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Now first off I myself have fallen into some of these categories before. Once I realized it I changed my ways.
5.Anime Geek
Easy to spot. They usually have on an anime based t-shirt or some kind of "Asian" style clothing. About a decade ago they all wore those fake "silk" button down Dragonball Z shirts. Most of them will look down their nose at you unless you have watched whatever the newest hottest fansubbed show it. And don't dare mention that you think Robotech is better than the 3 anime shows it was created out of. Or that you found Dragonball Z boring and hated how it would tkae 4 episodes for each fight.That is the same as them catching you giving their mother a 3 finger magilla. I have noticed this sub culture is dying out some.
4."I am better than you all" geek
These are the ones you will see complaining about how the con is getting smaller each year. But then turn around and bitch about the kids and teens that show up. "Why are they here they don't even know about US1. Which just happens to be one of Brian Michael Bendis's favorite comics." They will try to strike up a conversation with you while you are digging through the longboxes of comics. Then make sure to point out how either they already own everything you are interested in. Or how some other comic is much better. The best thing to do with them is to wear earbuds,avoid eye contact and pretend you don't hear them.
3."Witty" geek
Yeah I use to fall into this category. You know the type. They repeat over and over lines from Monty Python,Black Adder,Red Dwarf and lots of other UK comedies. Somehow they seem to believe just because a comedy is from the UK it is automatically better than any US made comedy. Now fuck it I will admit I love me some BBC comedies. But there is some total shit BBC comedies. There is only so many times you can hear "We are the Knights that say Neigh!" before you want to grab that 300 buck replica sword and re-enact the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And if for some reason they aren't into the UK based comedy,they will run into the ground whatever the newest internet meme is. One con I counted and heard "All your base belong to us" 42,yes I know fucking 42 Buscemi bless Douglas Adams,times in 10 minutes. Like with the last geek,wear earbuds to drown out their tired played out "jokes" and try to avoid eye contact.
2.Nostalgia geek
Hey another category I feel into at one time. And still do some. You know the type, the usually grew up in the late 70s through mid 80s. And refuse to believe that the cartoons/comics based on those cartoons they loved as a kid are actually kind of crap. Examples ,and fuck I fell for these. GI Joe,Transformers and Voltron. All three are shows I loved as a kid. And with the first two I LOVED the comics. So back when all three started hitting DVD I ran out and bought them. Along with Masters of the Universe,Thundercats and Silverhawks. I tried watching the shows. And those cartoons I found amazing as a kid,to my adult eyes I saw them for what they really were. 30 minute long animated commercials for the toylines. Stuff like Voltron had some of the worst animation I have seen. Then you got the comics. Back in 2004 when I first discovered torrents of comic scans. The first two comics I searched out and downloaded complete runs of were GI Joe and Transformers. Wow Transformers ,which as a kid was one of my favorite comics ever, is total shit. Bad art,bad writing and bad inking. GI Joe is slightly better. The first 30 or so issues are at least readable. But don't say any of this around a Nostalgia geek. At Coast Con 3 years ago I was looking at this one dealer's booth that had lots of DVDs for really good prices. This guy,whom I assume was around my age walks up and starts looking at one of the Rhino Transformer cartoon sets. "Hey have you seen this?" He asked me. "Yeah sadly I paid full price when it came out. It doesn't hold up that well." He actually dropped the stuff he had in his hands,balled up his fists and I think he was wanting to fight me. I just laughed and walked away. And I understand it we all have some show/movie we loved as a kid that brings back fond memories. Mine is Blackstar. But I will admit that the show is shit. A Nostalgia Geek will argue "You are just see the surface level. The Death of Optimus Prime in the Transformer movie was symbolic of how at that time the economy was dying." And yes I actually heard someone say that.
1.Smelly Geek
The bane of all conventions/comic shops. The geek that smells like the last time they bathed William Shatner wasn't wearing a toupee. Now I understand that convention centers get warm. The con I attend each year is in March so it does get fairly warm. But here's some tips. First take a shower each morning before heading out.Of course use deodorant. And shit I am not normally the type of guy that will wear cologne. But a small spirtz of that wouldn't hurt. Last year at Coast Con I went 3 times on Saturday. And the a/c failed in my car that day. So I got up showered went to con for a few hours. Came back to my cousin's showered again,grabbed her son and went back for another few hours. There was about 3 hours between the panels I wanted to goto. And I knew I had been sweating. So I took her son home, took my third shower of the day and went back. But every year I see geeks wearing the same cloths all three days of the con. And holy hell man it is March and warm what is up with lots of them wearing sweatshirts. Shorts,t-shirts keep you much cooler. Then there always has to be the geeks that will wear the same polyester blend Star Fleet uniform each day. You can sometimes actually see the cloud of B.O floating around them. And now with the Steampunk fad growing so huge. The smell is getting worse. You get plenty of people in heavy replica Victorian era clothing. There is a reason now at some cons Steampunk fans are referred to as Stunkers!
