31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 09 Die Die Delta Pi

 

TITLE-Die Die Delta PI

SOURCE-TUBI Streaming App

Another day another modern low budget horror movie off TUBI.

No one in the cast you ever heard of. Set in whatever locations the producer could get free or cheap. And starring whoever can be convinced to be in the film.

Back in the 80s,or the way people that never lived through the 80s like to think the 80s was,the Delta Pi sorority is about to add some new members.  

Out by the bonfire where the Delta Pi are about to burn their house mother in effigy an accident happens and the nerdy girl gets badly burnt.

Skip ahead to modern era and the Delta Pi sorority is back and got a pile of pledges wantiing to join. Someone is killing  them and are they connected to what happened in the 80s? Of course.

Barely over an hour,padded as hell and full of some horrible acting,dialogue and even camera angles.

Fuck this was bad. Not even worth seeing for free on TUBI.

Die Die Delta Pi gets a F.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 08 Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl A Rama II

 

TITLE-Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl A Rama 2

SOURCE-TUBI Streaming App

Once I started this up and saw it was barely over an hour I knew it would more than likely suck. I was right.

The Sorority from the original film has fallen on hard times. They only got 2 members and 2 girls wanting to join. The house mother,Kellie Maroney,tells the girls about what happened in the first film.

Like in the first film there is a few goofball boys that are peeping on the girls trying to join. But it being what almost 40 years later instead of looking in a window they have just set up a mini camera in the bathroom facing the shower.

1 hour and 1 minutes including the long credits and it takes almost 30 minutes before we get to the bowling alley. Which I am pretty sure is the same one from the original,which was also in one of the Evil Bong movies.

Trophy gets broken of course. Out comes the Imp,who is creativly shot so you aren't suppose to notice he is very limited in his movements. But also we get the return of Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer as spirits of their characters from the first film.

The Imp grants wishs that backfire and once we hit the 50 minute mark the film is wrapping up.

Wow this was bad. I know modern Full Moon is usually short films that are barely over an hour and feel more like half a film. This felt like they had a 20 minute film they added whatevver it took to make it an hour.

Avoid this turd.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama 2 gets a F+.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 07 Mississippi River Sharks

 

TITLE-Mississippi River Sharks

SOURCE-TUBI Streaming App

Been a bit since I watched a shark film for 31 Days of Horror. And yea back to TUBI. It comes in handy. Say I am stuck in the pharmacy line for 40 minutes,scroll TUBI on my phone put on some janky movie and keeps me from wanting to attach tasers and chainsaws to my shopping cart.

And today was a 3 long line day. Pharmacy was 35 minutes. First grocery store line was another 30 and the final one was 38 minutes. So I scrolled Tubi found Mississippi River Sharks and started it. Chose it cause hell wanted to see what non-MS location they filmed in to be a "rural Mississippi quiet town". And saw that Jason London was in the film PLAYING HIMSELF!!!

So this was made to premiere on SYFY Channel. Which means the gore is low. So was the budget. Unlike piles of these shit out sharkpolitation movies this one got 2 semi names.

I already mentioned Jason and more on him in  a bit. The other name  and when I saw her name in the credits I wasn't sure why I knew it. Cassie Steele,looked her up and she is best known for that 2000s Degrassi show,plays our lead. She is home from college and wants to help her dad keep the family business running. It shows she has been acting for a bit cause unlike most of the rest of the cast Cassie feels like she ISN'T trying her best to remember her lines.

And now Jason London. In this film he plays a slightly fictionlized version of himself. He is a former big star that is now known for being the lead in Shark Bite 1,2,4,5,6. Yes I left out 3 he isn't in it,which is a running joke through out the film.

It was 15 minutes maybe 20 into the film when I realized yes they actually shot this in Mississippi. Not only that but I know where it was shot. Saw HWY 90 and knew they were in Ocean Springs.  Surprised more stufff isn't filmed down there. Great looking locations and I am betting it is cheap to film down that way. I have heard the state of MS isn't one that gives film/tv productions big tax breaks. Which is why lots of stuff set in MS is filmed in Louisiana.And if you know both states it is easy to tell when they are trying to pass LA off as MS.

Sharks are heading up the MS river. Right a when a small town is having it's annual big fishing rodeo. Cassie and 2 old friends of her's gotta save everyone. Along with Jason London,who shows he has decent comedic skills in this role,this group must keep people from being killed by cheap CGI sharks. And opposing them is the town Mayor. A ten gallon hat on a 20 gallon dumb ass.

Yep it is Jaws but with more sharks and less budget.I was more entertained trying to figure out where various outdoor scenes were filmed than by the movie. 

Mississippi River Sharks gets a D+

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 06 Maid Droid

 

TITLE-Maid Droid

SOURCE-TUBI streaming App

Yep Tubi,the place that got The Asylum to jump ship from Syfy Channel. The place where odds are pretty good any given movie you half remember from seeing at 2am when you were drunk is on it or will be in a few weeks.

Was on TUBI looking for something to watch, Saw the above poster and the 2023 release date and after a quick look at IMDB,where I confirmed no one in this did much else,I started the movie.

The lead has been single for a bit. His previous fianace left him for another man. So he now rarely leaves his home. He works from home. A friend of his tells him about this service for android maids. Yea Rosie from Jetsons but HOT. And this is set in the modern time. 

The friend hints the company behind this service is a bit shady. And everytime the lead asks about the cost he just gets told "you can afford it"

He gets sent the lady on the poster,Mako. And fairly quickly he is going from booking her for 4 hours every few days to 8 hours every day to wanting her to stay. This requires a charging station be added to his closet. Seems Mako can only operate for 8 hours,then takes 8 hours to charge.

The first night when he goes to bed he puts Mako to sleep mode and on charge. And she starts to have nightmare about a previous client. Who tortured her. Cause why not she aint a human she is a robot. 

Yep this droid is gonna start trying to kill our lead.  What sets her off ,besides the nightly dreams of torture,is when the ex fianace gets back in touch. 

Oddly this was way better than I expected. The poster and trailer made it appear to be more like a "Vista Street" era Witchcraft film. Sure it has nudity and sex scenes.  They are all short and the acting is actually decent.

The gore was better than I expected. With the kills near the end being way harsher than you normally see in a low budget film of this sub genre.

Maid Droid gets a C.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 05 A Haunted House

 

TITLE-A Haunted House

SOURCE-Universal DVD

Once the Scary Movie franchise died the lower level Wayans brothers,Shawn and Marlon,started this parody/horror/comedy series.Yep another "Hey this is a buck and you never seen it"buys. 

Marlon is moving his new wife ,Essence Atkins,into his home. He has a security system set up. And the first half of the movie is a Paranormal Activity parody. Which parts were funny,but having not seen any of the Paranormal Activity movies I am sure there is bits I didn't get.

Then the last half the wife is now possessed,after getting banged by a "gost". And the film morphs into a Exorcist parody. Cedric the Entertainer as the Priest.

In these parody films they throw 100 jokes out at once knowing a few will hit and you will laugh. So for me to judge one of these I take notice of how long I go WITHOUT laughing. And on this one there was long stretches where I might grin at a bit,but no laughes.

Worth renting or streaming. Now I gotta figure out what to do with this movie I will never watch again.

A Haunted House gets a C.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 04 Sleepy Hollow High

 

TITLE-Sleepy Hollow High

SOURCE-Sterling DVD

Betting this is the most time and money I have spent on a shitty movie. 6 years ago I found Sleepy Hollow High on VHS at a local junkstore. Paid the 50 cents the guy wanted. Then it just got added to the unwatched stack.

Skip ahead to 2020. Stuck at home cause of all the shit going on I found the trailer to Sleepy Hollow High on Youtube. Fuck I gotta watch this. Couldn't find my vhs. Offer to Ebay dropped 10 buck,plus 3 for shipping to get the dvd. The one pictured above. The one that smelled like an ashtray.

5 students that are in trouble are sent to Sleepy Hollow Park Grounds to perfom community service. A killer is loose and they start to die.Standard slasher shit. 

Then add in bad acting,bad camera angles,bad fx work,bad script and you get this pile of shit. Only thing worth a fuck about it is the shooting location. But then finding a patch of woods that is empty to film in isn't that hard.

Of course now after spending close to 15 bucks on this pile of donkey feces I see it is now on Youtube,free. Don't go watch it. Avoid this rancid lump of tripe.

Sleepy Hollow High gets a F.

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 03 Devil's Den

 

TITLE-Devil's Den

SOURCE-STARZ DVD

Not sure why but early in 2023 I was going through Jeff Burr's IMDB page,RIP SIR. Saw Devil's Den listed saw the cast and looked yep it's on TUBI. Watched it and went and ordered a copy of the DVD.

Take From Dusk Till Dawn,replace Clooney with Devon Sawa,or as the opening credits say DEON Sawa. Replace The Hammer with Ken Foree. Replace Tom Savini with Kelly Hu,an upgrade I would think. And you get Devil's Den.

Still curious why Jeff Burr used a alias on this. Had planned on getting a mutual friend to ask Mr Burr. Then well Jeff passed last year.

The plot? Devon/Deon and his buddy are smuggling Spanish Fly out of Mexico. I do wonder why they are smuggling it when every issue of Eazy Rider and Hustler I found in my dad's stash had it for sale. To test out how strong it is they stop at a bordertown strip club.

Kelly Hu is an assassin who has been hired to kill Devon. Ken Foree starts off as a Urkel like customer in the strip club but becomes a samurai.

Everything about this film makes me pose so many questions. Like why 10 years after the fact would you make a From Dusk till Dawn ripoff? Why is Burr using an alias? Why didn't anyone notice Devon's name was spelled wrong? Why isn't Kelly Hu a bigger name?

Now I enjoyed this. It is just one of those turn your brain off and enjoy horror films. More comedy than horror.

Devil's Den gets a B-

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 02 Bring it On Cheer or Die

 

TITLE-Bring it On Cheer or Die

SOURCE-Universal DVD

Yea everyone kind of remembers the first Bring it On movie. Cheerleaders,comedy and not a bad film. Who remembers the 6 or 7 sequels? Yea not many. In 2021 a new sequel came out. This time switching genres. Nope not a comedy aimed at teens this one is a SLASHER!!!

The Diablos are a cheer squad that loses at meets cause they aren't allowed to do stunts. Something about a girl dying doing them decades ago. 

Abby talks the lady in charge of them into allowing them for one big meet to do stunts. But the Diablos need a huge place to practice these new moves in. Only place big enough of course is the old abandoned school on the other side of town.

So the cheer squad goes. Not long after they start practicing one of the  girls twists her ankle. The dude ass stoner dude on the team packed a cooler but no ice,and they see that the bag with all their cells in it is missing now. 

After finding a list,with each member of the cheer squad listed as Hot Guy,Total slut,etc they realize something is up. Then 2 people in Mascot outfits show up and start killing off the Diablos.

Fairly decent kills,mostly practical FX work. And the reveal of who the killers is ain't bad. Like it isn't a total surprise but it also fits the feel of the film.

The surviving members of the Diablos a year later are at a meet and we get a twist that changes the film. Then boom credits roll.

Went into this expecting total junk. Over the past decade I have seen all the Bring it On movies and yea after that first one it is a fast downhill slide. Was surprised at how well done this movie was. And it is a modern slasher that doesn't feel like a Scream ripoff.

Bring  It On Cheer or Die gets a C+

31 Days of Horror 2024 Day 01 Ninja Vampire Busters

 

TITLE-Ninja Vampire Busters aka Vampire Busters

SOURCE-Video Asia DVD

Yes that is stolen Eerie Publications artwork on that DVD cover. Those covers are why I grabbed a pile of those Video Asia double features. Most  which have sat on my shelf unwatched. Wanted something I had never seen today and the title Ninja Vampire Busters caught my eye.

Made in 1989 this is a Hong Kong horror/fantasy/comedy. We  see a bunch of rebels attacking a place. The fat owner only wants to make sure they do not disturb a urn. Seems an EVIL SPIRIT is in that urn. The urn ends up going off a cliff and into the ocean.

500 years later the son of a rich man bids on this urn as a joke. The urn is won and ends up in the rich man's lavish apartment. Now yea I get that in a crowded place like Hong  Kong lavish means a place bigger than normal,but this apartment appears to be half the size of my home and my home is not that big.

The son's asshole friends are around and one of them uses the urn as an ashtray. Which releases the spirit. Who possesses various members of the family.

Leading up to a long fight at the end between someone who is possessed and what looks like the fat guy from the prologue but now with a shit stache.

No vampires in the film,mostly demon looking  things after someone becomes possessed by the evil spirit. And really no ninjas. Thinking this was retitled in the states to tap into that Ninja and Vampire trend in the 80s.

Way way more comedy than horror. And very broad comedy. But I have come to expect that with Hong Kong movies. 

This being from Video Asia I am sure they just toook some old ex rental VHS they found and did a straight dupe from that to a dvd-r. It looks like that was the case. The picture has that blurry look old cheap vhs had. The sound for the last 10 minutes goes up and down. And the film cuts off before thhe credits finish.

Ninja Vampire Busters gets a D+

No Holds Barred DVD

 

TITLE-No Holds Barred

SOURCE-WWE DVD

Oh man the late 80s. I was watching any wrestling on tv. Renting ppvs as soon as the tapes hit the video stores. And buying every wrestling mag I could find. You would think that I was there opening night to see No Holds Barred I bet. Nope.

Situation is unique. Growing up in the heart of Mid South Wrestling territory I was never a Hulk Hogan fan. Had  a feeling the movie was going to be really bad. Rented it once it hit VHS. Hated it and never bothered seeing it again.

Few weeks back vending at a indie wrestling event down on the gulf coast. Another vendor walks over sees I got a figure he wants. Asks if I wanted to work a trade. Walk over see his DVD rack and grabbed a few to make the deal.

Thinking ok maybe it is a so bad it is good film. NOPE. 

Hogan is Rip the biggest star in wrestling. Tiny Lister is Zeus the star of a tough man contest like sport. Where they fight in an 8 sided ring.

Hogan asks a guy if he is smelling dookie. Joan Severence shows her boney butt in some panties. And Hogan shows off his orange ass cheeks in a dumb scene.

The story behind the writing and filming of this film are much more entertaining than the movie. Stories of Vince and Hogan staying up 2 days in a hotel room writing the script,with rumored mounds of cocaine.

Love seeing people hate on Ready to rumble,which is WCW's version of No Holds Barred,then claiming NHB is good.

Nah they are both bad. Just that Ready to Rumble is bad in a watchable way. And this is bad in a "Oh man I loved this as a kid so now I watch it again to go back to my childhood" way.

No Holds Barred gets a F-