Howdy Folks

 Yea I know nothing up here in weeks. I mentioned ,I think I did,months ago how I had started going to more indie wrestling events.

Learned back in spring that  a local indie wrestler lives not far from me. And he passes by my home going to most events. 

So now most Saturdays instead of staying home having a movie night I am in a car heading all over the south.

Anyways if you want something every week from me. Head to Youtube. Search for Asshat Podcast,there is two I am the one that doesn't have a donkey wearing a hat as the avatar. Every Monday,Wednesday and Friday a video appears.

Mad magazine flipthru

 

Hobie Hanson Book 1-13 Ways to Sink a Sub by Jamie Gilson

 

TITLE-13 Ways to Sink a Sub

AUTHOR-Jamie Gilson

Back when I was in 4th grade I grabbed a book at the 3 times a year school held Scholastic Book Faire. I learned after reading this book,the first time since I had went from  books like Sweet Pickles and Dr Seuss to what I considered at the time grown up books I read an entire book in one day,that 4b Goes Wild was book 2 in what was planned to be a continuing series of books. I took a piece of notebook paper wrote down not only the title of book 1,which is the book pictured above,but also the other books from the same author. 

Months later,my brain says it was summer ,at a used book store over in Gulfport while waiting on my mother and grandmother to finish trading in their books I found 13 Ways to Sink a Sub,with the same cover as the one pictured above. I grabbed it off the shelf. Walked up to the big register at the front of the store,where my Grannie was arguing with the owner over if they were gonna take some books Grannie was trying to trade in,showed the lady at the register the book. Since books were half off cover price I handed her a 5,got my change and told my mother I was gonna go sit outside in the car and read.

From then until 6 hours later I read that book. And loved it even more than 4b Goes Wild,which by this time I had read a few times. I made myself a mental note to keep looking for more books by Jamie Gilson.

Back in 2020 or 2021 I wanted to re-read 13 Ways to Sink a Sub. Looked and Amazon had a newer printing with the above cover cheap. Like a buck plus 3 for shipping. But like what happens lots of time between when I get the book in and I finish whatever I am reading ,the 13 Ways book got put in a box and buried. Found it about 3 months ago. And put it in the reading room. 

Before I get into the plot of the book. I want to talk about how much the copy I have well the cover sucks. Look at that image. A chalkboard,which were phased out of schools before I hit 12th grade in the early 90s. A paper airplae and that is it. Look up top at that cover I had on my original copy. You see two kids and a lady,who I assumed was the Sub and turns out is. Plus that older copy had great art every chapter or so. The copy I got now no ART!!. Plus since I got the next 6 books in this series in hardcover I want my copy of 13 ways to be a hardcover with the art on the inside included.

Ok so the plot. 

Hobie Hanson is our lead,his best friend is his neighbor Nick Rossi. They are in 4th grade,in 4b class. Mr Starr is their teacher. A strict but fair guy. One day during recess,where the SPIT PIT is introduced,the boys during a game of kick ball are talking about how one of their older brothers had a subsitute teacher not long ago. And they "sunk the sub" aka made her cry. But they doubt they will get a chance to sink a sub,causse Mr Starr is never sick.

The Spit Pit is a staircase near the  field they play kickball in. When going back inside after recess the kids line up on the staircase near the spit pit and well Spit in it. Also lots of trash from the field blows up into the spit pit. When playing kick ball if  a ball gets kicked into the spit pit all points scored off it arre doubled.

After a school report on China that doesn't go as planned,where Nick and Hobie got paired up with 4th grade boss girl Molly Bosco and her lackey Lisa Soloman,Mr Starr has to rush out of the room and goes home cause he is sick. 

The school principal comes in and takes over the class for the last hour of school. But lets 4b know Mr Starr is very sick and will not be there the next day.

With all the kids now knowing they will have a sub the next day it becomes a bet. Who will sink the sub? The Boys or the Girls? Losers have to go fetch any ball kicked,during a game of kick ball,into the spit pit for the rest of the school year.

Nick,Hobie R.X Shea and Marshall while heading home plot out ways to sink the sub. And while we aren't told about it I am betting Molly and the girls are doing hte same.

Next day they meet their Sub,A student teacher who is about to graduate. Ms Svetlana Ivanovitch,who comes off as a bit of a free spirit/80s era child of the hippies. She messes up and lets the kids know she has never been a sub before. 

The game is on. And the only rules are no one can rat out another student. For example during roll call Lisa answers to Molly's name and Molly answers to Lisa's name,No clue why Molly thought this might make the sub cry.Anyways no one is allowed to tell Ms ivanovitch they are lying. And rule 2 no physical attacks on the sub.

The rest of the book is the boys and the girls trying to make this sub cry. Molly keeping score on the chalkboard,which is not great cause Molly is of course biased against the boys.

Finally they do Sink the Sub. Earlier when they were going to gym,where they square dance and Nick spins someone too fast causing them to fly off and knock Ms Svetlana Ivanovitch over,one of the guys had plugged up the sink in the back of the room and left the faucet running. 

When they get back to the room of course it is a flooded mess. Ms Ivanovitch stomps off mad. The kids realizing they might be in deep trouble start to try to clean it up. One of the boys takes a pile of paper towels that are sopping wet and says screw it and  throws them hard against the ceiling. All of us that grew up when  schools had those tile ceiling know wet paper sticks to that like concrete.

The door to the class room opens up and it is Svetlana ,armmed with mops and cleaning supplies. She tells the kids how she should have caught on earlier that they aren't babies and apologizes to them for treating them like young kids. 

The kids are all now really feeling like crap.The door flies open again  and now it is Molly' Grandma and the principal. The impact of the door flying  open and hitting the wall causes the wet clump of paper towels stuck to the ceiling to fall. They land on Ms Ivanovitch's head. She starts laughing so hard that she is crying. WINNER THE BOYS!

Sure this isn't a kids book that is some big awards winner. It isn't even one that is well remembered. But when I was 9 this was my favorite book. And going  back and re-reading it was a blast,even  if my new copy is missing the interior art.

I mentioned earlier owning the other 6 books in the series in hardcover. All of which I got used and all over which are ex library copies. Many of them being from school libraries. Once I discovered there was at least 2 in the run I hadn't read and how cheap I could get them I had to .

As of the writing of this I have read the first 5 in this run.

1.Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub

2.4B Goes Wild

3.Hobie Hanson You're Weird

4.Double Dog Dare

5.Hobie Hanson Greatest Hero of the Mall

I am in the process of reading book 6. 

These books are very much  set in the era they were written,which is mid 80s thru mid 90s. I do wonder how a modern kid would enjoy these. Cause so much stuff that is common place to modern kids is absent from these books. Very little mention of TV. Computers are something that get a passing mention in later books. And  video games are not mentioned at all.

Thinking about doing written reviews of each of the books. No idea when the  next will go up.

90s Comic Boom and why did Valiant Comics fail to expand into other media

 Oh we all remember the 90s comic boom. From 90 until 96 or 97 comic books were hot. Some of the best selling comics of all time are from that era. That Death of Superman comic that everybody bought  thinking it would be worth big bucks...it is from this era.

What also happened is for the first time really since the 70s companies besides Marvel and DC managed to created shared superhero universes that not only succeeded but almost all of them got chances to put out movies/tv shows/cartoons/video games and/or toys. 

For years I have wondered why stuff like Ultraverse,Comics Greatest World and Image managed to get other media,but Valiant(who were huge for a good chunk of this era) got no other media to many years after the comic boom era.

Now sure most remember that for Image you had that 1 season CBS aired Saturday Morning WildCats cartoon. Which isn't bad. And quite a few remember that MTV aired The Maxx cartoon,that got what 2 seasons? Savage Dragon even had a 2 season long cartoon on USA Network. Then the big one Spawn... Spawn had the HBO cartoon that was 3 seasons. Then the live action movie. Then after 97 Image had blown up. From hits that everyone knows like The Walking Dead and Invincible. To the forgotten stuff like the live action Witchblade tv show.

Plus Image had action figures,Not just the stuff from Todd. There was Cyberforce mini metal figures and IIRC Youngblood had those plus some bendies.

Ultraverse had the UltraForce cartoon,that I think aired on USA Network. Which also had a toyline. Plus there was a Prime Sega CD game. But how many remember that Nightman got a 2 season live action syndicated drama show? Yea Nightman had a tv show. That supposedly did well in ratings but was cancelled cause Marvel bought Malibu,parent corp of Ultraverse,and canned the show ot save money.

Now I am sure a few of yall are going ok asshat what is Comic's Greatest World's other media? Hell a few are trying to remember Comic's Greatest World. 

It was a Dark Horse imprint. Started off with a weekly mini series. Each issue was a buck. 12 issues total. With each month focuses on one city in this world. 

CGW was kind of a bust. Sure a few of the heroes introduced in that first mini series went on to have their own series. X and Ghost are two that did that and are even still used off and on by Dark Horse. But who remembers Barb Wire? Blonde bounty hunter lady that rides a motorcycle. Lives in Steel Harbor,a run down industrial town now full of street gangs with super powers. Ok yea a few of yall remember her. 

How many remember there was a big budget Barb Wire movie? One that was expected to be a huge hit.  Costing 9 million to make the film made a tiny bit under 4 million.

Why was this expected to be a big hit? Coming out almost 3 years after Barb Wire first appeared. Coming out when the Barb Wire solo comic was already cancelled. Cause as Barb Wire Pamela Anderson was cast. And in 96 she was a huge star.

So Valiant. Odd they never went outside of comics until after they were sold to a video game company. As far as I can find there is no Valiant cartoons,toys,movies,pretty much anything that aint trading cards,posters,comics and the Armstrong Ale.

No real idea why. Valiant was ran ,after booting Jim Shooter,by a guy with ties to the music industry. And at their peak a Valiant cartoon or toy line would have sold pretty good. A X-O Manowar video game would have been a hit. 

But nothing. Nothing at all until Acclaim took over. And there is piles of people that only know of Turok cause of the N64 games.

Well hope yall enjoyed that. Was just something going thru my head for months now. 

re was I in March?!?!?!

 Normally I make sure there is at least one thing up on the old blog here every month. March was different. 

Yall that been reading this blog long enough will remember how I use to do long written reviews for the indie wrestling shows I was going to and taking pictures/shooting video.

Most months I hit up at least 1 show and sometimes 2 or 3. December was no shows,January no shows,Feb no shows. Then March. First Saturday in  March was BIW in the nearest town to me. Was a fun show.Second Saturday in March I rode down to Ocean Spring MS for a AWA Pro show. First time going to AWA pro and had fun. 3rd Saturday was BIW again but this time in West Monroe LA for hte Cassidey Riley Retirement show. Then the 4th Saturday in the month was Richland MS for night 2 of Battlezone's Widowfest event. Followed up the following Thursday with SWA in Summitt Mississippi.

And it wasn't just the wrestling that kept me busy. I take care of my elderly parents. 

March 1st Dad went into the hospital to have his heart valve replaced. March 2nd they installed a pacemaker. Released him the next day. The day after being released he went to the BIW event I mentioned in the near by town. Sunday he slept in felt great.

1am Monday he woke up feeling ill. At 5am I rushed him to the nearby hospital. Where after 2 hours they took him to the bigger hospital north of us. A few days lateer they removed his gall bladder. He is 79 this fall and had 3 surgeries in 9 days. 

Normally he takes care of cooking dinner and a few other  things around the house. For most of March I did everything. 

Now Dad is healed up now. Matter of fact that SWA event I mentioned He attended that one and had a blast.

I will try to have something else up here in April. 

Hell-Rider Issue #1 70s wacky b/w biker comics from Skywald

 

TITLE-Hell Rider issue #01

PUBLISHER-Skywald

Look at that cover! If I had seen that cover when it came out I am sure I would have  spent the 60 cents it was priced at. But I wasn't even born when this title came out.

Bit of history,Skywald was one of the many companies that in the 70s tried to take the success Warren had with Creepy,Eerie and Vampi and make their own  series of magazine sized,b/w art comics. Stuff that cause of the size of the publication fell outside the tight regulations of the Comics Code Authority. Skywald is best remembered for their 3 horror mags,Scream/Nightmare/Psycho. 

In 71 Skywald published the first of what was a 2 issue run for Hell-Rider. And like all the other magazine sized Skywald comics Hell-Rider wasn't properly copyrighted. I think they didn't the proper notice in the published comics,but no matter what the issue is it means all those Skywald b/w magazines are public domain. So you can goto places like comicbookplus and download legally scans of all the Skywald stuff. Also means a company like Gwandanaland Comics can  published a TPB collecting both issues. While I am using jpgs from the scan of Hell-Rider issue 1 I got from Comicbookplus for this review,I read the TPB that I got almost 3 years ago. Back when Gwandanaland published all their TPB and hardcover collections of Public Domain comics through Amazon's print on demand service. Something happened in 2022,near the end of the year,and Gwandanaland left Amazon and is now selling their stuff through Barnes&Noble online. So if you are interested in Hell-Rider 1 you can either go download the scan LEGALLY FOR FREE at Comicbookplus. Or if you want a physical copy google "Gwandanaland Comics"+"Hell Rider" that should get you to the proper page at the B&N website.

Who is Hell Rider? He is just your average child of a well off family.  Our titular lead doesn't want to work for his father. So he takes some inheritance and moves to the west coast. While there in a rough bar Hell Rider meets a group of bikers known as the Wild Bunch. Once he impresses the Wild Bunch,Hell Rider buys a motorcycle and lives the life of a biker for a bit.

Brick ,Hell Rider's real name,gets drafted and goes for a tour in Nam.After being injured in the Vietnam War our lead gets injected with an experimental drug. Every day for a year  Hell Rider gets shot up with this drug then spends most of his day working out. 

Brick has gained super strength and other abilities from this drug. What other abilities are not really spelled out in this first issue. And we learn that Hell Rider's powers can just fade out without a warning. They always come back after some time. 

Like how this is to show us that while Brick isn't a total clean cut hero like we were use to in comics back in the early 70s,he was still a good dude. Plus love how that last panel looks. Tempted to take that panel and use it for some art projects I am working on.

Reconnecting with a friend in the music business,Brick waits as she goes back to her dressing room at a club. Where she finds our bad guys, in black hoods with metal claws,trying to get a pair of boots the singer owns.  The Claw gang wants these boots cause between the inside lining of the boots is a pile of heroin.The lady singer has sent the boots to her friend,Marian Michaels who works in Las Vegas.

I want to point out that there is a lot of drug references in this comic. Proving that it wouldn't have gotten that CCA stamp on the cover. Also a few times in the comic a drug like pot isn't as demonized as a harder drug like Heroin is.

Brick on his chopper follows the Claw gang as they leave with his singer friend. He thinks he is being sneaky. He isn't and takes a gun butt to the back of the head and is knocked out. Waking up the next morning to find his friend gone and a note.

With the first chapter in this comic done we see the birth of Hell-Rider. 

Chapter 2 introduces us to The Butterfly. Now I might be wrong on this. The research I have done seems to prove my theory about The Butterfly being the first Black female superhero to be true.

The Butterfly is really Las Vegas singer Marian Michaels. Marian finishes her song and the crowd loves it. 

Back in her dressing room our old friends The Claw gang are there. Looking for the boots from chapter 1.

Ms Michaels gets past the Claw hoods,and flips the light switch. Filling the room with darkness. So she  can changed into her Butterfly outfit. Which she uses to blind the Claw Gang. From what the Butterfly says I am guessing her suit can make a  light so bright it will cause permanent blindness.

The Claw Gang leaves with the boots. And Butterfly flies after them. We learn that she flies thanks to a rocket on her back. Noticing her fuel is low,and as a way to intro another of her abilities,Butterfly swoops in low and with the suction cups on the tips of each finger attaches herself to the roof of the Claw Gang's getaway car.

With not much fuel Butterfly has to decide if she will follow the helicopter or make it back to Las Vegas. She  decides to follow the chopper.

Yea low on fuel she fights her way into the chopper. To try to get these boots back.

Butterfly beats up the Claw Gang,gets her boots back and leaves a message with the chopper pilot. 

She tries to fly back to Vegas but runs out of fuel. Safely landing. Marian thankfully had stored her stage clothes in her pack. She changes back into them and wonders if there will be anyone on this lonely desert road that will give her a ride back to Las Vegas.

The Wild Bunch biker gang from the first chapter appear again. They want to see their friend Marian. She is gone. With her missing they are heading to see their friend Brick. And who do the Bunch find on the side of the road Butterfly aka Marian. The lady member of the Wild Bunch takes Marian and heads back to Vegas. While the rest of the gang take the boots and head off to Brick's home. End of Chapter 2.

Chapter 3 starts off with that great splash page of the Wild Bunch in a big fight. That splash and the next  2 pages lets us know a bit about each member of the gang. Then we cut to present time. Wild Bunch is  heading from Vegas to LA. Tasked with safely bringing the boots to Brick aka Hell-Rider.

The guys pull over to the side of the road for a quick rest. A big black fancy car passes them and cut to the inside of the car. Guess who is in the back seat? The leader of the Claw Gang. And the leader happens to notice that on the back of one of the Wild Bunch's bikes is the boots that the Claw Gang wants to badly. So the car stops and we get a big brawl between Claw thugs and the Wild bunch.

Yep the leader of the Claw gang has an extending metal cyborg arm. Which is limited to 6 feet!! And for what feels like the 100th time in this comic those blasted boots change hands. 

The Wild Bunch catches up with the car and stops it. But the leader calls in for backup and a pile of helicopters show up. They drop a big net and every Wild Bunch member,besides Slinker,gets caught  in the net. Slinker on the other hand gets the boots and hauls ass.

Now on his own  Slinker heads back to Vegas to bring the boots back to Marian. The  rest of the male members of the Wild Bunch are held on the Claw Compound and chapter 3 ends.

Chapter 4 starts with Hell-Rider regaining his super strength. Escaping from the cell the Claw put him into in Chapter 1.

Brick not only kicks the Claw thugs asses but he helps his singer friend escape. But it might be too late. The Claw already shot her up with heroin. Hell-Rider puts her on his bike and rushes to the nearest hospital.

Slinker gets back to Vegas. Brings the boots and the female Wild Bunch member finds the heroin hidden in the boots.

The three Wild Bunch members being held captive at the Claw Compound get free,find their  bikes and notice the compound is on a plateau.  So we get a big bike jump from the Plateau to freedom.

They manage to escape. The Claw leader is now in Vegas about to kill Slinker,Butterfly and the female member of the Wild Bunch. But Hell-Rider uses his amazing bike riding skills a 2x4 that is just laying around and I am guessing the biggest thing was the writer realized he had almost no pages left so had to wrap this up fast,and HELL RIDER takes his motorcycle and goes up the side of the building and in through a window. Stopping the evil Claw leader.

And the evil hooded leader of the Claw gang is unmasked. Revealed to be Hell-Rider's uncle. The end.

Wow that was a nutty comic. After finishing it I wondered if maybe Hell-Rider was Skywald's rip off of Ghost Rider from Marvel. Nope Hell-Rider appeared a few years before Ghost Rider.

The art is pretty good. The story is wacky and full of just insanity. And I loved it. 

Final Faction First Impact issue #1

Back in 2020 I started hearing that the Dollar Tree chain had it's own line of action figures. 

Final Faction is this toylines name. And for a buck,recently raised to $1.25,you could get a figure or a weapons pack or even a vehicle for this Sci Fi/Action toy line.There is even a cartoon,search for Fatal Faction on Youtube.

I have picked up a few of the figures. They look cool. And if I ever saw the vehicles in  a store I would grab a few. 

Earlier this week was in a Dollar Tree not near me. Was looking at the books and saw a stack of comics in a bag. And learned Fatal Faction now has a monthly comic!

For under 2 bucks you get a 20 page comic. No ads. And the comic ain't bad. 

That is an interior page from about halfway through the comic. As you can see the art ain't bad.

Then there is the back cover showing what to expect in March with issue  2.

Now the plot. Well we are 30 years in the future. And learn that what we thought was the moon was an alien ship that got covered with dirt. Kharn is the aliens  on the moon. They are awake and want to pillage the Earth for all it's resources.

Yea not anything new. But this is a comic based on a cheap toy line. Which is made for a store known for selling stuff for a buck or less.

The comic comes in a resealable poly bag. Looking  online seems most people are finding these mixed in with the coloring books.

So Final Faction First Impact Issue#1 gets an C+ for art and a C+ for story. But over all I give it a B-. I love it when any store has comics. More comics in stores improves the chances of kids getting into comics.

QT Tuesday&Thursday Worst to First 3 of 10

 

The Hateful Eight

2015

Pretty sure this is the QT film I have seen the least amount of times. 

First viewing was when Xmas day 2015 when a screener of the Roadshow edit leaked. I got it. Watched it and thought it was decent but nothing special.

Later when the Extended edition,which is 4 episodes,appeared on Netflix over the course of 2 nights watched it and still it was decent.

I like the idea behind the film. People trapped in a place. Not sure who to trust. Not sure what will happen or if they will live through the night.

I like the cast. So many great actors and all that. Even a surprising good job from Channing Tatum.

But in the two cuts I have seen all these great parts do not add up to a great movie.

Not sure what else to say about this. It is worth seeing,I prefer the extended cut. But it is one I don't mind that I missed it in a theater.

QT Tuesdays&Thrsdays Worst to First 2 of 10

 

9-Kill Bill Volume 2

April 2004

Ok yea some will argue that Kill Bill vol 1 and 2 was meant to be one film. So it should count as 1 film. It was released as 2 films so I count it as 2.

Back when this came out a good buddy ran the theater in a near by mall. And if I went during say the middle of the day on a Tuesday usually he wouldn't charge me for a ticket asking me if instead of payin for a ticket I would buy a drink or a snack. But heey movie theaters make most of their money off the drinks and snacks.

The weekend Kill Bill vol 2 came out I had bought the first volume on DVD. We had not that long before this gotten a new tv. I 48 inch plasma tv. Invited over a few friends and we sat there watching Vol 1. All of us planning on going later the next  week. to see the movie for free.

The following Tuesday Chili Cheese Fries Chris and I were the only ones off work that day. After being asked if I minded driving  I  went picked up Chris head to the theater. And good news buddy was there manning the ticket booth. Got our free tickets then each bought a large drink and a popcorn. 

Sit down and Chili Cheese Fries Chris is slurping down his drink fast. Sure we got free refills on soda and popcorn  but QT movies are long films so you dont want a full bladder while watching one,as I learned with a movie that is further up this list.  CCF Chris then pulls a tiny bottle of Crown Royal out of his pocket pours all of it into his soda. Now I know why he was not only gulping down his drink but also why he asked me to drive. No biggie get your drink on Chili Cheese Fries Chris.

First half of the movie is fun. Love the fight between the Bride and Daryl Hannah. But after that first half the film goes to crap and thanks to CCF Chris our movie going experience went to crap.

During that whole long boring way to long dialogue scene The Bride and the pimp guy,Chris gets up goes to get his drink and mine refilled and my popcorn refilled. He comes back slurping down his soda again. Then out of his pocket appears another tiny bottle of Crown Royal. By now Chili Cheese Fries Chris is halfway sloshed. He just gets the last drop of the second mini Bottle into his soda cup when he loses his grip on the cup. It drops to the floor. Splashing up the liquor/soda mix onto CCF Chris. Then the cup rolls down to the front of the screening room.With  the strong smelling mixture leaking out of the cup as it rolls.  Theater reeks of liquor. And this movie reeks of padding and a director that the studio is afraid to tell "Hey this is too long. cut 20 minutes of the rambling talk that goes no where."

Leaving the theater even CCF Chris,in his drunk enough I had to make sure he made it into his house,was muttering about how the movie "sucked mostly."

When the movie hit home video I bought it and yep it wasn't made better by not having to smell liquor through out the last 3rd of the film.

If Kill Bill had been  released as one film the pacing  issue would be resolved. Plus betting the padding scenes would be gone.

But with those two major issues there aint no way this film could be considered one of QT's better films.

Come back next Tuesday at 12pm  central time for the next film.

QT Tuesdays & Thursdays Worst to First 1 of 10

 Was arguing not that long ago with the Metal Manlet,the dudee with the best/worst shit-stache ever over which of the so far 10 movies is Quentin Tarentino's best and worst films.

And by 10 films we meant the 10 that he directed and are available for viewing in full. So no My Best Friends Birthday,True Romance,Natural Born Killers or Four Rooms.

Starting with what I think is QT's worst movie here on this lovely Tuesday in December. 

#10-Death Proof

April 2007

Ya I know this is universally considered Tarantino's worst movie. What differs is how much the people that think it is his worse dislike this movie.

When Death Proof came out as the second film in Grindhouse,I was already not happy with QT. I decieded to not bother going to a theater to see this. Something that I had only done with 2 previous QT films. When it hit DVD I didn't bother buying or even renting it for close to a year.

Seems like for me I was right in skipping seeing this in a theater. And yes I know the DVD and Blu ray out there are a different cut of this movie from what was shown in Grindhous. And yes I have seen both cuts of this movie. I have had the Grindhouse cut of this and Planet Terror on DVD-r for years from when it aired on Starz. Unlike Planet Terror I prefer the Grindhousee cut of Death Proof. Mostly cause it is shorter and one of my big issues with the  DVD cut of Death Proof is the length. It feels like what happened with Stephen King in the book industry in the early 90s is now happening with QT in the film industry. They both are so big that no one will tell them "Hey asshat might need to edit that book/movie down."

Stunt Man Mike ,Kurt Russell,has made his stunt car DEATH PROOF. If you are sitting on the driver's side that is. And after long scenes adding more ammo to the people that bang on and on about how QT has a foot fetitsh,we get long scenes of a group of younger adult women having conversations. In which each of the ladies sounds exactly like any other character in a QT film having a long conversation about anything that has almost nothing to do with the plot of the film,.

QT appears as the bar tender. And Stuntman Mike offers a tipsy Rose McGowen a ride home. He kills her in a gruesome bloody way. But by the time I reach this point of the film I am already wishing this entire movie was a 30 to 45 minute segment in an anthology film. 

We time jump ahead some years. Again we get 4 women talking exacly like QT does. But this time it is kind of relevent to the plot.  These ladies are 2 stunt women,a make up lady and one of the stars of a film. They are bored being stuck in this rural tiny town. And one of the stunt women sees that a rare muscle car is up for sale. 

They go to check out the car,talk the star into staying behind while the other three take it out for  a test drive. Out oon this drive,while doing a dangerous stunt,that shows why Zoe Bell is one of the best stunt women of the modern era,Stunt Man mike appears and wants to kill these women. 

The three fight back. And we get a bunch of stuff taken from Faster Pussycat Kill Kill. End of film.

Man I wanted to like this movie. After seeing it the first time I thought maybe the Grindhouse cut will fix the issues. It helped but not enough. The cast is good. Kurt Russell is  amazing. Zoe Bell aint great at delivering dialogue,but she makes up with the ship's mast stunt. Plus Rosario Dawson is her normal movie stealing self. 

All of the above greatness can't make up for the bad pacing and long rambling chats in the movie. 

Which is why Death Proof is the worst of Quentin's Tarantino's movies for me.

Is it a horrible movie? Nope. Just he had ,be sides  one stumble before this,set the bar so high. 

So come back Thursday to see what film number  9 is.