31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 26 Dinosaur Hotel

 

TITLE-Dinosaur Hotel

SOURCE-ITN DVD

ITN aka the International Turd Network,no not really.But they appear to mostly release UK or Spanish made films. And their releases are usually shit.

Over the last year I learned about how there is a pile of studios putting out low budget DTV horror. And every week various stores have these films for 5 to 10 bucks.

Well it was back in the start of summer ,CodyLL of Cody's blog was doing a pile of dinosaur films to get ready for the newest Jurassic World film,I saw Dinosaur Hotel and figured what the hell. Saw it was from ITN and knew then the film would look cheap. And it was cheap,3 bucks. Well you get what you pay for.

A lady,who brings her kids,is at a hotel where dinosaurs roam. And is part of a game. Theree are twists and stuff. But the dinos look like stuff from the PS1 game Dino Crisis. And the kills look like cut scenes from that game.

The acting is from ok to HOLY HELL HOW BAD CAN YOU GET. With the lead lady's daughter being horrible.

The bad CGI is the  only FX work in the film. And wow they do all they can to make sure the CGI isnt in the frame with most anything else. Like the scene near the end where the daughter is trapped in the kitchen. Fighting off raptors. She is swinging a club and the club and her are never in the same shot as the CGI raptor.

Every year for 31 Days of Horror I try out some low budget newer horror to see if there is a gem hidden  in all the chaff. Well Dinosaur Hotel is  not  a gem. It is pure chaff.

Dinosaur Hotel gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 27 The VelociPastor

 

TITLE-VelociPastor

SOURCE-Youtube

This low budget and insane horror/comedy came out in 2018. I heard about it back then and wanted to see it. But forgot about the film. Earlier this year I was making a list of films I wanted to review for 31 days of Horror. For some reason VelociPastor popped up in my head. I used the JustWatch site,a great search engine for streaming services,to see if it was on any of the streaming services I have. It wasn't. I mentioned to my lady how I wanted to see the movie and a few minutes later she sent me a link to it on Youtube.

From the first few minutes of this film we can tell what kind of film we are about to watch. The film opens with a car wreck but we dont see the wreck. Instead we see a sign saying something like INSERT WRECK FOOTAGE HERE! So yea we are gonna get a kinda meta horror/comedy.

Doug is our lead and he sees his parents die in the previously mentioned car wreck. Being depressed Doug travels to China on a spiritual journey. He finds a group of ninjas who have an artifact that they claim will turn people into the Dragon Warrior,no not the uber common NES game.

Doug gets infected by the artifact and this causes him to turn into the VelociPastor of the title.And the rest of the film is full of wackiness. With Doug going around fighting people as this dino ninja.

The budget is 35k. And I kinda doubt it was that high. All the FX work looks really cheap. With lots of the scenes with the VelociPastor looking like something I would see in a mid 90s Sega CD video game. But the acting and the really funny and fun script make up for the lack of budget.

This movie was a pretty decent hit on the festival scene. And a sequel is suppose to happen sometime soon.

If you enjoy low budget horror and dumb as a rock comedy this is a movie worth tracking down. Just know going into the film that you are watching a movie that costs less than the catering on any of the big blockbuster movies you have seen in the past 20 years.

The VelociPastor gets a A.

Disney's Dinosaurs The Mating Dance VHS review

3 Toys from the Junkbox 9/20/2015

Yeah I know it has been awhile since I did one of these. But I have been busy with lots of stuff this summer.

This is from the Imaginext line. They do blind buy bagged figures. Normally they are 3 or 4 bucks. But my local Walmart is clearing series 3 out at $1.50 a figure. Sadly the figures have no names so I named this guy Louie. He has articulation his hips,wrists,shoulders and neck. With the shoulders being on balljoints. Which gives you much more range of movement. I love how all the Imaginext stuff works with any figure from the line. So I can take Louie's guitar and amp and give them to say the Batman Imaginext I got back in May.

The paint on Louie is well done. And the sculpting is really good for such a small figure. You can't see it in the pic but his vest has all kinds of chains,buttons and other stuff sculpted into it.

Here is another Imaginext figure. I have named him Nok Nok the caveman. Imaginext has a dinosaur line and Nok Nok is from that set. The dinosaur he rides has a lever that makes his mouth open and close. And over all has decent articulation. And great paint and sculpting. Nok Nok comes with the mask that is made to look like it was made out of bone. No clue what these normally cost. But I got mine on clearance for $2.

And the last figure. It is Doc Brown from Back to the Future. This is from the Funko made ReAction line of action figures.I really like how these are made to look like the old Kenner Star Wars figures I collected as a kid. And like those figures they don't have much articulation. Doc Brown has joints at his hips,shoulders and neck. But that is all the old Star Wars figures had. The sculpting and paint is much better than those old Kenner figures were. And his only accessory is the toolkit he has in his left hand. Now normally these are 10 bucks each. Which is way more than I would pay. I caught this on sale for $5 and it is worth that much to me. There is only 4 figures in the ReAction Back to the Future line. They had all 4 in the store. And I was tempted to get them all. But ended up finding some other stuff I wanted more.

Weird finds for under a buck 01

This was suppose to be a 3 issue limited series. But was switched to 1 issue. Based on the Topps trading card set,which was inspired by the classic "Mars Attacks" card set. Thanks to a scientist messing with time the earth is invaded by a huge amount of dinosaurs. This comic helps flesh out the back story,but sadly only covers about 1/3rd of the cards. Nowadays the card set and this comic are mostly forgotten. And you can get either cheap. I got the comic for a buck from an online retailer,and managed to snag a complete set of the cards plus the stickers,and an unopened waxbox off e-bay for around 10 bucks including postage. If you haven't read the card set I don't see this comic appealing to you,but if you have and loved it this comic is a must buy. 7 outta 10.