31 days of horror Day 29

Return to Horror high/Return of the killer tomatoes

Source- Anchor Bay double feature DVD

Two 80's horror comedies that both have George Clooney in them. Up first Return to Horror high. A film crew is filming in a high school where a few years back a series of bloody murders happened. Clooney plays a minor role,and he is the first one killed. This is your average slasher,but the touches of humor help raise it above crap like Prom Night,Happy Birthday to me,and Graduation Day. You get a nice cameo by Maureen McCormick as a cop that gets turned on by gore. Nice amounts of jump scares and gore. And the ending is something most people will never guess. Now Return of the Killer Tomatoes is more comedy than horror,but it has IMHO the best acting from Clooney. In this film you have Doctor Gangreen taking the killer tomatoes and turning them into humans with a process that involves music. One of these human/tomatoes runs away and falls in love with Clooney's roommate. Lots of sight gags,and cameos from cast from the first film. The product placement gag is one of the best I have ever seen. Return to Horror High earns a B-,and Return of the killer Tomatoes earns a B+.

Wondering why I did two films today? Mainly cause tomorrow I will be heading out on vacation and might not be able to do that days post to really late.

31 days of horror Day 28

Who can kill a child

Source- Dark Skys DVD

OK first off this was recommended to me by a friend who's opinion i trust. Well this time he steered me wrong. A British couple is on vacation in Spain. And the husband wants to go back to an island he visited many years back. They take a small boat there. When they get their the only people they see are all children. Turns out something has happened to the children on this island and they are killing off all the adults. The couple ends up being chased by the kids and finally they lock themselves in a jail cell in the local jail. A young kid,looks to be like 8 climbs up into the windowsill and tries to shoot them. The husband kills the kid and the wife freaks out. She is pregnant and not too much longer the fetus starts eating her from the inside out.This was the best scene in this almost 2 hour long film. The next morning the husband leaves the jail and heads to the dock to take the boat back to the mainland. On his way there he runs into the kids,and he guns down about 9 of them. Like an idiot he drops his gun and starts running to the dock. Of course the kids take up the chase. He makes it to the boat and the kids are right behind him. He starts fighting them off with an oar. As the kids are attacking him a police boat pulls up and sees him attacking the kids. The police officer shots him,and he falls dead into the water. The police go onto the docks,and the kids tell them the adults are right around the corner in the city. As the cops walk off the kids grab the officers guns off the cop boat and kill the cops. The movie ends with a group of the kids taking a boat to the mainland. Lots of things wrong with this movie. First off it has about 45 minutes worth of story but it runs almost 2 hours long. Besides one quick scene at the 30 minutes mark nothing much happens until the 1 1/2 hour mark. Both of the lead actors were pretty bad. The gore effects,what little their was ,were OK but nothing special. Who can kill a child earns a D-.

31 days of horror Day 27

Maniac

Source- Oop Anchor Bay DVD

Made in 1980,Maniac stars Joe Spinell and Caroline Munro. Joe stars as Frank Zito,who is a very very disturbed man. He was mentally and physically abused by his mother at a young age. And still suffers from that ordeal. When the horrors of this abuse becomes to much for him he prowls the seedy streets of early 80's NYC in search of women to kill. Frank ends up meeting a beautiful photographer who is played by Caroline Munro. Even when with him sorta dating this woman he still feels the need to go out and kill.This is a film that is mainly remembered now for the amazing Tom Savini effects. The shotgun to the head and the scalping scenes are still terrifying today. Spinell is a great actor that sadly died too young. Caroline is her usually adequate self,not a great actress but not horrible either. The main big problems with this movie is no-one will believe that someone as stunningly beautiful as Caroline dating Joe,and the ending. Up until the final 15 minutes the movie is great,but the ending where it seems the victims of Joe's previous killings come back to get him just doesn't work. The effects are good,but the scene doesn't fit in with the rest of the movie. Mainly cause the rest of the film is so grounded in reality. But overall this is a film anyone calling themselves a horror fan needs to see at least once. Maniac earns a A-.

31 days of horror Day 26

Joshikyôei hanrangun aka Attack girl's swim team vs the undead

Source-Museum DVD

Wow this was bad,but weirdly entertaining. Their is a new girl in school,her name is Aki. She is talked into joining the girls swim team. At the same time everybody at the school is being vaccinated for a new virus that is going around. Somehow this vaccination ends up turning everyone that gets it into a kinda zombie,well everyone but the girls swim team. The major weirdness starts when the math teacher freaks out and starts lobbing off various students limbs with rulers. Very bloody scene but the hacked off limbs look pretty bad. Aki and the rest of the swim team figure out that they are immune cause of the chemicals in the swimming pool. So they gather buckets of water from the pool and start throwing it onto the zombified students. It works and changes the students back to humans. They throw some of this water onto the English teacher,but she stays a zombie and attacks them. The swim team manages to outwit her and wraps her up in a chain. Then we find out that Aki is an orphan who was kidnapped at a young age and trained to be a water assassin. The guy who trained her shows up and they have a huge fight in the schools boiler room. While this is happening the rest of the swim teams arms themselves with weapons and goes to take out the zombies that are left. Turns out the English teacher got loose of the chains and she manages to kill all but one of the swim team. Aki finally kills her old mentor and runs into the remaining swim team member outside the school. This girl uses a nerve agent on Aki ,and while Aki is laying on the ground unable to move the remaining swim team girl is killed by Aki's old mentor. Turns out the mentor had a twin. Seeing that Aki is paralyzed the mentor attempts to rape her,but Aki is prepared. Seems she has hidden some kind of laser firing device in her well her vagina. She shoots a laser and the twin blows up. This covers Aki in blood. So she goes to the pool to clean off and have a swim.In the middle of swimming she up and dies. Then it is flashed on the screen that the nerve agent used on her causes heart attacks if you do any kind of exercise within 8 hours of being exposed to it. Like I said earlier this was bad,but still entertaining. Sure it isn't something I would have bought but since I got it from Netflix it was worth it. The acting was not so hot,the special effect were piss poor. the only real standouts was just the plain weirdness of the story and the cuteness of the actress that played Aki. Attack girl's swim team vs the undead gets a C-.

31 days of horror Day 25

Flight of the Living Dead Outbreak on a plane

Source- New Line DVD

On a plane trip from Los Angeles to Paris,a zombie outbreak happens. This is cause by a mutated strain of malaria. Once the virus is released no country will allow the plane to land. The UN ends up sending fighter jets to shoot down the plane. So 5 survivors must make their way to the cockpit and signal the fighter pilot that there is still people alive on the plane. By the time they make it to the cockpit one of them has been bitten by a zombie. The haggard group finally makes it to the cockpit and is getting ready to signal the fighter jet,when the jet launches a missile. They do manage to signal the fighter jet,but even with the jet pilot detonating the missile it is still to late. The missile explodes close to the plane and blows a hole in the side,this sucks out most of the zombies. They finally crash land the plane near Los Vegas. They think the zombie threat is over,but it is revealed to the audience that 4 zombies are still around. This film is an obvious clone of Snakes on a plane,but with zombies replacing the snakes. And while Snakes on a Plane had a pretty big budget this film didn't . And this film is the better of the two. Sure it's predictable. But it is fun. The cast is uniformly good,and the special effects are really well done. The zombies will piss off the fans that don't like fast moving zombies. Which is something I can't understand,most horror or zombie fans will agree that Return of the Living Dead is a great film. And that is the first film I am aware of that had running zombies. But back to Flight of the living dead,Good film perfect for a rental or even buying if you find it cheap. The DVD has 2 different commentaries,one by the director and producer. And the other is by the editors of IGN.com. To sum it up good fun little film,that has some comedy to help it out. Flight of the Living Dead gets a C+

31 days of horror Day 24

Rats Night of Terror

Source- OOP Anchor Bay DVD

After a nuclear disaster a band of survivors find an abandoned town. The discover that this town has huge supplies of food,so they decide to stay. Little do they know that this town also has a major rodent problem. The rats of this quiet town are many and bloodthirsty. One by one the survivors are killed by the rats in many graphic and bloody ways. Until there is only 2 people left. Then they get "saved" by the people that live underground. But are the underground dwellers still human? Made by Bruno Mattei in 1985,Rats is a very weird twist on the typical Italian Mad Max ripoff. Italian directors made lots and lots of post-nuke movies after the success of Mad Max,but this one has the twist of the killer rats. It is rumored that painted guinea pigs were used in place of the rats,but to my eyes it looks like real rats. The actors and actresses are what you will normally find in an mid 80's Italian ripoff movie,Not bad but not anything to write home about. Most of the gore effects are pretty good,and are a main reason the film is entertaining. Nowadays this film if remembered is remembered for the twist ending. Which really doesn't hold up if you think about it too much. But if you are looking for some to pass some time and something that you can just shut your brain off and watch you could do a lot worse than this. Rats nights of terror earns a B-.

31 days of horror Day 23

The Hills have Eyes-Unrated Remake

Source- 20th century fox DVD

A family of 7 are traveling though Yuma Flats heading to California. They stop at a gas station for fuel,and the gas station attendant tells them about a short cut. Turns out this is a set up,on the shortcut they end up driving over something that pops their tires. They crash into a rock. The dad and the oldest sister's husband head out to look for help. And as night falls all hell breaks loose. 2 mutated men attack the camper,while another ties the father to a Joshua tree and sets it on fire. After a gruesome battle,the oldest sister,the mom,and the father are all dead. And the oldest sister's baby has been kidnapped. The husband heads out to get his baby back,while the brother and younger sister stay behind. The two siblings booby trap the area around the trunk and camp and wait. The husband comes upon a town that was built when the government was testing nuclear bombs in this area. He sneaks into a house a finds his child there,but on his way out he is attacked by one of the mutants. He comes too and is inside a freezer that is full of various body parts. Turns out these mutants are the descendants of the miners that refused to leave the area when the nuclear testing was happening. The husband ends up killing most of the mutants and sees a younger female one running off into the hills with his child. He follows and has to fight off the leader of the mutants,the fight is long and bloody,but at the end he knocks him down and think he has killed the mutant. The young female mutant hands over the baby,and sees that the leader is about to attack the husband again,she ends up tackling the leader and they both fall over a cliff. Finally victorious the husband,with his baby in tow,head back to meet up with the other two. They hug and all that kind of happy shit. Then the camera pulls out and we realize someone in the hills is still watching them. The end. This wasn't a bad remake,it took parts of the Wes Craven original. But changed enough to not end up being a total rehash. The special effects were really good The makeup on the various mutants was a highlight for me. It is worth seeing,either by buying it for cheap or a rental. The Hills have eyes remake gets a C+ from me.

31 days of horror Day 22

House on Haunted Hill-William Castle Original

Source-Rifftrax DVD release

Ah a movie I loved when I was a kid. Vincent Price and his wife decide to throw a exclusive party at a supposedly haunted house. They invite 5 people,a airline pilot,a doctor,a drunk tabloid reporter,a Secretary,and a guy who's family owns the house. The all arrived in black cars and go to the living room to meet up with Price.Vincent shows them around the house,and they get to see the acid pit in the basement. Turns out 5 people have already died in this house. The deal is at midnight the doors will be lock from the outside and each person to spend the entire night in the house gets 10 thousand dollars. All kinds of cheesy spooky events happen,IE crazy old blind lady that seems to roller skate over the floors,Vincent's wife hanging her self then showing back up outside someones window,etc. In the end it turns out the doctor and Ms Price are working together to kill off Vincent. But he manages to outwit them. First time I saw this was many many years ago,a local UHF channel would show at least one horror movie every Saturday night. Even as a young kid this movie didn't scare me but it sure did entertain me. And it still does. House on Haunted Hill is a great horror classic to watch with young kids,and earns an C+.

31 days of horror Day 21

Motel Hell

Source-OOP MGM Midnite movie DVD

Farmer Vincent is well known for his smoked meats. But most people don't know what is in his smoked treats. Vincent and his sister run a motel,The Motel Hello. But the O in hello is usually burnt out so it says Motel Hell. Early on we see Vincent setting a trap on a road. It causes a wreck were the man is killed and his girlfriend is injured. Vincent takes the girl,Terry,back home to the motel. She slowly falls in love with Vincent. Late on night we see the farmer going to a fenced off place on the back side of his property. Inside is his secret garden,where he buries people up to their necks and force feeds them. When they get to the size that he wants,he uses a tractor to pop off their heads. Then he grinds them up into his smoked meat treats. For a movie with such a grim premise it actually is very funny. Vincent's sister is played by the heavyset female coach from Porkys. She helps him out with his meat business. The ending is a nice set piece of two guys fighting with chainsaws while one of them is wearing a giant pig mask. Good film,would be perfect to see at a drive in. Solid B.

31 daysof horror Day 20

Last House on dead end street

Source-OOP Barrel Entertainment DVD

I have no idea how to even begin reviewing this film. Up until I saw this I thought David Lynch was the only director capable of delivering the logic of nightmares to the big screen. Well now I know another man that can,Rodger Watkins. The only real way to describe this movie is someone managed to film a nightmare. What little plot there is is about a man,Terry,fresh outta jail. He decides to start making movies,and wanting to do something that hasn't been done before he starts making snuff movies. Watkins has admitted to being on amphetamines during the filming. And it shows. The movie jumps from one nightmarish scene to another. Very gory and very very disturbing,this is a movie that will stick in your mind for days after watching it. Sadly now that the DVD is outta print,and the VHS releases have always been hard to find,people will have to rely on either dvd-rs or bad bootleg VHS to watch it. I have been pondering in my mind what grade I would give it,and finally gave it a B-.