31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 13 Lords of Salem

Title-Lords of Salem
Source-Anchor Bay DVD

Sherri Moon Zombie is a recovering drug addict and a radio DJ. She gets a mysterious package in. In it is an album. After playing the album shit starts to get weird.

This was Rob Zombie's 5th live action film. Which never played anywhere near me so I had to wait on it to hit DVD to see it.It was worth the wait.

The story,which is hard as fuck to figure out,means very little in this film. Inspired by lots of 70s Euro-horror this is a film all about the visuals. Sure there is a story,but it is the visuals that you should be paying attention too.

It shows that Zombie is a big Euro-horror fan. While watching it I was constantly thinking "OK here is his Argento shot,look now it is a Fulci shot. Wait was that a Matei shot?" And I have notice the people that didn't like this film usually are not fans of Euro-horror.

Lords of Salem gets a B+

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 12 Shock'em Dead

Title-Shock'Em Dead
Source-Academy Entertainment VHS

I grabbed this VHS cause I knew the film wasn't out on DVD and I doubted it would hit Blu Ray.Then about a week at the most after I bought the VHS I see that a Blu Ray was getting released. Oh well the tape cost me 50 cents.

Angel is the nerdy guitar player for the band Spastic Kolon. He can't ever get a girl. Then he meets up with the Devil and gets offered a deal. All he has to do is give the Devil his soul and he will become a rock God.

So of course he takes the deal. Then finds out that once he is back on Earth he has to kill someone fairly often to stay alive. Between this and his issues with his old bandmates Angel has his hands full.

Before grabbing this VHS I hadn't seen this movie since it hit VHS in the early 90s. Back then I rented it cause of Traci Lords. This was not long after she left the adult film industry. And as part of her trying to change her image she refused to do any nudity. Doesn't matter there is piles of other women in the film willing to do nudity.

Shock'Em Dead gets a C-.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 11 Silent Night Deadly Night 3 Better Watch Out!

Title-Silent Night Deadly Night 3 Better Watch Out !
Source-IVE VHS

This is the last of the Silent Night Deadly Night franchise to have any connection to the previous films.Ricky survived being shot in the last film. Now he is played by Bill Mosley and has what appears to be a clear plastic salad bowl on his head. But Ricky is in a coma. So is doctor brings in a blind psychic woman. And somehow her presence causes Ricky to come out of his coma.

After a great first film,and a dumb but fun second film,part 3 is a major letdown. It isn't so stupid it is entertaining like part 2. It isn't near as sleazy as the original. The only thing that makes this movie stand out at all is the cast. Besides Bill Mosley as Ricky,you got Robert Culp as a cop. Plus a young Laura Harring in what I think is her first major acting role.

Silent Night Deadly Night 3 Better Watch Out! gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 10 Prom Night 3 The Last Kiss

Title-Prom Night III The Last Kiss
Source-IVE VHS

Sure I own this on DVD,got the pack with parts 3 and 4. But the version of 3 on that pack is the edited for TV version. As far as I know the only way to get Prom Night III unedited is either the above pictured VHS or you will have to track down the hard as hell to find Australian released DVD.

I was surprised to see that this film is actually connected to the second film. Which is a bit odd since part 2 had almost nothing to do with the original.

The film starts off with Mary Lou escaping hell. She goes back to her old high school. And uses her good looks to get a dumb teen to help he hide all the bodies. And there is plenty of bodies cause Mary Lou keeps killing people.

It is obvious that whoever wrote this movie was a fan of the Elm Street series. Like Freddy after part 3,Mary Lou makes horrible jokes after each kill. And the entire film has this dream like feel to it.

So is it worth tracking down the VHS to see this movie the way it was meant to be seen?I saw yes. This is the second best of the Prom Night franchise,with only part 2 being better. Just go in expecting a horror/comedy and you are good.

Prom Night III the Last Kiss gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 09 Bone Chillers Art Intimidates Life

Title-Bone Chillers Art Intimidates Life
Source-Buena Vista Home Video  VHS

This is the other Bone Chillers VHS I mentioned a few days ago. Like the previous VHS  it has 2 full episodes of this short lived and forgotten show.

Art Intimidates Life is the first episode of the series.After quickly setting up the premise of the series it gets right to the plot of this episode.Something has happened and whatever anyone draws comes to life. Which isn't a good thing when you have a student that loves to draw horrible monsters.

Up next is Mummy Dearest. Which is the fifth episode of the series. During the school play our 4 leads have to fight off a mummy. There is some decent makeup FX done on the mummy.

Overall this tape is decent. It isn't as good as the other I reviewed days ago. But still if you find it cheap it is worth grabbing.

Bone Chillers Art Intimidates Life gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 08 Misery

Title-Misery
Source-New Line Home Video VHS

When I hear people talking about how there was no good horror coming out in the 90s until Scream,Misery is one of the first films I mention. Kathy Bates won an Oscar for her role as Annie Wilkes.

Months back I found a semi local store that still has a huge amount of VHS. Most of it seems to come from a few of the now closed local video stores.Plus it seems like I am the only person that comes in looking for VHS. I was trying to kill some time while waiting on someone,so went into the store just figuring I would look around for 20 minutes find nothing and leave. But fairly quick I saw that they must have restocked their VHS shelves. So that 20 minutes of looking around turned into about an hour of digging thru boxes and looking all over shelves for VHS.I had thankfully brought my laptop with me that day. So I went and grabbed it.Pulled up my list of all the movies/tv shows/etc I own and discovered I didn't own Misery. With the cheap prices the store wants for VHS I grabbed it.

Based on one of Stephen Kings best novels,Misery is the story of a writer and his number 1 fan.James Caan plays Paul. A writer who feels trapped. He has a series of best selling romance novels. But he is tired of that genre and wants to branch out. As is his tradition he goes way up in the mountains when he is writing the first draft of a new novel. He finishes the novel and is on his way back to his home when his car goes flying off the road.

When he wakes up he is in a bed. Seems Anne Wilkes,his NUMBER 1 FAN,found him. And  has him at her home until the snow clears enough for her to take him to a doctor.Thankfully she is a nurse so can help him heal.

She ends up reading his newest novel and reacts badly when the lead,Misery,dies. And this is when her evil side comes out. The rest of the movie is a cat and mouse game between our two leads. How far will Anne go to make sure Misery isn't dead? And will Paul ever be able to escape this lunatic's home?

This is one of the movies based on King's novels were I saw the movie first. Really there is only two major changes between the novel and the film. In the novel there is full chapters of the Misery romance novel. Having never read much of that genre I have no idea how well King goes about capturing the feel. To me it read like I expected a romance novel to read. THen the other change. In the film to make sure Paul can't escape,Anne takes a sledgehammer and smashes Paul's ankle in. Were as in the book I am pretty sure she cuts one of his feet off, Then uses a hot iron to cauterize the wound.

Misery is a damn good film. Caan should have been nominated for a best actor Oscar. And in my eyes the film should have gotten nominated also.The look of the film is bleak. It so perfectly captures the feel of being snowed in that even when I watch this during the summer I feel a bit cold.This is also one of the few King films that non-horror fans seem to enjoy.

Misery gets a A.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 07 Bone Chillers Back to School

Title-Bone Chillers Back to School
Source-      VHS

This was a short lived TV series. Airing on ABC Saturday mornings for only one season. At the time I didn't watch it,thinking it was gonna be a bad rip off of the Goosebumps TV show. Years later once I learned that Linda Cardellini was one of the main stars,plus that the show was based on a series of novels,I decided to try to find some episodes.

I searched for years and never saw any rips floating around. After having given up on seeing this show,I was in a junkstore a few towns over from where I live. It was spring and this place had no A/C. The bottom floor was hot,but I took the chance and went up into the upper story. Where it felt like standing in front of a roaring fire. But up there I found the above pictured VHS,another VHS of Bone Chillers,plus 2 WWE VHS. IIRC I paid a buck for each tape.

So enough blabbering on to the review. The series is set at Edgar Allen Poe High. And Linda is one of the four leads. All of whom are freshmen.This tape has episodes 2 and 3 on it.

Episode 2 is titled Teacher Creature. It is based on book 6 of the series. A new teacher at school gets turned into a frog monster after accidentally eating some toxic frog eggs.

Episode 3,Back to School,is the better of the two episodes.This one is based on book 3. Fitz is tired of the horrible cafeteria food. So stops eating it.Then once all his friends start to love the food he knows something is wrong.

From watching these 2 episodes I saw that the show isn't that much like Goosebumps. Sure they are both horror tv shows aimed at pre-teens.But unlike Goosebumps,which was an anthology show,Bone Chillers has the same cast and every episodes is set around Edgar Allen Poe High.

After getting this and another Bone Chillers tape I went looking to see if there was anymore. There is one more that I don't have. Sadly it seems to be a bit more hard to find than these two. Used copies of the two I found sell for 3 or 4 bucks. The one I am missing starts at 15 bucks and sometimes hits as high as 30 bucks.

If anyone knows where to get the rest of the episodes please let me know. If whoever owns this series is reading this,PLEASE RELEASE THIS ON DVD!

Bone Chillers Back to School gets a B+

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 06 Teen Wolf

Title-Teen Wolf
Source-Goodtimes VHS

Yeah I know the film is more comedy than horror,but I watched this movie a few months back for the first time since I am guessing about 1989 and felt like including it as part of the 31 Days of Horror.

Michael J Fox is on his high school basketball team. They  suck and all he wants is to be special. To have something about himself that makes him stand out.

So once he discovers he is a werewolf he becomes the most popular teen in the area. But do the people really like Mr Fox or is it just the novelty of the wolf that keeps people around?

First off I was kind of surprised at what all they got away with since the  film has a PG rating.Pretty sure by the time this movie came out the PG-13 rating existed. Teen Wolf is filled with lots of sexual humor,with Styles' shirts being full of sexual inuendo. There is a few scenes dealing with drug use. Then finally there is the reason why I got this on VHS instead of DVD. In the very last scene as Teen Wolf celebrates his team winning the big game to the left of Mr Fox's head you will see a guy standing there. He has his pants unzipped and his penis is hanging out of his pants. No joke. From what I can find this went unnoticed until sometime in the early 2000s. And every release since then has that scene digitally edited.

Teen Wolf gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror 2016 Day 05 Something Weird Video Extra Weird Sampler

Title-Something Weird Video Extra Weird Sampler
Source-Something Weird Video/Image DVD

I have always enjoy collections of movie trailers. Lots of the time the trailer is better than the film. And growing up seeing stuff like Mad Ron's previews from hell,or whatever that tape was titled,and other collections like them I feel in love with the idea of a tape or DVD jam packed with piles of horror/cult movie trailers.

The above pictured disc has over 100 trailers on it. Which works out to 4 hours IIRC of stuff to watch. I first heard of this collection when IIRC Borders got in a bit of trouble because of it. Image/Something Weird Video made a special edition for Borders,the only difference I know of is that version has the Borders' logo on the front cover in the bottom right corner. The deal was if you bought one Something Weird Video dvd from Borders you would get a copy of this trailer collection for free. Well in some Borders stores if you bought any DVD they gave you a copy of this collection. Well some kid ended up with a copy. And since lots of the trailers on this collection are for R rated or Unrated films the kid's parents raised a stink and Borders just pulled all the copies.

Since I had no Borders near me I ended up buying a copy off Amazon. Brand new it was 4 bucks. Which it was totally worth. Many a nights I have thrown this into my player and fell asleep listening to the various trailers.

Sure not all the trailers are in the best shape. But that doesn't matter to me. Just getting to see trailers for films like Asylum of Satan or Please Don't eat my Mother,which is a softcore porn version of Little Shop of Horrors,is worth having a  few trailers look a little beat up.

Something Weird Video Extra Weird Sampler gets a A+

31 Days of Horror 2016 Film 04 Cabin Fever Remake

Title-Cabin Fever
Source-VOD rip

Yep I have now watched this shitstain of a film 2 times.Still wondering why the fuck anyone thought we needed a fairly close shot for shot,word for word remake of a film that came out right at 14 years ago.

I figure if you are reading this you know the plot of the original Cabin Fever. All I noticed that was changed was a few scenes happened in different places. And small things like the pancakes kid is wearing a mask in this version. Or Paul has sex with what was Cerina Vincent in the original,this time in the kitchen instead of one of the bedrooms. Also Deputy Winston is now a woman. Yeah that is pretty much the only differences I noticed.

The gore is halfway well done. The acting is not good. And the film is just un-needed.

Cabin Fever remake gets a F+.