QT Tuesdays&Thrsdays Worst to First 2 of 10

 

9-Kill Bill Volume 2

April 2004

Ok yea some will argue that Kill Bill vol 1 and 2 was meant to be one film. So it should count as 1 film. It was released as 2 films so I count it as 2.

Back when this came out a good buddy ran the theater in a near by mall. And if I went during say the middle of the day on a Tuesday usually he wouldn't charge me for a ticket asking me if instead of payin for a ticket I would buy a drink or a snack. But heey movie theaters make most of their money off the drinks and snacks.

The weekend Kill Bill vol 2 came out I had bought the first volume on DVD. We had not that long before this gotten a new tv. I 48 inch plasma tv. Invited over a few friends and we sat there watching Vol 1. All of us planning on going later the next  week. to see the movie for free.

The following Tuesday Chili Cheese Fries Chris and I were the only ones off work that day. After being asked if I minded driving  I  went picked up Chris head to the theater. And good news buddy was there manning the ticket booth. Got our free tickets then each bought a large drink and a popcorn. 

Sit down and Chili Cheese Fries Chris is slurping down his drink fast. Sure we got free refills on soda and popcorn  but QT movies are long films so you dont want a full bladder while watching one,as I learned with a movie that is further up this list.  CCF Chris then pulls a tiny bottle of Crown Royal out of his pocket pours all of it into his soda. Now I know why he was not only gulping down his drink but also why he asked me to drive. No biggie get your drink on Chili Cheese Fries Chris.

First half of the movie is fun. Love the fight between the Bride and Daryl Hannah. But after that first half the film goes to crap and thanks to CCF Chris our movie going experience went to crap.

During that whole long boring way to long dialogue scene The Bride and the pimp guy,Chris gets up goes to get his drink and mine refilled and my popcorn refilled. He comes back slurping down his soda again. Then out of his pocket appears another tiny bottle of Crown Royal. By now Chili Cheese Fries Chris is halfway sloshed. He just gets the last drop of the second mini Bottle into his soda cup when he loses his grip on the cup. It drops to the floor. Splashing up the liquor/soda mix onto CCF Chris. Then the cup rolls down to the front of the screening room.With  the strong smelling mixture leaking out of the cup as it rolls.  Theater reeks of liquor. And this movie reeks of padding and a director that the studio is afraid to tell "Hey this is too long. cut 20 minutes of the rambling talk that goes no where."

Leaving the theater even CCF Chris,in his drunk enough I had to make sure he made it into his house,was muttering about how the movie "sucked mostly."

When the movie hit home video I bought it and yep it wasn't made better by not having to smell liquor through out the last 3rd of the film.

If Kill Bill had been  released as one film the pacing  issue would be resolved. Plus betting the padding scenes would be gone.

But with those two major issues there aint no way this film could be considered one of QT's better films.

Come back next Tuesday at 12pm  central time for the next film.

QT Tuesdays & Thursdays Worst to First 1 of 10

 Was arguing not that long ago with the Metal Manlet,the dudee with the best/worst shit-stache ever over which of the so far 10 movies is Quentin Tarentino's best and worst films.

And by 10 films we meant the 10 that he directed and are available for viewing in full. So no My Best Friends Birthday,True Romance,Natural Born Killers or Four Rooms.

Starting with what I think is QT's worst movie here on this lovely Tuesday in December. 

#10-Death Proof

April 2007

Ya I know this is universally considered Tarantino's worst movie. What differs is how much the people that think it is his worse dislike this movie.

When Death Proof came out as the second film in Grindhouse,I was already not happy with QT. I decieded to not bother going to a theater to see this. Something that I had only done with 2 previous QT films. When it hit DVD I didn't bother buying or even renting it for close to a year.

Seems like for me I was right in skipping seeing this in a theater. And yes I know the DVD and Blu ray out there are a different cut of this movie from what was shown in Grindhous. And yes I have seen both cuts of this movie. I have had the Grindhouse cut of this and Planet Terror on DVD-r for years from when it aired on Starz. Unlike Planet Terror I prefer the Grindhousee cut of Death Proof. Mostly cause it is shorter and one of my big issues with the  DVD cut of Death Proof is the length. It feels like what happened with Stephen King in the book industry in the early 90s is now happening with QT in the film industry. They both are so big that no one will tell them "Hey asshat might need to edit that book/movie down."

Stunt Man Mike ,Kurt Russell,has made his stunt car DEATH PROOF. If you are sitting on the driver's side that is. And after long scenes adding more ammo to the people that bang on and on about how QT has a foot fetitsh,we get long scenes of a group of younger adult women having conversations. In which each of the ladies sounds exactly like any other character in a QT film having a long conversation about anything that has almost nothing to do with the plot of the film,.

QT appears as the bar tender. And Stuntman Mike offers a tipsy Rose McGowen a ride home. He kills her in a gruesome bloody way. But by the time I reach this point of the film I am already wishing this entire movie was a 30 to 45 minute segment in an anthology film. 

We time jump ahead some years. Again we get 4 women talking exacly like QT does. But this time it is kind of relevent to the plot.  These ladies are 2 stunt women,a make up lady and one of the stars of a film. They are bored being stuck in this rural tiny town. And one of the stunt women sees that a rare muscle car is up for sale. 

They go to check out the car,talk the star into staying behind while the other three take it out for  a test drive. Out oon this drive,while doing a dangerous stunt,that shows why Zoe Bell is one of the best stunt women of the modern era,Stunt Man mike appears and wants to kill these women. 

The three fight back. And we get a bunch of stuff taken from Faster Pussycat Kill Kill. End of film.

Man I wanted to like this movie. After seeing it the first time I thought maybe the Grindhouse cut will fix the issues. It helped but not enough. The cast is good. Kurt Russell is  amazing. Zoe Bell aint great at delivering dialogue,but she makes up with the ship's mast stunt. Plus Rosario Dawson is her normal movie stealing self. 

All of the above greatness can't make up for the bad pacing and long rambling chats in the movie. 

Which is why Death Proof is the worst of Quentin's Tarantino's movies for me.

Is it a horrible movie? Nope. Just he had ,be sides  one stumble before this,set the bar so high. 

So come back Thursday to see what film number  9 is.

Clerks 3 plus my history with this franchise AKA Goodbye Hippie Mike

 

It was a few weeks before Xmas in 1994. I was at the local second run theater with some friends. It was Friday which meant the theater woudl air Rocky Horror Picture show,starts at 11pm. And afterwards for one more dollar you got a second film. Sometimes it was a beat up print of a cult classic. Other times it was one of the movies the theater was showing a month after they had hit theaters.

We were lined up out front,enjoying a abnormally chilly december evening when I looked and saw the poster up top hanging. I remembered reading about Clerks in some film magazine,I am betting it was Film Threat. Once we got to the box office,and I saw the theater manager was running it that night,I asked her if there was any chance she could show Clerks as the second feature. "That is the plan. Watched it last night. Looks like a movie you oddballs would love."

Well after Rocky ended 80% of the crowdd got up and left. But close to 15 of us stayed. Sure since this was the rare movie theater back then that served beer,by the pitcher,I'm sure a few of the people that paid the buck to see another film were hoping to use that time to sober up some before heading home.

When the ending credits finished it was after 1am. We all piled in my Oldsmobile Delta 88 and headed home. Already a few lines from the movie were being quoted. "37? In a Row?" and "I aint even suppose to be here today"

Sunday when I finally woke up I called the theater to see how long they had Clerks. Got told "Well last night is the first time any tickets were sold for it. I still got it for a week. Unless it starts drawing that is it." Over the next 7 days I tried my best to convince everyone I knew to go see it. But when the next weekend hit and we were lined up again to see Rocky Horror I noticed Clerks was gone. Learned that in the 17 days she had the print 19 tickets were sold for the film.

Back then I rarely kept track when new movies where hitting home video,I was more concerned with tracking  down all the 70s horror movies I hadn't seen yet. But with Clerks I knew the exact date it hit VHS. And I had a copy pre-ordered through a local media store. Clerks was also a major reason  why I got a laserdisc player. I had been wanting  one for years. Then learned that Kevin Smith was a huge lasersdisc fan. And how the Clerks laserdisc not only had a commentary but cut scenes and the original ending of the film. This original ending I had read about in some  mag.

Before Feb of 97 that vhs of  Clerks had been watched so many times I had to get a new copy. Plus when  Mallrats hit theaters we learned that the nearest to us it was playing was two states to the east. So again pile up in the Olds Delta 88 and drive almost 3 hours to see Mallrats.

Now sure I saw and enjoyed Mallrats,Chasing Amy,Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike back. But Clerks was still my favorite of the View Askewiverse.

In early 97 I moved. And for close to 2 years I was swing manager at a convience store. At this job I introduced every coworker I had to the film. And since I have dark hair and usually got a mustache/goatee combo my name badge at this job said Dante for years. It was alsto through this job that I met my best friend for the decade I lived in Southeast Texas. Hippie Mike,he was a guy that had by the late 90s faced some rough stuff. He was drafted right out of high school to go into the navy and over to Vietnam. Mike became a huge Kevin Smith fan. And any time a new Smith came out Mike was there with me opening night to see it.

Lots of our friends would joke and claim that Dante was Mike and Randal was me. And I could understand that. Mike like Dante tried to always see the best in any situation. Randal like me,espically back then,was a cynical asshole who always noticed the negative.

When the Clerks cartoon debuted Mike and I and a pile of friends watched it. Hell I had a brand new VHS tape ready to record it,in SP mode to get the best quality. And when the second episode aired I recorded that. Of course that is all ABC aired.

Then Oni Press started publishing Clerks One shot comics. And around the same time Jay and SIlent Bob Action figures were made. Hippie Mike by this time had lost his mother,his grandmother and his sister. He had no family left really. And my family kind of adopted him. That year for Xmas Mike bought me the Jay and Silent Bob figures.

I was now online. And hearing about Smith's next movie Dogma. Opening night first showing  Hippie Mike and I were there. Watching the 9 or so protestors out front of the theater. Sure I loved the movie,like Kevin Smith my mother tried to raise me Catholic,but after the Clerks cartoon and comics I wanted more Dante and Randal,and I wanted more Quik Stop and RST Video.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike back comes out. Again  went with Hippie Mike. We liked it but it felt like the least of Smith's Jersey films. So when in the ending credits Smith hinted that Clerks II was out next I jumped up and cheered.

Well  that Clerks cartoon,by now it was out on home  video.Which included all the unaired episodes. And Comedy Central was airing it often.

Now Hippie Mike by this time had learned he had lung cancer. He had been exposed to all kinds of stuff while in the Navy. He got declaired fully disabled. And was getting a disability check. But all of us quickly noticed that without a schedule Mike was getting bad off. He would sleep for 2 days straight. Forget to eat. Most of us were getting really worried about him. So at least every other day one of us would go by and check on him.

Normally on Wednesdays I would get off from work,run  by my local comic shop get my comics. Then run by see Mike and take him out to eat. I was almost to Mike's place when my cell rang. I looked it was Mike. He never called my cell so I was worried. "Yea I' m almost there you ok?" Got told he had great news and hurry up and get there.

I  pulled up ,parked my car. Was on his front steps about to knock when I heard him tell me to come on in. Before I could even tell Hippie Mike hello He yelled "CLERKS 2 IS  COMING OUT SOON!" I hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. He showed me on his computer the news. And I told him we were going to see it my treat.

Months later Clerks 2 comes out and we go a few days after it came out. My eyes have always been very  sensitive to light and by this time I had noticed the local movie theaters would be packed with teens. Teens who  couldn't go more than 15 minutes without using their phones to text someone. Sure they weren't talking during the film. But the bright screens would distract and blind  me in a dark theater. So our plan was go  on a weekday around 1pm. YOu know when  the teens should be in school. 

I took the day off work. The girl I was with at the time came with me. We went picked up Mike. Went  out to eat. Then headed to the theater in the mall. It was the closest theater plus a buddy was the manager.So if he was there we could get snacks for a big discount.

Bought our tickets. Saw my buddy was there. We each got a large soda and a large popcorn for a huge discount. Go into the theater and it is us three. Who sat about half way up the riser seats in the dead middle. About 3 people further up who's faces I knew from the comic shop. And that was it. I took  my cell turns it to vibrate. Thought this is gonna be fun.

Then a group of 10 teenageres walk in. They sit on the first row of the risers. Now the lights were still on and those mega easy movie trivia questions were playing. I noticed how every few minutes one of these teens  would pull out their phone,type out a text. Then another of the teens on that row would get the text and reply. I figured ok once the lights go down they will stop.Lights dim  trailers start and the teens are quiet and not texting.

About 45 minutes into the film the teens started texting again. And I was getting pissed. I stoood up whispered to her "I'm going down  to say something to them" got told "Dont cause a scene". Walked down  tapped the teenage boy on the last seat on  the row on the shoulder . When he turned  and was facing me I quietly said "Hey man whenever you send or get a text that bright screen is distracting. Would you mind waitingg till the film is over to do that again?Please."

The teen looked at me laughed"Fuck off old man" So I was pissed but walked back to my seat. 5 minutes hadn't passed when  the teen sent  or got a text. When he did i saw him hold his cell up high,then  turn his head and look at me and smile.

In one fluid motion  I grabbed my half full large soda out of the holder on the armrest,and hurled it right at that kid's head.It hit him on top his head and him and the guy next to him got drenched. 

"What the fuCk!" yelled the one kid. Then he got up and him and the other wet kid left the theater. Then the movie stopped and the lights turned on. I see the  two kids coming back in,hear them  yelling. Then see my buddy the manager. "Ok  point at who threw the Coke at ya" Of course the two point at me. He motions for me to come down "It's alright folks. Gonna get this settled and we will start the movie back up."

"Well REDACTED did you throw your Coke at this guy?" Told him yep. "Why did you do it?" Told him about asking them to not text being told Fuck off old man. The  whole time we are talking all the teens are looking at me and smiling. "Well here at this theater we got a strict policy about .... minors being  in  R rated movies!" THen he asked all the teens for their IDs. "ANd if you are underage you have to leave.". Turns out they were all underage. Still not sure why there weren't in school. So he kicks them out. Then starts the movie back up and brings me a new large Coke "And try to not throw this one  at someone OK"

For years after this Hippie Mike would tell people about it. That year since he had no family left I told him to come with me to visit my family for Xmas. My mother asked for a gift idea for him,and me too. And I told her to get us Clerks 2.

That year Xmas night my father,Hippie Mike and I shared a 12 pack of beer,watched Clerks 2. And laughed so much  Dad almost pissed himself.

Fall of 2007 I moved. Left Texas and moved back to MS. For the first 2 years I was back in MS I would call and check up on Hippie Mike once a week. He  came to see us for Xmas those 2 years.

After a major Hurricane hit that area Mike decided to move to Arkansas,he had family in that area. And after his lung cancer being  in remission for close to 12 years it had come back.I started hearing from Hippie Mike less and less. Until one day close to 5 years ago at the same time I got a call,a text and a message on FB. All from friends out in Texas. All telling me that Mike had been found  dead in his place. Sadly it appeared he had been dead for at least a week. Seems he had a heart attack.

I hated having  lost contact with Mike. The guy was like the older brother I never had. I hated how after I moved out of Texas some  scumbags took advantage of MIke. Like 2 years before I moved Mike got a huge settlement check. One big enough that between it and his monthly disability checks Mike should have been set for life. Nope a flakey scumbag that I won't name took advantage of Mike's lonliness and within 8 months had gotten  all of the money Mike got in that settlement. And when that money was gone so was this scumbag.

Was years later I heard that Kevin Smith was making  another Jersey film. And of course first thing  I thought about how this would be the first film in the series since Mallrats that I didn't goto the movie theater with Hippie Mike to see it. I wasn't even gonna see the movie. Skipped a chance to see it in  a  theater.  And it wasn't until I got it on DVD cheap that I watched it. Honestly on that first viewing I didn't like it. 

So finally after years and years of talk Clerks 3 is filmed and given  a kind of touring roadshow movie theater release. It did play close to me ,but after the  wet fart that Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was,plus not really wanting to see a new Clerks film without Hippie Mike I skipped it. 

Tired to avoid spoilers. All I knew was that something happens that either you will be pissed about or you might end up crying over. Then  I heard that Clerks 3 would hit streaming for rental or purchase in November. And goto DVD/Blu  ray in early December. My plan at the time was get it on Blu ray as a Xmas present. And like the year Clerks 2 came out,getting a 12 pack of beer,but this time splitting the beer with just my father.

The day  Clerks 3 hit streaming I wasn't feeling  good mentally. But my angel knew how to cheer me up. "Go check the Vudu account  you got an early present." I go look and there is Clerks 3. 

SPOILERS FOR CLERKS 3

Once I started the film and learned that between 2 and 3 Rosario Dawson's character Becky had died,along with her and Dante's child,I figured that is what pissed off a pile of people. I wasn't mad but also wasn't that mad about her having died.

The more of the film I saw the more I saw that Dante was just a Gen  X version of Hippie Mike. A guy who life had shit on many times. But he kept going  on. 

So when Dante  has the heart attack. It  hit me hard. Then when Randal takes the edit of his movie to the ICU and him and Dante watch it no lie I was tearing  up. When  they showed Dante in his head sitting in a theater and watching the movie I knew I was gonna need some tissues. But when Rosario  appeared and laid her head on Dante's shoulders that is when I knew Dante was gonna  die. And when he did I stopped the movie. It felt like I had lost Hippie Mike again.

Since that night I have bought the Blu Ray of Clerks 3. And watched the movie 3 times,once with the commentary  and 2 times without it. Watched all the extras. And each viewing when  Dantes and Becky stand up to leave the theater it gets extremely dusty in whatever room I am in.

I never thought  back on  that cold night in December 1992 that this b/w white  low budget movie about two slackers working in  a conveince store and a video store would become one of my favorite films. ANd each time I watch Clerks 3 I keep thinking "Man I wish  Hippie Mike was  here to see this."

So Mike my older brother,I hope you know how much you are missed by so many people. I hope yoiu realized how much good you did for so many. And I wish you were still here.I know  if you were you would love Clerks 3. Miss you brother. Thank you for all that you did,not only for me but for so many others.

3 modern lesser known tv shows based on comic books.

 As a kid I would watch any movie ,cartoon or tv show based on a comic. Which it being the mid to late 70s meant I watched some good stuff,like the Superfriends every Saturday morning on ABC. And some crap like the first of the 2 made for TV Captain America movies.

Even skipping ahead till I was almost 18 and it was rare we got a good film,cartoon or tv show based on a comic. Sure there was stuff like Tim Burton's first Batman movie or Spiderman and his Amazing friends cartoon. But I would watch it all .

Now thanks to the explosion of the Marvel movies at the box office,and all the new streaming services their is demand for comic book tv shows,cartoons and  movies. With so many there is always a few that get over looked.

I figure if you are reading this blog you already know about stuff like Arrow and Flash on CW,Flash was decent for the first season and 1/2 Arrow on the other hand I never liked. And seems like I am one of the few that didn't watch all of Daredevil on Netflix.  No way would I have believed every 10 years ago that stuff like Preacher,The Boys and Sandman would get TV shows that are hits.

But as I said earlier there is some I feel get over looked. Here is my list of 3 that I think most people that enjoy comics or enjoy comic movies/tv shows/cartoons should check out.

Up first is the newest show on the list. Based on the famous underground comix Fabulous Furry Freak Bros is an animated TV Show on TUBI. Which means it is free. Each episode is close to 30 minutes long.

Now the comic was about the "adventures" of 3 stoners aka Freaks that lived in the 60s/70s.  It was a huge hit and even had it's own board game. In the first season of the cartoon these 3 get sent into the modern world. So the first season was about them and Fat Freddy's cat figuring out how to live in a very different world.

Good animation and a great voice cast,they got John Goodman as one of the bros,made this a can't miss show for me. IIRC new episodes hit TUBI on Sundays. Last I heard it was a huge hit and TUBI has comissioned a second season. 

AFAIK the comic is easy to find in various collections. I have read scans of the main series and it wasn't bad. 

So since I started with an Indie comic going to DC next. And the next show has had 3 seasons so far. Starting off on DC's short lived streaming service,which was a good idea but too nichie to survive,then folding into HBOmax,Doom Patrol  takes it's basic premise from not only the 60s Doom Patrol comics but also the late 80s thru mid 90s run from Grant Morrison.

Who are the Doom Patrol? Well they are a group of heroes/heroines that think they are freaks and hated by mankind. So a super genius in a wheelchair bands them together to fight crime. Yea I know sounds a lot like the X-men. And both teams appeared so close together there is little chance one was copied from the other. And like the X-men,Doom Patrol in the 60s wasn't a huge seller. It got cancelled and the writer killed off the entire team in their final issue.

Then in the 80s in the classic acclaimed New Teen Titans series Wolfman/Perez brought back Robotman. And the Doom Patrol's main villian team of bad guys. Then not long after that in a great annual of Secret Origins John Bryne retold the origin of the original Doom Patrol. Then retold the origin of the short lived revival of the Doom Patrol in the 70s. Then at the end of this comic it was strongly hinted that soon the Doom Patrol would come back.

When the comic did come back I loved it.But it wasn't selling well. So around issue 18 or so a new writer was brought on board and told "Do whatever you want. You got 6 issues to increase sales or the title is cancelled"

Grant Morrison was the new writer and he went wild. Killing off the DP members he didn't like. And even slowly over a few years bringing back most of the original members. 

So far,now I still need to finish season 2 of the TV show,the Doom Patrol series on HBOMax is really inspired by the Grant Morrison run. While also adding new elements.

You got Brandon Fraiser as the voice of Robotman.  Robotman was always my favorite on the team and Brandon is great as Cliff. Cliff was a race car driver. Got into a major accident and all that was saved was his brain. Which The Chief,Timothy Dalton as the leader of the Doom Patrol,puts CLiff's brain into this robo-body. Cliff is the defalt leader of the Doom Patrol.

Then there is April Bowlby as Rita Farr aka Elasti-girl. She was an actress,best known for her looks and many trips on the casting couch,who gains the ability to change the shape of her body. Her emotions control her body so once she gains these abilities she can't act anymore. IIRC in the Morrison run on the title it was revealed that when the original team "died" the only one that stayed dead was Elasti-girl.

Already mentioned that TImothy Dalton is The Chief. Who was the leader of the original team,and in the Morrison run comes back and has a nasty secret revealed about himself and the rest of the team.

Matt Borner as Larry Trainor aka Negative Man,is the other member of the original team. Well member of the original team that was there from the start. He got exposed to radiation while being a test pilot. This causes Larry to radiate radation out of his body. He is basically trapped in a lead cell to prevent him from hurting anyone. When he gets sent special bandages. Which stop the radation in his body from leaking out. Larry also learns that inside him is a radioactive duplicate. Who he can send out to do stuff.Larry so far is the character that is changed the most from the comic. Now I know that in Morrison's run and then in Rachel Polluck's run it is strongly hinted that Larry might be a gay man. In the show this isn't hinted it is flat out said.

In season 1 there is 2 other members of the team. First up is Diane Guerrero as Crazy Jane. Jane has 64 different personalities and each of them has their own superpower. Before this show all I had seen Guerrero in was Orange is a New Black. And well on that show she wasn't given much to work with. So I was a bit worried when I heard Diane had been hired to be Crazy Jane. I love Crazy Jane. She was my favorite member of the Morrison run of Doom Patrol.

Was suprised when I saw that Diane Guerrero is a great actress. She is perfect as Crazy Jane. Love how they have slowly introduced her alt personalities. Plus how like in the comic we are seeing how Cliff and Jane are falling in love. Maybe a slight spoiler,but when Morrison was leaving the title he asked if he could write his final issue as an ending for the series. He left it set up where the next writer could ignore what Morrison set up or use it. In this issue Jane is somehow in the real world. Trapped in a mental hospital. Jane is being told all her adventures with the Doom Patrol were not real. And the one thing that really gets to Jane is she is told that Robotman doesn't exist. Jane realizes she is gonna have to pretend to be better to get out. She does this. Gets out and goes to a bridge. Planning on jumping to her death. When out of nowhere Robotman appears. Tells her he has searched most of the multiverse for her. Then invites her to come with him and live the rest of their lives together on Danny the street. Great ending for a great comic. And one I hope they use on the show.

Now while he isn't an official member of the team yet on the show I gotta talk about Danny the Street. Danny is a sentient street. Who communicates by changing the text on the windows of the business on the street. Danny the street can travel and take whoever is on the street to anyplace in the world. After meeting him,assuming Danny is a male cause well Danny is usually a male name,the Doom Patrol starts using Danny the Street as their main form of transportation. Danny appears in season 1 and in season 2.

The last official member of the team in season 1,doesn't join into a bit into the season. That is Vic Stone AKA Cyborg.  Pretty sure in the comics Cyborg was never in the Doom Patrol. But he fits in perfectly in the tv show. Like the rest of the original members Cyborg feels like a freak. The actor playing him in this show is great. And I like how the FX crew managed to make Cyborg look so much like he did in the classic New Teen Titans comic. Keep hearing that DC wants Cyborg to be a huge hero for the company. Which is why he was added to the Justice League movie. So far besides the Teen Titans cartoon this Doom Patrol tv show is the only time I have seen Cyborg used right.

Most of season 1 is the team fighting MR Nobody and trying to figure out where the Chief has disappeared too. When this was airing it was one episode a week. And I didn't have the DC streaming service. SO whatever night it aired I knew which dailymotion channel was bootlegging it. Soon as they had their copy uploaded I would rip it and watch it.

When season 1 hit home video of course I grabbed it. Season 2 starts and I was doing a free trial of the DC Streaming service. Watched 2 episodes and my free trial ended. I figured I would just buy season 2 on DVD. I did that and watched 3  episodes and misplaced the dvds until recently.

Now my last show gonna goto Marvel. And to a property of theirs I am shocked they hadn't tried a live action show of before this. The show I am talking about is The Gifted. A 2 season long action/drama on FOX.

Set in the slight future,where all the X-men have vanished and the government uses robots to hunt down and capture mutants.

A dad who works for the government group in charge of capturing the mutants finds out his two teenage kids are mutants. These two are basically Fenris from the comics. Well power wise. 

The dad,mom and kids go on the run. And quickly get hooked up with the mutant underground. Which is made up of some great X-men characters that I rarely see used outside the comics. Warpath,brother of Thunderbird,is one. An Native American mutant. He is basically the mutant version of Captain America. Then there is Polaris,who in the first season is in jail. A lady mutant with magnetic powers like Magneto. Another is Blink. Blink can teleport. 

There is many other mutants introducedd in the 2 seasons the show got. Keep hearing that while the ratings were decent. The show cost a fortune to make. And wasn't getting good enough ratings to justify a 3rd season.

Well hope yall enjoyed that. Might do another of these soon. Cause there is shows like Legion,on FX and another X-men related show,Cloak and Dagger,2 seasons on ABC family. Or not from Marvel there is Constantine,DC show based on the same comic of the movie of the same name, and Umbrella Academy,based on a comic from Dark Horse wrote by the lead singer of My Chemical Romance.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Stats

 Well this is the 23rd year of me doing my 31 days of horror. And since 2008 They have been posted here at my blog.

Took a bit of time and came up with some stats for the 31 films this year.

Out of the 31 choices 20 of them were stuff I owned. 11 of those are DVDs.6 of those are Blu Rays.2 were DVD-rs and 1 was a mp4 file.

With 20 of them being stuff I owned that means I streamed 11 of the films. Shudder has the most at 4,not surprised with Shudder being a HORROR streaming service. Second place  is NetFlix with 3,again not surprised. 3rd place is a 4 way tie between Vudu,Hulu,Tubi and Paramount Plus.

10 of the films were things I saw for the first time. Not bad I try my best each year to have close to a 3rd being stuff I had never seen.

Worst film is Leatherface with a D-. This is the recent prequel movie. That is a killers on the run movie. Total crapfest and almost the worst TCM movie.

Best film was Nightmare on Elm Street 3 with a A. But Mass Hysteria with an A- is a close second.

Out of all the films I watched I don't own Mass Hysteria is the one I want to own. Do not think it has a physical release so far. And it only being 66 minutes long I doubt it plays on TV much.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 31 Orphan First Kill

 

TITLE-Orphan First Kill

SOURCE-Paramount Plus

Normally I don't review a film for 31 days of Horror the year of their release. Wanting to give me time to at least watch the movie a few times. Orphan First Kill is an exception. Cause since it hit Paramount Plus earlier this year I have watched it 4 times.

Back when it hit DVD I blind bought The Orphan and really enjoyed it. So when  I heard a prequel was being made many years later I wasn't sure if it would be good.Boy was I wrong.

Set years before the first film,this film shows us how Esther got started pretending to be a kid and killing people. And what a start. Less than 10 minutes into the film we are getting some very graphic over the top kills.

Esther gets taken in by a family that think she is the husband's missing sister. And over the course of the film we get so many twists.

Sure you know going into the film that Esther can't die. With this being a prequel. But even with that restriction the film manages to be as much fun as the first film.

What surprised me the most is how they managed to make the actress playing Esther to look 11. When she made the first film she was really close to the age she was playing. But now years later she is in her mid 20s. But by doing all kinds of tricks they make it appear that she is still a pre-teen.Like how most of the cast wore platform shoes so they were taller than Esther. And how thru lighting and  make up they made Isabell Fuhrman look younger than she is.

From what I have seen and read this film  was a hit. So hoping we get another entry in this franchise.

Orphan First Kill gets a B+

Fangs Review

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 30 Alone in the Dark(1982)

 

TITLE-Alone in the Dark(1982)

SOURCE-DVD-r made off the old Image DVD release

Now this is a 80s slasher I had never seen until earlier this year. CodyLL of Cody's blog,check the link list on the right,had gotten the Scream Factory Blu Ray of the film and offered to mail me the old DVD-r of the film.

Sure I had heard of this film,and even seen a small clip that was shown in Terror in  the Aisles,which like this film has Donald Pleaseance. But never saw Alone in the Dark on VHS,never saw it airing on  Cable. Hell I didn't even know of the movie until about 20 years ago. Feels like this is a forgotten slasher which is odd.

It is odd cause it has a big cast of stars. Sure Donald Pleaseance is in piles of horror films,but this also has Jack Palance and Martin Landeau. Plus while he isn't a huge star not long after this film he became a big tv star thanks to A-team,Dwight Schultz.

Donald helps run an insane asylum. Jack,Martin and 2 others are in the dangerous ward. Where they are kept locked up by electronically controlled doors. A Dwight is the new head of the place. Which angers our 4 mentally ill people cause they no longer have Donald there to help them.

So one night when the power goes out these 4 escape and steal a van and head towards Dwight's new home. Where his young daughter is. 

In Terror in the Aisles there is a scene with Martin in a van following a deliveryman on a bike. Martin talks about how he wants the man's hat. And ever since I first saw Terror in the Aisles I loved this scene. Landau comes off as not only crazy but pure evil.Using this hat Martin goes to Dwight's home,pretending to be delivering a telegram. Dwight ain't home. 

There is a great scene where lots of the town is looting a local shopping center,what else do you do when the power goes out. See one of the escapees is known as the Bleeder. Because he has nose bleeds often. He also always keeps his face hidden. Which leads to a twist near the end of the film. And one of the 4 escapees has on a hockey mask. And rips a dude's throat out with a garden trowel. Not sure but I think this came out a year before Friday the 13th part 3,so this might be the first slasher to have a killer in a hockey mask.

Now this isn't an amazing film. But it is way better than I expected. It has this weird sleazy feel to it. Which is really evident in scenes like when the one member of the crazies,who is know for attacking kids,is alone in Dwight's home with the young daughter. 

The picture and sound on this DVD-r ain't bad. It looks like a decent DVD. Colors and light levels always look decent. Huge thanks to Cody for supplying me with this copy of the film.

Overall Alone in the Dark is a early 80s slasher I would figure would be a much bigger deal. You got a great cast. It has a neat premise I hadn't seen in  other films of the sub genre. And it has that weird feel to the movie. 

Alone in the Dark gets a B.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 29 Mass Hysteria

 

TITLE-Mass Hysteria

SOURCE-Shudder Streaming

Been close to 4 years now I have had Shudder. Sometimes I got months without watching anything on it. Then I will watch nothing but stuff off it for weeks. 

I was looking for something short,knowing I was busy today. Saw this was 66 minutes and that is perfect. Sure that is not really even feature length,I've always been told a film has to hit 70 minutes to be feature length. So yea I get it if some claim this isn't a feature film. But I have covered shit of similar length like episodes of Masters of Horror.

And that is what this feels like. What if Masters of Horror stayed on the air and this is season 9. I loved Masters of Horror and damn it Mass Hysteria is a fucking fun and well made film. That cause of it's odd length I bet is forgotten soon.

Paige is a actress who just booked her first role in a major production in NYC. Currently she is doing the Halloween season in Salem Mass as part of the witch trial re-enactments.

It's her last night. She does what she has done for years now each night and accuses someone in the crowd of being a witch. Then curses them. But this time the frat jock douchebag she picks fucking dies. 

Causing all these drunk college kids to believe Paige is a real witch and the rrest of the film is her and the rest of the acting group on the run from these morons.

Sure you see a few things through out the film that hint that there might be more to the people trying to kill Paige,a rash on a few hands. But a major twist at the end causes that to be handwaved away.

This being 66 minutes I doubt you see it much on cable. Not much woould have to be cut to make it playable on cable. I see this just kind of being forgotten,if it is even known now. 

Mass Hysteria gets  A-

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 28 BrightBurn

 

TITLE-Brightburn

SOURCE-Tubi Streaming 

Wanted something that was horror and another genre mixed to watch today. So went to Tubi,the best of the free services for horror and just oddball shit. Saw they had added Brightburn and what the hell it is horror/capeshit. 

For those that have no clue what Tubi is and are old enough to remember the video store days. Netflix,Hulu and Disney+ are like Blockbuster/Hollywood Video and Family Video. But Tubi and Amazon Prime? They are that grubby mom and pop local video store. It opened in 1980 and has just one copy of any tape. But has stuff you don't find other places like The Cars that Eat People or both Evil Dead movies. Tubi has ad breaks but they are short and you get like 5 or so per movie. So free and not plagued with ads.

Started up the movie and looked it up to see which poster art I wanted to put up top. Most of them looked like that or were a tiny variant of it. Wait this came out in 2019???  Was thinking it was 2015 or so. But it makes sense it was 2019 I had posted a video about Rick Veitch's Maximortal vol 1 tpb and someone asked me if I knew about the movie ripping off the comic.

Elizabeth Banks and her husband can't have kids,and live in Brightburn Kansas on an old farm. A rocket crashes and in it is a baby. They adopt the baby and hide the rocket  in the barn. 

Yea this sounds like the Superman story,which it is. But when this kid hits 12 and puberty hits he starts gaining his powers. He gets mad the pushmower isn't working right and slings it across the yard. Then has this wanting to shove his hand into the still rotating blade. 

When on a camping trip withh his dad,after getting the Sex  talk,this creepy kid floats to the house of some classmate he is crushing on. Is floating outside her second story window and the girl sees him.

The only thing that appears to harm this kid is the ship. Which gets destroyed near the end of the film,in a great scene. And it ends with us seeing news reports of Brightburn rampaging all over the world. Leaving me to think we might get more films. 

The film cost close to 12 million and made a bit over 32 million at the box office. So I am sure after home video and all that it made 3 times what it costs. But no sequel in sight sadly.

Does Brightburn rip off Maximortal vol 1? No not really. They both use the age old "What if Superman was evil and a moody teen" idea.  This idea was done before Maximortal and part of the story when Veitch told it was parodying the already well mined trope of evil Superman.

I enjoy Brightburn. Sure I rather have a Maximortal movie. But that ain't happening. Sure I wish we got another film in this series. But yea looks like that ain't happening  either.

Brightburn is worth watching and appears to making  the rounds  on the various streaming sites. Brightburn gets a B.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 27 The Wasp Woman (1995)

 

TITLE-The Wasp Woman AKA Forbidden Beauty

SOURCE-DVD-R made from premiere airing on Showtime in 1995

Somehow out of all these mid 90s Roger Corman Theater remakes of older mostly PD films I have seen the 95 Wasp Woman remake,known as Forbidden Beauty in some areas,the most. Saw it when it first aired,cause I had seen and felt disappointed in the original. Then a few years later the remake was rerun on Showtime and a bachelor crash  pad house a buddy owned had myyself and 5 others drinking and watching it and laughing. Then back close to a decade ago when I got this DVD-r rip of a VHS recording ,in SP on a good HIFI VCR,of the original TV airing I watched it again. Then today. 

Why out of the 5 or so of these remakes I own is this one I go back to often? Mostly cause the others are remakes of films I already enjoy. But that original Wasp Woman,that is in the top 5 movies I own the most copies of on DVD thanks to it being PD in an in every multipak of horror,is a boring as hell crap fest of a film. We get right at 4 minutes tops of Wasp Woman in the film. This remake while having soome dodgy FX at least gives us plenty of the title creature.

The remake also has Jennifer Rubin,who uses a very very obvious body double for the nudity in her sex scene,and Maria Ford. And this is Maria after she had some visits to the plastic surgeon. That original I can't tell you who anyone in the cast is. Hell the remake has Fred Olen Ray as the higher up that tells Rubin she is an old hag. 

Directed by Jim Wynorski,this remake is the perfect example of how to reamake and improve an old horror flick. Now is it a undiscovered modern classic of horror? Hell NO! But it is a fun mid 90s Creature Feature that should be seen by more people. It is perfect for streaming on say Tubi or Amazon Prime. And for all I know it could be on one of those.

The Wasp Woman gets a B-

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 26 Dinosaur Hotel

 

TITLE-Dinosaur Hotel

SOURCE-ITN DVD

ITN aka the International Turd Network,no not really.But they appear to mostly release UK or Spanish made films. And their releases are usually shit.

Over the last year I learned about how there is a pile of studios putting out low budget DTV horror. And every week various stores have these films for 5 to 10 bucks.

Well it was back in the start of summer ,CodyLL of Cody's blog was doing a pile of dinosaur films to get ready for the newest Jurassic World film,I saw Dinosaur Hotel and figured what the hell. Saw it was from ITN and knew then the film would look cheap. And it was cheap,3 bucks. Well you get what you pay for.

A lady,who brings her kids,is at a hotel where dinosaurs roam. And is part of a game. Theree are twists and stuff. But the dinos look like stuff from the PS1 game Dino Crisis. And the kills look like cut scenes from that game.

The acting is from ok to HOLY HELL HOW BAD CAN YOU GET. With the lead lady's daughter being horrible.

The bad CGI is the  only FX work in the film. And wow they do all they can to make sure the CGI isnt in the frame with most anything else. Like the scene near the end where the daughter is trapped in the kitchen. Fighting off raptors. She is swinging a club and the club and her are never in the same shot as the CGI raptor.

Every year for 31 Days of Horror I try out some low budget newer horror to see if there is a gem hidden  in all the chaff. Well Dinosaur Hotel is  not  a gem. It is pure chaff.

Dinosaur Hotel gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 25 Popcorn

 

TITLE-Popcorn

SOURCE-Shudder Streaming Service

Oh man the early 90s horror scene was so odd. The slasher subgenre was dying. And if you listen to some fans horror was shit in the 90s until Scream. Which of course is wrong. There was good horror all through out the 90s.

When cable finally reached the rural ass hell southern town I grew up in,tail end of 1990,I paid out of my pocket for Showtime and TMC. Which where the only MOVIE channels our cable offered. Sure I wasn't making much at my part time after school job. But 20 bucks a month went to making sure I had Showtime and TMC. And at least another 30 a month went to buying blank VHS. Cause I was recording any horror movie that aired on Showtime or TMC. It was late 1991 when I saw that Showtime was airing Popcorn a bunch of times the next month. I had wanted to see Popcorn. But something else came out the same weekend as it. And we all went to see  that. The next weekend Popcorn was gone. I had hoped to rent it. But no video store in the area carried it. But Showtime was showing it 5 times in one month. First time airing it at the oddest hour of 2am on a Wednesday.

Sure I had a VCR in my bedroom by this time. And I could have just set my VCR recorded it and watched it Wednesday evening after school and work. But nope I stayed up all night to see it. And I fucking loved it.

A group of college kids are hosting an all night movie marathon at a soon to be demolished theater. This is a fund raiser for their drama club IIRC.  Thanks to Ray Walston,who runs a film merch shop,they get some great gimmicks to go with the three films they show.

Those 3 films are Mosquito,a throw back to the 50s giant insect flicks. And this movie is in 3d. Loved the one scene we see from this film where a giant mosquito lands on a car roof. And shoves it's sucker through the roof and into a yokel's head. Then sucks his brain and everything else out. They have a great FX of the head collasping on itself that I still think looks amazing.

Another of the films  is Attack of the Amazing Electrafied Man,which like the Tingler has seats in the theater wired up to a board and whoever is at that board can give the people in the seats a nice shock. This reminds me of all the 40s era films where dudes get powers through accidents.

Last up is The Stench,filmed on SMELL O VISION. Like Polyester from John Waters.  

While going through the lot of stuff Walston brought they find a 4th film. Titled Possesser. So the students screen it and it shows stuff similar to what our lead Maggie has been dreaming. Odd stuff with fire and death. Seems the director of this thought lost film killed his family before he could shoot the final scene. And set a theater on fire where he was showing what he had shot of his film.

So while these films are airing to a packed house. Someone is not only killing off the students. But is a master of disquise.Which we learn when people we saw die show up in later scenes. 

We find out who the killer is. Our lead Maggie ,played by the great Jill Scholen who yall might remember from the original Stepfather film,gets captured by the killer and we learn who they are and why they are doing what they are doing. I know this isn't a film lots of have seen so I am not gonna full spoil the film.

Overall the film is just fun. But is is one I forgot about. Sure from 91 until 2010 or so I had that VHS I had recorded it on,same tape also had Subspecies 2 on it. And I would watch it maybe once every 5 years. 

I had really just forgotten about the film until I saw Code Red announce they were releasing it to DVD. FOund out there was a previous DVD release that was out of print,and IIRC it was 4:3 instead of OAR. I figured it was time to replace my well worn VHS tape. And since Code Red hinted it would be out soon I gave that tape away to a friend. 

Then I keep hearing that some fan has the DVD rights to the film and is putting out a ULTIMATE FAN EDITION. Also claiming that Code Red doesn't have the rights. And it started this online war of words that lasted what felt like 40 years.

Finally in the past 5 years,IIRC,Synapse finally released the ULTIMATE FAN EDITION. I think there is a blu ray release. But the cost of it was stupid high. So I passed.Figuring there would be a cheaper DVD release and I would get that. Plus not long after the blu ray got out someone sent my a rip of the film off the blu. I ain't seen a cheaper dvd release of the film so far. But Shudder has Popcorn and holy hell I think I might just drop that 35 or 40 bucks and get the blu ray. Cause this print on Shudder looks great. Way better than I remember it ever looking.

Popcorn is a nice meta slasher horror film. I like how it has ties to Deathdreams,in that they wanted Bob Clark to direct this but he turned it down so the guy that worked with him on Deathdreams directed this. Well he stared directing it and was firedd a few weeks into filming. Where he got replaced by one of the lead actors from PORKYS! Yep no joke. Just like Jill Scholen,she wasn't the original actress cast to play the lead. But when the director got replaced she did too. 

Popcorn gets a B+.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 24 Friday the 13th Part 7 The New Blood

 

TITLE_Friday the 13th Part 7 The New Blood

SOURCE-Paramount Blu Ray

Coming out back in 1988 this film was actually filmed in fall/winter 1987 near Mobile Alabama. I wish I had known they were filming  in that area,cause back then I lived about 15 minutes outside Mobile right across the state line in Forts Lake MS.

Starting off as a planned Jason vs Freddy movie,which couldn't happen cause the two studios that owned Jason and Freddy couldn't agree on many issues. Instead we got Jason vs Carrie. Yea it ain't actually Carrie but Lar Park Lincoln plays a lady in this movie that is pretty much Carrie.

As a young child Tina tries to get away from her drunk abusive father. She takes a boat out on Crystal Lake and her being so upset triggers her Telekentic powers. And Tina uses these powers to collapse the pier her father is on.

Skip ahead a bit and  now Tina is a teen. She has all kinds of mental issues caused by her accidentally killing her father. Her mother brings her back to Crystal Lake,cause Tina's shrink thinks this will help her. But we learn that the doctor wants to use Tina's powers for his own gain.

After a very upsetting session with her doctor Tina is pissed. She runs out to the lake and using her powers she managed to awaken and free Jason. Who in part 6 was trapped chained to a large rock at the bottom of Crystal Lake.

Right next to the house Tina and her mom and doctor are staying in is a house full of teens. Who are there to celebrate a friend's birthday. And it being  an 80s slasher film you got your normal teen tropes. Like the rich blonde bitchy girl. And your mousey brunette in glasses who gets a make over and is suddenly pretty. Am I the only one that thought the mousey brunette looked like the taller Chipette from Alvin and the Chipmonks?

So we got Jason free from the lake. A bunch of teens partying,having sex and smoking pot. And a mentally damaged TK powered teen girl. Sounds like we are gonna get a damn good film. Sadly we didn't.

First off gonna mention the things this film gets right. The cast is pretty damn good. Lar Park Lincoln is damn good as Tina, and for the early parts of the film where Tina  is a young child they got the same actress who played Leatherface's daugher in TCM III. Elizabeth Kaitan is Robin. I had seen her in so many horror/sci fi/cult movies and she is great in this movie.Diana Barrows plays the Chipette looking nerdy chick and you really believe she is the character she is playing.

Then there is the biggest addtion to this cast. Jason is played for the first time by Kane Hodder. Kane was at the time  a stunt man. And to most Friday fans their favorite actor to play Jason  is Kane. And I will agree he brought so much to the character. Parrt of that I think is cause the other people who played Jason were stuntmen and not actors. Kane is an actor who is also a stuntman. Also many fans love how Jason  looks in this film and I will agree he does have a great look.

So as you can see it isn't the cast as why this is one of my lesser loved Jason films. The biggest issue to me is how cut this movie is. By the time of this movie the MPAA had a boner for the Jason films. And this film was sent back to the MPAA many many times to try to get that R rating. For example the famous sleeping bag kill. In the uncut workprint of this movie Jason slams the sleeping bag many many times into the tree. In the R rated cut he slams it into the tree one time. Which to me makes the scene more brutal. And all the kills in this movie got majorly cut down. 

Worst part is it appears that either Paramont has lost the stuff that got cut. Or they just don't give a fuck and haven't bothered to look for it. Cause even with Friday 7 getting many many home video  releases,hell I have owned it 3 times on DVD and two times now on Blu Ray,the only copy of the original cut of the film  tha exists is a rough rough 2nd generation VHS looking Workprint.

Thinking about it this has to be my least favorite of the franchise. I know it is the one I have seen the least amount  of times. Usually watch it if I am marathoning the entire run. 

I chose to watch it today cause I hadn't seen it in years.PLus the last week or so at night when I lay down to goto sleep I would put on the Blu Ray of Crystal Lake Memories. And hearing the cast and crew talking  about  how much fun  they had making this film got me into the mood to watch it again.

Friday the 13th Part 7 The New Blood gets a C-.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 23 Deadly Friend

 

TITLE-Deadly Friend

SOURCE-Warner Brothers DVD

Oh man the kind of forgotten 80s Wes Craven film. The story about the making of this film is almost more entertaining than  the actual film.

Originally conceived as a Sci Fi film. And filmed with that in mind. Then a horrible response from a test audience,who wanted more gore and violence since the film was from Wes Craven not long after Nightmare on Elm Street was a huge hit. So reshoots happened and we got the muddled mess of a film we got.

But back in October of 86 when this came out I knew none of the above. Just new it was  a new horror film from Craven and I had to see it. After seeing it I was a bit disappointed. And just kind of forgot about the film until the early 2000s. When I was trying to watch every film Craven directed. On more viewings I started to enjoy the film more. 

Paul and his mom just moved to a new town. He is a teen genius and quickly becomes friends with the neighborhhood paperboy and the cute teen girl next door. Samantha is played by Kristy Swanson,back when she was  mostly known for Flowers in the Attic,and Samantha's father is a horrible abusive  drunk.

Paul has built a robot named BB. Who sometimes shows signs of having AI. The robot gets destroyed and while drunk Samantha's father accidently kills her. So Paul puts his robot's mainframe into Sam's body. And she comes back  but now has super human strength and kills.

Even people that haven't seen this film know the infamous gif from it. In this gif Samantha uses a basketball to kill Anne Ramsey.  The head explosion when the basketball hits is great. Back in 2000 Swanson told Maxim in an interview that the fake head of Anne Ramsey that was destroyed by the basketball was filled with legit cow brains. That might be why that one scene looks so real. It really stands out in this film. A movie that really with some tiny cuts could be a PG 13 horror film marketed to kids and teens.

Sure Deadly Friend isn't top tier Wes Craven. But it isn't bottom tier,that is saved for tripe like Cursed and My Soul to Take. It is a perfect middle of the pack Wes Craven horror film. And one of the few Craven films you can show to kids and teens that isn't packed with gore and violence.

Deadly Friend gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 22 Fear Street Part One 1994

 

TITLE-Fear Street Part One 1994

SOURCE-Netflix Streaming

Last year I watched this movie and the second one in the series. Planned on reviewing them for 31 Days of Horror 2021 but I had more than 31 films on  my list and I figured I could wait till I saw all three films in the series before reviewing them. Well here it is a year later and I still have only seen the first two films.

Set in 1994 this is about a town where one side of the town is nice and peaceful and the other side has been plagued with bad shit happening for as long as anyone can remember.We start off at the Shadyside Mall.A teenage girl working at the book  store gets stabbed and brutally killed by one of her friends. This killer male kills a few more people in the mall before the cops stop and kill him. Seems Shadyside is the murder captital of the USA. Next to Shadyside is Sunnyvale. Sunnyvale is the polar opposite of Shadyside. 

The teens of Shadyside believe the town was cursed in 1666 by a witch. And this is why all the bad shit happens in Shadyside.Thanks to an accident where some of the Shadyside teens  toss a cooler out the back of a bus blood ends up on the grave of this supposed witch and now someone/something is trying to kill Sam. Sam is the secret girlfriend of the films lead lady. 

Figuring out that if Sam dies the killer will give up the teens band together to at first stop the killer. Who at first they think is one of the jocks from Sunnyvale. Then once they figure out it is the spirit of the witch they realize the only way to stop this is for Sam to die. And after most of the rest of our main cast die,in some fairly graphic ways,Sam and her secret girlfriend are all that is left. Sam is drown and the  brought back to life. Thus defeating the witch.

Fear Street was a series of horror novels wrote by RL Stine. Who was at the time well known cause of how popular his Goosebumps series of young kids horror fiction  were super popular. Fear Street was STine's horror novels aimed at teens. I had never read any of them. 

Then back in 2008 I got a part time job were I mostly sat and waited to see if the old man I was doing home health care for needed help. I worked 8pm till 7am 4 nights a week. With not much to do at this job I would bring books with me to read. The county I live in only had one book store. A used book store that was 90% romance novels and 10% other stuff. While there one day killing time before work I saw the owner had just gotten in a huge stack of Fear Street novels. She saw me looking at them,and this lady has known me since I was a fairly young kid. Told me if I would buy all of them,I think there was 20 books,she could cut me a deal.20 books for 25 bucks. So I bought all of them and over the next 20 nights at work would read one of the books each shift. Discovered that while they were not amazing horror fiction the Fear Street books were much better than I expected. 

So going into this movie I was expecting what I got out of the novels. PG or PG 13 levels of horror. Since this was made for Netflix it has no rating. But if it had played theaters this would have gotten an R rating. Cause of language and gore. Soo soooo much gore. There  is one kill with deli meat slicer that shocked me at how bloody it is.

Fear Street Part One 1994 gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 21 Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors

 

TITLE-Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors

SOURCE-New Line Cinema DVD

With 8 or 9 entries in the franchise,depending  on if you considered Freddy vs Jason as an entry,the Elm Street series of horror films is one I have enjoyed since I saw the first movie close almost 40 years ago. And while I do love that first film,it has always been the 3rd film that is my favorite of the run.

Set in a mental hospital we get Nancy coming  back,now grown. And teaming up with what is left of the Elm Street teens to fight off Freddy.

This was the film in the series that established that in the dream world some people will have super powers. Like the Dream Warriors mentioned in the subtitle of this film. Like Kincaid in  this film is super strong in the dream world or the one guy who in the real world is stuck in a wheelchair but in the dream world is a powerful wizard. This aspect of the series is something that was kept around from this film forward.

Look at the cast of this film. So many people in it that at the time were not big stars yet. Like Patricia Arquette. Honestly this is the first thing I saw her in. She is our lead and shows in  this film why she has had a long long career in the film/tv field. Then you have Laurence Fishburne as one of the orderlies. Sure he had done stuff before this like Death Wish II. But this was for me the first big break out role for this really good actor.

For a long time this was also the Elm Street film I had seen the most. All because while I grew up in an area with out cable I had an Aunt that would record films off HBO for me. We would go see this Aunt,who was my dad's oldest sister,usually every few weeks. And I would go through her HBO guide and circle all the movies I wanted to see. Next trip to Aunt Dot's place she would have 4 or 5 tapes full of movies for  me. So  late 1987 or might have been early 1988 I got a tape from her that had Munchies,Morons from Outer Space and Elm Street 3. And I know the first week I had that tape I watched Elm Street 3 at least 4 times. Not that many years ago I was going through a box full of old "blank" VHS and found the tape I had Elm  Street 3 on it. For shits and giggles I tossed that tape into my trusty VCR and was shocked that the tape was still in ok shape. Sure it looked a bit grainy and fuzzy but it was over 30 years old. Sadly right before the film was over my VCR ate the tape. I managed to get the tape out of the player and back into it's case. But it was badly damaged.

For me this film is the  perfect blending of the horror and the  comedy of Freddy Kruger. Unlike the later films Freddy isn't totally a stand up comedian yet. But he still managed to crack a few good jokes.

And the kills.... So many good ones in this film. The puppet kill is one I have always loved. One of the teens at the hospital makes puppets. So Freddy uses this kids veins as strings and puppet masters this kid to his death. Another stand out death is when one of the teens can't sleep. So she is staying up late  watching a late night talk show. Freddy appears on the TV and this girl walks over to the TV. This TV has Freddy's head coming out the top and arms on the side. And Freddy grabs the girl and slams her head first into the TV.

Also I love how you can watch this movie without seeing any of the previous ones and not be lost. Fairly quickly early on in the film we are told who Freddy is and what he has done. 

Now I might have my timeline wrong,not sure on this and too lazy to look it up,but it feels like this film was the start of Freddy being marketed some to kids. IIRC it was after this film that the Freddy action figure was released along with Freddy themed kids PJs. Not sure how many people born after 2000 know this but before then most movie theaters rarely checked or asked for ID when buying a movie ticket. So way before I was 16 I was buying tickets to R rated films like Elm Street 3. There was piles of  80s era films that were R rated and still marketed to kids. Like how Robocop was this film so violent they had to cut stuff out to avoid getting the dreadded X rating. But you had Robocop action figures and comic books. Speaking of comics I thhink it was around the time Elm Street 3 came out that Marvel Comics published 2 issues of the magazine sized B/W Nightmare on Elm Street comic. 

So if you haven't seen Nightmare on  Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors go see it. It  is the best of the Elm Street films to be released in the 80s. 

Nightmare on Elm Street 3 gets a A.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 20 Wrong Turn 5 Bloodlines

 

TITLE-Wrong Turn 5 Bloodlines

SOURCE-2oth Century Fox DVD

Got a set  over a year ago with the first 6 Wrong Turn films. Sure I already owned part 1,but figured for 10 bucks I was getting a deal.

Before this I had seen 1,2 and 3 of the series. It was late one night and I wanted a movie to watch. Settled on Bloodlines,which is part 5,and was shocked how much I enjoyed it.

This film is set before the first 4. Giving us a bit of a origin/backstory for the crazy inbred hillbillies.

Seems a long time ago Dougla Bradley was a serial killer. And he became a father figure for our 3 killer West Virginia inbreds.Also notice how this film get the subtitle Bloodlines and Bradley was in Hellraiser 4 which was subtitled Bloodline.

Now after 4 films in the series you know going in what you are getting. Plenty of gore and manic hillbillies. Plenty of women in skimy clothing. And gorgeous scenery. Filmed in Bulgaria this passed for rural backwoods West Virginia. Which makes sense IIRC the Jesco White movie White Lightning also used Bulgaria to stand in for Boone County WV.

Our three killers are smart. They take out the phone lines and cell tower. Then kill the power for the entire town. Love it cause this gets around the modern horror trope of some checkign their cell and saying "I aint getting any signal"

Also with Wrong Turn you go in wanting gory kills and part 5 does disappoint. Piles and piles of gore. With the final kill being really well done.

I was expecting a by the numbers long in the tooth sequel and instead got a well made pretty fun prequel.

Wrong Turn 5 gets a solid C.

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 19 Wrong Turn 4 Bloody Beginnings

 

TITLE-Wrong Turn 4 Bloody Beginnings

SOURCE-20th Century Fox DVD

Well I try my best to watch at least once every horror film I get a copy of. Which has lead to me watching some total crap. I also have every year since 2000 reviewed 31 horror films in the month of October. Never repeating a film and for years avoiding the big slasher franchises.

These two things tend to work against each other. For example 2012ish I bought a Echo Bridge 10 pack of horror movies. Was 5 bucks and  I wanted Howling 4 on DVD.I had seen it back when it first hit cable decades ago and remember enjoying it. This multipack was a cheap way for me to get a copy of it. And well if any of the other 9 films turn out to be decent that is a bonus. My rule of trying to at least once watch every horror film I end up with a copy of and this pack is how I discovered Vampeggedon. A film I both love and hate. 

All of this is trying to explain why I decided to watch and review Wrong Turn 4 Bloody Beginnings. I know I saw this a long ass time ago when it aired on Syfy. Back 10 or so years ago most Halloweens I would goto my cousins. And she would end up DVRing any horror films airing on  AMC or SYFY to show her kids. We watched Wrong Turn 4 and I remember it having like 2 good kills and the rest just sucking.

The DVD,which is part of that pack of the first 6 films on dvd,is loaded with extras. Got a commentary with the director. A Music video for some song from the movie. Deleted scenes and other extras. The film looks and sounds decent. And by part 4 of this oddly long lived modern horror franchise the films were going DTV. But this looks and feels like a smaller budget theater released film.

Set in a asylum this movie gives us a kind of origin for the Hillickers. The 3 crazy inbred hillbillies from West Virginia.  I enjoyed the first 3 films. 

At the start we meet the three brothers,Three Finger,One Eye and Sawtooth. Malformed thanks to inbreeding they are locked up in a pretty brutal looking mental hospital. Guessing this is the 70s.

Thanks to a bobbie pin the three brothers get loose from their cell. They first attack an orderly and the slaughter continues for pretty much about an hour and a half.

After this flashback to the 70s the film skips ahead to 2003. And a bunch of college age kids are lost on  their snowmobiles. It is night and a blizzard is hitting.So they go seek refuge in the old abandoned nut house. But the Hillickers are there so we get plenty of hillbilly hellish hijinx.

Film in  Bulgaria. This was the start of a planned trilogy of prequels to the original Wrong Turn. Early on during the commentary with the director it is revealed why this 4th film in the series was the start of a 3 film set of prequels. I had forgotten this but Three Finger got killed off in Part 3. So the only way to have the three brothers in a film is a prequel. And learning their history could be a great premise for a film. This film isn't that film.

I did like that this was a slasher set in winter where there is snow. Surprised more films don't go for the winter/snow setting.Sure it is a pain in the ass to deal with. But it adds something to what is otherwise a run of the mill prequel/sequel in a franchise most fans forgot about 2 entries ago.

Worth seeing if you can find the pack of the first 6 films for 10 bucks or less. Appears each of the discs in this set is the old dvd releases. So you get all the extras on the original stand alone film releases.

Wrong Turn 4 Bloody Beginnings gets a C+

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 18 Damien The Omen II

 

TITLE-Damien Omen II

SOURCE-Scream Factory Blu Ray

While the original Omen doesn't get the  praise that fellow possession films like Rosemary's baby and The Exorcist get,for me it is the best of those films. 

And while the sequels to Exorcist and Rosemary's baby are hated and shit on Omen 2 isn't. Why is that? Cause it is actually pretty good.

Based somewhat on the second novel in the Omen series. This film skips ahead a bit. Damien is now a pre teen and attending a military school. Where Lance Hendrickson helps young Damien realize what his legacy is.

Now sure this pales when compared to the amazing first film in the series. But it is still much better than mosst people make it out to be. The gore fx are all well done. With some really good kills. Acting is decent. And I like the plot.

The only real drawback to this film is the ending. Since a third film was gonna happen there is no way this film could solve the issue of Damien being the Anti-Christ. 

Scream Factory's Blu Ray has a decent amount of extras. Got a few interviews,two commentaries and a shortish BTS feature. It looks better than it ever has and sounds great.

Damien The Omen II gets a C+

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 17 Teenage Caveman

 

TITLE-Teenage Caveman (2002 Remake)

SOURCE-Sony DVD

I had pretty much forgotten about this remake. Even though I bought it on VHS back in 2003. But that VHS,an ex-rental copy from Hollywood Video,got ate by a vcr close to 12 years ago. I was looking for something to watch on Youtube. Saw a video titled "The forgotten Larry Clark Horror/Sci Fi movie" and was like "Oh yea I need to find a copy of that film." Went to Amazon and bought one of the last new copies of the DVD they had.

Back in 2002 Cinemax had a pile of old AIP movies remade to premiere on their Saturday night feature. This is like what Showtime did with their Rebel Highway series in 1994,but instead of JD films Cinemax got Sci Fi or Horror films. This series of remakes was dubbed the Creature Features series. Over the 20 years since they originally aired I have managed to see all of them. Pretty sure a few years ago I covered the remake of How to Make a Monster. 

Teenage Caveman,like most of the films in the Creature Features run,is a remake in title and basic premise only. IIRC in the original Teenage Caveman you don't learn that the film is set in a apocolyptic future until near the end of the film. In this remake fairly early on you learn this.

What really surprises me is how this film is forgotten. As I already mentioned it is directed by Larry Clark. Yea the infamous director of Kids,Bully and Ken Park. And well if you know Larry Clark you know that means this film will be packed with nudity and sleaze. 

Andrew Keegan  is the son of the cave tribe's leader. His father rapes Keegan's girlfriend. Keegan kills his father and he is banished from the tribe. So Andrew and a few of his friends stumble on a large city.

They all pass out and when they wake up they are in a solar powered apartment. Where Judith,Tiffany Limos, and Vincent,Stephen Jasso,live. 

Judith and Vincent introduce out teenage cavepeople to excesses of sex and drug and rock n roll. Which leads us to a scene that surprised me, Vincent uses this apartments amazing stereo to play Misfits-Where Eagles Dare. I didn't expect to hear a classic Misfits song when I put this film into my VCR 19 years ago.

Quickly we find out that Judith and Vincent infect  anyone they have sex with . This virus kills whoever has it in a fast and explosive way. Also Vincent and Judith heal from any wound super fast.

By the end it is Andrew Keegan vs Judith and Vincent. And SPOILERS Keegan wins but at what cost?

Yea the film is loaded with nudity,sleaze and has that greasy feel that every Larry Clark has. What surprises me is not only that this Creature Features series of films are forgotten,which is odd cause most of them are in many horror multipack dvd sets,but this is the Larry Clark film that no one seems to remember. Even people that haven't seen his better known films know who Larry Clark is. But this film,nope forgotten.

Teenage Caveman gets a C+

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 16 Easter Bunny Massacre

 

TITLE-Easter Bunny Massacre

SOURCE-ITN DVD

As I mentioned earlier this month I have become a bit of a fan of the modern DTV horror. So looking for a Easter based horror film earlier this year I saw that cover and yea I had to see this.

Made in the UK this is a slasher. That to me at least rips most of it's plot straight from Slaughter High. A group of friends are hanging out and that night while they are sleeping one of them is killed. So they hide the body,say she ran off. 

Skip ahead a year and they get invited back to where the friend died. And they get killed off by someone wearing a Easter Bunny outfit.

Sure the acting ain't that great. And the plot is something we have seen in piles of slasher films. But there is a few inventive kills. Like one where our killer pours melted chocolate all over someone. A scene when I first saw this I thought the Easter Bunny was having diarhhea attack.

Unlike the other DTV horror I reviewed this month,this one isn't worth buying. But last time I checked Easter Bunny Massacre is streaming free on TUBI. Go give it a watch.

Easter Bunny Massacre gets a D+

31 Days of Horror 2022 Day 15 Color Out of Space

 

TITLE-HP Lovecraft's Color Out of Space

SOURCE-RLJE Blu Ray

After owning this Blu Ray for a good bit I finally watched it. Based on the classic Lovecraft story this is a great modern retelling of it.

Directed by Richard Stanley,and starring Nic Cage and Joely Richardson,the film takes that classic story,inserts in in modern times and managed to finally make a Stanley film I enjoyed.

Nic and his wife Joely live out in a rural area. They have 3 kids and are trying to live off the land. Then one night a meteor lands on their property. And the space rock gets hit by lightning. Something from the meteor ends up going into the land and local water supply. Which starts odd changes to the family.

Like the wife is chopping up some carrots and ends up cutting off two of her fingers. The youngest son keeps hearing voices coming out of the well. And no matter how many times the eldest son puts the alpacas in the barn they are never in the barn.

Sure this story has been made into a film a few times,with The Curse being the best known and most modern version.

I love how over the past 4 years we have been getting a pile of well done horror film with Nic Cage as the lead. Stuff like Mandy and Willy's Wonderland.

So if you enjoy Lovecraft and want to see one of the better adaptations of his work this is one to track down. Good acting,decent script and some well done FX work. Plus if you love body horror this is one to watch.

Color out of Space gets a B+.