the nearest house and pretend to be a group of salesmen who have broken down. Well the house just so happens to be Mari's home. Earlier on,while trying to escape Mari had given a necklace to Krug's son. After dinner that night the father spots this necklace and him and his wife head out into the woods. They find Mari's dead body on the shore of the lake. So they go back home. The dad starts setting various booby traps. What is it with Wes Craven films and booby traps? Then over the rest of the film the mom and dad kill the gang in some very vicious ways.

Now this DVD is packed with extras.We get a commentary with Fred Lincoln,Marc Sheffler and the late David Hess. The documentary Celluloid crime of the century,a few deleted scenes. And then the footage I mentioned before that has no sound. I keep hearing people,mostly the generation after me,talking about how they don't like the film. And how it is so bad and not worth a shit. Well I gotta say the first time I saw it I was shocked. The various torture and rape scenes are extremely brutal for the time they were shot. Plus the film has this look to it that makes it look more like you are watching some one's twisted home movies. Last House on the Left gets a B+.

31 days of horror Year 3 day 31 third film

Rest Stop:dead Ahead
2006
WB Raw Feed Double Feature DVD

Jess and Nicole are on their way to California. Nicole starts complaining about how she needs to piss. So Jess finds a rest stop. But when Nicole comes back out Jess is missing. She looks all around for him. And he isn't there. Then this crazy truck driver passes by and throws out a red cellphone that belonged to Jess. She starts looking around for help,and finally finds an old bet up RV. After knocking on the door she is invited inside by the fucking insane family. But she is quickly thrown out cause she looked at someone they told her not to look at.

Nicole walks back to the rest stop. Inside the bathroom she finds a woman who is cut up and bleeding. This woman warns Nicole about the truck driver. Nicole turns her head to look at something. And when she turns it back the woman and all the blood has disappeared. Nicole keeps away from the crazy guy driving the yellow truck. But then a cop shows up. She thinks her nightmare is over. But the cop ends up getting hit by the yellow truck.

Nicole drags the cop into the restroom. But while she is distracted by him. The trucker locks the door. She goes to see what is going on. She manages to get the door open somewhat,when the trucker appears and bites one of her fingers off. She goes back to the cop,when all of the sudden a camera is throw into the room. She checks it out and sees a video of Jess being tortured by someone. The trucker shoves a hose threw the broken window and starts pumping gas into the bathroom. Nicole notices a hatch on the ceiling. Since the cop is gonna die anyway,he ask her to shot him with his gun. She misses on the first shot. But finally kills him. Nicole barely makes it threw the ceiling hatch and off the top of the restroom,before it blows up.

Nicole sees the man in the yellow truck standing with his back to her. So she sneaks up and knocks him to the ground. When she rolls him over she finds out that it is really Jess. He has his mouth sewed shut.

Nicole breaks into the park ranger's station that is at the rest stop. She finds an old whiskey bottle,and fills it up with gasoline. Once it is dawn she starts walking down the highway. And she hears the yellow truck approaching. Nicole manages to light her makeshift molotav cocktail. She throws it and it sets the truck on fire. Outta nowhere Jess appears beside Nicole. She sees him and then everything fades to black.

We flash forward,and a new girl has stopped at the rest stop. She finds Nicole inside the bathroom bleeding and crying. So the new girl goes to get the park ranger. But when they come back Nicole is gone. They leave and we see Nicole hiding in the maintance closet,where she is vomiting blood.

We cut to some video footage. It is the dad from the RV,and he is burying the man from the yellow truck. We cut away and then see the man in the yellow truck driving his truck down the highway.

Now before seeing this,I hadn't even heard of it. But it was $5 for Rest Stop:Dead Ahead and Rest Stop:Don't look back. The film has this strange vibe too it. Where you really have no idea what is going on most of the time. But that helps make it different from most  of the DTV horror that has come out the past decade. The acting and the FX are all good. Rest Stop:Dead Ahead gets a B-.

31 days of horror year 3 day 31 second film

Diary of the Dead
2007
Dimension Extreme DVD

I missed this during it's short theatrical run. Then didn't bother getting the DVD for years. Now I kept hearing all the fucking time online about how horrible this film was. And how Romero should be embarrassed to have made it. Well I found the DVD cheap last month and said fuck it I will get it.And really enjoyed it.

We start off with some college students way out in the woods filming a low budget mummy horror film. Then it hits the news that the dead are coming back to life. Two of students quickly leave and go back to one of their houses. The rest of the kids pile up in a Winnebago and head off to the University of Pittsburgh. So they can see if the director's girlfriend is OK.

They arrive and the dorm is a ghost town. Quickly they get the girlfriend and head out to try to get every member of their group back to their homes. Along the way they encounter lots of zombies. And run into a group of survivalist. This group hooks them up with some gas,food,and weapons.

Well thru the Internet they get in touch with the two who left them earlier. And they say they are doing great and they should all come and stay with them. It seems the guy has rich parents and has this huge house loaded down with food and stuff.

After some more adventures they finally get there. But it seems something is weird. The host is acting very strange,then they find out that his parents,the house staff,and the girl that left with him are all zombies. And he is keeping them trapped in the heated pool in the backyard. While going out there to see them ,one of the guys notices that the host is bleeding. So they start preparing for him to turn into a zombie. Which of course happens. And we end up getting a great Romero style "WE ARE ALL FUCKED!!!" ending.

The entire film is filmed by two main cameras. The lead guy,Jason, usually is manning one of the cameras. And the other is passed off to many different people. Like I said earlier I kept reading online reviews about how horrible this was. And sure it isn't as good as say Night of the living dead or Dawn of  the dead. But it is a well done new spin on the zombie film and well worth watching. Diary of the Dead gets a B.

31 days of horror year 3 day 31 first film

Ok gonna try to get 12 films watched today. So there should be a new review every 2 hours or so. No idea if I will manage to do it. But I have 4 two liters of Mountain Dew to help make sure I don't fall asleep.

Dolly Dearest
1992
Epix3 airing

This aired this month on the fucking great channel EPIX3. This channel seems to always  be showing stuff that isn' t out on DVD. I really have no idea how many people get it but fuck it rules. Dolly Dearest ,Well I remember seeing the box cover in various video stores for years. But never rented it. But saw that it was airing,so set the DVR and then transferred it to a DVD-r.

This is about a family of four moving down to Mexico. The dad is taking over a old very well respected doll factory. And right off the bat the dad and the two kids go to visit it. Well while there the daughter finds an old doll that she falls in love with. So the dad lets her take it home. The son wanders off and discovers that there is a archeology dig happening right behind the factory. This gets his attention cause he wants to be an archaeologist when he gets older.

Well over the next few days strange things start happening. The daughter starts freaking out anytime the maid is praying. And then one night when the parents go out the doll kills the maid. Well the son the next day sneaks into the dig site and discovers it is an ancient Sanzia tomb. The Sanzia's are Mexican Satanists. Well it is easy to figure out that some kind of evil spirits have possessed the doll/dolls. And fairly quickly the dolls left at the factory start attacking various people. And what really surprised me is how well done the doll effects are done. I am assuming they used midgets in suits for some scenes. But the doll's faces are very expressive and this helps add to the atmosphere of the film.

Going in I was expecting a low budget Chucky ripoff. And what I got was  a nice medium budget spin on the Chucky films. The acting and FX work are pretty decent and there is a few decent jump scares. Dolly Dearest gets a C+.