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AUTHOR-Jamie Gilson
Back when I was in 4th grade I grabbed a book at the 3 times a year school held Scholastic Book Faire. I learned after reading this book,the first time since I had went from books like Sweet Pickles and Dr Seuss to what I considered at the time grown up books I read an entire book in one day,that 4b Goes Wild was book 2 in what was planned to be a continuing series of books. I took a piece of notebook paper wrote down not only the title of book 1,which is the book pictured above,but also the other books from the same author.
Months later,my brain says it was summer ,at a used book store over in Gulfport while waiting on my mother and grandmother to finish trading in their books I found 13 Ways to Sink a Sub,with the same cover as the one pictured above. I grabbed it off the shelf. Walked up to the big register at the front of the store,where my Grannie was arguing with the owner over if they were gonna take some books Grannie was trying to trade in,showed the lady at the register the book. Since books were half off cover price I handed her a 5,got my change and told my mother I was gonna go sit outside in the car and read.
From then until 6 hours later I read that book. And loved it even more than 4b Goes Wild,which by this time I had read a few times. I made myself a mental note to keep looking for more books by Jamie Gilson.
Back in 2020 or 2021 I wanted to re-read 13 Ways to Sink a Sub. Looked and Amazon had a newer printing with the above cover cheap. Like a buck plus 3 for shipping. But like what happens lots of time between when I get the book in and I finish whatever I am reading ,the 13 Ways book got put in a box and buried. Found it about 3 months ago. And put it in the reading room.
Before I get into the plot of the book. I want to talk about how much the copy I have well the cover sucks. Look at that image. A chalkboard,which were phased out of schools before I hit 12th grade in the early 90s. A paper airplae and that is it. Look up top at that cover I had on my original copy. You see two kids and a lady,who I assumed was the Sub and turns out is. Plus that older copy had great art every chapter or so. The copy I got now no ART!!. Plus since I got the next 6 books in this series in hardcover I want my copy of 13 ways to be a hardcover with the art on the inside included.
Ok so the plot.
Hobie Hanson is our lead,his best friend is his neighbor Nick Rossi. They are in 4th grade,in 4b class. Mr Starr is their teacher. A strict but fair guy. One day during recess,where the SPIT PIT is introduced,the boys during a game of kick ball are talking about how one of their older brothers had a subsitute teacher not long ago. And they "sunk the sub" aka made her cry. But they doubt they will get a chance to sink a sub,causse Mr Starr is never sick.
The Spit Pit is a staircase near the field they play kickball in. When going back inside after recess the kids line up on the staircase near the spit pit and well Spit in it. Also lots of trash from the field blows up into the spit pit. When playing kick ball if a ball gets kicked into the spit pit all points scored off it arre doubled.
After a school report on China that doesn't go as planned,where Nick and Hobie got paired up with 4th grade boss girl Molly Bosco and her lackey Lisa Soloman,Mr Starr has to rush out of the room and goes home cause he is sick.
The school principal comes in and takes over the class for the last hour of school. But lets 4b know Mr Starr is very sick and will not be there the next day.
With all the kids now knowing they will have a sub the next day it becomes a bet. Who will sink the sub? The Boys or the Girls? Losers have to go fetch any ball kicked,during a game of kick ball,into the spit pit for the rest of the school year.
Nick,Hobie R.X Shea and Marshall while heading home plot out ways to sink the sub. And while we aren't told about it I am betting Molly and the girls are doing hte same.
Next day they meet their Sub,A student teacher who is about to graduate. Ms Svetlana Ivanovitch,who comes off as a bit of a free spirit/80s era child of the hippies. She messes up and lets the kids know she has never been a sub before.
The game is on. And the only rules are no one can rat out another student. For example during roll call Lisa answers to Molly's name and Molly answers to Lisa's name,No clue why Molly thought this might make the sub cry.Anyways no one is allowed to tell Ms ivanovitch they are lying. And rule 2 no physical attacks on the sub.
The rest of the book is the boys and the girls trying to make this sub cry. Molly keeping score on the chalkboard,which is not great cause Molly is of course biased against the boys.
Finally they do Sink the Sub. Earlier when they were going to gym,where they square dance and Nick spins someone too fast causing them to fly off and knock Ms Svetlana Ivanovitch over,one of the guys had plugged up the sink in the back of the room and left the faucet running.
When they get back to the room of course it is a flooded mess. Ms Ivanovitch stomps off mad. The kids realizing they might be in deep trouble start to try to clean it up. One of the boys takes a pile of paper towels that are sopping wet and says screw it and throws them hard against the ceiling. All of us that grew up when schools had those tile ceiling know wet paper sticks to that like concrete.
The door to the class room opens up and it is Svetlana ,armmed with mops and cleaning supplies. She tells the kids how she should have caught on earlier that they aren't babies and apologizes to them for treating them like young kids.
The kids are all now really feeling like crap.The door flies open again and now it is Molly' Grandma and the principal. The impact of the door flying open and hitting the wall causes the wet clump of paper towels stuck to the ceiling to fall. They land on Ms Ivanovitch's head. She starts laughing so hard that she is crying. WINNER THE BOYS!
Sure this isn't a kids book that is some big awards winner. It isn't even one that is well remembered. But when I was 9 this was my favorite book. And going back and re-reading it was a blast,even if my new copy is missing the interior art.
I mentioned earlier owning the other 6 books in the series in hardcover. All of which I got used and all over which are ex library copies. Many of them being from school libraries. Once I discovered there was at least 2 in the run I hadn't read and how cheap I could get them I had to .
As of the writing of this I have read the first 5 in this run.
1.Thirteen Ways to Sink a Sub
2.4B Goes Wild
3.Hobie Hanson You're Weird
4.Double Dog Dare
5.Hobie Hanson Greatest Hero of the Mall
I am in the process of reading book 6.
These books are very much set in the era they were written,which is mid 80s thru mid 90s. I do wonder how a modern kid would enjoy these. Cause so much stuff that is common place to modern kids is absent from these books. Very little mention of TV. Computers are something that get a passing mention in later books. And video games are not mentioned at all.
Thinking about doing written reviews of each of the books. No idea when the next will go up.
