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Friday, November 9, 2018
Thursday, November 1, 2018
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
31 Days of Horror Day 31 TARANTULAS: THE DEADLY CARGO
Source-Svengoolie airing
Back in the 70s it felt like every few weeks one of the 3 networks would air a new made for TV horror film. Some were great like Duel. Some were middle of the road. Then some were boring like today's movie.
We start off with Tom Atkins and Howard Hesseman are smuggling a large amount of coffee beans fro Ecuador. Yea not drugs these morons are smuggling coffee. And in those black market beans is a deadly bunch of banana spiders.
The plane crashes right outside the town of Finleyville CA. These spiders have a fast acting deadly venom. People all over town start dropping dead.
While this movie is only 100 minutes long it feels like it was 6 hours. Not sure if the print Sven showed was in bad shape, but the colors look faded. And if I didn't know better I would think this was filmed on an cheap early 90s camcorder.
At least Sven's bits were entertaining. But they weren't good enough for me to ever watch this movie ever again.
Tarantulas:The Deadly Cargo gets a F+.
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
31 Days of Horror Day 30 Two Evil Eyes
Source-Vudu
Yep another film I read about in Fangoria. I was looking forwArd to this movie. Where George Romero,RIP, and Dario Argento would each adapt a classic tale of Horror from Edgar Allen Poe. Much time passed and the movie never played any theater near me. Saw that it was hitting VHS. But no video store I went to had a copy. Finally late one weeknight in 92 it aired on Showtime. So I stayed up till 2am to watch it.
Up first is Romero's part,The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar. Which is about a wife using hypnosis to get her elderly husband to give her control of his money.
The husband has a heart attack while hypnotized. So the wife and her lover hide they body. Which causes all kinds of creepy shit to start happening.
This is based on one of the few Poe stories I haven't read. Adrianne Barbeau is the wife. And for some reason she still has the crappy perm she had on Maude.
Over all it is decent. But I was expecting much more from Romero.
The second story is directed by Dario Argento and is based on The Black Cat. We get Harvey Kietel as the lead. He is a crime scene photographer.
This story is much better than The first one. It looks great. Has good sound design. Plus Harvey is a way more talented actor than Adrianne.
Sadly even though the film is based on stories from a great author,and has two mega talented directors at the helm...well it turns out to be average at best.
Two Evil Eyes gets a C+.
Monday, October 29, 2018
31 Days of Horror Day 29 The Fergusons
Source-Vudu
Was looking for something to watch. And saw that Vudu had a bunch of Horror films for free viewing. Then saw that 90s Skinamax star Monique Parent was one of the leads in this film and figured "Hell it's free give it a watch."
Ms Parent,her husband and two kids move into a new neighborhood. They seem a bit odd. And fairly quickly I figured out the twist. The family are all cannibals.
Yep it's a low budget ripoff of Parents. The acting is ok. And the FX work is ok. But the film has that cheap soap opera look. Well at least the film was barely over an hour long.
The Fergusons gets a C.
Sunday, October 28, 2018
31 Days of Horror Day 28 Zombie Strippers
Source-DVD
Set in the near future Zombie Strippers is set in a world where the USA is at war with numerous countries. Lacking troops a scientist creates a way to bring dead soldiers back.
One of these zombie soldiers get loose and a team of zombie hunters are sent to find it. One of the hunters gets bit. Becomes a zombie and wanders into a strip club.
He bites the feature dancer, who is played by Jenna Jameson. And she becomes mega popular as a zombie stripper. And starts turning all the other strippers into zombies.
The FX work is decent. The script isn't bad. What hurts this film is the horrible acting. With only Robert England ,as the club owner,being any good. Gotta mention the best scene in the film. Jenna and another Zombie stripper are fighting. And Jenna takes a billiard ball ,shoves it into her vagina and launches it across the room.
Zombie Strippers gets a D+.
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