31 Days of Horror 2023 Day 02 Tombs of the Blind Dead

 

Title-Tombs of the Blind Dead

Source-Blue Underground DVD 

So until I discovered Grey Market vhs dealers I had never heard of the 4 Blind Dead films. At a few cons had Sumguy dealer trying to sell me a "Japanese Laserdisc rip in SP MODE  I swear! Only 30 bucks" I never bought a copy. Then BU put out a boxed set of all four. And caught it on sale for 35.

Released in 1972 Tombs of the Blind Dead is a Spanish-Portuguese film. Based around a legend of Tenplar Knights coming back as blind,because birds ate their eyes,skeletal ghouls/Zombies.

Sure the film is extremely slow paced. And the modest budget shines in a few scenes. Plus the best version is subtitled.  Which makes it a film I have to be in the right mood to watch. 

The good things are the film looks amazing. Lots of location shooting.  And a stunning cast of brunettes,that the Templar Knights stalk and kill.

Last time I looked Shudder had this movie. Which is a cheap way to try before you buy. Cause while the tension and Horror is similar to NOTLD68,the pacing feels more like some 50s b pic.

I do enjoy each film in this slice of Euro Horror. Tombs is my favorite of the 4. Tombs of the Blind Dead gets  a B.

31 Days of Horror 2023 Day 01 Leprechaun in Space

 

TITLE-Leprechaun 4 aka Leprechaun in Space
SOURCE-Lionsgate Blu ray
Yep the mostly shit upon 90s horror frachise. And this is the most shit upon entry in the series. But it is my 2nd favorite film in this series.

When the first Leprechaun film came out I loved it. Saw it in a theater. Then not that many months later it was airing at least once a week on Showtime. Sure now it is mostly remembered for being an early role for Jennifer Anniston,for me I find it to be a fun and interesting horror film. Sure my generation grew up with leprechauns as a kind of mystic creatures that are all fun and wackiness. But going back to the Irish legends that created the  Leprechauns you will see they were evil tricksters. And Leprechaun brought the creature back to it's roots,kind of like how Wishmaster took  the Genie/Djinn and made that back into the evil trickster demon it started out as.

After Leprechaun 3 being set in Vegas it was time to change up the scenery some. The plan was with part 3 to end the franchise. And since 3 didn't do well at the box office it appeared that was the end. But the home video market saved the franchise. Seems Leprechaun 3 was a huge hit on home video and cable.  So a couple of years later,and from what I can find going direct to video,Leprechaun 4 was made.

Now I had no clue this film was happening. Mostly because I had stopped reading Fangoria.  It was around Thanksgiving and like I had many many times before at that time of year I was up in rural Mississippi for a week. Visiting friends of my parents. Normally I hated going up there cause they had just an antenna for tv. But they had just got DISH Network. So knowing this in advance I brought with a stack of blank VHS. And spent 9 days recording a pile of movies off the various movie channels they got.

It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Dad and his buddy were home at lunch from deer hunting. Mom and her friend had went to town to shop. I saw Leprechaun in Space listed as airing  on TMC . Turned it on and had a blast watching it with dad and Tony. We sat there drinking a few beers and just laughing.

Directed by Australian director Brian Trinchard Smith ,pretty sure he also directed the 3rd film,Leprechaun 4 is pretty much Aliens. But with Warwick Davis as the killer Irish midget in place of the Xenomorphs.

Our group of Space Marine track down the Leprechaun and kill him early on in the film. Then one marine decides to piss on the corpse of the title villain. We see a green  spark go from  the corpse up the piss stream and assuming it enters the Marine' penis.

Back on their ship this marineis hooking up with Debbie Dunning,yep the lady that replaced Pam Anderson as the Tool Time Girl on Home Improvement. They are having sex when Leprechaun explodes out of the  male marine's dick and now we got the midget killer loose on this space ship.

We are never told how the Leprechaun gets from Vegas to Space. And while the timeline of the Leprechaun films is all over the place,I am just assuming this film happens way way in the future.  But really I don't care that we aren't told how we got from the ending of the 3rd film to this film.

By this point in the franchise all I want out of the films is some decent gory kills. And some decent laughes. Lep in space provided this. A bonus is it has that kind of odd 2000 AD way of sc fi  that I have noticed Brian Trenchard Smith  puts  in most of his films.

Leprechaun in  Space aka Leprechaun 4 gets a B+

31 Days of Horror 2023 Day Negative 2 Wolves

 

TITLE-Wolves

SOURCE-Ketchup Entertainment DVD

So anytime we find a cheap horror dvd/blu ray,under 2 bucks,it gets bought and added to the "Hey here's something to watch in October pile". And thanks to Dollar Tree that pile is HUGE.

Looking at that cover I went in expecting a Twilight ripoff but with Werewolves. Instead I got a mash up of MTV's Teen Wolf tv show+The Howling.

Our lead is in  his late teens,wolfs out and kills his adopted parents. On the run as the so called Cannibal Kid,he gets tipped off to goto Lupine Ravine. A near by town.

Yep town with a pack of werewolves,lead by Jason Momoa. Seems Jason is the lead dude's real dad. His real mom killed herself right after he was born.

Lead dude and local bar owner try to recreate The werewolf transformation during sex bit from The Howling. It fails. Just cause the fur appearing on the bar owner's back is the worse CGI in the film.

While not horrible,I have seeen much much worse in some of those later Howling sequels,this isn't worth owning. At the cheap price I paid I consider this a rental.

Wolves gets a C-

Scavenger Hunt Blu Ray

 

TITLE-Scavenger Hunt

SOURCE-Kino Lober Blu ray

I couldn't have been older than 8 when I first saw this movie. Was a Sunday afternoon. Flipping between the 6 channels we got I saw a movie was starting. Then saw Vincent Price and decided to watch it.

Price is Milton Parker an elderly toy company Billionaire. He dies and in his will tells 5 teams of people that whoever wins a huge Scavenger Hunt will get his money.

Yep this is pretty much a late 70s remake of It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad World. And with my being born in the mid 70s this cast is perfect for me. 

Richard Benjamin and Cloris Leechman are the greedy relatives of Parker and our lead heels. We get a team made up of the mansion's staff,with James Coco Cleavon Little Roddy McDowell and the maid is played by a lady I know I saw in many things but have no clue her name. Got another team of Dirk Benedict and Willies Ames plus some brunette lady in a custom van,well it is the late 70s. Tony Randal leading a team of him and his kids. Then Richard Mulligan,who adds Scatman Crothers to his team early on,as a cab driver.

Yea this is just crazy set piece after crazy set piece. And I doubt if I hadn't seen this as a kid I would give a shit about it now. Pretty much now if it gets any mention it is cause it is one of Price's last few films and one of Arnold Schazenger's first roles. 

I have been rocking a rip of a vhs release for close to 20 years. Got it in the early days of bit torrent. And this Blu ray looks great. Sounds great. Has a ok commentary,which has a few parts of silence. Then 2 interviews with 2 members of the cast.

If you love madcap comedies give this a watch. I am betting it is streaming on some service.

Scavenger Hunt gets a B+

Also Only  a few days to the busiesst month every year here at the Blog. Yep 31 days of horror starts Oct 1st. 

Alan Moore's run on Swamp Thing a re-re-reading

 

I am sure I told this story on my old podcast. And sure I've told it in a few videos over at the Asshat Podcast channel on Youtube,go check it out every Mon/Wed/Fri at 12pm central a new video appears.

As a kid I saw that Wes Craven directed Swamp Thing movie. And I loved it. It comboed superheroes and monsters. Two things at the time I was a huge fan of. Thankfully my favorite Uncle also loved Swamp Thing. So not long after seeing the film he got me a few issues of the current Saga of the Swamp Thing comic. And then every month for years I made sure to track down the newest issue.

Which meant when issue 20 dropped and Alan Moore took over the writing I was reading  it. And if my math is right I was 8 or 9. And by the time Moore was ending his run  I was just turning 13. 

Being so young at the start of the run so many things in the comic went way over my head. I will give some examples in a minute.

For those that don't know Swamp Thing is DC's swamp monster superhero. First appearing in an issue of House of Secrets. Then getting a solo series in the 70s. By the time of the early 80s and the Swamp Thing movie there was no Swamp Thing comic. DC created one and well it didn't do that well. Which is why by issue 20 they turned it over to a not that well known writer from the UK. Fairly sure Swamp Thing is the first thing I had read from Alan Moore.

After using issue 20 to wrap up the loose ends ,mostly,from the previous 19 issues in issue  21 "the anatomy lesson" Moore shows us that all we thought we knew about Alec Holland AKA Swamp Thing was wrong. We assumed that Swamp Thing was just a new body for Alec Holland when he died in the swamp. With The Floronic Man,a obscure villain,heading it up a evil corp takes Swamp Thing apart. 

When the corp betrays Floronic Man he sets Swamp Thing free and makes sure Swamp Thing knows what we have learned.

After returning to the swamps of Houma Louisiana,and that is another reason why as a kid I loved Swamp Thing. Where as Batman was in a city I knew didn't exist ,same with all the other DC heroes. And most of the Marvel heroes were either NYC based or LA based. Swamp Thing was based not only in a city I knew of but one that wasn;t that far from me. But after returning to the swamps our hero meets back up with Abigal Arcane and her Husband Matt Cable. 

On this re-re-reading I realized that what happens to Matt in the Sandman run is foreshadowed here. 

We see that Matt appears to have some kind of power. A power that he fears and causes him to drink. After a wreck  a giant black fly enters Matt's mouth. Which gives the picture I am posting next a shock that when re-re-reading it I almost dropped the TPB.

Yep the fly was Abigal's uncle Anton Arcane. Who has escaped from Hell and possessed Abby's husband. As a kid I just thought this idea and the above image were really creepy. Now re-reading it .... Yea it goes past that. While we never really see the possessed Matt Cable and his wife having sex it was implied.....

Of course Swamp Thing defeats Anton and ssends him back to Hell,and Anton of course returns. And thanks to Rick Veitch we get the full introduction of one of my favorite "heroes" in comics. Not that he is a hero. I am talking about John Constantine. The Anarchist Asshole,the mercenary magician.

Constantine takes Swamp Thing on a journey. Showing Swamp Thing how fear is rising all over the world. Plus at the same time Alan Moore is taking old worn horror tropes and putting a new twist on them.

Take vampires. We have seen thousands of vampires in comics by this time,guessing it is 1984/1985. Moore shows us a town that got flooded. And a tribe of vampires lives deep in the dark still water. Or ,and I think this issue might have been a favorite of whoever wrote the movie Ginger Snaps,the issue where Moore connects the lunar cycle of a werewolf with the menstral cycle of an abused housewife.

Over the course of 6 tradepaperbacks,covering Saga of the Swamp thing issues 20 thru 64 plus at least 1 annual,Moore takes us all over the world and universe. The series starts off as pure horror and goes through almost all the popular genres of comics. 

It was maybe 2 weeks ago. I couldn't sleep. So figured I would sit in my kitchen. Listen to some music and read a few issues out of the Swamp thing Vol 1 TPB I got cheap last year.

1 hour and 15 minutes later I had finished that TPB. And was ordering vols 2,3,4,5 off Amazon. 

As each volume came in that night once again sit in the kitchen and read until it was done.

See while I read this entire run as it was coming out decades ago I haven't read it all in order since then. Yeea I got pretty much the entire run in issue form,minus that first appearance of Constantine(which was sold years ago). This isn't one I had taken the time to re-read in order. I would just read an issue when I found it.

As of today I have done videos on vols 1 through 5 of these TPBs. Not sure yet when they will appear. But for a more through talk on this great series,with me flipping thru the tpbs,check the Asshat Podcast channel on Youtube.

Tijuana Toads

                          

TITLE-Tijuana Toads

SOURCE-Kino Lober Blu ray

As a kid sure I watched the various made for tv cartoons of that era,Scooby Doo and piles of stuff from Filmation,but I always prefered the cartoons that I later learned had been made to be shown  in theaters before movies. Stuff like Looney Tunes,Popeye and the Pink Panther.

Recently Kino Lober had a big sale for summer.I knew I had about 60 bucks I could spend,needed something around 6 bucks to hit the free shipping limit. Remembered I had a blu ray of Pink Panther cartoons that Kino Lober put out,so went looking thru all their animated Blu rays and DVDs to find something.

Almost grabbed another volume of the Pink Panther collection. Then saw Tijuana Toads. Why that title stood out to me I wasn't sure. Read the description and realized why I halfway remembered the title.

Made by the same animation studio that was doing the Pink Panther and Ant and Aardvark cartoons,Tijuana  Toads was series of 17 theatrical animated shorts. First one hitting theaters in 1969 and the last one came out in 1972.

By the time I was old enough to goto movies in a theater there was no cartoons played before the movie. But I was seeing most of them on tv. Usually on a UHF channel. And always early in the morning. 

After watching the documentaries and listening to all the commentaries on this Blu Ray set I learned that in the mid 70s when all the Pink Panther and other studio shorts started being aired on TV,Tijuana Toad got changed. Instead of El Toro and Pancho the toads are now named El Fatso and Banjo. They were called the Texas Toads. And all their dialogue got redubbed. To remove the very stereotypical Hispanic accents the Toads had.Seems until this Blu Ray the original versions of these shorts hadn't been seen since the early 70s.

Our two titular toads live in Tijuana Mexico and spends their days finding stuff to eat. One is skinny one is fat. And it feels like what if Laurel  and Hardy were toads.

In these 17 shorts the studio managed to spin off 2 more series of shorts. CrazyLegs Stork,who appears in a few episodes of the Toads. And the Blue Racer,who is a blue snake and got his own spinoff that is very Road Runner like.

The Blu ray is loaded with extras. We get 2 documentaries not only covering the Toads but also the Depattie/Freleng studio. Then at least half the episodes got commentaries from various animation historians,people like Jerry Beck. And for one cartoon you also got the alternate Texas Toads audio. 

The day I got this Blu Ray in I put it on planning on  watching 2 or 3 shorts then doing other stuff. I sat there and watched every short. Then watched some of them again with the commentary. 

If you enjoy old theatrical animated shorts this is a set to buy. 

Howdy Folks

 Yea I know nothing up here in weeks. I mentioned ,I think I did,months ago how I had started going to more indie wrestling events.

Learned back in spring that  a local indie wrestler lives not far from me. And he passes by my home going to most events. 

So now most Saturdays instead of staying home having a movie night I am in a car heading all over the south.

Anyways if you want something every week from me. Head to Youtube. Search for Asshat Podcast,there is two I am the one that doesn't have a donkey wearing a hat as the avatar. Every Monday,Wednesday and Friday a video appears.

Mad magazine flipthru

 

Hobie Hanson Book 1-13 Ways to Sink a Sub by Jamie Gilson

 

TITLE-13 Ways to Sink a Sub

AUTHOR-Jamie Gilson

Back when I was in 4th grade I grabbed a book at the 3 times a year school held Scholastic Book Faire. I learned after reading this book,the first time since I had went from  books like Sweet Pickles and Dr Seuss to what I considered at the time grown up books I read an entire book in one day,that 4b Goes Wild was book 2 in what was planned to be a continuing series of books. I took a piece of notebook paper wrote down not only the title of book 1,which is the book pictured above,but also the other books from the same author. 

Months later,my brain says it was summer ,at a used book store over in Gulfport while waiting on my mother and grandmother to finish trading in their books I found 13 Ways to Sink a Sub,with the same cover as the one pictured above. I grabbed it off the shelf. Walked up to the big register at the front of the store,where my Grannie was arguing with the owner over if they were gonna take some books Grannie was trying to trade in,showed the lady at the register the book. Since books were half off cover price I handed her a 5,got my change and told my mother I was gonna go sit outside in the car and read.

From then until 6 hours later I read that book. And loved it even more than 4b Goes Wild,which by this time I had read a few times. I made myself a mental note to keep looking for more books by Jamie Gilson.

Back in 2020 or 2021 I wanted to re-read 13 Ways to Sink a Sub. Looked and Amazon had a newer printing with the above cover cheap. Like a buck plus 3 for shipping. But like what happens lots of time between when I get the book in and I finish whatever I am reading ,the 13 Ways book got put in a box and buried. Found it about 3 months ago. And put it in the reading room. 

Before I get into the plot of the book. I want to talk about how much the copy I have well the cover sucks. Look at that image. A chalkboard,which were phased out of schools before I hit 12th grade in the early 90s. A paper airplae and that is it. Look up top at that cover I had on my original copy. You see two kids and a lady,who I assumed was the Sub and turns out is. Plus that older copy had great art every chapter or so. The copy I got now no ART!!. Plus since I got the next 6 books in this series in hardcover I want my copy of 13 ways to be a hardcover with the art on the inside included.

Ok so the plot. 

Hobie Hanson is our lead,his best friend is his neighbor Nick Rossi. They are in 4th grade,in 4b class. Mr Starr is their teacher. A strict but fair guy. One day during recess,where the SPIT PIT is introduced,the boys during a game of kick ball are talking about how one of their older brothers had a subsitute teacher not long ago. And they "sunk the sub" aka made her cry. But they doubt they will get a chance to sink a sub,causse Mr Starr is never sick.

The Spit Pit is a staircase near the  field they play kickball in. When going back inside after recess the kids line up on the staircase near the spit pit and well Spit in it. Also lots of trash from the field blows up into the spit pit. When playing kick ball if  a ball gets kicked into the spit pit all points scored off it arre doubled.

After a school report on China that doesn't go as planned,where Nick and Hobie got paired up with 4th grade boss girl Molly Bosco and her lackey Lisa Soloman,Mr Starr has to rush out of the room and goes home cause he is sick. 

The school principal comes in and takes over the class for the last hour of school. But lets 4b know Mr Starr is very sick and will not be there the next day.

With all the kids now knowing they will have a sub the next day it becomes a bet. Who will sink the sub? The Boys or the Girls? Losers have to go fetch any ball kicked,during a game of kick ball,into the spit pit for the rest of the school year.

Nick,Hobie R.X Shea and Marshall while heading home plot out ways to sink the sub. And while we aren't told about it I am betting Molly and the girls are doing hte same.

Next day they meet their Sub,A student teacher who is about to graduate. Ms Svetlana Ivanovitch,who comes off as a bit of a free spirit/80s era child of the hippies. She messes up and lets the kids know she has never been a sub before. 

The game is on. And the only rules are no one can rat out another student. For example during roll call Lisa answers to Molly's name and Molly answers to Lisa's name,No clue why Molly thought this might make the sub cry.Anyways no one is allowed to tell Ms ivanovitch they are lying. And rule 2 no physical attacks on the sub.

The rest of the book is the boys and the girls trying to make this sub cry. Molly keeping score on the chalkboard,which is not great cause Molly is of course biased against the boys.

Finally they do Sink the Sub. Earlier when they were going to gym,where they square dance and Nick spins someone too fast causing them to fly off and knock Ms Svetlana Ivanovitch over,one of the guys had plugged up the sink in the back of the room and left the faucet running. 

When they get back to the room of course it is a flooded mess. Ms Ivanovitch stomps off mad. The kids realizing they might be in deep trouble start to try to clean it up. One of the boys takes a pile of paper towels that are sopping wet and says screw it and  throws them hard against the ceiling. All of us that grew up when  schools had those tile ceiling know wet paper sticks to that like concrete.

The door to the class room opens up and it is Svetlana ,armmed with mops and cleaning supplies. She tells the kids how she should have caught on earlier that they aren't babies and apologizes to them for treating them like young kids. 

The kids are all now really feeling like crap.The door flies open again  and now it is Molly' Grandma and the principal. The impact of the door flying  open and hitting the wall causes the wet clump of paper towels stuck to the ceiling to fall. They land on Ms Ivanovitch's head. She starts laughing so hard that she is crying. WINNER THE BOYS!

Sure this isn't a kids book that is some big awards winner. It isn't even one that is well remembered. But when I was 9 this was my favorite book. And going  back and re-reading it was a blast,even  if my new copy is missing the interior art.

I mentioned earlier owning the other 6 books in the series in hardcover. All of which I got used and all over which are ex library copies. Many of them being from school libraries. Once I discovered there was at least 2 in the run I hadn't read and how cheap I could get them I had to .

As of the writing of this I have read the first 5 in this run.

1.Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub

2.4B Goes Wild

3.Hobie Hanson You're Weird

4.Double Dog Dare

5.Hobie Hanson Greatest Hero of the Mall

I am in the process of reading book 6. 

These books are very much  set in the era they were written,which is mid 80s thru mid 90s. I do wonder how a modern kid would enjoy these. Cause so much stuff that is common place to modern kids is absent from these books. Very little mention of TV. Computers are something that get a passing mention in later books. And  video games are not mentioned at all.

Thinking about doing written reviews of each of the books. No idea when the  next will go up.

90s Comic Boom and why did Valiant Comics fail to expand into other media

 Oh we all remember the 90s comic boom. From 90 until 96 or 97 comic books were hot. Some of the best selling comics of all time are from that era. That Death of Superman comic that everybody bought  thinking it would be worth big bucks...it is from this era.

What also happened is for the first time really since the 70s companies besides Marvel and DC managed to created shared superhero universes that not only succeeded but almost all of them got chances to put out movies/tv shows/cartoons/video games and/or toys. 

For years I have wondered why stuff like Ultraverse,Comics Greatest World and Image managed to get other media,but Valiant(who were huge for a good chunk of this era) got no other media to many years after the comic boom era.

Now sure most remember that for Image you had that 1 season CBS aired Saturday Morning WildCats cartoon. Which isn't bad. And quite a few remember that MTV aired The Maxx cartoon,that got what 2 seasons? Savage Dragon even had a 2 season long cartoon on USA Network. Then the big one Spawn... Spawn had the HBO cartoon that was 3 seasons. Then the live action movie. Then after 97 Image had blown up. From hits that everyone knows like The Walking Dead and Invincible. To the forgotten stuff like the live action Witchblade tv show.

Plus Image had action figures,Not just the stuff from Todd. There was Cyberforce mini metal figures and IIRC Youngblood had those plus some bendies.

Ultraverse had the UltraForce cartoon,that I think aired on USA Network. Which also had a toyline. Plus there was a Prime Sega CD game. But how many remember that Nightman got a 2 season live action syndicated drama show? Yea Nightman had a tv show. That supposedly did well in ratings but was cancelled cause Marvel bought Malibu,parent corp of Ultraverse,and canned the show ot save money.

Now I am sure a few of yall are going ok asshat what is Comic's Greatest World's other media? Hell a few are trying to remember Comic's Greatest World. 

It was a Dark Horse imprint. Started off with a weekly mini series. Each issue was a buck. 12 issues total. With each month focuses on one city in this world. 

CGW was kind of a bust. Sure a few of the heroes introduced in that first mini series went on to have their own series. X and Ghost are two that did that and are even still used off and on by Dark Horse. But who remembers Barb Wire? Blonde bounty hunter lady that rides a motorcycle. Lives in Steel Harbor,a run down industrial town now full of street gangs with super powers. Ok yea a few of yall remember her. 

How many remember there was a big budget Barb Wire movie? One that was expected to be a huge hit.  Costing 9 million to make the film made a tiny bit under 4 million.

Why was this expected to be a big hit? Coming out almost 3 years after Barb Wire first appeared. Coming out when the Barb Wire solo comic was already cancelled. Cause as Barb Wire Pamela Anderson was cast. And in 96 she was a huge star.

So Valiant. Odd they never went outside of comics until after they were sold to a video game company. As far as I can find there is no Valiant cartoons,toys,movies,pretty much anything that aint trading cards,posters,comics and the Armstrong Ale.

No real idea why. Valiant was ran ,after booting Jim Shooter,by a guy with ties to the music industry. And at their peak a Valiant cartoon or toy line would have sold pretty good. A X-O Manowar video game would have been a hit. 

But nothing. Nothing at all until Acclaim took over. And there is piles of people that only know of Turok cause of the N64 games.

Well hope yall enjoyed that. Was just something going thru my head for months now.