Thursday, January 7, 2010

Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 1


Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 1
Distributed by Digiview Entertainment
The kinda infamous "Best selling wrestling DVD ever". We open with Ken Patera looking just like my dad's old mechanic buddy Bill Taylor. Ole Ken is being interviewed by some goofball in what looks to be a high school lockeroom. Ken starts going off on Iron Mike sharpe. Funny stuff,but can Ken back it up in the ring?
Same goofball is in the ring ang introducing Ken. Yeah this has to be a high school gym. Patera is now round like a weeble. Ken starts name-dropping The Mighty Maccabee. IIRC Macabee is some kind of Jewish thing.
Back to the lockeroom and Ace Darling is being interviewed by some different goofball. So Ace is now feuding with his old tag team partner Dangerous Devon Storm. OK seems to be that Ace is the face in this match,and he is cutting a generic early 90's wwf JTTS promo. Now we switch to Devon Storm. Looking all cool in his Citgo Shades. This seems to be from before Storm was in WCW as Crowbar.
First Match Devon Storm w/Dawn Marie VS Ace Darling
Devon comes out first with Dawn in the lead. She is spraying perfume. Devon runs the ropes and fucks with the announcer. Damn Dawn Marie has a decent ass. Ace comes out and walks around the basketball court playing to the fans. Seems to be lots of young kids in the audience. Kick ass Ace has a black satin jacket with something airbrushed on the back in neon colors! Storm takes the mic and insults the crowd in a very blah way. OK Ace mentions that this is Macabeemania 2. Announcer makes mention that the ref recently worked a WWF event. Cuts to Pantera and the announcer guy at the ringside table. And I notice that Patera is reading notes off what looks like a "script". Should that mean I might see a Stunt Granny appearance? A couple of Darling dropkicks and Storm is knocked out to the floor. For some reason this match is reminding me of the crusierweight division in 1992 WCW under the Watt's reign. Match is going fast slow fast slow kinda like a Nirvana song. Storm cheap shots Ace after Darling is distracted by Dawn. Weirdly it looks like there is mats outside the ring on only two sides. Storm slows it all down with 2 longish front face locks. Ace looks like a pre-massive amounts of steroids Scott Steiner. But he has a way shittier hurracarana. Ace gets the pin with a move off the top rope. OK match but really not that impressive.
OK now another backstage interview,well that should really be High school lockeroom interview. Iron Mike Sharpe,Who is getting pudgy. Cool Sharpe is gonna face off with Kamala. Might be a watchable Big guy match.
Back to the ring,20 minute time limit. Sharpe comes out first,and he grabs the mike and claims to be over 300 lbs of pure muscle. Kamala is announced,but instead we get Kim-chee who has on a blue hat this time instead of the usual white. And he pantomimes out a stupid story about why Kamala isn't here. Sharpe ask for a count out victory. But there is a substitute. KING KONG BUNDY!@!!!!!!!!! It is strange to me to see Bundy as a face,but the crowd is completely behind him. After Bundy slams him,Sharpe leaves the ring and gripes about Kamala not being here. Back and forth match,but slow. Well what else should i expect with almost 1000lbs of wrestler in the ring. It ends in a double count out. Bundy looks all pissed and stomps back to the lockeroom.This match sucked. Bundy was ok,but Sharpe looked really bad.
Now for the 3rd match on the DVD. Superfly Jimmy Snuka VS The Metal Maniac,a match that has happened many many many times on various Northeast Indies. There is a 20 minute time limit,in what is labeled a ALL STAR CLASSIC match. Maniac is out first and has a good sized beer gut.Metal calls out Snuka,who comes out to Curtis Mayfields "Superfly". Why do I get the feeling that this will be the best part of the match. Lots of stalling on the mat. Snuka hits the Superfly at the 9 minute mark and ends this abortion.
WOW well you do get what you pay for. The cheap price is surely what got this it's rep as best selling wresting DVD. Because the matches are all really bad. For the price of $1 it is worth picking up just to see some 80's superstars in horrid matches. But I sure wouldn't pay more than that.So Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 1 earns a D+.