Juni Ba's Monkey Meat Issue 3

 

TITLE-Juni Ba's Monkey Meat #3

PUBLISHER-Image 

Not that long ago I got 200 random indie comix. So one evening while dinner was cooking, I will make a pizza once a week for dinner, I sat down and just grabbed a handful of these random comix and started reading them.

This issue starts off with what appears to be two bums sitting up against a wall. Telling stories of the past. About a delivery boy. With a very important package. Seems this boy was stolen as a baby by the Fae. Then once he was a teen released back into the real world. He became the best delivery person in the world. 

So he was tasked with delivering a very very important package. Just one thing 

A TROLL UNDER A BRIDGE!!!!

Yep this tall tale told by drunken bums is a retelling of a classic fairy tale. 

The Troll is strong and tough. The Delivery Boy has a secret weapon. A potion that allows him to keep on living after dying. A potion that caused a zombie outbreak. Still this package must be delivered.

Then the ending> SPOILERS<

The package was another young child that was stolen by the Fae and out Delivery Boy brings her home to her parents.

And this tall tale telling ends with the parents and that child visiting the bums and giving them beer.

This was wild. Feels like there is a very hidden story under all this. One I would catch more of if I had read the first 2 issues. 

Juni Ba's Monkey Meat Issue 3 gets  B.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 2 Chinese Speaking Vampires

 

TITLE-Chinese Speaking Vampires

SOURCE-Echo Bridge DVD

Back last year in  late September I was given this dvd. "Saw this and thought you might want to review it for you little Halloween horror movie reviews thing." I looked at the cover and title. Saw it was a fairly recent film and released by Echo Bridge and figured it would suck and stacked it into the "I might watch this one day pile".

Skip aheaad to today,there was nothing on DISH or the DVR. And I was uploading a video to one of my Youtube channels so I couldn't stream. Figured what the hell and threw in Chinese Speaking Vampires.

Davy Williams is our lead. He is a food delivery guy who is also a struggling actor. He goes to an audition but learns to get the role he needs to speak fluent Manderian. Knowing this movie might be his last chance to become a working actor he joins a local school to learn Manderian.

This school is ran by  Sean Eden Yi,who you will remember from piles of movies and tv shows. Yi also helped plan the stunts in this movie. Yi teaches Manderian at a night class. After signing up for these classes Davy goes out to have a few drinks with 2 buddies. At this club they meet up with 2 ladies that are also in the Manderian class Davy is in. 

Out of nowhere a bunch of CHINESE SPEAKING VAMPIRES invade the club. But thankfully a group of very Proud vampire killers,who are all mostly Boys enter the club. 

Seems a  Preacher knows that there is an invasion of Chinese Vampires and is trying to use his charisma to gather an army of vamprie hunters.

Over the next 30 minutes of the film Sean Eden Yi starts turning more and more of his students into Vampires. And one of the side effects of getting bitten by Yi is you can now speak fluent Manderian but also forget what ever langauge is your native tongue.

So your  basic plot Yi's students vs the very PROUD and BOYish Vampire hunters. 

Now the FX work goes from crappy CGI junk,like anytime a Vampire is stabbed with a wooden stake they become a PS1 era looking cloud of dust. But then there is a fight scene where our lead Davy punches one of the PROUD vampire hunters through the stomach and we get a legit well done practical FX work.

Acting wise the film is a mixed bag. Davy Williams is good as the lead,and he also produced and wrote the screen play. Daniella Brown on the other hand is wooden. She is Davy's romantic interest and is just bad.  Sean Eden Yi is great as the teacher/leader of the Chinese Speaking Vampires. He has a odd sense of humor that just cracks me up. The surprise in the cast is June Lee. That is her on the cover in the plaid skirt. She manages to blend comedy and dram well. Appears to be having so much fun making the movie. Richard Gavigan is really great as Davy's buddy and the love interest of June Lee.

This DVD is bare bones. No extras at all. No subtitles no trailer no nothing but the film.

Chinese Speaking Vampires gets a C-.

31 days of horror Day 26

Joshikyôei hanrangun aka Attack girl's swim team vs the undead

Source-Museum DVD

Wow this was bad,but weirdly entertaining. Their is a new girl in school,her name is Aki. She is talked into joining the girls swim team. At the same time everybody at the school is being vaccinated for a new virus that is going around. Somehow this vaccination ends up turning everyone that gets it into a kinda zombie,well everyone but the girls swim team. The major weirdness starts when the math teacher freaks out and starts lobbing off various students limbs with rulers. Very bloody scene but the hacked off limbs look pretty bad. Aki and the rest of the swim team figure out that they are immune cause of the chemicals in the swimming pool. So they gather buckets of water from the pool and start throwing it onto the zombified students. It works and changes the students back to humans. They throw some of this water onto the English teacher,but she stays a zombie and attacks them. The swim team manages to outwit her and wraps her up in a chain. Then we find out that Aki is an orphan who was kidnapped at a young age and trained to be a water assassin. The guy who trained her shows up and they have a huge fight in the schools boiler room. While this is happening the rest of the swim teams arms themselves with weapons and goes to take out the zombies that are left. Turns out the English teacher got loose of the chains and she manages to kill all but one of the swim team. Aki finally kills her old mentor and runs into the remaining swim team member outside the school. This girl uses a nerve agent on Aki ,and while Aki is laying on the ground unable to move the remaining swim team girl is killed by Aki's old mentor. Turns out the mentor had a twin. Seeing that Aki is paralyzed the mentor attempts to rape her,but Aki is prepared. Seems she has hidden some kind of laser firing device in her well her vagina. She shoots a laser and the twin blows up. This covers Aki in blood. So she goes to the pool to clean off and have a swim.In the middle of swimming she up and dies. Then it is flashed on the screen that the nerve agent used on her causes heart attacks if you do any kind of exercise within 8 hours of being exposed to it. Like I said earlier this was bad,but still entertaining. Sure it isn't something I would have bought but since I got it from Netflix it was worth it. The acting was not so hot,the special effect were piss poor. the only real standouts was just the plain weirdness of the story and the cuteness of the actress that played Aki. Attack girl's swim team vs the undead gets a C-.