31 Days of Horror Movie 22

A Nightmare on Elm Street remake
2010
Starz airing

I am not one of those horror fans that automatically hates every remake. I have actually enjoyed most of the modern remakes. This film broke that streak.

I had made the 3 hour drive to the coast. To visit family and friends. Plus I wanted to see this movie in a good theater. After leaving the theater I was pissed. The film was horrible. The only good thing was Jackie Earle Haley. And even then he wasn't that good. The acting was wooden. The FX work was mostly CGI and looked horrible. And the plot was very boring.

This is basically the same film as the original. But with a few small changes. In this one Freddy worked at some school. And you find out he sexually molested some kids. That is why the parents burned him alive. the only other change is for about half of the film you are lead to believe maybe he didn't do it. But it turns out he did.

Now I own every other Nightmare on Elm Street film. This one I have never bought. Maybe if I found the DVD for $5 I might pick it up. But $5 is still too much for this piece of shit.

A Nightmare on Elm Street Remake gets a F-.

31 Days of Horror Movie 21

Abraham Lincoln VS Zombies
2012
Bootleg DVD

This is the Asylum Mockbuster of the Lincoln Vampire Hunter film. Now I never saw that. But I did acquire a copy of this film.

Zombies have attack and Lincoln and some of his guards are all trapped in a Fort with a bunch of Confederate soldiers. We find out that as a kid Lincoln's Mom got bite and became a zombie. And this caused his father to commit suicide. Lincoln and his troops defeat the zombies. But he ends up getting infected. So he sends out a message to John Wilkes Booth. And has him come shoot and kill the president.

Sure this was cheesy. It is a Asylum film. But I was actually really entertained by it. The FX work is ok. Most of the acting is decent. And the plot is passable.

Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies gets a C-.

Asshat Podcast episode 16

Asshat Podcast Episode 16

Newt is joined by John and they talk about their favorite wrestlers. The 1978 horror classic Dawn of the Dead and the new season of Walking Dead. Plus Nadia does the second installment of "Dramatic readings of Knowledge from the Fucker from Hell".

31 Days of Horror Movie 20

The Wraith
1986
Platinum DVD

Before buying this DVD almost a decade ago I had never heard of the film. But after watching it ,it became one of my favorite 80s horror films.

Jamie is a young man who died and the body was never found. Packard Walsh is suspected of killing him. Packard leads a gang of car racers. And has a gorgeous girlfriend played by Sherilyn Fenn. Then one day a mysterious car shows up and starts killing off Packard's gang. Charlie Sheen also shows up around the same time as this mysterious car. He ends up hooking up with Ms Fenn. And we  find out at the end that somehow Jamie's spirit is now in his younger brother's body. The younger brother being played by Charlie Sheen.

This is sort of a prototype for The Crow. We get the guy coming back for revenge against the gang that killed him. I have wondered since seeing this film if maybe James O'Bar was inspired by it. Ms Fenn is great like she is in everything she has done. Plus there is a very short cameo by a late teens Brooke Burke. I don't even think she is listed in the credits. But the first time I watched the movie I noticed her.

The DVD sadly is full frame and has no extras. I know since this version came out a newer better version is out on the market. I will one day pick that up.

The Wraith gets a C+.

31 Days of Horror Movie 19

Piranha 3D
2010
Sony DVD

When this hit theaters I wanted to see it. But back then the local theater wasn't set up to do 3D. I waited for it to hit DVD and rented it. Really enjoyed the movie. But the DVD was 20 bucks. Then a year ago I found it for $5. Grabbed it and have watched it at least 3 times since then.

Some prehistoric piranhas get loose in a lake somewhere in the southwest. And of course this happens during spring break. So there is all kinds of teens and young adults running around drunk and naked.

The FX work is a nice blend of practical and CGI stuff. The piranha are mostly CGI. But lots of the gore is practical. The acting isn't bad. It has a 1980's B movie feel to it. Which is perfect for this movie.Elizabeth Shue is the stand out in the film. I haven't seen her in anything in years. But she is really good as the single Mom who is also the head cop of the town. Jerry O'Connell is also damn good as a sleazy Girls gone wild style guy. His death scene is one of the highlights of the film.

The DVD has an almost 2 hours long behind the scenes feature. And then a pretty well done commentary. Both of which make this a great DVD to pick up if you are a fan of extra features.

Piranha 3D gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror Movie 18

American Scary
2006
Netflix rental

Growing up the only horror host I knew was the short lived Sgt Graves. I heard about Elvira. But her show never aired in my area. It wasn't until 1990 and we got cable and TMC that I got to see another host. That was Joe Bob Briggs. I see people all the time talking about how great Monstervision was. But it sucked , the films were edited and packed full of commercials. His TMC show was so much better. No editing no commercials.

This documentary is about a huge amount of horror hosts. Going from the beginning of the fad till modern day. There is lots of archival footage and interviews with the hosts. And I really enjoyed learning so much about this American phenomenon. But they don't just interview the hosts. They talk to lots of fans. People like Neil Gaiman,Patricia Tallman and Curtis "Booger" Armstrong.

The DVD has a fun commentary on it too. Plus a few additional interviews. So it is worth checking out all the extras.

American Scary gets a B.

Asshat Podcast Episode 15

Asshat Podcast Episode 15

In a very special episode of Asshat,Nadia,Merc,John and Bat32 join me to talk about how we each got into the horror genre. So sit back and relax and enjoy this extra long episode of Asshat.

31 Days of Horror Movie 17

31 Days of Horror Movie 16

Ice Cream Man
1995
Mill Creek double feature DVD


Clint Howard plays the ice cream man in this film. As a young kid he watched his neighborhood Ice cream man get killed. After getting out of the mental hospital Clint becomes the new ice cream man. And he goes around killing people. In some pretty brutal ways.

This is a fun mid 90s comedy/horror hybrid. Clint Howard is always entertaining. And Olivia Hussy is really good as the nurse that still keeps an eye on Clint. I really loved the scene where Clint is serving ice cream to a cop and there is an eye ball in it. Clint has been mixing the people he has killed bodies in with the ice cream for years.

The DVD is bare bones. It just has this film and Jack Frost II on it. But it was cheap. I think I paid $3 for it. Ice Cream Man is worth tracking down. This is a film I point out to all the people that tell me no good horror came out in the 90s.

Ice Cream Man gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror Movie 15

Phantasm Oblivion
1998
Anchor Bay DVD

After waiting for years I finally got to see what is currently the final Phantasm film. I don't think this entry played any theaters. But Christmas of 98 I did a Phantasm marathon. And loved part 4 almost as much the original.

We start off right where part 3 ended. And in this film get a somewhat origin of the Tallman. Turns out he was known as Jebediah Morningside. And somehow invented the spacegates that have appeared in the various Phantasm films. Now this film won't make much sense if you haven't seen the previous 3. And even then it might take a few viewings to really understand what is going on. The ending is a little confusing. But still part IV is a major improvement of that shitty 3rd film. I am biased because the Phantasm franchise is one of my favorites in the horror genre. I love how the films are a weird mixture of horror and science fiction. Plus they have this dream logic feel to them.

Phantasm Oblivion gets a A-.