Darkness Falls

Darkness Falls

Picked this DVD up last year at a yard sale. I had never heard much about it,but it was only 50 cents so I took a chance. Big mistake. Set in the town of Darkness Falls,it seems there is a local legend about the Tooth Fairy. She comes and collects kid's teeth,but if you happen to see her she will kill you. Movie starts off with a kid who has just lost his last baby tooth,and before he goes to sleep he gets a visit from a the girl next door. Kid goes to sleep,and wakes up hearing some strange noise in his room. He looks up and sees the Tooth fairy,which causes him to scream. His mother runs in and also sees the Tooth Fairy. The Fairy proceeds to kill the mom as the kid runs off and hides in the bathroom. It turns out the Tooth Fairy can't get you if you are in light. The movie cuts to the next morning and the boy is being lead away by cops. And the girl that came to visit him the night before has a very sad look on her face.

Now we jump ahead about 12 years. We see a lady in a hospital and it turns out her younger brother is having problems. He hasn't slept more than 10 minutes in almost a year.The brother has also seen the Tooth Fairy and now refuses to be in the dark. At her wits end the older sister calls the kid from the beginning of the film. Who lives in a room that has multiple lights. He comes to help and tries his best to keep the Tooth Fairy from getting the brother. Well the movie just goes downhill from here. Horrible acting plus a bad script equals one big shit pile of a film. The effects are the only decent part of the film. One thing I did notice is without the credits this film is about 68 minutes long. That has to be one of the shortest big release theatrical films in a long time. Darkness Falls easily earns a D-.

I love cheap dvds part 2

Went to a garage sale this past weekend and got the following for 50 cents each.

House Party II-Pajama Jammy JAM!! Haven't seen this one in about 15 years,and it doesn't hold up that great. But shit it was 50 cents.

Pee Wee's big adventure-Kinda surprised I didn't already own this. The commentary is good.

Darkness Falls-Haven't watched it yet. But IIRC it was about a killer tooth fairy.

Freeway-Modern retelling of Lil red riding hood,this is one that I have had many people recommend to me.

The Crush-This is another one I haven't seen in many many years. Hoping it holds up.

Christina's House-Never heard of this,but I figured for the price it was worth taking a chance.

Exorcist III-This is the only one from the Exorcist series that I enjoy.

31 days of Horror Year 2 Day 7

Witchcraft 13 Blood of the Chosen

York Entertainment DVD

Most horror fans have at least heard of the long running “Witchcraft” series of films. They started off as low budget B horror movies but around part 4 morphed into low budget T&A horror movies. Earlier this year when Movie Gallery was closing I found part 13 for $1. Having already seen about 7 or so of the earlier ones I figured I would pick it up. Going in I was expecting lots of nudity and lots of cheap looking gore,but I was majorly wrong. There is almost no nudity at all in this shitpile of a film. And the gore is super low rent. Will Spanner is back for the 10th or so time in this series. He has to solve the mystery of who is killing people and ripping their hearts out. I am pretty sure it is a different actor playing Will this time,but then it has been about 3 years since I saw Witchcraft 12. The acting is worse than porn film acting. The film looks to have been recorded on a old ass vhs camcorder,and is full of grain and video dropouts. Avoid this film at all cost. It isn’t even worth buying to get drunk and laugh at. Witchcraft 13 gets a F-.

31 days of horror year 2 day 4

Dorm of the Dead-Midnight horror stories DVD

Earlier this year I went to Coast Con in Biloxi MS. One of the dealers had a huge stack of various DVDs. I went through the stack and picked up this film and one other. He wanted $3 each,but I talked him into taking $5 for both. Turns out I got ripped off for $4.98. The movie starts off at Arkham University,and two super snobby girls have a score to settle with a couple of goth girls. One of the snobby rich girls accidentally starts a zombie outbreak on campus. And she thinks Sarah,one of the goth girls,as the perfect person to join the undead. I picked this DVD up for 3 reasons. First off it is a zombie movie,and I love zombie movies. Second,It was cheap. And third is because Tiffany Shepis is listed on the front cover. I think Ms Shepis is the best of the new crop of scream queens,she is not only very cute but a good actress. Well turns out she is in the movie for about 5 minutes tops. And the rest of the main cast are about as talented as a kindergardener in a school play. Even the somewhat abundant nudity can't save this movie from being a total waste of time. Dorm of the Dead gets a F-.

Movies to avoid 1

The worst movies ever

Passport video

I knew something was fishy when this documentary of the 50 worst movies ever made had a run time of 1 hour. And damn I was right. Alot of the time they spend at most 30 seconds on a movie. And usually they barely tell why this film is one of the worst ever. Another big gripe is they inculde Jack Hill's Spiderbaby on the list. This late 60s horror movie,starring Lon Chaney Jr and Sid Haig,is one of the unsung classics of the horror genre. I had seen this dvd on the shelves many times and almost have bought it. Thankfully Netflix had it and it wasn't even worth a Netflix rental. Avoid at all cost.

A sidenote I think I have come down with the flu. So I doubt I will be updating much the next week or so.

31 days of horror Day 28

Who can kill a child

Source- Dark Skys DVD

OK first off this was recommended to me by a friend who's opinion i trust. Well this time he steered me wrong. A British couple is on vacation in Spain. And the husband wants to go back to an island he visited many years back. They take a small boat there. When they get their the only people they see are all children. Turns out something has happened to the children on this island and they are killing off all the adults. The couple ends up being chased by the kids and finally they lock themselves in a jail cell in the local jail. A young kid,looks to be like 8 climbs up into the windowsill and tries to shoot them. The husband kills the kid and the wife freaks out. She is pregnant and not too much longer the fetus starts eating her from the inside out.This was the best scene in this almost 2 hour long film. The next morning the husband leaves the jail and heads to the dock to take the boat back to the mainland. On his way there he runs into the kids,and he guns down about 9 of them. Like an idiot he drops his gun and starts running to the dock. Of course the kids take up the chase. He makes it to the boat and the kids are right behind him. He starts fighting them off with an oar. As the kids are attacking him a police boat pulls up and sees him attacking the kids. The police officer shots him,and he falls dead into the water. The police go onto the docks,and the kids tell them the adults are right around the corner in the city. As the cops walk off the kids grab the officers guns off the cop boat and kill the cops. The movie ends with a group of the kids taking a boat to the mainland. Lots of things wrong with this movie. First off it has about 45 minutes worth of story but it runs almost 2 hours long. Besides one quick scene at the 30 minutes mark nothing much happens until the 1 1/2 hour mark. Both of the lead actors were pretty bad. The gore effects,what little their was ,were OK but nothing special. Who can kill a child earns a D-.

31 days of horror Day 16

Buried Alive

Source-Dimension Extreme DVD

Man what a stinker,I picked this up last year around this time at a flea market. The redneck dealer with 3 teeth,gave it to me for free since I bought about 10 other DVDs from him. After I watched it today I see why it was free. 5 college friends head up to one of theirs old family home. Which is supposed to have a treasure hidden somewheres on the property. Before they get there they stop to talk to the caretaker,played by Saw's Tobin Bell. The college kids finally make it up to the house,where they pair off for some fun. Weird creepy old woman ghost keeps showing up,and the kids mostly don't notice her until it is too late. Basically this movie sucked more than Vanessa Del Rio. The premise is tired and cliche. Hardly no action happened until the last 10 minutes. Avoid at all cost. F-

31 Days of horror Day 6

Boarding House

Source-Code Red DVD

Horrible horrible movie,even worse than Dawn of the living dead. Worse than anything Ed Wood put out. Guy inherits house,turns it into a Boarding house for slightly skanky looking females. Someone with telekinesis is killing off the girls. Even the abundant nudity can't save this huge pile of shit. Shot on video,and it shows,this movie was made back in the early 80's. And somehow was released to theaters. All the actors/actresses are worse than the worst little theater production. While watching this abortion of a movie,it felt like my brain was turning into liquid and pouring out my ears. I doubt that even Joel/Mike and the bots could save this waste of celluloid. Avoid at all costs. This gets a F-. I have seen more entertaining film on my dog's teeth.

31 Days of horror Day 5

Dawn of the Living Dead

Source-Retail DVD

Found this "gem" around this time last year at a local once a year flea market. It was still sealed and only cost me $3. Too bad I got ripped off for $2.99. I should have known better when the biggest names in the cast were Joe Estevez and Todd Bridges. It is your basic zombie movie,but for some reason you never see more than 3 zombies at anytime. Joe is the male lead and we are supposed to believe he is married to a woman that is half his age. Bridges has a very very small part as the local "crazy Ralph". Not sure if it's acting or Todd's love of crack,but it is very hard to understand what he is saying. And thanks to a lack of subtitles a lot of the dialogue is drowned out by the horrid musical score. Avoid this movie at all cost. I have a friend out in Texas that seems to love any horrid piece of shit horror movie,so I will be sending this to her as a X-mas gift. This gets an F-.