My love/hate relationship with Grant Morrison 01

The first thing I ever read from Mr Morrison was his Arkham Asylum story. And I enjoyed it very much. But since then I have found that with any work from Morrison I either love it or hate it,no middle ground at all. So when he started "Invisibles" I didn't bother with it. But just recently I got the above issue in a random lot I won off EBAY. Now I had read the first 5 or so issues of the first volume of Invisibles. And had heard that the later volumes get even weirder. So with this info I sat down to read the 5th issue of the the 3rd volume of Invisibles. And I loved it,sure it was very strange and IIRC Grant has mentioned in many interviews about how while he was writing most of the three volumes that make up the Invisible oeuvre he was on either LSD or magic mushrooms. And while it shows in the writing it is still well written enough for anyone willing to take the time to actually think while reading to understand it. First off the cover by Brian Bolland is just stunning,and I would love to have it reproduced as a poster. The interior artwork by Sean Philips is a perfect choice for this very trippy story. The inks by Jay Stephens help add to the lushness that is the art. The only minor drawback to this comic is now I have a strong urge to go out and either buy all the floppies of all 3 volumes or get the trades. Now I wouldn't recommend this to anyone that doesn't like having to "work" to understand their entertainment,but if you like something that challenges you while you are reading it Invisibles by Grant Morrison and the various artists has to be one of the best. Invisibles Volume 3 issue 5 gets a A-.

Strange find at the local redneck auction-Jonah Hex 76

A few months back I went to the local monthly auction. I rarely buy anything there,mainly cause I have no use for various tools,and household nicknack's. But one seller had a small stack of various comics. Ended up bidding $5 for the lot and won. This issue starts off with our "hero" Jonah out hunting. He manages to kill a nice sized buck and takes it back to were he has made camp. He gets back and some young blond lady is there. She offers to skin and dress the buck. But before she can start Jonah sees a muzzle flash off in the distance. He manages to take cover right before the bullets start flying. Jonah sneaks around and gets behind the people that were shooting at him. Turns out there is 3 of them. He shoots and kills all three,and starts to wonder why they were trying to kill him. Then we jump ahead 10 days,to a mansion in Virgina. There we meet Mr Turnbull. It seems he hired out the three men to kill Jonah. But back to Jonah,him and the girl ride into a town and get lodgings for the night. Jonah is knocked in the back of the head and falls to the ground. When he comes to he is face to face with Governor Phelps. It seems Phelps needs Jonah's help. He wants Jonah to get sentenced to a long term in the state penitentiary. This is so Jonah can be the Governor's eyes and ears on the inside. Phelps assures Jonah that he will get out in about a month and will be paid very well for his time. Jonah agrees,and goes off and robs a train. Oh course he gets caught and is sent straight to jail. We cut to a scene with Mei Ling,who if I recall correctly is Jonah's wife. Her brother shows her in the newspaper the story about Jonah robbing the train. And this causes Mei to wonder if she should have ever settled down with Mr Hex. But meanwhile Jonah is in jail,and he gets to see how the warden is cutting corners. The food that is served to the various prisoner is one small step above pigslop. And all the men seem to be in bad shape. Jonah gets upset about how one of the guards is treating a elderly man,and attacks the guard. This just causes the other guards to attack and overwhelm Jonah. And they brutally beat up Jonah. The issue closes out with Jonah thrown into the hole. The story is by Michael Fleisher with art by Dick Ayers and Tony Dezuniga. I enjoyed the book,but wished it had been a one and done story. Jonah Hex 76 earns a B.

Strange find in the cheap bins-Giant Size Conan 4

Last trip I took to Biloxi,I found a really nice antique mall. Noticed 2 short boxes of comics. Lots of 90's Marvel and DC,but also found this gem. Now I started a few years ago really getting into Conan. And at the price of $1.50 I couldn't pass this up. The first story is "Swords of the South" which is part of the continuing adaptation of Robert E. Howards "The Hour of the Dragon". We have Roy Thomas writing and Gil Kane on the art chores. This 30 page story has all the classic elements of any good Conan story. Lots of backstabbing and swordplay. And it ends on a great cliffhanger. This story takes place after Conan has become King,and it seems that most people think he has died recently. The Gil Kane art is as always amazing. I would love to see this storyline reprinted by Dark Horse in B/W. After this tale we get a reprint of Conan 7. Which has Roy Thomas again as the writer and Barry Windsor Smith handling the art. It is a pretty good one and done Conan tale. And the only drawback is the paper stock that was used does show Smith art as good as it could. One of the major highlights of this issue to me,is all the old ads for various products. Like the ad for Grit. In all my years of fandom I have never seen an issue of Grit or met anyone that either sold it or bought an issue. The only negative to this issue is now I will have to hunt down the other 4 issues in the Giant Size Conan run. But overall this was worth way more than I paid. Giant size Conan 4 gets a B+.

Strange find in the cheap bins-Jughead 's Soul Food

I got this recently in a box of comics from one of my cousins. It is from the short lived line of Archie comics published by Spire. Spire was a company that published Christian comics. The Archie titles they put out seem to be the most remembered and the easiest to find. The first story "A La Carte" is all about Jughead trying to bring in what seems to be a hot dog vendor's cart into the Riverdale high school cafeteria. Mr Weathersbee tells Jughead he can't bring the cart inside. And so Jughead takes it out side,and this not so good story ends with Mr Weathersbee getting a hot dog with lots of mustard from ole Juggy and praying. The second story doesn't seem to have a title,but it begins with Big Ethel and Betty Cooper outside Jughead's house. Ethel freaks out when she sees Jughead and what looks to be a girl sitting on his couch. She gets really pissed cause "He says he can't STAND girls!!!". So she goes and knocks on his door and confronts him. Jughead seems to be very confused by this. And in the final panel we see why. Turns out Jughead was sitting on the couch watching tv with his dog Hotdog. Next one get a one page gag story,in which Jughead is eating and sharing his food with Hotdog,and so in the last panel Hotdog brings over his bone to share with Jughead. Ok so far this comic has been bad,but hasn't had much Christian propaganda. "Calorie Gallery" is the next story. Jughead is excited to see a help wanted sign in the window of a local bakery. He gets the job,but in typical Jughead fashion fucks it all up by "taste testing" all the food. A really lame story with a lame gag to end it. There are a couple of more stories but truthfully they are all uniformly shitty. Then towards the end of the comic,we are "treated" to a Big Moose story. The Archie gang notices that both Big Moose and Jughead both have trays full of huge piles of food. Juggie ask Moose if they should pray for their food. Moose mentions that he never does that. And Jughead compares Moose to his dog,who also never prays for his food. Jughead goes on a long tirade about how God creates the food. And how Moose should be thankfull for having food. LAME LAME LAME. Next up we get "Jughead Prayer Page" which has various Archie charecters praying for various things. Finally this steaming pile of feces is wrapped up with a short story were Prof. Flutesnoot is educating the Archie gang on how to eat properly. But Betty and Archie have to interupt him to go into a two page speach about how God created our bodies and other such shit. OK I have read about 10 or so of these Spire Archie comics,and I consider myself to be agnostic/atheist. So I know these comics aren't aimed at me. But outta the ones I have read this has to be one of the worst. Jughead's Soul food earns a F-.

Strange find in the cheap bins-Jughead 327

Jughead #327

Published by Archie comics group

The year is 1983 and this issue seems to be Archie comics attempting to show they aren't stuck in a time warp and are hip to the current trends. In the first story "The Punk" ,the story starts with Archie and Betty in the offices of the school newspaper. Archie is looking out the window and sees a girl and guy. Who both are dressed in the "punk" style. Archie makes a comment about how he finds that style utterly revolting. And the guy hears him and turns around and makes a comment. Archie is surprised to see the guy looks like Jughead but has a mohawk. He ask Betty if she saw this but she was busy typing up a story. So Archie goes out in search of Jughead and he finds him. "Back off NERD!" is Jugheads response to Archie. And then he says his new name is Captain Thrash. Archie ask if Jughead's dog,Hotdog, also has a new name. And he sure does it is Vicious,and now Hotdog has a golden chain for a collar and has a yellow stripe down his back and a purple one down his side. Archie goes to Dingy's ,which is the local punk hangout. Archie sees a guy who while doing "the Slam" ends up punching Jughead in the face. So Archie comes up behind the guy and restrains him. This pisses Jughead off and he takes Archie and throws him outta Dingy's. The next day Archie is outside the school talking to Veronica,and he happens to notice Jughead is in the newspaper office and is talking to Betty. Archie assumes Jughead is talking Betty into joining the Riverdale punk scene. So Archie and Veronica go to confront Betty. It turns out that Jughead was going undercover so he could write an article on the local punk scene. So the story ends with the gang all going to Dingy's so Jughead can get a hamburger. The rest of the stories in the issue are your typical Archie stories. But just for the scenes with Jughead as Captain Thrash this comic earns a B.

Grandmasters of Wrestling First Blood Volume 1

Grandmasters of Wrestling First Blood Volume 1
Distributed by Digiview Entertainment
While at first glance this DVD seems to be just a repackaging of one of the two previous discs. But it turns out that the cover is wrong, This seems to be held after Macabeemania 2. We start off with a backstage interview.Nikolai Volkoff is cutting a promo on Iron Sheik. Now we cut to Sheiky baby talking about his Jewish fans again.
Opening match is Ace Darling VS Mr. Motion,No idea who Mr Motion is.Ace seems to be the face. Motion comes to the ring with a valet that has major 80's big hair disease. Quick paced match,Oh shit Motion has a crew cut Mullet. Motion keeps working Ace's arm. Mr Motion ends up winning with a running powerslam. OK match that would have been better if it was about 4 minutes shorter.
Now It's time for Iron Mike Sharpe vs The Cheetah Kid. Well hopefully Mike's opponent shows up this time. And was Cheetah Kid one of the other gimmicks for one of the fat fucks from Public Enemy? Weird this seems to have been filmed thru a telescope,what the fuck is up with that. Cheetah kid seems to be wearing holiday streamers on his ring gear. Hmm I doubt Cheetah is either of the guys from Public Enemy. He seems to be trying to be a US indy version of Tiger Mask IV. Match is full of Sharpe stalling, But at least he doesn't seem as fat as he was on the last 2 DVDs. OK Sharpe enough stalling,Mike takes control of the match and starts whipping Cheetah Kid into the corners. Cheetah recovers and does a walk the ropes armdrag. He tries for it again but Sharpe kicks the rope, Then the camera angle goes to shit and all you can see is their legs. What the hell the match ends with Sharpe just walking out of the ring and heading outta the bingo tent the show is being held in.
Misty Blue VS Linda Dallas,Linda is out first. Misty comes out and has what looks to be the old NWA woman's world title. I don't expect much outta this match. Lots of work on the mat that isn't that good. Blue wins with an airplane spin.OK that match was completely worthless.
And the final match of First Blood Volume 1 is Sheik VS Volkoff. I hope it is at least better than the last match,but have a feeling that it won't be. Sheik comes out with his manager like one the last show. Volkoff comes out with some blond chick and he has the American flag with him. Oh shit he is singing "Hava Nagila" again,sweet! They pan the crowd and I see what appears to be a teenage Eric Posin. Sheik attacks Volkoff while he is singing and the match starts. And it is as bad as expected. It kinda reminds me of watching my uncles fight over the last can of beer on New Years Eve,but my uncles had better moves. Sheik stalls for long periods and then gets out a pair of brass knuckles. He never seems to use them,maybe he forgot about them. They go out in the crowd and Volkoff attacks Sheiky with a chair,and it ends up being a double countout.
Well besides Mr Motion vs Ace Darling,and parts of the Sharpe VS Cheetah Kid match this was a total shithole of entertainment. Fuck it I give it a C-.

Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 2

Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 2
Distributed by Digiview Entertainment
Volume 2 of the best selling wrestling DVD series,and it starts off with what is called a "musical Intermission. Which has Nikolai Volkoff VS Classy Freddie Blassie. Volkoff starts singing "Hava Nagila". Which of course the crowd eats up. And Blassie enters the ring sits down and sings "Pencil Neck Geek". Freddie is wearing a Monday Night War shirt and a jacket that looks like he stole it from the Baycity Rollers. Crowd enjoys this song too.
Now onto the first match of volume 2,Bam Bam Bigelow VS Nikolai Volkoff. Bam Bam is out first and looks a lot like he did during his second WWF run. Announcer informs us that this match has an 1 hour time limit,but since the DVD is only 1 hour and 5 minutes I doubt this match will go to the time limit. Volkoff looks flabby and way outta shape. But Bam Bam looks like he usually does. Not sure who is the face/heel in this match. Volkoff after his singing would be my choice for face. But crowd looks bored with this match. Double disqualification,and I really couldn't care. The match was bad,and sadly has been the best match so far on either volumes 1 or 2.
Backstage interview with Iron Sheik. Sheik it turns out is the Macabee Champion. He starts talking about all his Intelligent Jew fans. Sheik rants and raves in that way that only Sheiky can. He is wearing his Olympic singlet and a mid 80's WWF shirt. Sheik does his Persian club routine. And even challenges to Mighty Macabee to try out the clubs.Oh shit Sheik removes his shirt and he is so fat his belly button looks like a mini-cock.
Next up is Mighty Macabee vs Iron Sheik for the Macabee World title. Sheik comes out first with a manager and Iron Mike Sharpe. I do mark for the Ayatollah being on Sheik's flag.OK seems like the Sheik will do the club routine again.N Sheik mentions those "intelligent Jews" again. Sheik sings the Iranian National Anthem. And the crowds lets out a long sigh of boredom. Then he starts swinging the clubs and some goofball is counting,and Sheik does 100 of them. Now it is time for the Hulk Hogan of Macabeeian Championship wrestling to enter the ring,THE MIGHTY MACABEE. Who wears a singlet with a star of David on it,a mask,and carries a fencing foil.Maybe I will get lucky and he is a very skilled luchadore.A Masked Fencing Jewish Lucadore,but I have no such luck. Macabee seems to have at least been trained.HAHA he starts doing very Hulksterish poses. Sheik's manager keeps interfering and so he is escorted by security back to the lockeroom.Lots of stalling from Sheik. And Patera gets up from the ringside table and starts giving advice to Macabee. I hope it's "Never throw a boulder through a McDonald's window." Sheik pulls something outta his tights and hits MM square in the head. This causes The Mighty Macabee to end up outside the ring. Sheik follows him out and gets knocked down with a chair shot to the head. Macabee runs around the bleachers slapping hands with kids and doing more Hogan poses. They both get back into the ring and Macabee puts a sleeper on Sheik. Iron Mike enters the ring and hits Mighty with a chair. Macabee hits the mat and the bell is rung. Ref rules that Macabee wins by DQ. But MM gets on the mic and demands the match continues. He wants 5 more minutes with no DQs and if Mac loses he will take off his mask. I figure that Macabee will win the title,and end up being right. Maccabee goes and celebrates with the crowd,in which it is rumored is a very young David Bixenspan.While this volume was better than volume 1,it was some of the interviews that made it so. The ring action was still pretty bad. Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 2 gets a C.

Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 1

Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 1
Distributed by Digiview Entertainment
The kinda infamous "Best selling wrestling DVD ever". We open with Ken Patera looking just like my dad's old mechanic buddy Bill Taylor. Ole Ken is being interviewed by some goofball in what looks to be a high school lockeroom. Ken starts going off on Iron Mike sharpe. Funny stuff,but can Ken back it up in the ring?
Same goofball is in the ring ang introducing Ken. Yeah this has to be a high school gym. Patera is now round like a weeble. Ken starts name-dropping The Mighty Maccabee. IIRC Macabee is some kind of Jewish thing.
Back to the lockeroom and Ace Darling is being interviewed by some different goofball. So Ace is now feuding with his old tag team partner Dangerous Devon Storm. OK seems to be that Ace is the face in this match,and he is cutting a generic early 90's wwf JTTS promo. Now we switch to Devon Storm. Looking all cool in his Citgo Shades. This seems to be from before Storm was in WCW as Crowbar.
First Match Devon Storm w/Dawn Marie VS Ace Darling
Devon comes out first with Dawn in the lead. She is spraying perfume. Devon runs the ropes and fucks with the announcer. Damn Dawn Marie has a decent ass. Ace comes out and walks around the basketball court playing to the fans. Seems to be lots of young kids in the audience. Kick ass Ace has a black satin jacket with something airbrushed on the back in neon colors! Storm takes the mic and insults the crowd in a very blah way. OK Ace mentions that this is Macabeemania 2. Announcer makes mention that the ref recently worked a WWF event. Cuts to Pantera and the announcer guy at the ringside table. And I notice that Patera is reading notes off what looks like a "script". Should that mean I might see a Stunt Granny appearance? A couple of Darling dropkicks and Storm is knocked out to the floor. For some reason this match is reminding me of the crusierweight division in 1992 WCW under the Watt's reign. Match is going fast slow fast slow kinda like a Nirvana song. Storm cheap shots Ace after Darling is distracted by Dawn. Weirdly it looks like there is mats outside the ring on only two sides. Storm slows it all down with 2 longish front face locks. Ace looks like a pre-massive amounts of steroids Scott Steiner. But he has a way shittier hurracarana. Ace gets the pin with a move off the top rope. OK match but really not that impressive.
OK now another backstage interview,well that should really be High school lockeroom interview. Iron Mike Sharpe,Who is getting pudgy. Cool Sharpe is gonna face off with Kamala. Might be a watchable Big guy match.
Back to the ring,20 minute time limit. Sharpe comes out first,and he grabs the mike and claims to be over 300 lbs of pure muscle. Kamala is announced,but instead we get Kim-chee who has on a blue hat this time instead of the usual white. And he pantomimes out a stupid story about why Kamala isn't here. Sharpe ask for a count out victory. But there is a substitute. KING KONG BUNDY!@!!!!!!!!! It is strange to me to see Bundy as a face,but the crowd is completely behind him. After Bundy slams him,Sharpe leaves the ring and gripes about Kamala not being here. Back and forth match,but slow. Well what else should i expect with almost 1000lbs of wrestler in the ring. It ends in a double count out. Bundy looks all pissed and stomps back to the lockeroom.This match sucked. Bundy was ok,but Sharpe looked really bad.
Now for the 3rd match on the DVD. Superfly Jimmy Snuka VS The Metal Maniac,a match that has happened many many many times on various Northeast Indies. There is a 20 minute time limit,in what is labeled a ALL STAR CLASSIC match. Maniac is out first and has a good sized beer gut.Metal calls out Snuka,who comes out to Curtis Mayfields "Superfly". Why do I get the feeling that this will be the best part of the match. Lots of stalling on the mat. Snuka hits the Superfly at the 9 minute mark and ends this abortion.
WOW well you do get what you pay for. The cheap price is surely what got this it's rep as best selling wresting DVD. Because the matches are all really bad. For the price of $1 it is worth picking up just to see some 80's superstars in horrid matches. But I sure wouldn't pay more than that.So Grandmasters of Wrestling Volume 1 earns a D+.

TPB winners 05

JLA Year One
Story by Mark Waid
Art by Barry Kitson
In the tradition of Batman,Metamorpho,and Nightwing. The JLA gets a 12 issue series updating their origin to the modern age.This trade tells the story of how Martian Manhunter,Hal Jordan the Green Lantern,Aquaman,Barry Allen the Flash,and the second Black Canery form the first lineup of the Justice League of America.The JLA is the premiere superhero team of the DC universe.Inspired by the World War II superheroic team ,the Justice Society of American,these 5 heroes team up to fight off an alien invasion. This is the first public appearances of Martian Manhunter and Aquaman,who previously had kept their heroic deeds hidden to the general public. After seeing how well they work together the heroes decide to permanently team up anytime there is a threat too big for them to take care of on their own. Through out their first year in existence they are joined by Oliver Queen the Green Arrow,Ray Palmer the Atom,Batman and Superman.I got this trade in a lot,and was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it. Now I ain't a big fan of Superman or Aquaman,I find both of them to be pretty boring no matter who is writing them. But in this mini series it is the first time I actually enjoyed the adventures of both heroes.Another thing that I enjoyed in this trade is the appearance of the Doom Patrol. Who are my favorite team from the silver age. The story by Mark Waid is great,and I loved how he peppered the story with references to alot of the old silver age JLA stories. The art by Barry Kitson,who I hadn't seen much of his artwork before,is very nice. I has a cleanness to it's line work that I liked. And Kitson has a energy to his art that makes the pages just pop.About the only negative,and really it isn't a negative to me. Is that now thanks to Infinite Crisis and Final Crisis this story is most likely not in continuity anymore. In the end this is a good trade to give to anyone that is a JLA fan,or who's only exposure to the JLA is the Superfriends or JLA/JLU cartoons. JLA year one gets a B.