31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 01 We summon the Darkness

 

TITLE-We Summon the Darkness

SOURCE-Netflix

So back in 2019 this horror film came out. I heard nothing about it till last year. Was late one night and I wanted something new to watch. Read the synopsis and thought this sounded decent. It is the late 80s and 3 teen girls have went to a metal band concert. Turns out someone has been killing people in a Satanic way. 

At the concert the girls meet three 80s era Metalheads with a van. Spend most of the concert with the guys. Then when it is over they invite the guys to come back to their place. 

Of course they want us the audience to assume these guys are gonna be evil and do something horrible to the young women. But nope. The girls spike the guys drinks. Then over the course of the film try to kill them.

One of the girl's dad's is a TV preacher. And a group the girls belong to has been doing these Satanic killings to boost the donations coming into the church. And that TV Preacher father is played by Johnny Knoxville. Who isn't in the film that much but stands out when he is on screen.

The only other member of the cast I knew was Alexandra Daddido. Seen her in TCM 3d and a few other movies. She really isn't given much to work with here sadly.

The FX work is decent. The script and acting is ok. But nothing about the movie makes it rise above the flood of horror you will find on Netflix.

We Summon the Darkness gets a C+.

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 18 Hack-O-Lantern

 

TITLE-Hack-O-Lantern

SOURCE-Joe Bob's Last Drive In on Shudder

For close to 15 years now I have heard about Hack-O-Lantern. But never wanted to pay what a VHS copy was selling for. Then the Blu ray came out and I missed out. Thankfully last year as part of his Halloween special Joe Bob Briggs showed it.

Made by an Indian director this was a money grab to get some of that sweet slasher bucks.By the time this came out in 88 the slasher fad was pretty much dead. And the film wasn't helped by it being really low budget and just odd as fuck.

A wacky grandpa is teaching his grandson the ways of Satanism. This grandson turns out to be a scummy piece of shit. Who goes around killing people while dressed up as a demon.

Speaking of the grandson. Dude has a great collection of horror movie posters in his basement. Plus added bonus his girlfriend is played by Adult Film Star Jenna Fine.

While watching the Joe Bob airing of this I learned why Jenna was hired. The director wanted women with no pubic hair. So hired a pornstar. That way they could do full frontal nudity and not worry  about having to mosaic out the hair when released in Japan.

And man is this film padded. We get two musical numbers from a band. Both times it feels like a music video was dropped into the film. Then at a Halloween Bacholer party we get a stand up comedian doing his stand up set outside. Joe Bob theorized this is because films in India are like a variety show. So the director put that aspect into the movie.

The acting is pretty bad. But the sets and FX work aren't too bad. But hey I finally got to see a film I've been wanting to see for years.

Hack-O-Lantern gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror 2020 Day 13 Satanis The Devil's Mass

 

TITLE-Satanis the Devil's Mass

SOURCE-Something Weird Video DVD

I love Something Weird Video and I love Documentaries. So when I found this SWV dvd at a near by pawn shop and I saw it had a documentary on Anton LeVay's Church of Satan I had to buy it.

This double feature DVD is loaded. You get two full movies,Satanis and Sinthia The Devil's Doll,and so many extras. Like the shorts British Black Mass and My Tale is Hot!,starring the legendary Candy Barr. Plus of course trailers and all kinds of other extras.

Filmed back in 1969.at the infamous San Franciso Black House,Satanis is a documentary all about Anton LeVay and his Church of Satan. The film makers get to enter this forbidden house of worship and film a "real" black mass.

I'm sure when this was released in 1970 people were shocked and disgusted. But now 50 years later it is pretty obvious that Anton and the rest of his church were putting on a big fake show for the camera lens.

For those that don't know sometime in the 60s Anton founded the Church of Satan. And managed to get it a sanctioned church in the US.  Sure the general public hears Church of Satan and imagines a dark room full of people in black and red,drinking blood and maybe sacrificing some animals. And of course since Anton was carny as fuck that is what he gave the crew filming him and his church for Satanis.

The thing is the Church of Satan are basically Atheist. Yep the Church of Satan doesn't believe Satan exists. They just chose the name Church of Satan to get a reaction out of the people that aren't in on the joke.

Yea so with lots of the stuff being filmed being a smoke show this isn't that great of a documentary. I would have rather seen a long sit down interview with Anton. Where he breaks kayfabe and shoots with the camera. But that wouldn't have riled up the public. And Anton loved to fuck with the general public.

If it wasn't for having another film and a pile of extras this DVD would be a rip off. Also recently this was one of the films AGFA and SWV have announced as coming to Blu Ray.

Satanis The Devil's Mass gets a D-.

31 Days of Horror Day 18 Satan's Storybook

Title-Satan's Storybook
Source-TubiTV app

While I love modern tech in someways I hate it. Like how I waited until 2004 to finally get a cellphone. And even now 14 years later I still got a fliphone.. Not a smartphone. Hell for years I didn't want a tablet computer. I had a desktop and a laptop and was happy. Then I got a good tablet for cheap and discovered how useful it can be. Kinda nice to have a device that fits in my pocket that is loaded up with piles of books,comics,movies,cartoons and TV shows. Plus cause of it I have discovered all kinds of free streaming services.

Sure every one knows about Netflix and Hulu. But how many of y'all know of TubiTV? It is a free streaming service. Were you get uncut movies and TV shows. The only drawback is about every 30 minutes you will get 2 or 3 thirty second long ads. So not a bad trade off. TubiTV has piles of stuff. And on evenings when it isn't hot I will go sit on  my back porch and find  something to watch on TubiTV.

It was months back I had the house to myself and didn't feel like sitting inside watching whatever crap airs on TV. So I filled up a big glass of iced tea,grabbed my tablet and my dog and I went to sit on the back porch. I was scrolling thru the recently added movies section on TubiTV when I saw Satan's Storybook. I did a double take cause I was sure I had seen the cover before and was sure the blonde on it was a 80s era Ginger Lynn aka Ginger Lynn Allen. I knew the cover and film title sounded familiar but didn't know why. I started up the film and saw that it is a very low budget DTV horror from 1989.

It was about halfway thru the film,during one of the ad breaks,that I realized why I knew the cover. For at least a year maybe more,in Fangoria there would be a quarter page ad advertising this movie. The ad played up the fact that it had the first non-porno role for Ginger Lynn Allen. Who IIRC was dating Charlie Sheen at the time. And the company selling the VHS wanted 29.95 plus shipping for it. Now for years I had seen the ad and wanted to see the movie. But figured I would never get a chance.

I looked online and the movie has so far only gotten a VHS release. Kinda surprised Code Red,Slasher Video or Massacre Video or hell Bleeding Skull hasn't released this on DVD or Blu Ray yet. VHS copies go for stupid prices. I am guessing not that many people bought a copy back in the day.And I never saw it for rent in any video store.

The story is fairly simple. Ginger plays some kind of Angelic ninja. The first scene is Ms Allen dressed up as a white ninja fighting off a bunch of black ninjas. While trying to save a gothic looking lady. We find out the goth lady is Satan's bride. And Ginger is there to stop the wedding so she can prevent the birth of the AntiChrist.

After this we switch to Satan in a throne. He is mad that his woman has been kidnapped. So to cheer him up Hell's jester shows up to tell Satan a few stories. Yep this is a horror anthology.

That is Satan. A guy in a goat mask with furry pants. Whoever made the movie must have gotten some fog machines cheap. Cause everytime we see Satan there is piles of fog.

The first story is "Demon of Death". About a 80s era serial killer. He dresses like your typical late 80s metalhead. And picks names at random out of the phone book. Then goes and kills the person he picked.Then at random he picks a girl who has ESP and her mother is a witch. Our killer gets gunned down but doesn't die. So is put on death row. And we get a trite as fuck twist ending.

The second story is about a drunk ass clown. Who kills himself. After what feels like an hour of boring dialogue we find out the clown is in hell. Yeah this story sucks.

Ginger is wandering around the woods with Satan's bride with her. They get surrounded by a bunch of people in whatever slightly Satanic looking stuff Party City had marked at 70% off the day after Halloween. During this battle Ginger just disappears. And we find out that Satan's bride now doesn't want to have a kid. Cut back to Ginger bathed in red light and surrounded by fog. And she implies that we will get a sequel.

It was more than likely 89 or 90 when I first saw the ad for this movie in Fangoria. And so it has been right at 30 years that I have been wanting to see it. So while it was kick ass I finally got to see a film I had never seen and thought I would never get to see,plus I saw it for free. The movie sucks ass. The only good parts are well Ginger looks great,the goat mask Satan wears is well done and the one evil clown in the second story is actually  a bit scary. Besides that the movie was a waste of 90 or so minutes.

Now if you want to see this pile of shit,and why would you,well I haven't checked to see if it is still on TubiTV. TubiTV has a habit of cycling out stuff at random. You can find the full movie on Youtube.  That way you can watch this minor piece of DTV horror history for free.

Satan's Storybook gets a F.

2016 Comic Challenge 176 Chilling Adventures of Sabrina #05

TITLE-Chilling Adventures of Sabrina #05
PUBLISHER-Archie Comics

After a way too long wait,I love most of the new stuff coming from Archie but am getting a bit sick of the constant late shipping on over half the titles,issue 5 of the not for kids Sabrina title is out. So was it worth the wait............. Yeah it was.

Sabrina has to face the Witch's Council cause of Harvey seeing her induction into the witch group. While on trial she has to face a few tests. Which she passes so she gets declaired innocent.

But it seems Sabrina had help passing the test. Ms Porter AKA Madam Satan made sure Sabrina passed. And now has recurited Betty and Veronica from Riverdale. Yep Betty and Veronica are part of a coven with Ms Grundy in Riverdale.

And with the help of the two ladies from out of town and Ms Porter,Sabrina casts a spell that will bring Harvey Kinkle back from the grave. She gets told it will take 3 days for him to come back.

3 days later we are in the Kinkle house. Ms Kinkle is still setting a place at the dinner table for Harvey,believing since his body hasn't been found he is still alive.Mr Kinkle is sure Harvey is dead. Harvey rises from the grave and makes his way home.

Once he gets there we see that his mother might have lost touch with reality in a major way. Then in the last few pages learn that while it is Harvey's body the mind controling it is someone from Sabrina's past.

The art is fucking stunning. I love the look of the coloring,looks a bit like chalk to me.And the story is not only well written,but also well researched.  I hope there is no more huge ass delays on future issues.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina #05 gets  BUY!

House of the devil

House of the Devil is a recent film from director Ti West. A young college student has just moved into her first apartment and is trying to get enough money to cover her first months rent. She sees an advert for a babysitting job and calls the listed phone number. Turns out it is a couple that needs her to babysit on the night of a Lunar eclipse. She gets her best friend to drive her out to the house,and while she feels uneasy about taking the job. Her uneasiness is tempered by the father of the couple offering her $400,It seems they have no kid and just want her there to keep an eye on his wife's elderly mother. After the couple leaves she goes walking around the house and finds what seems to be a kid's room that has many current toys laying around. This causes her to get weirded out. Meanwhile while on her friend is driving home and stops in a local cemetery to rest and have a cig. While trying to light her cigarette she is startled by a scruffy looking man. He ask her if she is the one coming out to babysit,and when she says no. He shoots her point blank,and we get to see a nice blood and brain splatter scene. Back at the house,the young girl orders a pizza,while waiting she goes an plays a game of billiards. Finally there is a knock at the front door and it's the guy who killed her friend in the graveyard. She gives him a $20 and slams the door. Finally she sits down to eat and calm down. But after one slice she hears a strange sound upstairs and goes to investigate. But after she gets up to the third floor ,every thing gets all cloudy and she passes out. When she comes to she is in an all white dress and tied to the floor in the middle of a huge pentagram. It seems the parents and what I assume has to be their "child" are gonna sacrifice her. She manages to get one arm free and quickly gets herself free. She runs off but is confronted by the "pizza delivery" man. He shoots her in her right shoulder,but thinking quickly she slashes his throat with a knife she had managed to pick up in the kitchen. The two parents chase after her,but she manages to escape out of the house and runs down the long road. She makes it all the way to the graveyard and is confronted by the father,she uses the gun she got off pizza man and shoots herself in the head.Then we cut to a hospital room,where our heroine is laying in a bed almost completely covered with bandages. A nurse is attending to her and says "No worries you and your little one are gonna be OK." And then the credits roll. This film is one I have been hearing about for about the past 9 months all over the Internet. It is a throwback to the 80's horror films,but I also noticed a heavy 70's made for TV horror film vibe to it. It is a very very slow build,with nothing much happening until the 1 hour mark. But while in other films I would find this a major problem in this film it just works at building the tension. One thing that stood out to me is how grainy the picture was. I watched this on my decent sized LCD TV and the DVD is 16x9 anamorphic,so I assume it was supposed to look this grainy. The grain didn't really detract from the film,it actually made it feel more like something I would have rented and watched back in 1984 on the Beta max. The acting was all around pretty good. House of the Devil gets a B+.

Showcasing the Essentials 07

Harvey Comics Classics Volume 3-Hot Stuff the lil devil

As far back as I can remember I have been a fan of Hot Stuff. I believe this is because my father has a tattoo of this cute little devil on his left forearm. Sadly besides a short lived relaunch in the early 90's,Hot Stuff hasn't been published in many years. So when I heard about Dark Horses series reprinting various Harvey characters in the "essential/showcase" format I had to get it. We get 110 stories in this volume. Most are in black and white but in the middle of the volume we get 7 stories in full color. These were printed from the original art,so they look even better than they did when first printed. Hot Stuff was kinda an oddity in the Harvey universe. He was the only major character that didn't cross over with any of the others. He is a young devil ,who wears an asbestos diaper. He loves all thing hot,and hates the cold. His stories were usually very short,and as far as I know he had no multi-part stories in his entire history. He is also the only one of the major Harvey comic characters that never had an animated appearance. I believe this is cause of concerns of how he would be perceived in the bible belt. Even though Hot Stuff is a devil ,there is nothing at all Satanic about him or his stories. In his 3 decade publishing history he ended up building up a small supporting cast which was mainly his aunts and other relatives. Hot Stuff was also the only Harvey character to get his own title without a tryout in another title. Most of his adventures were drawn by Warren Kremer,for his first few years. Then Howard Post took over the artistic chores. And finally the very underrated Ernie Colon drew most of his stories up until the title ended in 1982. This Lil devil was one of the many "bad boys" in the comic scene. And stood out in sharp contrast to the other Harvey creations. Going back and reading the stories reprinted in this volume,which reprints various selections from the years 1957-1966,one can see how He had the same basic plot line in most of the issues. This is one of those trades that you don't really want to sit down and read all at once,it works better if you read a few at a time. I am hoping this series of reprints sold well enough for Dark Horse to come back with a second volume of Lil Devil adventures. Harvey Comics Classics volume 3 Hot Stuff gets a B.

31 days of horror Day 2

The Devils

Source-Bootleg DVD which is a composite of the region 2 dvd with the 2 "Lost" scenes from an airing on BBC4.

Directed by Ken Russell back in the mid 70's,The Devils is a film that stirred up a heap of controversy when first released. It is a tale of a convent in France where alot of the nuns seem to be possessed. Up until a few years ago 2 different scenes that were cut from the film before it was released were thought to have been lost. I recently got a copy of the film with these two scenes reinstated. The most Infamous of the two is the "Rape of Christ" scene. In which a gaggle of nuns strip nude and proceed to pull a giant crucifix down and then start rubbing their nude body's all over the representation of Christ. This scene even to an staunch Atheist like me is still stunning too watch. Hopefully the full cut of this movie will be released on DVD in Region 1. Overall I would have to give this film an A-.