It was a few weeks before Xmas in 1994. I was at the local second run theater with some friends. It was Friday which meant the theater woudl air Rocky Horror Picture show,starts at 11pm. And afterwards for one more dollar you got a second film. Sometimes it was a beat up print of a cult classic. Other times it was one of the movies the theater was showing a month after they had hit theaters.
We were lined up out front,enjoying a abnormally chilly december evening when I looked and saw the poster up top hanging. I remembered reading about Clerks in some film magazine,I am betting it was Film Threat. Once we got to the box office,and I saw the theater manager was running it that night,I asked her if there was any chance she could show Clerks as the second feature. "That is the plan. Watched it last night. Looks like a movie you oddballs would love."
Well after Rocky ended 80% of the crowdd got up and left. But close to 15 of us stayed. Sure since this was the rare movie theater back then that served beer,by the pitcher,I'm sure a few of the people that paid the buck to see another film were hoping to use that time to sober up some before heading home.
When the ending credits finished it was after 1am. We all piled in my Oldsmobile Delta 88 and headed home. Already a few lines from the movie were being quoted. "37? In a Row?" and "I aint even suppose to be here today"
Sunday when I finally woke up I called the theater to see how long they had Clerks. Got told "Well last night is the first time any tickets were sold for it. I still got it for a week. Unless it starts drawing that is it." Over the next 7 days I tried my best to convince everyone I knew to go see it. But when the next weekend hit and we were lined up again to see Rocky Horror I noticed Clerks was gone. Learned that in the 17 days she had the print 19 tickets were sold for the film.
Back then I rarely kept track when new movies where hitting home video,I was more concerned with tracking down all the 70s horror movies I hadn't seen yet. But with Clerks I knew the exact date it hit VHS. And I had a copy pre-ordered through a local media store. Clerks was also a major reason why I got a laserdisc player. I had been wanting one for years. Then learned that Kevin Smith was a huge lasersdisc fan. And how the Clerks laserdisc not only had a commentary but cut scenes and the original ending of the film. This original ending I had read about in some mag.
Before Feb of 97 that vhs of Clerks had been watched so many times I had to get a new copy. Plus when Mallrats hit theaters we learned that the nearest to us it was playing was two states to the east. So again pile up in the Olds Delta 88 and drive almost 3 hours to see Mallrats.
Now sure I saw and enjoyed Mallrats,Chasing Amy,Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike back. But Clerks was still my favorite of the View Askewiverse.
In early 97 I moved. And for close to 2 years I was swing manager at a convience store. At this job I introduced every coworker I had to the film. And since I have dark hair and usually got a mustache/goatee combo my name badge at this job said Dante for years. It was alsto through this job that I met my best friend for the decade I lived in Southeast Texas. Hippie Mike,he was a guy that had by the late 90s faced some rough stuff. He was drafted right out of high school to go into the navy and over to Vietnam. Mike became a huge Kevin Smith fan. And any time a new Smith came out Mike was there with me opening night to see it.
Lots of our friends would joke and claim that Dante was Mike and Randal was me. And I could understand that. Mike like Dante tried to always see the best in any situation. Randal like me,espically back then,was a cynical asshole who always noticed the negative.
When the Clerks cartoon debuted Mike and I and a pile of friends watched it. Hell I had a brand new VHS tape ready to record it,in SP mode to get the best quality. And when the second episode aired I recorded that. Of course that is all ABC aired.
Then Oni Press started publishing Clerks One shot comics. And around the same time Jay and SIlent Bob Action figures were made. Hippie Mike by this time had lost his mother,his grandmother and his sister. He had no family left really. And my family kind of adopted him. That year for Xmas Mike bought me the Jay and Silent Bob figures.
I was now online. And hearing about Smith's next movie Dogma. Opening night first showing Hippie Mike and I were there. Watching the 9 or so protestors out front of the theater. Sure I loved the movie,like Kevin Smith my mother tried to raise me Catholic,but after the Clerks cartoon and comics I wanted more Dante and Randal,and I wanted more Quik Stop and RST Video.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike back comes out. Again went with Hippie Mike. We liked it but it felt like the least of Smith's Jersey films. So when in the ending credits Smith hinted that Clerks II was out next I jumped up and cheered.
Well that Clerks cartoon,by now it was out on home video.Which included all the unaired episodes. And Comedy Central was airing it often.
Now Hippie Mike by this time had learned he had lung cancer. He had been exposed to all kinds of stuff while in the Navy. He got declaired fully disabled. And was getting a disability check. But all of us quickly noticed that without a schedule Mike was getting bad off. He would sleep for 2 days straight. Forget to eat. Most of us were getting really worried about him. So at least every other day one of us would go by and check on him.
Normally on Wednesdays I would get off from work,run by my local comic shop get my comics. Then run by see Mike and take him out to eat. I was almost to Mike's place when my cell rang. I looked it was Mike. He never called my cell so I was worried. "Yea I' m almost there you ok?" Got told he had great news and hurry up and get there.
I pulled up ,parked my car. Was on his front steps about to knock when I heard him tell me to come on in. Before I could even tell Hippie Mike hello He yelled "CLERKS 2 IS COMING OUT SOON!" I hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. He showed me on his computer the news. And I told him we were going to see it my treat.
Months later Clerks 2 comes out and we go a few days after it came out. My eyes have always been very sensitive to light and by this time I had noticed the local movie theaters would be packed with teens. Teens who couldn't go more than 15 minutes without using their phones to text someone. Sure they weren't talking during the film. But the bright screens would distract and blind me in a dark theater. So our plan was go on a weekday around 1pm. YOu know when the teens should be in school.
I took the day off work. The girl I was with at the time came with me. We went picked up Mike. Went out to eat. Then headed to the theater in the mall. It was the closest theater plus a buddy was the manager.So if he was there we could get snacks for a big discount.
Bought our tickets. Saw my buddy was there. We each got a large soda and a large popcorn for a huge discount. Go into the theater and it is us three. Who sat about half way up the riser seats in the dead middle. About 3 people further up who's faces I knew from the comic shop. And that was it. I took my cell turns it to vibrate. Thought this is gonna be fun.
Then a group of 10 teenageres walk in. They sit on the first row of the risers. Now the lights were still on and those mega easy movie trivia questions were playing. I noticed how every few minutes one of these teens would pull out their phone,type out a text. Then another of the teens on that row would get the text and reply. I figured ok once the lights go down they will stop.Lights dim trailers start and the teens are quiet and not texting.
About 45 minutes into the film the teens started texting again. And I was getting pissed. I stoood up whispered to her "I'm going down to say something to them" got told "Dont cause a scene". Walked down tapped the teenage boy on the last seat on the row on the shoulder . When he turned and was facing me I quietly said "Hey man whenever you send or get a text that bright screen is distracting. Would you mind waitingg till the film is over to do that again?Please."
The teen looked at me laughed"Fuck off old man" So I was pissed but walked back to my seat. 5 minutes hadn't passed when the teen sent or got a text. When he did i saw him hold his cell up high,then turn his head and look at me and smile.
In one fluid motion I grabbed my half full large soda out of the holder on the armrest,and hurled it right at that kid's head.It hit him on top his head and him and the guy next to him got drenched.
"What the fuCk!" yelled the one kid. Then he got up and him and the other wet kid left the theater. Then the movie stopped and the lights turned on. I see the two kids coming back in,hear them yelling. Then see my buddy the manager. "Ok point at who threw the Coke at ya" Of course the two point at me. He motions for me to come down "It's alright folks. Gonna get this settled and we will start the movie back up."
"Well REDACTED did you throw your Coke at this guy?" Told him yep. "Why did you do it?" Told him about asking them to not text being told Fuck off old man. The whole time we are talking all the teens are looking at me and smiling. "Well here at this theater we got a strict policy about .... minors being in R rated movies!" THen he asked all the teens for their IDs. "ANd if you are underage you have to leave.". Turns out they were all underage. Still not sure why there weren't in school. So he kicks them out. Then starts the movie back up and brings me a new large Coke "And try to not throw this one at someone OK"
For years after this Hippie Mike would tell people about it. That year since he had no family left I told him to come with me to visit my family for Xmas. My mother asked for a gift idea for him,and me too. And I told her to get us Clerks 2.
That year Xmas night my father,Hippie Mike and I shared a 12 pack of beer,watched Clerks 2. And laughed so much Dad almost pissed himself.
Fall of 2007 I moved. Left Texas and moved back to MS. For the first 2 years I was back in MS I would call and check up on Hippie Mike once a week. He came to see us for Xmas those 2 years.
After a major Hurricane hit that area Mike decided to move to Arkansas,he had family in that area. And after his lung cancer being in remission for close to 12 years it had come back.I started hearing from Hippie Mike less and less. Until one day close to 5 years ago at the same time I got a call,a text and a message on FB. All from friends out in Texas. All telling me that Mike had been found dead in his place. Sadly it appeared he had been dead for at least a week. Seems he had a heart attack.
I hated having lost contact with Mike. The guy was like the older brother I never had. I hated how after I moved out of Texas some scumbags took advantage of MIke. Like 2 years before I moved Mike got a huge settlement check. One big enough that between it and his monthly disability checks Mike should have been set for life. Nope a flakey scumbag that I won't name took advantage of Mike's lonliness and within 8 months had gotten all of the money Mike got in that settlement. And when that money was gone so was this scumbag.
Was years later I heard that Kevin Smith was making another Jersey film. And of course first thing I thought about how this would be the first film in the series since Mallrats that I didn't goto the movie theater with Hippie Mike to see it. I wasn't even gonna see the movie. Skipped a chance to see it in a theater. And it wasn't until I got it on DVD cheap that I watched it. Honestly on that first viewing I didn't like it.
So finally after years and years of talk Clerks 3 is filmed and given a kind of touring roadshow movie theater release. It did play close to me ,but after the wet fart that Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was,plus not really wanting to see a new Clerks film without Hippie Mike I skipped it.
Tired to avoid spoilers. All I knew was that something happens that either you will be pissed about or you might end up crying over. Then I heard that Clerks 3 would hit streaming for rental or purchase in November. And goto DVD/Blu ray in early December. My plan at the time was get it on Blu ray as a Xmas present. And like the year Clerks 2 came out,getting a 12 pack of beer,but this time splitting the beer with just my father.
The day Clerks 3 hit streaming I wasn't feeling good mentally. But my angel knew how to cheer me up. "Go check the Vudu account you got an early present." I go look and there is Clerks 3.
SPOILERS FOR CLERKS 3
Once I started the film and learned that between 2 and 3 Rosario Dawson's character Becky had died,along with her and Dante's child,I figured that is what pissed off a pile of people. I wasn't mad but also wasn't that mad about her having died.
The more of the film I saw the more I saw that Dante was just a Gen X version of Hippie Mike. A guy who life had shit on many times. But he kept going on.
So when Dante has the heart attack. It hit me hard. Then when Randal takes the edit of his movie to the ICU and him and Dante watch it no lie I was tearing up. When they showed Dante in his head sitting in a theater and watching the movie I knew I was gonna need some tissues. But when Rosario appeared and laid her head on Dante's shoulders that is when I knew Dante was gonna die. And when he did I stopped the movie. It felt like I had lost Hippie Mike again.
Since that night I have bought the Blu Ray of Clerks 3. And watched the movie 3 times,once with the commentary and 2 times without it. Watched all the extras. And each viewing when Dantes and Becky stand up to leave the theater it gets extremely dusty in whatever room I am in.
I never thought back on that cold night in December 1992 that this b/w white low budget movie about two slackers working in a conveince store and a video store would become one of my favorite films. ANd each time I watch Clerks 3 I keep thinking "Man I wish Hippie Mike was here to see this."
So Mike my older brother,I hope you know how much you are missed by so many people. I hope yoiu realized how much good you did for so many. And I wish you were still here.I know if you were you would love Clerks 3. Miss you brother. Thank you for all that you did,not only for me but for so many others.
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