Asshat Podcast episode 19

Asshat Podcast episode 19

Newt is joined by John and Collin and they discuss the Halloween franchise of films.

31 Days of Horror Movie 31

Man Thing
2005
Lionsgate DVD

I am a huge fan of Man-Thing. Discovered him years ago. Mostly thanks to the fanboy jokes about "Giant Sized Man-Thing". But once I started reading the comics I realized how great they are. So when I heard there was going to be a film based on them I was pretty damn excited. Sadly even amongst comic fans people think of Man-Thing as a knock off of Swamp Thing. And while they do share some similarities they are very different.

Sadly the film isn't that good. Man-Thing is just this brainless swamp creature. He was never a scientist. And lots of the subtext from the comics is missing. Plus for some reason the setting has been moved from the Florida everglades to the Louisiana bayous. The Bayous are Swamp Thing's territory not Man-Things.

The FX work is ok. Same with the acting. I don't think this did well. It premiered on SciFi channel in the States. But I think overseas it might have played in some theaters. I grabbed the DVD because I found it cheap. Plus I was hoping on a second viewing I might enjoy it more. That didn't happen. I bet if you haven't read the comics you might enjoy it much more than I did.

Man-Thing gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror Movie 30

Embrace of the Vampire
1995
Unrated DVD

I had heard about this film months before it hit the video stores. Rumors were flying that Alyssa Milano was going to be totally nude in it. Since I had had a crush on her since about the second season of Who's the Boss I had to see it. So the day it came out I hit every video store in Jackson County MS. Finally finding it at this tiny place. I got lucky and they had got in the unrated cut.

There really isn't much plot. Alyssa is the virginal college girl who keeps having dreams about sex. There is a vampire that needs her blood to live. But in the end she chooses her boyfriend over the vampire.

As you can see the plot is C R A P!. What this film is remembered for is two scenes. One is a dream Alyssa has which is basically an orgy. With her,the vampire,her boyfriend and another female student. The other scene is when this other female student talks Alyssa into posing for her. Alyssa gets topless and starts making out with the lady.

The film feels like a half ass combination of a DTV vampire film and something you you see on Skinamax after dark.

Embrace of the Vampire gets a C-. And that is only because we get to see Ms Milano topless a couple of times.

31 Days of Horror Movie 29

Dracula
1931
Universal DVD

I first saw this film years ago when I was 3 or 4. I really don't remember much about seeing it that time. Then years later when the SciFi Channel first hit the airwaves they were showing it. I stayed up late one Sunday night to watch it and to be honest wasn't impressed. I was about 16 and the slow pace of the film bored me.

Years later one Halloween night while I was passing out candy I saw that Turner Classic Movies was showing all the Universal classics.So I had them on. And this time I actually enjoyed Dracula.

I am sure most people reading this know the plot.Renfield goes to Transylvania. He goes to the Count's castle and ends up getting bit. So Dracula and Renfield come to England.

Now I totally understand why this film is considered a classic. And the performances from Bela Lugosi,as Dracula, and Dwight Frye,as Renfield, are outstanding. But the rest of the cast isn't good. The movie feels more like someone filmed a stage play.

The has some interesting extras. There is a commentary that is loaded with all kinds of info. A nice documentary. Plus it includes the semi infamous "Spanish" version of Dracula. At night on the same sets a Spanish language version of Dracula was filmed. And in my eyes besides the guy playing Dracula the rest of the cast is much better.

Dracula gets a C.

31 Days of Horror Movie 28

Toy Story of Terror
2013
ABC tv airing


I had completely forgotten this was suppose to air. But thanks to a chubby Trekkie I found out. So I quickly got a copy.

Now my love for the Toy Story franchise is huge. For years I was a big time toy collector. And as I am sure with most kids, I would spend hours with my toys making up stories and various adventures.

This short has the toys on a vacation somewhere. They are all in the trunk of the car enjoying a classic horror film on a portable DVD player. The car gets a flat. So the family pulls into a motel. They are going to have to spend the night. Mr Potato Head goes out to explode and disappears. So the rest of the gang goes looking for him. And one by one they disappear. Until only Jessie is left. She meets up with Combat Carl. Who tells her that something is up.

What is going on is the hotel manager has trained his pet iguana to steal the toys. And he turns around and sells them on Ebay. Woody quickly sells and is boxed up and ready to be shipped out. So it is up to Jessie to save him.

I wasn't expecting the animation to be up to the levels of the 3 films and the one short I have seen. But it was. I wish Slinky Dog was in this. But with Jim Varney being gone I doubt we see Slinky Dog that much anymore. Still this was great. Reminds me of when I was a kid and the month of October was loaded with animated Halloween specials. Which is a tradition that has seemed to died.

Toy Story of Terror gets an A.

31 Days of Horror Movie 27

Three Extremes
2004
Lionsgate DVD

This is a film that I had lots of friends recommend to me. But it never played any theater near me. Then I forgot about it for years. When Movie Gallery was closing it is one of the films I got extremely cheap.

The film is made up of 3 short films. Each made by an Asian director from a different country.

We start off with Dumplings by Fruit Chan. Fruit Chan is a Hong Kong director. This is the first and so far only film I have seen from him. A still extremely pretty older lady is worried that her aging is causing her husband to lose interest in her. So she goes to this woman, Who is played by the always gorgeous Bai Ling. Bai makes these special dumplings. That are suppose to prevent aging and make you look young. But there is a nasty secret ingredient. I have a pretty strong stomach. But when I found out what the secret was and saw Bai preparing the dumplings my stomach did a few flips.

Up next is Cut by South Korean director Park Chan Wook. Again this is the first film I have seen by Park Chan Wook. It is about a film director who comes home to find out an extra from his films is holding his wife hostage. She is stuck in a very elaborate trap. To me at least this is the worst of the shorts. It isn't horrible. But it isn't amazing either.

The final short is Box by Takashi Miike. This one is very surreal and hard to explain. From what I gather there was two young girls. Who did acrobatic performances. Their manager who might also be their father shows favoritism to one of them. The other gets jealous and burns down the tent they perform in. I had seen some Miike stuff before this. And this doesn't have the same feel as the rest of his films. But I do really enjoy it.

The DVD has some decent extra features.Miike does a commentary on his short. Plus we get an extra DVD which has a feature length version of Dumplings. I need to sit down and watch that one day.

Three Extremes gets a B+.

Asshat Podcast Episode 18

Asshat Podcast Episode 18



In this extra long Friday the 13th special Newt is joined by John,Collin,Merc and Nadia. Where they talk about all the Friday the 13th films. Plus the NES Friday the 13th game.