The Gate Of The Night Issue 4 Flipthru

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 27 The VelociPastor

 

TITLE-VelociPastor

SOURCE-Youtube

This low budget and insane horror/comedy came out in 2018. I heard about it back then and wanted to see it. But forgot about the film. Earlier this year I was making a list of films I wanted to review for 31 days of Horror. For some reason VelociPastor popped up in my head. I used the JustWatch site,a great search engine for streaming services,to see if it was on any of the streaming services I have. It wasn't. I mentioned to my lady how I wanted to see the movie and a few minutes later she sent me a link to it on Youtube.

From the first few minutes of this film we can tell what kind of film we are about to watch. The film opens with a car wreck but we dont see the wreck. Instead we see a sign saying something like INSERT WRECK FOOTAGE HERE! So yea we are gonna get a kinda meta horror/comedy.

Doug is our lead and he sees his parents die in the previously mentioned car wreck. Being depressed Doug travels to China on a spiritual journey. He finds a group of ninjas who have an artifact that they claim will turn people into the Dragon Warrior,no not the uber common NES game.

Doug gets infected by the artifact and this causes him to turn into the VelociPastor of the title.And the rest of the film is full of wackiness. With Doug going around fighting people as this dino ninja.

The budget is 35k. And I kinda doubt it was that high. All the FX work looks really cheap. With lots of the scenes with the VelociPastor looking like something I would see in a mid 90s Sega CD video game. But the acting and the really funny and fun script make up for the lack of budget.

This movie was a pretty decent hit on the festival scene. And a sequel is suppose to happen sometime soon.

If you enjoy low budget horror and dumb as a rock comedy this is a movie worth tracking down. Just know going into the film that you are watching a movie that costs less than the catering on any of the big blockbuster movies you have seen in the past 20 years.

The VelociPastor gets a A.

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 26 Inferno

 

TITLE-Inferno

SOURCE-Airing on Starz

Usually once a week I will go thru the Dish Network guide and see what films are airing late at night on Starz,Encore and TMC. Sometimes I will find stuff I have been wanting to see for years so will set the DVR. It was back in early summer that I saw Starz was airing Dario Argento's second installment in the Three Mothers series of films. Then Inferno sat on the DVR for months before I took the time to watch it. Mostly cause there is only one TV in the house with the DVR and I get maybe 6 hours a week to watch stuff off that. Because that TV is in the living room and is usually being used by the others I share my house with.

Released in 1980 until the late 90s this was one of the harder to find Dario Argento films. It rarely aired on TV. It had a very limited theatrical release. And it's lone VHS release,on Key Video,was hard to find. 

Which made Inferno a film that I heard a bunch about for years. For years I would read about how this was a somewhat sequel to Suspiria. And how it had amazing visuals and sound work. Being a huge Argento fan,I had seen Suspiria and the US edited version of Creepers,I just had to see Inferno.

 It was at Coast Con in 1993 that I got my first chance to see the film. Like most cons back then there was a dealer with a table full of grey market/bootleg VHS. You know the guy that would have a table full of laserdisc rips on VHS. The guy that would sell ya a 10 generation dupe of the Star Wars Holiday Special for 30 bucks. Well this dealer was a guy who the year before I had bought a few tapes off of. I asked him if he had Inferno and got told not only did he have it but he had a letterboxed version that was uncut and from a Japanese Laserdisc. Back in those days Japanese Laserdisc rips were considered top of the line. I asked him how much,cause he never had prices on his tapes. Got told it was 35 bucks. Checked my wallet and I had 25 bucks in it. So I told him I would be back. Ran out to my car and drove super fast to the nearest branch of my bank and got money out of the ATM. Get back to the con and learn the dealer had sold the tape while I was gone. He offered "well tell ya what kid how about you give me the 35 bucks and your address and once I get home I will make ya a copy and mail it to you." I didn't do it. Mostly cause I was sure he would just take my money and not mail me the tape.

So it wasn't until Inferno got a region 1 DVD release that I got a chance to see it. The day that DVD came out I went to Best Buy on my lunch break and bought it. I think it was 35 bucks. And the next 4 hours at work felt like 12 hours. As soon as I got home I put the DVD in and watched Inferno. And felt let down. Maybe it was cause I had been hyping the movie up for close to 20 years in my head. Doesn't matter I was mad that this movie I had been wanting to see forever and one that I had been told by many people was great wasn't catching my attention.

Skip ahead to 2012 I was introducing my lady to Dario Argento. Before then all she had seen from Argento was his Phantom of the Opera film. After watching Suspiria she wanted to watch Inferno. I warned her that the film was disappointing. But she didn't care. We watched it and this time the movie worked for me. I loved the movie now. And as soon as we finished watching it I got her to drive me to a nearby movie store and bought a copy of Mother of Tears,which is the third film in the Three Mothers series.

A poet living in NYC buys a book from an rare book dealer. This book tells the story of the Three Mothers. One of whom we saw in Suspiria. And another,Mater Tenebrarum AKA the Mother of Darkness is living in NYC. And the poet is pretty sure she is living in the same building Mater Tenebrarum lives in.Following clues in the book the poet tries to find Mater Tenebrarum and sends a letter to her brother ,who lives in Rome where another of the mothers lives.

While not the most compelling plot in an Argento film,the visuals and sound in this movie are some of Argento's best. Plus the second unit stuff was directed by Mario Bava. Who is another great Italian director.

It wasn't until 2007 that Argento managed to get the third and final film in this series out. Mother of Tears is that film. And it is a film that either you love or you hate. I love it. But also understand why people would hate it.

If you like Argento's films and enjoy Italian horror cinema Inferno is a film you must see. And I'm glad that I didn't get to see it until DVD. Cause I bet seeing this on a shitty VHS dub would have hurt my enjoyment of the film. 

Inferno gets a B.

Song of Soloman Blu Ray Showcase

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 25 Killer High

 

TITLE-Killer High

SOURCE-Uncork'd DVD

So last year for Christmas my pretty much mother in law bought me a stack of DVDs she had found at a Dollar General near her home. She knows I'm a huge horror fan. And thought this movie is one of the DVDs she bought me.

Well the DVD got thrown into the unwatched DVD pile and sat there for months. Then earlier today I was looking for a horror film to watch. Saw this and figured hell I will take a chance on it. So went out to my pier and put the DVD into my laptop. 

Made in 2018 and from what I can find premiered in 2019 on the SYFY Channel this is a modern attempt at starting a slasher franchise. In a small town that is almost a ghost town a young lady is planning her 10 year high school reunion. After the hotel she was going to have the reunion at closes she has no choice but to host the reunion at the now abandoned high school. 

At this school someone is wearing the school's mascot outfit,the Wallingham Warthog,and going around the reunion killing people.  So now our lead,Sabrina Swanson played by Kacey Rohl,not only has to deal with all the issues of having a reunion at a building that is falling apart,but she also must deal with there being a killer on the loose.

This film treads a fine line between being a spoof and being serious. In that way it reminds me of films like Waxworks or Evil toons. For being a slasher film the gore levels are not that high. I'm betting when this airs on SYFY they don't have to edit out much.

So if you are a fan of slashers and aren't one of those slasher fans that takes the slasher genre super serious,you know the kind of fan  that seem to think that films like Madman or the Forest are legit good films,this is worth tracking down and seeing. As of right now Killer High isn't streaming on any of the major streaming services in the US. But I have seen the DVD for sale cheap in many Dollar General stores.

Killer High gets a C-.

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 24 Trophy Heads

 

TITLE-Trophy Heads

SOURCE-Full Moon DVD

Now I have been into the films from Full Moon since I saw Puppet Master for rent at a video store 30 years ago. But over the last 10 years I kind of lost touch with Full Moon. So when in 2014 Full Moon did Trophy Heads as a tv show on their streaming service I didn't hear about it. 

It wasn't until sometime early this year that I learned the movie existed. CodyLL,who is better known to people that watch the Asshat Podcast youtube channel,was telling me about the movie. And once he mentioned Jaqueline Lovell was in the film I had to see it. Thankfully Cody isn't a Full Moon fan,so he offered to throw the Trophy Heads DVD into the next package he was going to mail me.The package came in and the DVDs in it got added to the ever growing DVD watch pile.

Back in the end of spring I had taken to sitting out on my pier after dinner. I would sit down there and watch DVDs on my laptop as I edited video footage. Usually I was watching DVDs of stuff I had never seen. And one of those evenings I watched Trophy Heads and LOVED IT!

A middle age horror fan,who lives in the basement of his mother's home,has started kidnapping the famous Scream Queens of the 80s thru 90s. He makes them stay in jail cells he has in his home. Then one by one the Scream Queens are made to act in recreations of some of their most famous scenes. Once the Scream Queens are dead our Incelish lead male mounts their heads on his wall.

Now I figured going into this that it's start as a original series for Full Moon's streaming service and the low budget would produce a boring unfunny unscary horror/comedy from Full Moon. One that barely runs 70 minutes and that is with 12 minutes of credits. Sure the origin of this as a series of short films is obvious when you watch the movie. And the low budget hurts some of the scenes. But every member of the cast is having a blast and this energy shines through.

Speaking of the cast,Charles Band got a great cast. Most of whom I'm pretty sure have worked on Full Moon films before. All the Scream Queens are playing slightly fictionalized versions of themselves.

Brinke Stevens,my favorite of the 80s/90s era Scream Queens,is supposedly a massage therapist. Ms Stevens has always been great at comedy and in Trophy Heads she gets some of the best lines and scenes. Pretty sure Brinke's film Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity was a Full Moon movie.

Up next on the Scream Queen front is Darcy DeMoss. I had to look her up and even then still only thing I knew her from was Friday the 13th Part 6. She plays Nikki in that classic. Appears this is her first Full Moon film.

The 3rd Scream Queen is the main reason I wanted to see this film,that is Jacqueline Lovell. I first saw Ms Lovell in Full Moon's Head of the Family. She was great in that and all the other B-movies I saw her in for about a 15 year period. Then she just disappeared. I had heard rumors of her getting married. And now that she was ashamed of her b-movie past,plus she wasn't happy about her stint in softcore porn as Sara St James. First off Jacqueline looks exactly the same as she did in the last film I saw her in 15 years ago. And I looked her up. Appears I was partially right. She did stop acting after she got married and had her first kid. But saw no proof that she was ashamed of the films she did in her past.

Ya can't have a Scream Queen reunion style film without Linnea Quigley. AFAIK Linnea has never been in a Full Moon film before. Sure early in her career she was in Fairy Tales. But that film was made 10 years at least before Full Moon existed. But it did have Charles Band as the director.  Shit I forgot Linnea  was in Sorority Babes in the SlimeBall Bowl-a-rama film.Linnea is great in this cause she is playing herself,but now she is a hardcore Christian. Who goes around knocking on doors and trying to convert people to the ways of Jesus.

Michelle Bauer completes the infamous trio of 80s Scream Queens,her and Brinke and Linnea were the best known of that era's Scream Queens. Michelle has always shown that she has a good sense of comedic timing. And is given the chance to really show that skill off in this film. As a Full Moon connection Ms Bauer was also in Sorority Babes in the SlimeBall Bowl-A-Rama with Linnea and Brinke Stevens.

And our final Scream Queen is Denice Duff. I didn't know who she was when I saw her. The name sounded a bit familiar but I had no clue what I knew her from. Looked her up and she was in Full Moon's SubSpecies series of films. I was never a big fan of that series of films from Full Moon. But Denice is decent in this movie.

Adam Roberts and Maria Olsen are both excellent as the horror fan and his mother. Olsen is so good as the Mom who is doing all she can to help her grown Man Child kidnap and then kill these Scream Queens.

Now sure if you didn't grow up watching all the films these Scream Queens were in I don't know how much appeal this movie will have for you. But if you were one of us that was renting stuff like Nightmare Sisters and Creepazoid from the video store Trophy Heads is worth seeing.

Trophy Heads gets  a B-.

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 23 Sorority Row

 

TITLE-Sorority Row

SOURCE-Summit Entertainment DVD

I remember hearing in 2008 that a remake of House on Sorority Row was being remade. Not being much of a fan of the original,and sadly how in 2009 when this remake was released the habit of horror films being cut to PG 13 for theatrical release,and getting an UNCUT/R Rated cut release on DVD,I skipped this movie. In the over 10 years since the film came out I rarely heard anyone ever say they saw it. I just assumed it was another of the many remakes that came out and was not worth even renting.

Skip ahead to last summer. One of the local pawn shops had an overstock of DVDs/Blu Rays. I walked in and the owner let me know that if I bought at least 20 dvds they were 2 for a buck. I dug thru the shelves and bins and found 17 DVDs I wanted. So started looking for 3 more to get to the magical number of 20. Saw Sorority Row and took a chance on it.

And like lots of films I buy the DVD got put into a box and forgotten about. Then I found the box a week ago. Was digging in it,mostly trying to find a dvd to watch while I sat out on my pier doing a bit of video editing work. Figured I would put the film on and halfway listen to it. So I was surprised when 10 minutes into the film I was hooked and gave it my full attention.

A sorority sister gets 5 of her fellow members to help her pull a prank on her boyfriend and one of the sister's brothers. They convince the guys that one of the sisters is dead. They load the "body" up into a van and are planning on driving out to the middle of nowhere and throw the body into a lake. 

When they get to the body of water someone mentions how they gotta get the last of the air out of the dead body's lungs so it won't float to the top of the lake.  So the brother grabs a tire iron and stabs the "dead body" thru the chest. Which of course actually kills her.  The sorority sisters and the two guys dispose of the body and swear to never talk about this.

A year later the sisters start to get odd texts. Yep this is another variant on I Know What You Did Last Summer. I saw this and was thinking that I was gonna not enjoy this film. But I was shocked cause the cast and the FX work kept my attention.

So the cast....of the 6 main females in the film I knew who 4 of them were. You had Greg Evigan;s daughter Briana as Cassidy. Rumer Willis as nerdy sorority sister Ellie.Jamie Chung as the airhead Clarie. And finally the one that it took me most of the film to realize why I thought she looked familiar. Margo Harshman plays Chugs. It is Chug's brother that kills the "Dead" sister. And Margo I knew from being one the main cast on the Disney Channel sitcom Even Stevens. Plus who can forget the late Carrie Fisher as the house mother. Carrie is great in this part and really appears to being having a blast in the role.

The kills are all pretty well done. The best being Chug's death. Where she has a bottle of wine shoved down her throat and chokes on the liquid. I was really surprised at how graphic and gory the deaths are. Sorority Row is a throwback to the 80s slashers. In that we get piles of gory deaths and a decent amount of nudity.

So if you haven't seen the movie and it is streaming/airing on a service you have. Or you find it on home media for 5 bucks or less,give Sorority Row a watch.

Sorority Row gets a C+

Fangoria Issue 175 Flipthru

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 22 Class of 1984

 

TITLE-Class of 1984

SOURCE-Airing on Joe Bob's Last Drive In

Yea you can argue this isn't horror. But if it counts as horror for Joe Bob Briggs that works for me.

Set in a high school,that in many ways reminds me of the school I went to for 9th grade,in 1984 this was one of the many high school from Hell films to come out between the mid 70s and late 80s.Written by Tom Holland the film ended up being a bigger hit than expected and ended up getting a sequel,Class of 1999.

When this came out the two biggest names in the cast were Perry King,on the left in the above picture. And Roddy McDowell,on the right. Perry plays the new music/band teacher at a run down graphitti covered high school. McDowell is a science teacher that has been there for years.

The film starts on Perry's first day. We are supposed to be shocked by scenes of the students smoking pot out in the open,having to go through a metal detector at the front door. And I'm sure back in 81 when this came out that was a bit shocking to lots of the people seeing the film. Sadly now it isn't nearly as shocking. 

McDowell,who carries a gun in his briefcase,tries to tell King that there is nothing they can do. But King wants to change the school. He gets introduced to the gang of street punks that run the school during his first band class of the day. 

In this class is a 15 year old looking Michael Fox,no J yet in his name. I looked and Fox was close to 20 if not a bit older when this was filmed. This was before he got the lead on Family Ties. 

The film is mostly King and McDowell,eventually,trying to get the street punk kids kicked out. But every time King thinks he has them caught the punks get out of trouble. Finally King and McDowell go so far that the street punks go and kidnap King's pregnant wife. 

Which leads to the last 3rd of the film. King is having the school band perform at a concert at the school at night. But before he can start the female member of the street punks delivers a Poloroid of the rest of the gang raping King's wife. King goes after them and we get him killing them in fairly violent ways all through out the school. The best kill is in the woodshop room. Where King uses a table saw to first cut the arm off one of the punks. Then since that isn't enough he shoves the punk down back first onto the running blade.

We end up on the room of the school. King vs the lead punk near a skylight. The punk had planned on hanging King's wife and throwing her through the skylight so that her body would drop down right above where the school band is playing. King of course prevents this and the lead street punk ends up being the one hung and tossed through the skylight.

Now before watching this all I knew Perry King for was Mandingo and the 80s detective show Riptide. He does a great job as our heroic lead. Roddy McDowell of course I've seen in piles of movies. And you believe him as the long time teacher who finally can't take the bullshit anymore. Michael Fox is decent as the band geek. 

Overall this was pretty damn good. I have seen bits of it before. But had never bothered seeing the entire film. So when Joe Bob was showing it as the second film of week 2 of season 3 of Joe Bob's Last Drive In on Shudder I watched it live. It is rare I watch Joe Bob live. 

Class of 1984 gets a B+

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