31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 13 American Gothic

 

TITLE-American Gothic

SOURCE-Amazon Prime Video

Not sure why but this movie was one I just never saw until earlier this year. Yea I saw the reviews of it in Fangoria. Thought it sounded worth seeing. Then never rented it.

A pile of people are flying out to vacation on a small plane. Hoping this vacation will help their friend who just lost her baby. Have trouble and make an emergency landing. Thankfully a small island is near by.

After camping for the night,the friends discover an old home on the island. And not long after exploring parts of it run into the owners. An older couple,with the wife played by Yvonne DeCarlo. 

Then we start meeting this couples kids. Who are all at least mid 30s. But still act like pre teens or younger. 

More and more odd things start happening and the friends notice this.

The next day,I think it was the next day. One of the guys sees the 2 kids playing on a giant swing over a huge cliff. He gets talked into getting into the swing. And the male child climbs up and cuts the ropes holding the swing. Which results in a bloody death below on the rocks.

With this first kill the movie gets going and just keeps ramping up the gore and oddness. Like when we find out the babydoll the daughter carries is a mummified infant corpse.

Pretty sure this hasn't gotten a Blu ray release. Think the DVD is OOP. So this copy streaming on Amazom Prime Video is the easiest way to see this forgotten sleazy horror film.

American Gothic gets a C.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 12 The Blackening

 

TITLE-The Blackening

SOURCE-Lionsgate DVD

Horror/Comedy is a odd thing. Done right they are amazing like say Dead/Alive or Evil Dead 2. But done wrong and you get Scary Movie 1 and up. 

Been seeing this DVD at a local store for a bit. Wasn't gonna drop 20 bucks on it. When it hit 5 bucks grabbed it.

8 old friends gather at a house on in a rural area to celebrate Juneteenth. Once they find a racist board game the horror starts. They are forced to play the game or die. And who is the masked person armed with a cross bow that is all over the property and house? 

Unlike Scary Movie that just throws out 100 jokes and references every 5 minutes knowing enough will hit that the general audience will laugh,THe Blackening goes more subtitle. Like just small things that made me laugh but I am wondering how many people got.

For example the many card games of Spades. Which becomes a major plot point near the end. 

Or how in this film the cast isn't constantly nodding at the audience. I hate that shit. And this film thankfully doesn't do it.

Sure the killer and the twist isn't hard to figure out. I had a feeling who the mastermind was once they appeared early in the film. FX work was decent. And the acting was way better than I expected.

Seems this was a big enough hit a sequel is being made. And I will watch it if that happens.

The Blackening gets a B+

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 11 Mardi Gras Massacre

 

TITLE-Mardi Gras Massacre

SOURCE-Code Red DVD

Feels like I have see this on video store shelves my entire life. I got a clear memory of seeing it at Video Showboat in Pascagoula,almost renting but instead grabbing something else. 

Never really bother reading reviews of this. Just figured it was another crappy 70s film like say Drive In Massacre. I was wrong. So very wrong.

Set in and filmed in New Orleans,a late 70s era NOLA,this is an odd twist on Blood Fest. Guy is killing hookers to bring back an Aztec God.

We get primative gore FX,that  I bet were a bit shocking when this was made. Piles of sleaze. And just a grimy feel to the entire film.

Then there is that soundtrack. Feels like half of it is from some greasy mid 70s porno. And the other half feels like AM radio filler.

This is one I bought a long ass time ago and it just sat on the shelf. Thinking I found it cheap at a bodega. For a bit I was finding piles of Code Red and Synapse DVDs sold at the various corner stores and bodegas. 

Looked and it appears this  is streaming on TUBI currently. And is worth seeing. 

Mardi Gras Massacre gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 10 The Exorcists

 

TITLE-The Exorcists

SOURCE-The Asylum DVD

Yep the Asylum saw an Exorcist prequel was coming out in 2023 and got this mockbuster shot in 6 days. And like most Asylum mockbusters they got a few names in the cast.

Up first is Doug Bradley as the lead priest. From Pinhead the Hell  Priest to a Catholic Priest doing an Exorcisim what a career LOL.

Then you got Denise Duff as the head nun. She was a big B Horror star what 20 years ago?

The plot is your standard young girl is possessed by a demon and the Catholic Church is brought in to fight this.

Unlike most Exorcist films this mockbuster has more than one person being possessed. Which leads to some decent FX work. Sure it isn't the quality of stuff you see on a big budget film but it also isn't the horrid cheap CGI stuff you see in most films made this quick.

Overall besides a issue near the ending the film isn't bad. I enjoyed it more than the Exorcist Prequel from last year. But that one issue,which I didn't catch on first viewing,now makes me not want to bother watching this again. Doesn't totally ruin the  film but hurts it somewhat.

The Exorcists gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 09 Die Die Delta Pi

 

TITLE-Die Die Delta PI

SOURCE-TUBI Streaming App

Another day another modern low budget horror movie off TUBI.

No one in the cast you ever heard of. Set in whatever locations the producer could get free or cheap. And starring whoever can be convinced to be in the film.

Back in the 80s,or the way people that never lived through the 80s like to think the 80s was,the Delta Pi sorority is about to add some new members.  

Out by the bonfire where the Delta Pi are about to burn their house mother in effigy an accident happens and the nerdy girl gets badly burnt.

Skip ahead to modern era and the Delta Pi sorority is back and got a pile of pledges wantiing to join. Someone is killing  them and are they connected to what happened in the 80s? Of course.

Barely over an hour,padded as hell and full of some horrible acting,dialogue and even camera angles.

Fuck this was bad. Not even worth seeing for free on TUBI.

Die Die Delta Pi gets a F.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 08 Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl A Rama II

 

TITLE-Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl A Rama 2

SOURCE-TUBI Streaming App

Once I started this up and saw it was barely over an hour I knew it would more than likely suck. I was right.

The Sorority from the original film has fallen on hard times. They only got 2 members and 2 girls wanting to join. The house mother,Kellie Maroney,tells the girls about what happened in the first film.

Like in the first film there is a few goofball boys that are peeping on the girls trying to join. But it being what almost 40 years later instead of looking in a window they have just set up a mini camera in the bathroom facing the shower.

1 hour and 1 minutes including the long credits and it takes almost 30 minutes before we get to the bowling alley. Which I am pretty sure is the same one from the original,which was also in one of the Evil Bong movies.

Trophy gets broken of course. Out comes the Imp,who is creativly shot so you aren't suppose to notice he is very limited in his movements. But also we get the return of Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer as spirits of their characters from the first film.

The Imp grants wishs that backfire and once we hit the 50 minute mark the film is wrapping up.

Wow this was bad. I know modern Full Moon is usually short films that are barely over an hour and feel more like half a film. This felt like they had a 20 minute film they added whatevver it took to make it an hour.

Avoid this turd.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama 2 gets a F+.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 07 Mississippi River Sharks

 

TITLE-Mississippi River Sharks

SOURCE-TUBI Streaming App

Been a bit since I watched a shark film for 31 Days of Horror. And yea back to TUBI. It comes in handy. Say I am stuck in the pharmacy line for 40 minutes,scroll TUBI on my phone put on some janky movie and keeps me from wanting to attach tasers and chainsaws to my shopping cart.

And today was a 3 long line day. Pharmacy was 35 minutes. First grocery store line was another 30 and the final one was 38 minutes. So I scrolled Tubi found Mississippi River Sharks and started it. Chose it cause hell wanted to see what non-MS location they filmed in to be a "rural Mississippi quiet town". And saw that Jason London was in the film PLAYING HIMSELF!!!

So this was made to premiere on SYFY Channel. Which means the gore is low. So was the budget. Unlike piles of these shit out sharkpolitation movies this one got 2 semi names.

I already mentioned Jason and more on him in  a bit. The other name  and when I saw her name in the credits I wasn't sure why I knew it. Cassie Steele,looked her up and she is best known for that 2000s Degrassi show,plays our lead. She is home from college and wants to help her dad keep the family business running. It shows she has been acting for a bit cause unlike most of the rest of the cast Cassie feels like she ISN'T trying her best to remember her lines.

And now Jason London. In this film he plays a slightly fictionlized version of himself. He is a former big star that is now known for being the lead in Shark Bite 1,2,4,5,6. Yes I left out 3 he isn't in it,which is a running joke through out the film.

It was 15 minutes maybe 20 into the film when I realized yes they actually shot this in Mississippi. Not only that but I know where it was shot. Saw HWY 90 and knew they were in Ocean Springs.  Surprised more stufff isn't filmed down there. Great looking locations and I am betting it is cheap to film down that way. I have heard the state of MS isn't one that gives film/tv productions big tax breaks. Which is why lots of stuff set in MS is filmed in Louisiana.And if you know both states it is easy to tell when they are trying to pass LA off as MS.

Sharks are heading up the MS river. Right a when a small town is having it's annual big fishing rodeo. Cassie and 2 old friends of her's gotta save everyone. Along with Jason London,who shows he has decent comedic skills in this role,this group must keep people from being killed by cheap CGI sharks. And opposing them is the town Mayor. A ten gallon hat on a 20 gallon dumb ass.

Yep it is Jaws but with more sharks and less budget.I was more entertained trying to figure out where various outdoor scenes were filmed than by the movie. 

Mississippi River Sharks gets a D+

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 06 Maid Droid

 

TITLE-Maid Droid

SOURCE-TUBI streaming App

Yep Tubi,the place that got The Asylum to jump ship from Syfy Channel. The place where odds are pretty good any given movie you half remember from seeing at 2am when you were drunk is on it or will be in a few weeks.

Was on TUBI looking for something to watch, Saw the above poster and the 2023 release date and after a quick look at IMDB,where I confirmed no one in this did much else,I started the movie.

The lead has been single for a bit. His previous fianace left him for another man. So he now rarely leaves his home. He works from home. A friend of his tells him about this service for android maids. Yea Rosie from Jetsons but HOT. And this is set in the modern time. 

The friend hints the company behind this service is a bit shady. And everytime the lead asks about the cost he just gets told "you can afford it"

He gets sent the lady on the poster,Mako. And fairly quickly he is going from booking her for 4 hours every few days to 8 hours every day to wanting her to stay. This requires a charging station be added to his closet. Seems Mako can only operate for 8 hours,then takes 8 hours to charge.

The first night when he goes to bed he puts Mako to sleep mode and on charge. And she starts to have nightmare about a previous client. Who tortured her. Cause why not she aint a human she is a robot. 

Yep this droid is gonna start trying to kill our lead.  What sets her off ,besides the nightly dreams of torture,is when the ex fianace gets back in touch. 

Oddly this was way better than I expected. The poster and trailer made it appear to be more like a "Vista Street" era Witchcraft film. Sure it has nudity and sex scenes.  They are all short and the acting is actually decent.

The gore was better than I expected. With the kills near the end being way harsher than you normally see in a low budget film of this sub genre.

Maid Droid gets a C.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 05 A Haunted House

 

TITLE-A Haunted House

SOURCE-Universal DVD

Once the Scary Movie franchise died the lower level Wayans brothers,Shawn and Marlon,started this parody/horror/comedy series.Yep another "Hey this is a buck and you never seen it"buys. 

Marlon is moving his new wife ,Essence Atkins,into his home. He has a security system set up. And the first half of the movie is a Paranormal Activity parody. Which parts were funny,but having not seen any of the Paranormal Activity movies I am sure there is bits I didn't get.

Then the last half the wife is now possessed,after getting banged by a "gost". And the film morphs into a Exorcist parody. Cedric the Entertainer as the Priest.

In these parody films they throw 100 jokes out at once knowing a few will hit and you will laugh. So for me to judge one of these I take notice of how long I go WITHOUT laughing. And on this one there was long stretches where I might grin at a bit,but no laughes.

Worth renting or streaming. Now I gotta figure out what to do with this movie I will never watch again.

A Haunted House gets a C.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 04 Sleepy Hollow High

 

TITLE-Sleepy Hollow High

SOURCE-Sterling DVD

Betting this is the most time and money I have spent on a shitty movie. 6 years ago I found Sleepy Hollow High on VHS at a local junkstore. Paid the 50 cents the guy wanted. Then it just got added to the unwatched stack.

Skip ahead to 2020. Stuck at home cause of all the shit going on I found the trailer to Sleepy Hollow High on Youtube. Fuck I gotta watch this. Couldn't find my vhs. Offer to Ebay dropped 10 buck,plus 3 for shipping to get the dvd. The one pictured above. The one that smelled like an ashtray.

5 students that are in trouble are sent to Sleepy Hollow Park Grounds to perfom community service. A killer is loose and they start to die.Standard slasher shit. 

Then add in bad acting,bad camera angles,bad fx work,bad script and you get this pile of shit. Only thing worth a fuck about it is the shooting location. But then finding a patch of woods that is empty to film in isn't that hard.

Of course now after spending close to 15 bucks on this pile of donkey feces I see it is now on Youtube,free. Don't go watch it. Avoid this rancid lump of tripe.

Sleepy Hollow High gets a F.