31 Days of Horror 2025 Day 14 Exit 14

TITLE-Exit 14

SOURCE-CineDigm DVD

When out thrifting any horror dvd I havent seen and dont own that is 25 cents or less I will normally grab. Got a tote full of this stuff. And I try to once  a week grab one or two films out of that tote and attempt to watch them.

Generation X knows that Friday nights you had it on whatever channel Dukes of Hazzard was on. And John Schneider was the co lead on that show. Now he works with CineDigm making piles of Christian films down in South Louisiana. Exit 14 is one of the few horror films this group  has made.

On spring break a group of College kids stops at a store. A store right off the supposedly supernatural Exit 14. This store is ran by Tom Sizemore,which makes me think it is either a front for a coke ring or Tom really was running the store when the production company stopped in to piss and grab some snacks.

Their SUV dies,they get picked up by a tow truck and the driver,Tom again,offers for them to stay at his home that night. The college kids get told about a woman that died. Then  they get drunk and summon her spirit. Which of course causes stuff to go all spooky.

Also known as Devil's Doors and  being released in 2016 this is below the level of those Tubi Original horror films. Imagine a modern Full Moon movie. Now take out the nudity and gore and humor. And slash the budget in half. 

Avoid this turd. Now time to go put it in a box to mail to CodyLL.

Exit 14 gets a F.

 

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 24 Deathbed

 

TITLE-DeathBed

SOURCE-Full Moon/Shadow DVD

With used dvds 50 cents to a buck on average in my area I will grab stuff often to watch once and then give away. Saw this dvd on the shelf at a local junkstore. Was the booth with dollar dvds buy 10 get 2 more free. Deathbed and also Stuart Gordon's Castle Freak on a DVD for free sure.

And then it sat on the shelf for months. October is when the season finally start changing to fall in my area and seasons changing always mess with my sleep pattern. Leading to lots of nights in October where I am up all night. And ever since I was young I love to stay up late,just me in the living room watching a movie and reading a comic book.That is why yall might notice most of these reviews are hitting before 6am.

So Deathbed? What a pile of crap. Made during that short time when Full Moon was know as Shadow,not really sure why the name change,this feels like a really low budget attempt to get some of the attention all the Softcore/Horror combo films were getting. Stuff like the many Witchcraft films. 

A couple ends up with a bed that back in the 1920s a murder happened on. This caused this couple to go nutty. And Nothing about this boring ass movie could keep my attention. 

The FX is crap,the acting is crap. The plot is barely enough to fill 20 minute much less a full length film.

Only reason to buy this DVD is if you don't already have Castle Freak. Oh and to listen to the commentary on this movie. It has the director and Stuart Gordon and it feels more like those two chatting at a panel at a con than a commentary.

Fuck Deathbed!

Deathbed gets a D-.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 09 Die Die Delta Pi

 

TITLE-Die Die Delta PI

SOURCE-TUBI Streaming App

Another day another modern low budget horror movie off TUBI.

No one in the cast you ever heard of. Set in whatever locations the producer could get free or cheap. And starring whoever can be convinced to be in the film.

Back in the 80s,or the way people that never lived through the 80s like to think the 80s was,the Delta Pi sorority is about to add some new members.  

Out by the bonfire where the Delta Pi are about to burn their house mother in effigy an accident happens and the nerdy girl gets badly burnt.

Skip ahead to modern era and the Delta Pi sorority is back and got a pile of pledges wantiing to join. Someone is killing  them and are they connected to what happened in the 80s? Of course.

Barely over an hour,padded as hell and full of some horrible acting,dialogue and even camera angles.

Fuck this was bad. Not even worth seeing for free on TUBI.

Die Die Delta Pi gets a F.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 04 Sleepy Hollow High

 

TITLE-Sleepy Hollow High

SOURCE-Sterling DVD

Betting this is the most time and money I have spent on a shitty movie. 6 years ago I found Sleepy Hollow High on VHS at a local junkstore. Paid the 50 cents the guy wanted. Then it just got added to the unwatched stack.

Skip ahead to 2020. Stuck at home cause of all the shit going on I found the trailer to Sleepy Hollow High on Youtube. Fuck I gotta watch this. Couldn't find my vhs. Offer to Ebay dropped 10 buck,plus 3 for shipping to get the dvd. The one pictured above. The one that smelled like an ashtray.

5 students that are in trouble are sent to Sleepy Hollow Park Grounds to perfom community service. A killer is loose and they start to die.Standard slasher shit. 

Then add in bad acting,bad camera angles,bad fx work,bad script and you get this pile of shit. Only thing worth a fuck about it is the shooting location. But then finding a patch of woods that is empty to film in isn't that hard.

Of course now after spending close to 15 bucks on this pile of donkey feces I see it is now on Youtube,free. Don't go watch it. Avoid this rancid lump of tripe.

Sleepy Hollow High gets a F.

31 Days of Horror 2023 Day 20 NOTLD 30th Anniversary edition

 

TITLE-Night of the Living Dead 30 Anniversary cut

SOURCE-DVD

I remember when this came out. Huge long article in Video Watchdog about how horrible all the added footage was. And how the new soundtrack was horrible. I skipped it.And for 20 or so years later I have never seen anyone defend this cut of the classic piece of modern horror.

What happened was John Russo went and filmed a few new scenes. Added a new soundtrack and hoped this version would be the one everyone bought. Nope. There was already a great cleaned up laserdisc of the original 68 cut. Word was out fast that that 5 buck VHS Aunt Nez got you for First Communion from Fred's Drug store is a better version.

So what is the added scenes. Mostly it shows the Beekman's diner massacre. You know where Ben came from before he got to the farm house. Then we get Debbie Rochon in some newsclips. And IIRC the new soundtrack composer shows up as some kind of hellfire and brimstone preacher.

So why did I buy this knowing it was total shit? In the small town I live outside if you want any film and it isnt a new release you gotta either get it online or hope one of the local thrifts or pawn shops has a copy. 

One pawn shop normally wants a buck for a dvd and 2 bucks for Blu rays. But the owners know me now and know when I come in I will spend at least 20 bucks. So they have told me "How about X amount of movies for 20 bucks." Which means sometimes I grab stuff just too hit that number that is X. 

I was in that pawn. Needed 3 more movies to hit the number,where I will get them for 3 for a buck. I saw NOTLD. "Oh if this has a cool cover I will grab it." Then saw it was the 30th  anniversary edition. 

Today was the third time I have watched it. First time was the night after I bought it. And after finishing it I was tempted to toss the dvd into the give away bin. Second time was after telling someone how bad it was,and they didnt believe me. Third was today.

3 strikes and you are out NOTLD 30th Anniversary DVD. Got a good idea who's Newtcrate this is gonna be added too.

NOTLD 30th Anniversary edition gets a F.

31 Days of Horror 2020 Day 21 Manos Returns

 

TITLE-Manos Returns

SOURCE-Amazon Prime Video

Yep this is a sequel to the cult classic Manos Hand of fate.  I had been hearing for what feels like 20 years about a sequel being made. Well I don't think this is the sequel I was hearing about. Cause the one I kept hearing about had Gene Snitsky,Former WWE wrestler,and Maria Caneles,another former WWE wrestler. Manos Returns has neither person.

We start off with a car with 4 people driving thru a rural area. I am guessing every one in the car is from Europe. Because everyone of them has a very odd sounding accent. They get stopped by the local sheriff,cause they have a taillight out. 

After that the car ends up at a old abandoned house. Which I'm assuming is the house from the first Manos film. Torgo shows up and the 4 people are now stranded at this house. The house appears to be full of women in white nightgowns.

Now this film was like 1 hour and 7 minutes and sucked so much it felt like it was 8 hours long. The acting was horrible. Many times your could see the actor's eyes going back and forth as they read the cue cards that were just off camera.

The tiny bit of gore was bad. It looked like something you would see in one of those Super 8 films the Polonia Brothers made when they were young teens. 

Whoever was in charge of the camera either wasn't bothering to look thru the viewfinder or just didn't care. Most of the shots in the film are framed badly. And not just "hey this could look better" badly. I'm talking about "OK who gave the blind guy the camera" bad.

Back to the acting. The four leads all are competing to see who can be the worst actor in the film. And it ends up a 4 way tie. Really the only person in the cast that appears to have any acting talent is Torgo. And he is ok at best.

Pretty much avoid this turd. Saw ,after the film was over,that a prequel to Manos is on Amazon Prime Video. I might give that a watch another day. I doubt it can be any worse than this steaming pile of donkey shit.

Manos Returns gets a F.

31 Days of Horror 2020 Day 15 Mirrors 2 Unrated

 

TITLE-Mirrors 2

SOURCE-20th Century Fox DVD

Cause I buy lots of my DVDs used from thrifts and pawn shops I end up buying in bulk. Most of the local pawns will charge you as little as 50 cents a dvd if you buy say 20 at a time. One of my more recent trips to a pawn that is overstocked with DVDs I was needing one more DVD to hit that magic number of 20. So dispite having never seen Mirrors or the Asian film it was a remake of,I grabbed Mirrors 2. It was the best choice. And it being unrated I figured "Hey I might get lots of gore!"

Nick Stahl is the lead. He recently lost his fiancee,has a bad case of survivor's guilt and now is working a nightwatchman job at his Dad's store in New Orleans. After starting the job Nick AKA Max learns that one of the other nightwatch crew has went missing And the person who's job he has now went crazy.

Being named Mirrors you kinda know that late at night in a closed and almost empty of humans store you are gonna get a few mirror scares. Sadly this film is nothing but mirror scares... 

Whoever did the gore FX did a decent job. But after the first few mirror scares it all just becomes a jumble in my brain. I actually stopped the movie at the 45 minute mark and called up a close friend who is a huge fan of both Mirrors films. Asked her if there was anything from the first film that I should know before I go about finishing the sequel. After being asked why I watched the second film before watching the first movie,and being called weirdo I got told "Nah not really.The second film is more of the same just set in New Orleans."

So now I'm wondering,why did this DTV sequel to a horror film that wasn't a big hit get so much chatter online when it was coming out? Thought it might be the cast. Besides Nick Stahl you got Emmanuelle Vaugier. Who I kinda remembered from one of the CSI shows. The other person I knew was William Katt. Best known from Greatest American Hero and House and House IV. 

Hmmm maybe there is someone in the cast that I just don't know is a big or cult star. So I messaged my girlfriend. Sent her a link to the IMDB page."Hey scan this cast list and tell me if there is anyone in it that is a star that I wouldn't realize is a star."

Get a reply telling me the woman in the picture above this was on some Disney teen show for a long time and after that was the voice of Kim Possible. Ok so that might explain why people talked this movie up. Then a scene happened and I realized Mirrors 2 is to 90s kids what Streets was to the kids that were teens when Married with Children was the hottest show around. 

Yep Christy Carlson Romano,I hope I spelled that right,aka Ren Stevens of Even Stevens wanted to shed her good girl image and went topless in this movie.

Yall older folks will remember how a few seasons into Married with Children how there was press all over the place about how Christina Applegate was doing nudity in an upcoming film called Streets. This press helped this tiny low budget Roger Corman movie be a huge home video hit.

And it appears all that hype I saw in 2010 for Mirrors 2,a really bad DTV sequel to a from what I have been told crap original film,was cause a former teen star showed some skin.....

Man this movie just isn't good. Stahl and the rest of the cast appear to be trying their best with what they have. But movie is crap. 

When I see movies this bad I make it a point to see who directed it. So I can IMDB the direcotr and make sure to skip the rest of their filmography. Off to IMDB to look up Victor Garcia.

Ok he did the DTV sequel to 30 days of night,which I have heard was horrible. And I didn't think 30 Days of night was worth a fuck.

Same year he had Return to House on Haunted Hill.The unneeded sequel to a unneeded remake.But this time they got Cabin Fever and Power Rangers star Cerina Vincent.What ever happened to her?

Then some movie titled Artic Predator,which isn't a Predator sequel. It looks like one of those creature features that premieres on SyFy channel on a Saturday night. Mirrors 2 was 2010. His next film is 2011...

Ok yea fuck Victor Garcia. Fuck this shitty movie. Even if you have wanted to see that Disney chick naked you entire life don't torment yourself with this horrible shitstain of a film. Google image the screenshots and prevent having to endure this bottom of the barrel 90 minute film.

Mirrors 2 gets a D-.

31 Days of Horror 2020 Day 10 Pledges

 

TITLE-Pledges

SOURCE-Echo Bridge DVD

I am always on the lookout for cheap horror dvds. With the many Dollar Generals and Family Dollars in my area sometimes being amazing places to find stuff for cheap. But stuff balances out. Sure I have found cheap blu rays/dvds over the last 4 years at the nearby DG,but I have also found stuff like Pledges.....

2 years ago it was late October and I was looking for something new to watch. Dug thru the few cheap dvd bins they had scattered all over the store. Saw the above cover,saw it was Not Rated and 77 minutes. "Hey this might be good." Then saw the price sticker ....$7. That is high for a DTV horror at DG. Still bought it.Got home and somehow this dvd ended up behind my work desk, and was just found a few weeks ago.

Look at that cover. You just know you are gonna get a cheap but bloody slasher from that cover. And cheerleaders. And yea it is cheap and it has cheerleaders.....

A bunch of college kids are stipped to their underwear,tied up and blindfolded. Then dropped off in the woods for Hell Week. Now this looking like a slasher and the premise so far you expect a bunch of nudity. You don't get that.I am still not sure if the lady from the cover is in this movie or not. A killer is out in the woods along with some other college jackasses.

This is horrid. Too much is promised and never given. The acting is bottom of the barrel. The FX work is ok for a cheap budget but still aint worth a crap. And that 77 minutes feels more like 140 minutes.

How come so many modern directors can't make a simple entertaining slasher? For every good one like Hatchet you get 10 bads ones like Pledges. This movie is almost as bad as Vampeggedon or Z.O.M.B.I.E.S.

Avoid this shit unless you somehow have a passion for shitty modern cheap budget slashers with deceptive covers.

Pledges gets a F+

31 Days of Horror Day 30 Fangoria Presents Sin Reaper

TITLE-Sin Reaper
SOURCE-Fangoria Presents DVD

Last year as part of my birthday gifts I was given all the films from the 2010s era Fangoria Presents line. I had never seen any of them. But had seen some films Fangoria released in the late 90s,and those films were crap. Boring with bad FX work and bad acting.

Sin Reaper has a great cover...that is the art I used at the top. Sadly the cover is the best thing about the film. Here is the non-region 1 dvd cover...

Yea it looks so generic.

Samantha has been having horrific nightmares for years now. So her therapist,Lance Henrikson in a tiny role,tells he to goto Germany. Which is the location of most of her dreams.Once she arrives the killer from her dream shows up and starts killing.

Wow that isn't a bad idea. But it is so horribly executed that the film suffers from it. The main actress is suppose to be from the USA but she has a super thick Eastern Europeon accent. Which makes it even odder when another person in the film makes it a point to comment on her accent,"Oh Good,you're American!" WTF

The kills are crap. Like really you got a great costume and weapon for the killer. Looks like something off an 80s era Heavy Metal album cover.

It appears that in other regions this film was released in 3d. But for some reason Fango didn't bother putting out the 3d version in region 1.

It's odd Fango was quick to give shitty movies a bad review. But everything they have "presented" filmwise has been total shit.  So far only the Fangoria Blood Drive series being worth watching.

So avoid this horrible film. Even if it is cheap avoid it. Sure the cover is great. But this is just like those oversized gory as fuck big box vhs releases from when I was a kid. The cover looked amazing then you watched the film and it was a total pile of shit.

Sin Reaper gets a F-.

31 Days of Horror Day 15 Witchcraft 16 Hollywood Coven

TITLE-Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven
SOURCE-TubiTV streaming service

A few years ago I learned that a company had gotten the rights to the Witchcraft franchise and was making a new film. So I waited and waited to hear more news on Witchcraft 14. Then a bombshell piece of news dropped...the new company was going to film 3 Witchcraft films back to back! FUCK YEA we are going to get 3 more subpar horror/softcore porn combo films.

So I kept checking Netflix and all the other places I rented/bought dvds from. And never saw Witchcraft 14 for sale or rent. By early 2019 I had given up on seeing these 3 new Witchcraft films. Not sure why I love this franchise so much. All the films are shit. But still for some unknown reason I feel the need to see and own every film from the series.

Earlier this year I was looking for a new horror film to watch. Looked through the selection on Netflix and Hulu and it was mostly crap. So I started looking at the free streaming services. Hoping maybe one of them might have a hidden gem. Then on TubiTV I saw Witchcraft 16 Hollywood Coven. I figured since the previous films were rarely connected I could watch 16 before seeing 14 and 15 and not be lost...I was wrong.

Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven is set on a low budget horror film set. A crew is making Crystal Force 12.Crystal Force was a attempt by Vista Street to make another franchise like Witchcraft. But we only got 2 Crystal Force films. But in the reality of this film Crystal Force is a long running series.

The film starts off like most of the Witchcraft films since part 10,with a pre-credits sex scene. Yep get to see some boobies and ass before we even know who is in the film. After what feels like 20 minutes of the most boring softcore sex scene I have seen the credits start. They go on FOREVER and feel like who ever created them was a huge fan of the tv shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed.

After the credits the story proper starts. A crew of people is making a low budget horror flick. And somehow by making the film they bring back the spirits of some long dead witches...WHAT THE FUCK! Witchcraft XVI is ripping off the plot of Witchcraft 11. But instead of a communtiy college production of Macbeth we get a low budget film crew making a shitty horror sequel.

Then when I thought the film couldn't be anymore shit they figure out a way to be shittier. Two of the crew members are having a date. So they go to watch Crystal Force 9. And we get footage from Witchcraft 11. And it isn't just say 30 seconds to a minute of  reused footage. Nope we get most of Witchcraft 11's pre credits sex scene. Then it skips ahead to the polterguiest attack scene from near the end of 11. To make this part of the film even more horrid it cuts back to the two crew members watching the film. And the male actor well...he is the worst actor I have seen in low budget horror. No emotion. Very little facial expressions. Plus it appears he is reading his lines off cue cards being held just off camera.

The rest of the film is 5 minutes of plot followed by 10 minute long badly shot and acted softcore sex scenes. The FX work in the non-sex scene parts is bad. I swear we did better FX work back in 92 when I got my first camcorder. Hell we had better actors.

Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven gets a F.

31 Days of Horror Day 03 Madman

TITLE-Madman
SOURCE-The Last Drive on Shudder

In the early 80s there was 2 slasher films based on the Cropsy urban legend.  One of these slashers has become a big cult favorite,mostly cause of the great FX work from Tom Savini. The other is the turd I am covering today...Madman!

I first heard of Madman in 1990. There was an exchange student from the UK at my high school. She was a huge horror fan. And after she discovered I was a big horror fan we would talk most days during lunch. I was telling her about The Burning and she asked if I had seen Madman. I decided I needed to see Madman. So the next Friday I went to 10 video stores. But none of them had the movie. The owner of Video Showboat said she could order me a copy. Sadly back then a copy was 60 bucks. I wasn't gonna spend that much for a film I had never seen.

Skip ahead to 2004. I was using bit torrent to download films. And found Madman on the Tracker 3 site. Since there was very few people seeding the file it took 5 days to download. I got home from a long day at work saw the download was done. Ran the file through a video converter and burnt the resulting file to a dvdr. The next day a few friends came over. We watched Madman...And it sucked. Crap acting ,crap FX And the film just wasn't good.

I had forgotten about Madman until 2010. I had discovered a horror podcast and one of the hosts is a huge Madman fan. Saw that Code Red was putting it out on DVD. Pre ordered it and the day it came in I rushed home from work to watch it. And again was disappointed . The previously mentioned podcast shit all over the Code Red release.  It wasn't until years later that I learned why they shat all over this release.  The podcast host considers himself a horror expert, when really his horror knowledge is limited to mostly mainstream horror films. And the host was made that Code Red didn't want to use the host on the dvd.

Madman is your standard summer camp slasher. If you have seen more than 2 summer camp slashers you know all the tropes. Really the only things about Madman that stands are the theme song,which is the best thing in this pile of shit. And Gaylon Ross,the female lead in the original Dawn of the Dead, appears in Madman. But she uses an alias.  Ms Ross claims she did this because she was a SAG member and Madman wasn't a SAG film. I ,and many others think she used an alias cause she knew the movie was shit.

Honestly if Madman wasn't a part of The Last Drive In with Joe Bob Briggs I wouldn't have bothered watching it again. But Joe Bob can usually make even the worst films worth seeing. In the case of Madman he didn't make this shitstain of a film worth watching. Madman gets a F.

31 Days of Horror Day 18 Satan's Storybook

Title-Satan's Storybook
Source-TubiTV app

While I love modern tech in someways I hate it. Like how I waited until 2004 to finally get a cellphone. And even now 14 years later I still got a fliphone.. Not a smartphone. Hell for years I didn't want a tablet computer. I had a desktop and a laptop and was happy. Then I got a good tablet for cheap and discovered how useful it can be. Kinda nice to have a device that fits in my pocket that is loaded up with piles of books,comics,movies,cartoons and TV shows. Plus cause of it I have discovered all kinds of free streaming services.

Sure every one knows about Netflix and Hulu. But how many of y'all know of TubiTV? It is a free streaming service. Were you get uncut movies and TV shows. The only drawback is about every 30 minutes you will get 2 or 3 thirty second long ads. So not a bad trade off. TubiTV has piles of stuff. And on evenings when it isn't hot I will go sit on  my back porch and find  something to watch on TubiTV.

It was months back I had the house to myself and didn't feel like sitting inside watching whatever crap airs on TV. So I filled up a big glass of iced tea,grabbed my tablet and my dog and I went to sit on the back porch. I was scrolling thru the recently added movies section on TubiTV when I saw Satan's Storybook. I did a double take cause I was sure I had seen the cover before and was sure the blonde on it was a 80s era Ginger Lynn aka Ginger Lynn Allen. I knew the cover and film title sounded familiar but didn't know why. I started up the film and saw that it is a very low budget DTV horror from 1989.

It was about halfway thru the film,during one of the ad breaks,that I realized why I knew the cover. For at least a year maybe more,in Fangoria there would be a quarter page ad advertising this movie. The ad played up the fact that it had the first non-porno role for Ginger Lynn Allen. Who IIRC was dating Charlie Sheen at the time. And the company selling the VHS wanted 29.95 plus shipping for it. Now for years I had seen the ad and wanted to see the movie. But figured I would never get a chance.

I looked online and the movie has so far only gotten a VHS release. Kinda surprised Code Red,Slasher Video or Massacre Video or hell Bleeding Skull hasn't released this on DVD or Blu Ray yet. VHS copies go for stupid prices. I am guessing not that many people bought a copy back in the day.And I never saw it for rent in any video store.

The story is fairly simple. Ginger plays some kind of Angelic ninja. The first scene is Ms Allen dressed up as a white ninja fighting off a bunch of black ninjas. While trying to save a gothic looking lady. We find out the goth lady is Satan's bride. And Ginger is there to stop the wedding so she can prevent the birth of the AntiChrist.

After this we switch to Satan in a throne. He is mad that his woman has been kidnapped. So to cheer him up Hell's jester shows up to tell Satan a few stories. Yep this is a horror anthology.

That is Satan. A guy in a goat mask with furry pants. Whoever made the movie must have gotten some fog machines cheap. Cause everytime we see Satan there is piles of fog.

The first story is "Demon of Death". About a 80s era serial killer. He dresses like your typical late 80s metalhead. And picks names at random out of the phone book. Then goes and kills the person he picked.Then at random he picks a girl who has ESP and her mother is a witch. Our killer gets gunned down but doesn't die. So is put on death row. And we get a trite as fuck twist ending.

The second story is about a drunk ass clown. Who kills himself. After what feels like an hour of boring dialogue we find out the clown is in hell. Yeah this story sucks.

Ginger is wandering around the woods with Satan's bride with her. They get surrounded by a bunch of people in whatever slightly Satanic looking stuff Party City had marked at 70% off the day after Halloween. During this battle Ginger just disappears. And we find out that Satan's bride now doesn't want to have a kid. Cut back to Ginger bathed in red light and surrounded by fog. And she implies that we will get a sequel.

It was more than likely 89 or 90 when I first saw the ad for this movie in Fangoria. And so it has been right at 30 years that I have been wanting to see it. So while it was kick ass I finally got to see a film I had never seen and thought I would never get to see,plus I saw it for free. The movie sucks ass. The only good parts are well Ginger looks great,the goat mask Satan wears is well done and the one evil clown in the second story is actually  a bit scary. Besides that the movie was a waste of 90 or so minutes.

Now if you want to see this pile of shit,and why would you,well I haven't checked to see if it is still on TubiTV. TubiTV has a habit of cycling out stuff at random. You can find the full movie on Youtube.  That way you can watch this minor piece of DTV horror history for free.

Satan's Storybook gets a F.

2017 Comic Challenge 300 A Touch of Silver #01

TITLE-A Touch of Silver #01
PUBLISHER-Image

After hearing about this series for years,plus reading what I think is all of Jim Valentino's Normalman series last year,I have been wanting to try out A Touch of Silver. Going into the comic all I knew was it was semi autobiographical,and that Gary Groth of  The Comics Journal hated it.

Ok I see why Groth hated it. This is Valentino trying his best to pull on every fanboy's heartstrings. Imagine if you took Blankets,another comic I hate,and add the art style of early issues of Hate.You would get A Touch of Silver. It is every "Man it sucked growing up as a comic geek. Everyone hated me" story you have heard or lived through at once.

So sorry Mr Valentino,I have at least enjoyed every other thing of yours I have read. But A Touch of Silver is pure crap.

A Touch of Silver gets a pass. Pass it to a trash can and light it on fire so no one else should have to suffer through this god awful comic.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 22 Halloween Resurrection

Title-Halloween Resurrection
Source-DVD

Yeah I know this movie sucks. But if you have been reading my blog everyday this month you will know I dedicated this years 31 Days of Horror to Brandon Lee,no not the actor. Brandon was the biggest fan of this entry in the long running Halloween franchise I have ever met. And earlier this year he asked me to include it in my annual October horror movie reviews. So Brandon sir,this one is for you.

At the end of H20 Jamie Lee has killed Micheal,by cutting off his head. Well seems that isn't what happened. Somehow Micheal switched places with someone and Jamie killed an innocent man. Not long after this film starts Micheal comes and after 7 entries in his part of this franchise manages to kill his sister.

After that Micheal heads back to Haddonfield. And some stupid TV producer has gotten the amazing idea to set a reality show in the Myers old home.So we get Micheal stalking and killing the annoying types you see on most reality tv shows.

Hell the only reason I own this film is to complete the franchise. I have only watched it 4 times now. The first time was not long after I bought the DVD. Then watched it a second time cause it had a commentary,which is decent. About 2 years ago Brandon asked me to watch it again,and to keep in  mind all the things he loved about the film. I did and still didn't care for the movie. And the final time was so I could do this review. The acting ranges from horrible to OK at best. The FX work is pretty good. Hell it is the best thing about the film.And while I am not a huge fan of the Halloween franchise,honestly I enjoy the first,3rd and 4th films.But I don't hold them in as high a regard as lots of the horror community.

Well Brandon you got me to watch this horrible film again sir. No idea if you even know I wrote this review. But if you do I hope you enjoyed it. You are missed sir.

Halloween Resurrection gets a D-.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Film 04 Cabin Fever Remake

Title-Cabin Fever
Source-VOD rip

Yep I have now watched this shitstain of a film 2 times.Still wondering why the fuck anyone thought we needed a fairly close shot for shot,word for word remake of a film that came out right at 14 years ago.

I figure if you are reading this you know the plot of the original Cabin Fever. All I noticed that was changed was a few scenes happened in different places. And small things like the pancakes kid is wearing a mask in this version. Or Paul has sex with what was Cerina Vincent in the original,this time in the kitchen instead of one of the bedrooms. Also Deputy Winston is now a woman. Yeah that is pretty much the only differences I noticed.

The gore is halfway well done. The acting is not good. And the film is just un-needed.

Cabin Fever remake gets a F+.

2016 Comic Challenge 218 Crossed Badlands #100

TITLE-Crossed Badlands #100
PUBLISHER-Avatar

Yeah I know  I never posted a review of issue 99. Really because while it was good all I had to say about it was what I had been saying for the past few issues. This story seemed to be building up to this big reveal.

Well we don't get that. In this extra long issue there is the normal length story. Then the rest of the issue is piles of Jacen Burrows art.

The issue starts off 13 years after issue 99. Smokey and the human are sitting on a porch. Smokey's two wives show back up with supplies and stuff. It looks like my prediction this being the start of the smart Crossed we are seeing in Crossed +100 is right. Then a few pages later I find out I was wrong. Smokey's kid and wives turn on him. Thinking he is dead after a long fall into a river,the family heads up north. Where a supposed community of humans are. On the final page we see Smokey climbing out of the river. He grabs his ax and I assume he is heading off to kill his family.

Yep after what 5 issues of build up we get a total shitball ending. Nothing is resolved. I figured they would do something much bigger for the final issue of this series. Maybe they wanted it to end like how the original Garth Ennis story ended. Who knows.

Crossed Badlands #100 gets a pass.

2016 Comic Challenge 082 Yakuza #01

TITLE-Yakuza #01

PUBLISHER-Eternity 

After how bad the last comic was I just wanted something to get the stink of that comic out of my brain.So I dug into my longbox full of random comics I have bought cheap and never read. I saw the cover and thought Hey this might be OK. I was so wrong.

The story,what little there is,is crap. The art,even with Jimmy Palmiotti doing the inks,is terrible. The best parts of this comic are the cover and the fucking ads.

Yakuza #01 gets a PASS!

2016 Comic Challenge 081 Injustice:Gods among us Year One #01

TITLE-Injustice Gods Among Us Year One #01
PUBLISHER-DC comics

This was a tie in comic for a DC hero fighting game. So I skipped it. Cause really how good could it be. But then I had someone constantly talking about how great the series was. Plus it is free.

The story is fairly simple. We are a few years in the future. Gotham is free of crime. Thanks to Superman taking over control of the world. And now Batman is gonna stop him.

Up next is a flashback. Were we see Superman finding out Lois is pregnant. And doesn't want her to go on a semi-dangerous assignment. She goes anyway.

From this issue,and I went ahead and read 2 more,what I have been told about the series I see it for what it is. A watered down mash up of Mark Grunwald's Squadron Supreme 12 issue mini,the whole superhero takes over control of the world and the non powered superhero member of the same super team must stop him/them. And Mark Waid Irredeemable.So take those two really good comics. Mash them together. Then water it down so it won't offend anyone. And you get this turd sandwich.

I am gonna be fair and finish reading the rest of Year One of this series. Mostly to see if it gets any better or just gets worse.

Injustice Gods Among Us Year One #01 gets a Pass!

2015 Reading Challenge Book 033 Old Flames by Jack Ketchum

TITLE-Old Flames
AUTHOR-Jack Ketchum
FORMAT-Paperback from Leisure Fiction
FIRST TIME READING-No
COST-$5

Pretty sure this was the 5th Ketchum novel I read. Again I found it at the shitty mall book store. Which is 60% Hallmark cards. And then the  books they do have are all cover price. So when I found this on the long discount table at the front I was damn excited. But after reading it my excitement had dimmed some.

What the novel actually is ,is two novellas. The first one is titled Old Flames. A late 30s woman keeps on thinking about an old boyfriend. Then she sees an advert for Flame Finders. A P.I. that specializes in finding old flames. She tracks down this ex. Finds out he is happily married. And proceeds to destroy his life.When I finished this novella I thought "Fuck this reads like a slight more violent than normal novelization of a Lifetime original movie." About a year later I was listening to a podcast with Mr Ketchum. Where he talked about how Old Flames started off as a script for a made for TV movie. When it didn't sell,which I figure is because first off it isn't that good.Plus it is way more violent than most Lifetime original movies are.He turned the screenplay into a novella.

So after being majorly disappointed in Old Flames I was hoping "Right to Life" would be better. And it was. Right to life is about a woman that is going to have an abortion. She gets kidnapped from in front of the abortion clinic. By a supporter of the Pro-life movement. Who then keeps her chained up in his basement. The plan is him and his wife can't have kids. So they are gonna keep her chained up until she has the kid. Then kill her and raise the kid themselves. Thinking that because she was gonna have an abortion that makes her evil. And they are not doing anything wrong,since their religion tells them that abortion is a horrible sin. Over the course of this fairly short novella,we get to see how mentally unstable the wife and husband are. And we get the normal Ketchum ultra violence. Right to life more than makes up for how bad Old Flames is.

I am tempted to give each novella a separate rating. But I won't. If it wasn't for Right to Life in this book I would have traded it in years ago.

Old Flames gets a 3.55 outta 5. And 3 of that 3.55 is because of Right to Life.

2015 Reading Challenge Book 032 She Wakes by Jack Ketchum

TITLE-She Wakes
AUTHOR-Jack Ketchum
FORMAT-Paperback
FIRST TIME READING-No
COST-$5.98

This was the third novel I read from Mr Ketchum.I was wanting to read more Ketchum and with this being his only novel with supernatural elements I grabbed it while in the shitty ass bookstore in the nearby mall.

Set in modern day Greece. This is the story of some Americans over there. And how one of the guys runs into a gorgeous woman. Who we learn over the course of the novel might be the reincarnated version of an ancient Greek Goddess.

Normally when I read a new to me Ketchum novel I am expecting good writing and lots of gore and graphic violence. Plus plenty of shocking moments. Well She Wakes has violence and gore, But nothing shocking at all. The first time I read the book I kept putting it down cause I was bored with it.Before reading this book and after every other Ketchum book I have read I usually read in 2 or 3 days. This one took me over a week to read. And back then I was working a job where I had at least 8 hours each shift where I would read. On my second reading of the novel it took me almost 3 weeks to read this. I would read a chapter,think "Fuck this book isn't that good." then put it down and not pick it back up for a few days, As normal I give each book 2 chances. After the second chance if I am still not enjoying the book I sell/give away/trade in the book. I am tempted to do that with She Wakes.

She Wakes by Jack Ketchum gets a 1.25 outta 5.