Clerks 3 plus my history with this franchise AKA Goodbye Hippie Mike

 

It was a few weeks before Xmas in 1994. I was at the local second run theater with some friends. It was Friday which meant the theater woudl air Rocky Horror Picture show,starts at 11pm. And afterwards for one more dollar you got a second film. Sometimes it was a beat up print of a cult classic. Other times it was one of the movies the theater was showing a month after they had hit theaters.

We were lined up out front,enjoying a abnormally chilly december evening when I looked and saw the poster up top hanging. I remembered reading about Clerks in some film magazine,I am betting it was Film Threat. Once we got to the box office,and I saw the theater manager was running it that night,I asked her if there was any chance she could show Clerks as the second feature. "That is the plan. Watched it last night. Looks like a movie you oddballs would love."

Well after Rocky ended 80% of the crowdd got up and left. But close to 15 of us stayed. Sure since this was the rare movie theater back then that served beer,by the pitcher,I'm sure a few of the people that paid the buck to see another film were hoping to use that time to sober up some before heading home.

When the ending credits finished it was after 1am. We all piled in my Oldsmobile Delta 88 and headed home. Already a few lines from the movie were being quoted. "37? In a Row?" and "I aint even suppose to be here today"

Sunday when I finally woke up I called the theater to see how long they had Clerks. Got told "Well last night is the first time any tickets were sold for it. I still got it for a week. Unless it starts drawing that is it." Over the next 7 days I tried my best to convince everyone I knew to go see it. But when the next weekend hit and we were lined up again to see Rocky Horror I noticed Clerks was gone. Learned that in the 17 days she had the print 19 tickets were sold for the film.

Back then I rarely kept track when new movies where hitting home video,I was more concerned with tracking  down all the 70s horror movies I hadn't seen yet. But with Clerks I knew the exact date it hit VHS. And I had a copy pre-ordered through a local media store. Clerks was also a major reason  why I got a laserdisc player. I had been wanting  one for years. Then learned that Kevin Smith was a huge lasersdisc fan. And how the Clerks laserdisc not only had a commentary but cut scenes and the original ending of the film. This original ending I had read about in some  mag.

Before Feb of 97 that vhs of  Clerks had been watched so many times I had to get a new copy. Plus when  Mallrats hit theaters we learned that the nearest to us it was playing was two states to the east. So again pile up in the Olds Delta 88 and drive almost 3 hours to see Mallrats.

Now sure I saw and enjoyed Mallrats,Chasing Amy,Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike back. But Clerks was still my favorite of the View Askewiverse.

In early 97 I moved. And for close to 2 years I was swing manager at a convience store. At this job I introduced every coworker I had to the film. And since I have dark hair and usually got a mustache/goatee combo my name badge at this job said Dante for years. It was alsto through this job that I met my best friend for the decade I lived in Southeast Texas. Hippie Mike,he was a guy that had by the late 90s faced some rough stuff. He was drafted right out of high school to go into the navy and over to Vietnam. Mike became a huge Kevin Smith fan. And any time a new Smith came out Mike was there with me opening night to see it.

Lots of our friends would joke and claim that Dante was Mike and Randal was me. And I could understand that. Mike like Dante tried to always see the best in any situation. Randal like me,espically back then,was a cynical asshole who always noticed the negative.

When the Clerks cartoon debuted Mike and I and a pile of friends watched it. Hell I had a brand new VHS tape ready to record it,in SP mode to get the best quality. And when the second episode aired I recorded that. Of course that is all ABC aired.

Then Oni Press started publishing Clerks One shot comics. And around the same time Jay and SIlent Bob Action figures were made. Hippie Mike by this time had lost his mother,his grandmother and his sister. He had no family left really. And my family kind of adopted him. That year for Xmas Mike bought me the Jay and Silent Bob figures.

I was now online. And hearing about Smith's next movie Dogma. Opening night first showing  Hippie Mike and I were there. Watching the 9 or so protestors out front of the theater. Sure I loved the movie,like Kevin Smith my mother tried to raise me Catholic,but after the Clerks cartoon and comics I wanted more Dante and Randal,and I wanted more Quik Stop and RST Video.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike back comes out. Again  went with Hippie Mike. We liked it but it felt like the least of Smith's Jersey films. So when in the ending credits Smith hinted that Clerks II was out next I jumped up and cheered.

Well  that Clerks cartoon,by now it was out on home  video.Which included all the unaired episodes. And Comedy Central was airing it often.

Now Hippie Mike by this time had learned he had lung cancer. He had been exposed to all kinds of stuff while in the Navy. He got declaired fully disabled. And was getting a disability check. But all of us quickly noticed that without a schedule Mike was getting bad off. He would sleep for 2 days straight. Forget to eat. Most of us were getting really worried about him. So at least every other day one of us would go by and check on him.

Normally on Wednesdays I would get off from work,run  by my local comic shop get my comics. Then run by see Mike and take him out to eat. I was almost to Mike's place when my cell rang. I looked it was Mike. He never called my cell so I was worried. "Yea I' m almost there you ok?" Got told he had great news and hurry up and get there.

I  pulled up ,parked my car. Was on his front steps about to knock when I heard him tell me to come on in. Before I could even tell Hippie Mike hello He yelled "CLERKS 2 IS  COMING OUT SOON!" I hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. He showed me on his computer the news. And I told him we were going to see it my treat.

Months later Clerks 2 comes out and we go a few days after it came out. My eyes have always been very  sensitive to light and by this time I had noticed the local movie theaters would be packed with teens. Teens who  couldn't go more than 15 minutes without using their phones to text someone. Sure they weren't talking during the film. But the bright screens would distract and blind  me in a dark theater. So our plan was go  on a weekday around 1pm. YOu know when  the teens should be in school. 

I took the day off work. The girl I was with at the time came with me. We went picked up Mike. Went  out to eat. Then headed to the theater in the mall. It was the closest theater plus a buddy was the manager.So if he was there we could get snacks for a big discount.

Bought our tickets. Saw my buddy was there. We each got a large soda and a large popcorn for a huge discount. Go into the theater and it is us three. Who sat about half way up the riser seats in the dead middle. About 3 people further up who's faces I knew from the comic shop. And that was it. I took  my cell turns it to vibrate. Thought this is gonna be fun.

Then a group of 10 teenageres walk in. They sit on the first row of the risers. Now the lights were still on and those mega easy movie trivia questions were playing. I noticed how every few minutes one of these teens  would pull out their phone,type out a text. Then another of the teens on that row would get the text and reply. I figured ok once the lights go down they will stop.Lights dim  trailers start and the teens are quiet and not texting.

About 45 minutes into the film the teens started texting again. And I was getting pissed. I stoood up whispered to her "I'm going down  to say something to them" got told "Dont cause a scene". Walked down  tapped the teenage boy on the last seat on  the row on the shoulder . When he turned  and was facing me I quietly said "Hey man whenever you send or get a text that bright screen is distracting. Would you mind waitingg till the film is over to do that again?Please."

The teen looked at me laughed"Fuck off old man" So I was pissed but walked back to my seat. 5 minutes hadn't passed when  the teen sent  or got a text. When he did i saw him hold his cell up high,then  turn his head and look at me and smile.

In one fluid motion  I grabbed my half full large soda out of the holder on the armrest,and hurled it right at that kid's head.It hit him on top his head and him and the guy next to him got drenched. 

"What the fuCk!" yelled the one kid. Then he got up and him and the other wet kid left the theater. Then the movie stopped and the lights turned on. I see the  two kids coming back in,hear them  yelling. Then see my buddy the manager. "Ok  point at who threw the Coke at ya" Of course the two point at me. He motions for me to come down "It's alright folks. Gonna get this settled and we will start the movie back up."

"Well REDACTED did you throw your Coke at this guy?" Told him yep. "Why did you do it?" Told him about asking them to not text being told Fuck off old man. The  whole time we are talking all the teens are looking at me and smiling. "Well here at this theater we got a strict policy about .... minors being  in  R rated movies!" THen he asked all the teens for their IDs. "ANd if you are underage you have to leave.". Turns out they were all underage. Still not sure why there weren't in school. So he kicks them out. Then starts the movie back up and brings me a new large Coke "And try to not throw this one  at someone OK"

For years after this Hippie Mike would tell people about it. That year since he had no family left I told him to come with me to visit my family for Xmas. My mother asked for a gift idea for him,and me too. And I told her to get us Clerks 2.

That year Xmas night my father,Hippie Mike and I shared a 12 pack of beer,watched Clerks 2. And laughed so much  Dad almost pissed himself.

Fall of 2007 I moved. Left Texas and moved back to MS. For the first 2 years I was back in MS I would call and check up on Hippie Mike once a week. He  came to see us for Xmas those 2 years.

After a major Hurricane hit that area Mike decided to move to Arkansas,he had family in that area. And after his lung cancer being  in remission for close to 12 years it had come back.I started hearing from Hippie Mike less and less. Until one day close to 5 years ago at the same time I got a call,a text and a message on FB. All from friends out in Texas. All telling me that Mike had been found  dead in his place. Sadly it appeared he had been dead for at least a week. Seems he had a heart attack.

I hated having  lost contact with Mike. The guy was like the older brother I never had. I hated how after I moved out of Texas some  scumbags took advantage of MIke. Like 2 years before I moved Mike got a huge settlement check. One big enough that between it and his monthly disability checks Mike should have been set for life. Nope a flakey scumbag that I won't name took advantage of Mike's lonliness and within 8 months had gotten  all of the money Mike got in that settlement. And when that money was gone so was this scumbag.

Was years later I heard that Kevin Smith was making  another Jersey film. And of course first thing  I thought about how this would be the first film in the series since Mallrats that I didn't goto the movie theater with Hippie Mike to see it. I wasn't even gonna see the movie. Skipped a chance to see it in  a  theater.  And it wasn't until I got it on DVD cheap that I watched it. Honestly on that first viewing I didn't like it. 

So finally after years and years of talk Clerks 3 is filmed and given  a kind of touring roadshow movie theater release. It did play close to me ,but after the  wet fart that Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was,plus not really wanting to see a new Clerks film without Hippie Mike I skipped it. 

Tired to avoid spoilers. All I knew was that something happens that either you will be pissed about or you might end up crying over. Then  I heard that Clerks 3 would hit streaming for rental or purchase in November. And goto DVD/Blu  ray in early December. My plan at the time was get it on Blu ray as a Xmas present. And like the year Clerks 2 came out,getting a 12 pack of beer,but this time splitting the beer with just my father.

The day  Clerks 3 hit streaming I wasn't feeling  good mentally. But my angel knew how to cheer me up. "Go check the Vudu account  you got an early present." I go look and there is Clerks 3. 

SPOILERS FOR CLERKS 3

Once I started the film and learned that between 2 and 3 Rosario Dawson's character Becky had died,along with her and Dante's child,I figured that is what pissed off a pile of people. I wasn't mad but also wasn't that mad about her having died.

The more of the film I saw the more I saw that Dante was just a Gen  X version of Hippie Mike. A guy who life had shit on many times. But he kept going  on. 

So when Dante  has the heart attack. It  hit me hard. Then when Randal takes the edit of his movie to the ICU and him and Dante watch it no lie I was tearing  up. When  they showed Dante in his head sitting in a theater and watching the movie I knew I was gonna need some tissues. But when Rosario  appeared and laid her head on Dante's shoulders that is when I knew Dante was gonna  die. And when he did I stopped the movie. It felt like I had lost Hippie Mike again.

Since that night I have bought the Blu Ray of Clerks 3. And watched the movie 3 times,once with the commentary  and 2 times without it. Watched all the extras. And each viewing when  Dantes and Becky stand up to leave the theater it gets extremely dusty in whatever room I am in.

I never thought  back on  that cold night in December 1992 that this b/w white  low budget movie about two slackers working in  a conveince store and a video store would become one of my favorite films. ANd each time I watch Clerks 3 I keep thinking "Man I wish  Hippie Mike was  here to see this."

So Mike my older brother,I hope you know how much you are missed by so many people. I hope yoiu realized how much good you did for so many. And I wish you were still here.I know  if you were you would love Clerks 3. Miss you brother. Thank you for all that you did,not only for me but for so many others.

3 modern lesser known tv shows based on comic books.

 As a kid I would watch any movie ,cartoon or tv show based on a comic. Which it being the mid to late 70s meant I watched some good stuff,like the Superfriends every Saturday morning on ABC. And some crap like the first of the 2 made for TV Captain America movies.

Even skipping ahead till I was almost 18 and it was rare we got a good film,cartoon or tv show based on a comic. Sure there was stuff like Tim Burton's first Batman movie or Spiderman and his Amazing friends cartoon. But I would watch it all .

Now thanks to the explosion of the Marvel movies at the box office,and all the new streaming services their is demand for comic book tv shows,cartoons and  movies. With so many there is always a few that get over looked.

I figure if you are reading this blog you already know about stuff like Arrow and Flash on CW,Flash was decent for the first season and 1/2 Arrow on the other hand I never liked. And seems like I am one of the few that didn't watch all of Daredevil on Netflix.  No way would I have believed every 10 years ago that stuff like Preacher,The Boys and Sandman would get TV shows that are hits.

But as I said earlier there is some I feel get over looked. Here is my list of 3 that I think most people that enjoy comics or enjoy comic movies/tv shows/cartoons should check out.

Up first is the newest show on the list. Based on the famous underground comix Fabulous Furry Freak Bros is an animated TV Show on TUBI. Which means it is free. Each episode is close to 30 minutes long.

Now the comic was about the "adventures" of 3 stoners aka Freaks that lived in the 60s/70s.  It was a huge hit and even had it's own board game. In the first season of the cartoon these 3 get sent into the modern world. So the first season was about them and Fat Freddy's cat figuring out how to live in a very different world.

Good animation and a great voice cast,they got John Goodman as one of the bros,made this a can't miss show for me. IIRC new episodes hit TUBI on Sundays. Last I heard it was a huge hit and TUBI has comissioned a second season. 

AFAIK the comic is easy to find in various collections. I have read scans of the main series and it wasn't bad. 

So since I started with an Indie comic going to DC next. And the next show has had 3 seasons so far. Starting off on DC's short lived streaming service,which was a good idea but too nichie to survive,then folding into HBOmax,Doom Patrol  takes it's basic premise from not only the 60s Doom Patrol comics but also the late 80s thru mid 90s run from Grant Morrison.

Who are the Doom Patrol? Well they are a group of heroes/heroines that think they are freaks and hated by mankind. So a super genius in a wheelchair bands them together to fight crime. Yea I know sounds a lot like the X-men. And both teams appeared so close together there is little chance one was copied from the other. And like the X-men,Doom Patrol in the 60s wasn't a huge seller. It got cancelled and the writer killed off the entire team in their final issue.

Then in the 80s in the classic acclaimed New Teen Titans series Wolfman/Perez brought back Robotman. And the Doom Patrol's main villian team of bad guys. Then not long after that in a great annual of Secret Origins John Bryne retold the origin of the original Doom Patrol. Then retold the origin of the short lived revival of the Doom Patrol in the 70s. Then at the end of this comic it was strongly hinted that soon the Doom Patrol would come back.

When the comic did come back I loved it.But it wasn't selling well. So around issue 18 or so a new writer was brought on board and told "Do whatever you want. You got 6 issues to increase sales or the title is cancelled"

Grant Morrison was the new writer and he went wild. Killing off the DP members he didn't like. And even slowly over a few years bringing back most of the original members. 

So far,now I still need to finish season 2 of the TV show,the Doom Patrol series on HBOMax is really inspired by the Grant Morrison run. While also adding new elements.

You got Brandon Fraiser as the voice of Robotman.  Robotman was always my favorite on the team and Brandon is great as Cliff. Cliff was a race car driver. Got into a major accident and all that was saved was his brain. Which The Chief,Timothy Dalton as the leader of the Doom Patrol,puts CLiff's brain into this robo-body. Cliff is the defalt leader of the Doom Patrol.

Then there is April Bowlby as Rita Farr aka Elasti-girl. She was an actress,best known for her looks and many trips on the casting couch,who gains the ability to change the shape of her body. Her emotions control her body so once she gains these abilities she can't act anymore. IIRC in the Morrison run on the title it was revealed that when the original team "died" the only one that stayed dead was Elasti-girl.

Already mentioned that TImothy Dalton is The Chief. Who was the leader of the original team,and in the Morrison run comes back and has a nasty secret revealed about himself and the rest of the team.

Matt Borner as Larry Trainor aka Negative Man,is the other member of the original team. Well member of the original team that was there from the start. He got exposed to radiation while being a test pilot. This causes Larry to radiate radation out of his body. He is basically trapped in a lead cell to prevent him from hurting anyone. When he gets sent special bandages. Which stop the radation in his body from leaking out. Larry also learns that inside him is a radioactive duplicate. Who he can send out to do stuff.Larry so far is the character that is changed the most from the comic. Now I know that in Morrison's run and then in Rachel Polluck's run it is strongly hinted that Larry might be a gay man. In the show this isn't hinted it is flat out said.

In season 1 there is 2 other members of the team. First up is Diane Guerrero as Crazy Jane. Jane has 64 different personalities and each of them has their own superpower. Before this show all I had seen Guerrero in was Orange is a New Black. And well on that show she wasn't given much to work with. So I was a bit worried when I heard Diane had been hired to be Crazy Jane. I love Crazy Jane. She was my favorite member of the Morrison run of Doom Patrol.

Was suprised when I saw that Diane Guerrero is a great actress. She is perfect as Crazy Jane. Love how they have slowly introduced her alt personalities. Plus how like in the comic we are seeing how Cliff and Jane are falling in love. Maybe a slight spoiler,but when Morrison was leaving the title he asked if he could write his final issue as an ending for the series. He left it set up where the next writer could ignore what Morrison set up or use it. In this issue Jane is somehow in the real world. Trapped in a mental hospital. Jane is being told all her adventures with the Doom Patrol were not real. And the one thing that really gets to Jane is she is told that Robotman doesn't exist. Jane realizes she is gonna have to pretend to be better to get out. She does this. Gets out and goes to a bridge. Planning on jumping to her death. When out of nowhere Robotman appears. Tells her he has searched most of the multiverse for her. Then invites her to come with him and live the rest of their lives together on Danny the street. Great ending for a great comic. And one I hope they use on the show.

Now while he isn't an official member of the team yet on the show I gotta talk about Danny the Street. Danny is a sentient street. Who communicates by changing the text on the windows of the business on the street. Danny the street can travel and take whoever is on the street to anyplace in the world. After meeting him,assuming Danny is a male cause well Danny is usually a male name,the Doom Patrol starts using Danny the Street as their main form of transportation. Danny appears in season 1 and in season 2.

The last official member of the team in season 1,doesn't join into a bit into the season. That is Vic Stone AKA Cyborg.  Pretty sure in the comics Cyborg was never in the Doom Patrol. But he fits in perfectly in the tv show. Like the rest of the original members Cyborg feels like a freak. The actor playing him in this show is great. And I like how the FX crew managed to make Cyborg look so much like he did in the classic New Teen Titans comic. Keep hearing that DC wants Cyborg to be a huge hero for the company. Which is why he was added to the Justice League movie. So far besides the Teen Titans cartoon this Doom Patrol tv show is the only time I have seen Cyborg used right.

Most of season 1 is the team fighting MR Nobody and trying to figure out where the Chief has disappeared too. When this was airing it was one episode a week. And I didn't have the DC streaming service. SO whatever night it aired I knew which dailymotion channel was bootlegging it. Soon as they had their copy uploaded I would rip it and watch it.

When season 1 hit home video of course I grabbed it. Season 2 starts and I was doing a free trial of the DC Streaming service. Watched 2 episodes and my free trial ended. I figured I would just buy season 2 on DVD. I did that and watched 3  episodes and misplaced the dvds until recently.

Now my last show gonna goto Marvel. And to a property of theirs I am shocked they hadn't tried a live action show of before this. The show I am talking about is The Gifted. A 2 season long action/drama on FOX.

Set in the slight future,where all the X-men have vanished and the government uses robots to hunt down and capture mutants.

A dad who works for the government group in charge of capturing the mutants finds out his two teenage kids are mutants. These two are basically Fenris from the comics. Well power wise. 

The dad,mom and kids go on the run. And quickly get hooked up with the mutant underground. Which is made up of some great X-men characters that I rarely see used outside the comics. Warpath,brother of Thunderbird,is one. An Native American mutant. He is basically the mutant version of Captain America. Then there is Polaris,who in the first season is in jail. A lady mutant with magnetic powers like Magneto. Another is Blink. Blink can teleport. 

There is many other mutants introducedd in the 2 seasons the show got. Keep hearing that while the ratings were decent. The show cost a fortune to make. And wasn't getting good enough ratings to justify a 3rd season.

Well hope yall enjoyed that. Might do another of these soon. Cause there is shows like Legion,on FX and another X-men related show,Cloak and Dagger,2 seasons on ABC family. Or not from Marvel there is Constantine,DC show based on the same comic of the movie of the same name, and Umbrella Academy,based on a comic from Dark Horse wrote by the lead singer of My Chemical Romance.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Stats

 Well this is the 23rd year of me doing my 31 days of horror. And since 2008 They have been posted here at my blog.

Took a bit of time and came up with some stats for the 31 films this year.

Out of the 31 choices 20 of them were stuff I owned. 11 of those are DVDs.6 of those are Blu Rays.2 were DVD-rs and 1 was a mp4 file.

With 20 of them being stuff I owned that means I streamed 11 of the films. Shudder has the most at 4,not surprised with Shudder being a HORROR streaming service. Second place  is NetFlix with 3,again not surprised. 3rd place is a 4 way tie between Vudu,Hulu,Tubi and Paramount Plus.

10 of the films were things I saw for the first time. Not bad I try my best each year to have close to a 3rd being stuff I had never seen.

Worst film is Leatherface with a D-. This is the recent prequel movie. That is a killers on the run movie. Total crapfest and almost the worst TCM movie.

Best film was Nightmare on Elm Street 3 with a A. But Mass Hysteria with an A- is a close second.

Out of all the films I watched I don't own Mass Hysteria is the one I want to own. Do not think it has a physical release so far. And it only being 66 minutes long I doubt it plays on TV much.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 31 Orphan First Kill

 

TITLE-Orphan First Kill

SOURCE-Paramount Plus

Normally I don't review a film for 31 days of Horror the year of their release. Wanting to give me time to at least watch the movie a few times. Orphan First Kill is an exception. Cause since it hit Paramount Plus earlier this year I have watched it 4 times.

Back when it hit DVD I blind bought The Orphan and really enjoyed it. So when  I heard a prequel was being made many years later I wasn't sure if it would be good.Boy was I wrong.

Set years before the first film,this film shows us how Esther got started pretending to be a kid and killing people. And what a start. Less than 10 minutes into the film we are getting some very graphic over the top kills.

Esther gets taken in by a family that think she is the husband's missing sister. And over the course of the film we get so many twists.

Sure you know going into the film that Esther can't die. With this being a prequel. But even with that restriction the film manages to be as much fun as the first film.

What surprised me the most is how they managed to make the actress playing Esther to look 11. When she made the first film she was really close to the age she was playing. But now years later she is in her mid 20s. But by doing all kinds of tricks they make it appear that she is still a pre-teen.Like how most of the cast wore platform shoes so they were taller than Esther. And how thru lighting and  make up they made Isabell Fuhrman look younger than she is.

From what I have seen and read this film  was a hit. So hoping we get another entry in this franchise.

Orphan First Kill gets a B+

Fangs Review

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 30 Alone in the Dark(1982)

 

TITLE-Alone in the Dark(1982)

SOURCE-DVD-r made off the old Image DVD release

Now this is a 80s slasher I had never seen until earlier this year. CodyLL of Cody's blog,check the link list on the right,had gotten the Scream Factory Blu Ray of the film and offered to mail me the old DVD-r of the film.

Sure I had heard of this film,and even seen a small clip that was shown in Terror in  the Aisles,which like this film has Donald Pleaseance. But never saw Alone in the Dark on VHS,never saw it airing on  Cable. Hell I didn't even know of the movie until about 20 years ago. Feels like this is a forgotten slasher which is odd.

It is odd cause it has a big cast of stars. Sure Donald Pleaseance is in piles of horror films,but this also has Jack Palance and Martin Landeau. Plus while he isn't a huge star not long after this film he became a big tv star thanks to A-team,Dwight Schultz.

Donald helps run an insane asylum. Jack,Martin and 2 others are in the dangerous ward. Where they are kept locked up by electronically controlled doors. A Dwight is the new head of the place. Which angers our 4 mentally ill people cause they no longer have Donald there to help them.

So one night when the power goes out these 4 escape and steal a van and head towards Dwight's new home. Where his young daughter is. 

In Terror in the Aisles there is a scene with Martin in a van following a deliveryman on a bike. Martin talks about how he wants the man's hat. And ever since I first saw Terror in the Aisles I loved this scene. Landau comes off as not only crazy but pure evil.Using this hat Martin goes to Dwight's home,pretending to be delivering a telegram. Dwight ain't home. 

There is a great scene where lots of the town is looting a local shopping center,what else do you do when the power goes out. See one of the escapees is known as the Bleeder. Because he has nose bleeds often. He also always keeps his face hidden. Which leads to a twist near the end of the film. And one of the 4 escapees has on a hockey mask. And rips a dude's throat out with a garden trowel. Not sure but I think this came out a year before Friday the 13th part 3,so this might be the first slasher to have a killer in a hockey mask.

Now this isn't an amazing film. But it is way better than I expected. It has this weird sleazy feel to it. Which is really evident in scenes like when the one member of the crazies,who is know for attacking kids,is alone in Dwight's home with the young daughter. 

The picture and sound on this DVD-r ain't bad. It looks like a decent DVD. Colors and light levels always look decent. Huge thanks to Cody for supplying me with this copy of the film.

Overall Alone in the Dark is a early 80s slasher I would figure would be a much bigger deal. You got a great cast. It has a neat premise I hadn't seen in  other films of the sub genre. And it has that weird feel to the movie. 

Alone in the Dark gets a B.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 29 Mass Hysteria

 

TITLE-Mass Hysteria

SOURCE-Shudder Streaming

Been close to 4 years now I have had Shudder. Sometimes I got months without watching anything on it. Then I will watch nothing but stuff off it for weeks. 

I was looking for something short,knowing I was busy today. Saw this was 66 minutes and that is perfect. Sure that is not really even feature length,I've always been told a film has to hit 70 minutes to be feature length. So yea I get it if some claim this isn't a feature film. But I have covered shit of similar length like episodes of Masters of Horror.

And that is what this feels like. What if Masters of Horror stayed on the air and this is season 9. I loved Masters of Horror and damn it Mass Hysteria is a fucking fun and well made film. That cause of it's odd length I bet is forgotten soon.

Paige is a actress who just booked her first role in a major production in NYC. Currently she is doing the Halloween season in Salem Mass as part of the witch trial re-enactments.

It's her last night. She does what she has done for years now each night and accuses someone in the crowd of being a witch. Then curses them. But this time the frat jock douchebag she picks fucking dies. 

Causing all these drunk college kids to believe Paige is a real witch and the rrest of the film is her and the rest of the acting group on the run from these morons.

Sure you see a few things through out the film that hint that there might be more to the people trying to kill Paige,a rash on a few hands. But a major twist at the end causes that to be handwaved away.

This being 66 minutes I doubt you see it much on cable. Not much woould have to be cut to make it playable on cable. I see this just kind of being forgotten,if it is even known now. 

Mass Hysteria gets  A-

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 28 BrightBurn

 

TITLE-Brightburn

SOURCE-Tubi Streaming 

Wanted something that was horror and another genre mixed to watch today. So went to Tubi,the best of the free services for horror and just oddball shit. Saw they had added Brightburn and what the hell it is horror/capeshit. 

For those that have no clue what Tubi is and are old enough to remember the video store days. Netflix,Hulu and Disney+ are like Blockbuster/Hollywood Video and Family Video. But Tubi and Amazon Prime? They are that grubby mom and pop local video store. It opened in 1980 and has just one copy of any tape. But has stuff you don't find other places like The Cars that Eat People or both Evil Dead movies. Tubi has ad breaks but they are short and you get like 5 or so per movie. So free and not plagued with ads.

Started up the movie and looked it up to see which poster art I wanted to put up top. Most of them looked like that or were a tiny variant of it. Wait this came out in 2019???  Was thinking it was 2015 or so. But it makes sense it was 2019 I had posted a video about Rick Veitch's Maximortal vol 1 tpb and someone asked me if I knew about the movie ripping off the comic.

Elizabeth Banks and her husband can't have kids,and live in Brightburn Kansas on an old farm. A rocket crashes and in it is a baby. They adopt the baby and hide the rocket  in the barn. 

Yea this sounds like the Superman story,which it is. But when this kid hits 12 and puberty hits he starts gaining his powers. He gets mad the pushmower isn't working right and slings it across the yard. Then has this wanting to shove his hand into the still rotating blade. 

When on a camping trip withh his dad,after getting the Sex  talk,this creepy kid floats to the house of some classmate he is crushing on. Is floating outside her second story window and the girl sees him.

The only thing that appears to harm this kid is the ship. Which gets destroyed near the end of the film,in a great scene. And it ends with us seeing news reports of Brightburn rampaging all over the world. Leaving me to think we might get more films. 

The film cost close to 12 million and made a bit over 32 million at the box office. So I am sure after home video and all that it made 3 times what it costs. But no sequel in sight sadly.

Does Brightburn rip off Maximortal vol 1? No not really. They both use the age old "What if Superman was evil and a moody teen" idea.  This idea was done before Maximortal and part of the story when Veitch told it was parodying the already well mined trope of evil Superman.

I enjoy Brightburn. Sure I rather have a Maximortal movie. But that ain't happening. Sure I wish we got another film in this series. But yea looks like that ain't happening  either.

Brightburn is worth watching and appears to making  the rounds  on the various streaming sites. Brightburn gets a B.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 27 The Wasp Woman (1995)

 

TITLE-The Wasp Woman AKA Forbidden Beauty

SOURCE-DVD-R made from premiere airing on Showtime in 1995

Somehow out of all these mid 90s Roger Corman Theater remakes of older mostly PD films I have seen the 95 Wasp Woman remake,known as Forbidden Beauty in some areas,the most. Saw it when it first aired,cause I had seen and felt disappointed in the original. Then a few years later the remake was rerun on Showtime and a bachelor crash  pad house a buddy owned had myyself and 5 others drinking and watching it and laughing. Then back close to a decade ago when I got this DVD-r rip of a VHS recording ,in SP on a good HIFI VCR,of the original TV airing I watched it again. Then today. 

Why out of the 5 or so of these remakes I own is this one I go back to often? Mostly cause the others are remakes of films I already enjoy. But that original Wasp Woman,that is in the top 5 movies I own the most copies of on DVD thanks to it being PD in an in every multipak of horror,is a boring as hell crap fest of a film. We get right at 4 minutes tops of Wasp Woman in the film. This remake while having soome dodgy FX at least gives us plenty of the title creature.

The remake also has Jennifer Rubin,who uses a very very obvious body double for the nudity in her sex scene,and Maria Ford. And this is Maria after she had some visits to the plastic surgeon. That original I can't tell you who anyone in the cast is. Hell the remake has Fred Olen Ray as the higher up that tells Rubin she is an old hag. 

Directed by Jim Wynorski,this remake is the perfect example of how to reamake and improve an old horror flick. Now is it a undiscovered modern classic of horror? Hell NO! But it is a fun mid 90s Creature Feature that should be seen by more people. It is perfect for streaming on say Tubi or Amazon Prime. And for all I know it could be on one of those.

The Wasp Woman gets a B-

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 26 Dinosaur Hotel

 

TITLE-Dinosaur Hotel

SOURCE-ITN DVD

ITN aka the International Turd Network,no not really.But they appear to mostly release UK or Spanish made films. And their releases are usually shit.

Over the last year I learned about how there is a pile of studios putting out low budget DTV horror. And every week various stores have these films for 5 to 10 bucks.

Well it was back in the start of summer ,CodyLL of Cody's blog was doing a pile of dinosaur films to get ready for the newest Jurassic World film,I saw Dinosaur Hotel and figured what the hell. Saw it was from ITN and knew then the film would look cheap. And it was cheap,3 bucks. Well you get what you pay for.

A lady,who brings her kids,is at a hotel where dinosaurs roam. And is part of a game. Theree are twists and stuff. But the dinos look like stuff from the PS1 game Dino Crisis. And the kills look like cut scenes from that game.

The acting is from ok to HOLY HELL HOW BAD CAN YOU GET. With the lead lady's daughter being horrible.

The bad CGI is the  only FX work in the film. And wow they do all they can to make sure the CGI isnt in the frame with most anything else. Like the scene near the end where the daughter is trapped in the kitchen. Fighting off raptors. She is swinging a club and the club and her are never in the same shot as the CGI raptor.

Every year for 31 Days of Horror I try out some low budget newer horror to see if there is a gem hidden  in all the chaff. Well Dinosaur Hotel is  not  a gem. It is pure chaff.

Dinosaur Hotel gets a D+.