31 days of horror Day 30

Jack Ketchum's The lost

Source- Anchor bay DVD

Ray Pye is a disturbed young man. To make up for being short he puts crushed beer cans in his boots. Him and a couple of friends are out in the woods getting drunk when Ray runs into what he thinks is a couple of lesbians. Ray takes a rifle and kills both girls. Fast forward a couple of years later. Ray live in a room at the motel his mom manages. He is always having wild parties and seems to manage to get any girl he wants. But the new maid his mom has just hired turns him down,and this pisses Ray off. He ends up dating a new girl in town,and everything is going great then one night trying to impress the girl he tells her about shooting and killing the 2 girls many years ago. She of course now wants nothing to do with Ray. This starts his flash trip to insanity. Ray ends up kidnapping the two aforementioned girls,plus another he has been seeing off and on for years. He takes them to a house he thinks is abandoned. Discovering a couple there who are packing up stuff,Ray freaks out and starts to slaughter everyone there. Based partially on true stories this film based on a great Jack Ketchum novels while not 100 percent horror has a level of intensity that very few current films can match. The final 10 minutes will rattle most people's nerves. Over the acting was good or in some cases almost perfect. While not a feel good movie,it is one that will make you think. Jack Ketchum's The Lost gets an A.

31 days of horror Day 29

Return to Horror high/Return of the killer tomatoes

Source- Anchor Bay double feature DVD

Two 80's horror comedies that both have George Clooney in them. Up first Return to Horror high. A film crew is filming in a high school where a few years back a series of bloody murders happened. Clooney plays a minor role,and he is the first one killed. This is your average slasher,but the touches of humor help raise it above crap like Prom Night,Happy Birthday to me,and Graduation Day. You get a nice cameo by Maureen McCormick as a cop that gets turned on by gore. Nice amounts of jump scares and gore. And the ending is something most people will never guess. Now Return of the Killer Tomatoes is more comedy than horror,but it has IMHO the best acting from Clooney. In this film you have Doctor Gangreen taking the killer tomatoes and turning them into humans with a process that involves music. One of these human/tomatoes runs away and falls in love with Clooney's roommate. Lots of sight gags,and cameos from cast from the first film. The product placement gag is one of the best I have ever seen. Return to Horror High earns a B-,and Return of the killer Tomatoes earns a B+.

Wondering why I did two films today? Mainly cause tomorrow I will be heading out on vacation and might not be able to do that days post to really late.

31 days of horror Day 28

Who can kill a child

Source- Dark Skys DVD

OK first off this was recommended to me by a friend who's opinion i trust. Well this time he steered me wrong. A British couple is on vacation in Spain. And the husband wants to go back to an island he visited many years back. They take a small boat there. When they get their the only people they see are all children. Turns out something has happened to the children on this island and they are killing off all the adults. The couple ends up being chased by the kids and finally they lock themselves in a jail cell in the local jail. A young kid,looks to be like 8 climbs up into the windowsill and tries to shoot them. The husband kills the kid and the wife freaks out. She is pregnant and not too much longer the fetus starts eating her from the inside out.This was the best scene in this almost 2 hour long film. The next morning the husband leaves the jail and heads to the dock to take the boat back to the mainland. On his way there he runs into the kids,and he guns down about 9 of them. Like an idiot he drops his gun and starts running to the dock. Of course the kids take up the chase. He makes it to the boat and the kids are right behind him. He starts fighting them off with an oar. As the kids are attacking him a police boat pulls up and sees him attacking the kids. The police officer shots him,and he falls dead into the water. The police go onto the docks,and the kids tell them the adults are right around the corner in the city. As the cops walk off the kids grab the officers guns off the cop boat and kill the cops. The movie ends with a group of the kids taking a boat to the mainland. Lots of things wrong with this movie. First off it has about 45 minutes worth of story but it runs almost 2 hours long. Besides one quick scene at the 30 minutes mark nothing much happens until the 1 1/2 hour mark. Both of the lead actors were pretty bad. The gore effects,what little their was ,were OK but nothing special. Who can kill a child earns a D-.

31 days of horror Day 27

Maniac

Source- Oop Anchor Bay DVD

Made in 1980,Maniac stars Joe Spinell and Caroline Munro. Joe stars as Frank Zito,who is a very very disturbed man. He was mentally and physically abused by his mother at a young age. And still suffers from that ordeal. When the horrors of this abuse becomes to much for him he prowls the seedy streets of early 80's NYC in search of women to kill. Frank ends up meeting a beautiful photographer who is played by Caroline Munro. Even when with him sorta dating this woman he still feels the need to go out and kill.This is a film that is mainly remembered now for the amazing Tom Savini effects. The shotgun to the head and the scalping scenes are still terrifying today. Spinell is a great actor that sadly died too young. Caroline is her usually adequate self,not a great actress but not horrible either. The main big problems with this movie is no-one will believe that someone as stunningly beautiful as Caroline dating Joe,and the ending. Up until the final 15 minutes the movie is great,but the ending where it seems the victims of Joe's previous killings come back to get him just doesn't work. The effects are good,but the scene doesn't fit in with the rest of the movie. Mainly cause the rest of the film is so grounded in reality. But overall this is a film anyone calling themselves a horror fan needs to see at least once. Maniac earns a A-.

31 days of horror Day 26

Joshikyôei hanrangun aka Attack girl's swim team vs the undead

Source-Museum DVD

Wow this was bad,but weirdly entertaining. Their is a new girl in school,her name is Aki. She is talked into joining the girls swim team. At the same time everybody at the school is being vaccinated for a new virus that is going around. Somehow this vaccination ends up turning everyone that gets it into a kinda zombie,well everyone but the girls swim team. The major weirdness starts when the math teacher freaks out and starts lobbing off various students limbs with rulers. Very bloody scene but the hacked off limbs look pretty bad. Aki and the rest of the swim team figure out that they are immune cause of the chemicals in the swimming pool. So they gather buckets of water from the pool and start throwing it onto the zombified students. It works and changes the students back to humans. They throw some of this water onto the English teacher,but she stays a zombie and attacks them. The swim team manages to outwit her and wraps her up in a chain. Then we find out that Aki is an orphan who was kidnapped at a young age and trained to be a water assassin. The guy who trained her shows up and they have a huge fight in the schools boiler room. While this is happening the rest of the swim teams arms themselves with weapons and goes to take out the zombies that are left. Turns out the English teacher got loose of the chains and she manages to kill all but one of the swim team. Aki finally kills her old mentor and runs into the remaining swim team member outside the school. This girl uses a nerve agent on Aki ,and while Aki is laying on the ground unable to move the remaining swim team girl is killed by Aki's old mentor. Turns out the mentor had a twin. Seeing that Aki is paralyzed the mentor attempts to rape her,but Aki is prepared. Seems she has hidden some kind of laser firing device in her well her vagina. She shoots a laser and the twin blows up. This covers Aki in blood. So she goes to the pool to clean off and have a swim.In the middle of swimming she up and dies. Then it is flashed on the screen that the nerve agent used on her causes heart attacks if you do any kind of exercise within 8 hours of being exposed to it. Like I said earlier this was bad,but still entertaining. Sure it isn't something I would have bought but since I got it from Netflix it was worth it. The acting was not so hot,the special effect were piss poor. the only real standouts was just the plain weirdness of the story and the cuteness of the actress that played Aki. Attack girl's swim team vs the undead gets a C-.

31 days of horror Day 25

Flight of the Living Dead Outbreak on a plane

Source- New Line DVD

On a plane trip from Los Angeles to Paris,a zombie outbreak happens. This is cause by a mutated strain of malaria. Once the virus is released no country will allow the plane to land. The UN ends up sending fighter jets to shoot down the plane. So 5 survivors must make their way to the cockpit and signal the fighter pilot that there is still people alive on the plane. By the time they make it to the cockpit one of them has been bitten by a zombie. The haggard group finally makes it to the cockpit and is getting ready to signal the fighter jet,when the jet launches a missile. They do manage to signal the fighter jet,but even with the jet pilot detonating the missile it is still to late. The missile explodes close to the plane and blows a hole in the side,this sucks out most of the zombies. They finally crash land the plane near Los Vegas. They think the zombie threat is over,but it is revealed to the audience that 4 zombies are still around. This film is an obvious clone of Snakes on a plane,but with zombies replacing the snakes. And while Snakes on a Plane had a pretty big budget this film didn't . And this film is the better of the two. Sure it's predictable. But it is fun. The cast is uniformly good,and the special effects are really well done. The zombies will piss off the fans that don't like fast moving zombies. Which is something I can't understand,most horror or zombie fans will agree that Return of the Living Dead is a great film. And that is the first film I am aware of that had running zombies. But back to Flight of the living dead,Good film perfect for a rental or even buying if you find it cheap. The DVD has 2 different commentaries,one by the director and producer. And the other is by the editors of IGN.com. To sum it up good fun little film,that has some comedy to help it out. Flight of the Living Dead gets a C+

31 days of horror Day 24

Rats Night of Terror

Source- OOP Anchor Bay DVD

After a nuclear disaster a band of survivors find an abandoned town. The discover that this town has huge supplies of food,so they decide to stay. Little do they know that this town also has a major rodent problem. The rats of this quiet town are many and bloodthirsty. One by one the survivors are killed by the rats in many graphic and bloody ways. Until there is only 2 people left. Then they get "saved" by the people that live underground. But are the underground dwellers still human? Made by Bruno Mattei in 1985,Rats is a very weird twist on the typical Italian Mad Max ripoff. Italian directors made lots and lots of post-nuke movies after the success of Mad Max,but this one has the twist of the killer rats. It is rumored that painted guinea pigs were used in place of the rats,but to my eyes it looks like real rats. The actors and actresses are what you will normally find in an mid 80's Italian ripoff movie,Not bad but not anything to write home about. Most of the gore effects are pretty good,and are a main reason the film is entertaining. Nowadays this film if remembered is remembered for the twist ending. Which really doesn't hold up if you think about it too much. But if you are looking for some to pass some time and something that you can just shut your brain off and watch you could do a lot worse than this. Rats nights of terror earns a B-.

31 days of horror Day 23

The Hills have Eyes-Unrated Remake

Source- 20th century fox DVD

A family of 7 are traveling though Yuma Flats heading to California. They stop at a gas station for fuel,and the gas station attendant tells them about a short cut. Turns out this is a set up,on the shortcut they end up driving over something that pops their tires. They crash into a rock. The dad and the oldest sister's husband head out to look for help. And as night falls all hell breaks loose. 2 mutated men attack the camper,while another ties the father to a Joshua tree and sets it on fire. After a gruesome battle,the oldest sister,the mom,and the father are all dead. And the oldest sister's baby has been kidnapped. The husband heads out to get his baby back,while the brother and younger sister stay behind. The two siblings booby trap the area around the trunk and camp and wait. The husband comes upon a town that was built when the government was testing nuclear bombs in this area. He sneaks into a house a finds his child there,but on his way out he is attacked by one of the mutants. He comes too and is inside a freezer that is full of various body parts. Turns out these mutants are the descendants of the miners that refused to leave the area when the nuclear testing was happening. The husband ends up killing most of the mutants and sees a younger female one running off into the hills with his child. He follows and has to fight off the leader of the mutants,the fight is long and bloody,but at the end he knocks him down and think he has killed the mutant. The young female mutant hands over the baby,and sees that the leader is about to attack the husband again,she ends up tackling the leader and they both fall over a cliff. Finally victorious the husband,with his baby in tow,head back to meet up with the other two. They hug and all that kind of happy shit. Then the camera pulls out and we realize someone in the hills is still watching them. The end. This wasn't a bad remake,it took parts of the Wes Craven original. But changed enough to not end up being a total rehash. The special effects were really good The makeup on the various mutants was a highlight for me. It is worth seeing,either by buying it for cheap or a rental. The Hills have eyes remake gets a C+ from me.

31 days of horror Day 22

House on Haunted Hill-William Castle Original

Source-Rifftrax DVD release

Ah a movie I loved when I was a kid. Vincent Price and his wife decide to throw a exclusive party at a supposedly haunted house. They invite 5 people,a airline pilot,a doctor,a drunk tabloid reporter,a Secretary,and a guy who's family owns the house. The all arrived in black cars and go to the living room to meet up with Price.Vincent shows them around the house,and they get to see the acid pit in the basement. Turns out 5 people have already died in this house. The deal is at midnight the doors will be lock from the outside and each person to spend the entire night in the house gets 10 thousand dollars. All kinds of cheesy spooky events happen,IE crazy old blind lady that seems to roller skate over the floors,Vincent's wife hanging her self then showing back up outside someones window,etc. In the end it turns out the doctor and Ms Price are working together to kill off Vincent. But he manages to outwit them. First time I saw this was many many years ago,a local UHF channel would show at least one horror movie every Saturday night. Even as a young kid this movie didn't scare me but it sure did entertain me. And it still does. House on Haunted Hill is a great horror classic to watch with young kids,and earns an C+.

31 days of horror Day 21

Motel Hell

Source-OOP MGM Midnite movie DVD

Farmer Vincent is well known for his smoked meats. But most people don't know what is in his smoked treats. Vincent and his sister run a motel,The Motel Hello. But the O in hello is usually burnt out so it says Motel Hell. Early on we see Vincent setting a trap on a road. It causes a wreck were the man is killed and his girlfriend is injured. Vincent takes the girl,Terry,back home to the motel. She slowly falls in love with Vincent. Late on night we see the farmer going to a fenced off place on the back side of his property. Inside is his secret garden,where he buries people up to their necks and force feeds them. When they get to the size that he wants,he uses a tractor to pop off their heads. Then he grinds them up into his smoked meat treats. For a movie with such a grim premise it actually is very funny. Vincent's sister is played by the heavyset female coach from Porkys. She helps him out with his meat business. The ending is a nice set piece of two guys fighting with chainsaws while one of them is wearing a giant pig mask. Good film,would be perfect to see at a drive in. Solid B.

31 daysof horror Day 20

Last House on dead end street

Source-OOP Barrel Entertainment DVD

I have no idea how to even begin reviewing this film. Up until I saw this I thought David Lynch was the only director capable of delivering the logic of nightmares to the big screen. Well now I know another man that can,Rodger Watkins. The only real way to describe this movie is someone managed to film a nightmare. What little plot there is is about a man,Terry,fresh outta jail. He decides to start making movies,and wanting to do something that hasn't been done before he starts making snuff movies. Watkins has admitted to being on amphetamines during the filming. And it shows. The movie jumps from one nightmarish scene to another. Very gory and very very disturbing,this is a movie that will stick in your mind for days after watching it. Sadly now that the DVD is outta print,and the VHS releases have always been hard to find,people will have to rely on either dvd-rs or bad bootleg VHS to watch it. I have been pondering in my mind what grade I would give it,and finally gave it a B-.

31 days of horror Day 19

Masters of Horror The Screwfly Solution

Source-Anchor Bay DVD

Based on the 1977 short story by Alice Sheldon,this episode from the second season of Masters of Horror. Directed by Joe Dante,This episode stars Jason Priestley and Elliott Gould. It's starts with a bunch of women being killed in Jacksonville Florida. Ahh the murderers are male and all of them say that God told them to cleanse the earth. Priestley and Gould are scientists that specialize in insects. Pretty soon there are outbreaks of violence against women all over the globe. Priestley realizes this has to been caused by someone or something that is trying to wipe out the human race. He calls his wife and tells her to get a gun,and take their daughter and drive as far north as they can. Flash forward about a month,and the wife and daughter are staying in Gould's cabin up in Canada. They come home one day to find Priestley there. After a confrontation the wife shoots Jason. And her and her daughter head further north. She pulls over on the side of the road to use the restroom,and while she is out in the woods the daughter steals the car and drives back to the cabin. The next morning when the wife gets back to the cabin she finds her daughter dead. Flash forward a month. We find out that Elliott isn't effected by the virus since he had him self chemically castrated. He dress the wife up as a man and him and her head even further north in Canada. They end up living in a tent way out in the woods,where Elliott gets a bad cold and dies. The wife buries him and goes into town to get supplies. The other men in the store notice something weird about her and follow her. She notices them following her and tries to lose them by running off into the woods. But they chase her. She finally hides in some brush and sees a bright light. The two guys come out in the clearing and see that the light is from two aliens. The aliens kill both the men and take some kind of fluid from their heads. The final scene is the wife huddled in a small shelter somewhere out in the woods,and you get the feeling that she is one of the last living females. I had read the story this was based on about 2 years ago,and was impressed by it. From what I can remember the film follows the story fairly closely. I don't remember the short story having the part with the aliens,but I might have just forgot that part. The low budget and filming it all in Vancouver Canada shows,mainly in the very beginning. Which is set in Texas,the people shown have very weird accents that are nothing like the normal Texas accent. But that is just a small nitpick. This was an enjoyable way to kill and hour and it gets an B.

31 days of horror Day 18

Jack Ketchum's The Girl next door

Source-Anchor Bay DVD

Inspired by true events,this film is based on the Jack Ketchum novel of the same name. Set in 1958,this is the story of David Moran and the girl next door Meg Loughlin. Meg has moved in next door along with her little sister. They now live with their Aunt Ruth and her 3 sons. Ruth is the mom that all the kids in the neighborhood love. She talks about all kinds of stuff that most adults won't mention in front of kids,plus she lets her boys,plus the other boys from the neighborhood drink beer with her. She is jealous of Meg for some reason. And starts taking this out on her. At first she does stuff like not allowing Meg to eat for 2 or 3 days in a row,but soon it progresses to harsher punishment. After not too long Ruth has her boys tying Meg up in the basement. This slowly starts to involve more of the neighborhood kids,and it starts to get more and more cruel. David is a witness to all of this but does nothing to stop or prevent it,finally he has seen enough and tries to save Meg and her little sister. The last 15 minutes of the movie are some of the most heartbreaking,gruesome scenes I had seen in any film in many years. The acting is very good,when you consider that most of the cast is preteen and early teens. This is one of those films that well most people couldn't make it through. But if you want to see what I thought was the best horror film of 2007,at least give it a rent. Jack Ketchum's The Girl next door gets an A.

31 Days of horror Day 17

Drag me to hell

Source-Universal DVD

Finally Sam Rami has come back to horror/comedy. Alison Lohman is a bank loan officer. She is wanting to get the position of assiant manager. An old gypsy lady comes in and asks for a third extension on her mortgage. She is denied and puts a curse on Alison. Turns out in 3 days this goat like spirit will come and take Alison to hell. She spends the rest of the movie trying to stop this from happening. At first when I finished watching it I was amazed at what they got away with in a PG-13 movie,but then I looked closer at the DVD and realized I had watched the unrated cut. Like most of Rami's horror films this one is filled with lots of jump scares,low angle cameras,and plenty of comedy. The special effects ,extra for 1 scene,were really well done for being mostly CGI. The cast was great,especially Alison's boyfriend played by Justin Long. And this was the first horror film in a long while that had an ending that really surprised me. I will have to give this a strong A.

31 days of horror Day 16

Buried Alive

Source-Dimension Extreme DVD

Man what a stinker,I picked this up last year around this time at a flea market. The redneck dealer with 3 teeth,gave it to me for free since I bought about 10 other DVDs from him. After I watched it today I see why it was free. 5 college friends head up to one of theirs old family home. Which is supposed to have a treasure hidden somewheres on the property. Before they get there they stop to talk to the caretaker,played by Saw's Tobin Bell. The college kids finally make it up to the house,where they pair off for some fun. Weird creepy old woman ghost keeps showing up,and the kids mostly don't notice her until it is too late. Basically this movie sucked more than Vanessa Del Rio. The premise is tired and cliche. Hardly no action happened until the last 10 minutes. Avoid at all cost. F-

31 days of horror Day 15

Christmas Evil

Source-OOP Brentwood DVD

Released in 1980,Christmas Evil AKA You better watch out AKA Terror in toyland,is a very early example of the "killer Santa" subgenre of horror films. The movie starts off in the late 1940's when a boy sneaks downstairs on X-mas eve and catches Santa,his dad in a Santa suit,groping his mom. This scars the poor Lil boy,and he grows up with an obsession with Christmas. He works at a toy factory that makes shoddy cheap toys. He has his apartment decorated year round in holiday decorations. Plus he even sleeps in a Santa suit. But wait things get creepier,when you see him spying on the neighborhood kids with his binoculars. He has 2 ledgers,one for nice kids,and one for naughty kids. And he keeps tabs on all the neighborhood kids in these two ledgers. After not too long his already fragile mind finally snaps. He steals alot of toys from work,and he goes home puts on his Santa suit. He takes the toys to the local children's hospital. The next night he sneaks into a co-workers home. He leaves toys for the kids,and kills the co-worker. He keeps up giving toys to the good kids,and killing the bad adults. Finally there is a huge mob,with torches,after him. Since the film is set in NYC I wonder where the mob gets torches from. It looks like they have him cornered in his van when .... well lets say a Christmas Miracle happens. OK film was kinda slow,and I can see where someone raised on more current horror movies would find it unbearably slow. On little piece of trivia,The killer Santa is played by Brandon Maggart who is Fiona Apple's father. Christmas Evil is a sleeper film,when you consider the X-mas Horror genre. Luckily now it is easy to find on cheap DVDs. And a nice remastered version is also out for those that want better picture and sound. I enjoyed this movie,even with the slow parts,and give it a B-.

31 days of horror Day 14

Cheerleader Camp

Source-Anchor Bay DVD

Made at the end of the slasher cycle,Cheerleader Camp is a film that shows that with a little dash of humor,and stocking the film with 2 Playboy Playmates you can still have a film that is remembered even now. The main cast is made up of Betsy Russell,Teri Weigel,Rebecca Ferratti,and Leif Garrett. They are the cheer leading team from Lindo Valley,and they head up to Camp Hurrah to end the National Cheer leading contest. Yes even though this film is from 1987 Leif is trying his best to pass as a teenager. The film goes as you would expect from a mid 80's slasher movie,blood,guts,and tits. Sadly the killer is so easy to spot,when they first appear most people should be able to tell that they will be the killer. Overall a decent film,perfect for gathering a group of friends over,and drinking a few cold ones while watching. The DVD is easy to find for cheap,IIRC I got my copy still sealed for about $6 total. Cheerleader Camp gets a B.

31 days of horror Day 13

Trick 'r Treat

Source-Warner Premiere DVD

After waiting almost 2 years,this is finally released. TRT is an anthology film with 4 main stories. The first story is about the local school Principal,who has a unusual way of craving "pumpkins". The second story has a group of 5 kids who are going around collecting jack-o-lanterns. After getting 8 of them they go down to the local rock quarry. Where the lead girl tells a tale about a school bus full of 'tards going into the water. The third story,which we have been seeing pieces of since the start of the film. Has Anna Paquin,and 3 of her friends. The get Halloween costumes and the three other girls head off to a huge bonfire party. Anna hangs around town for awhile then finally starts walking to the party. She meets what at first seems to be a legit vampire. But in this story things are not how they seem. The last story stars the great Brian Cox. He is the neighborhood asshole. Scaring kids off and stealing their candy. But like in all good EC comic stories he gets what is coming to him in the end. All 4 stories are somewhat tied together by a little kid that is dressed in red footie pajamas,and has a tater sack for a mask on his head. He is cute and terrifying at the same time. And I bet next year you will see piles of Lil kids in this outfit. I still don't understand why this was held up for 2 years then given a DTV release. If they had released this to theaters in the month of October I feel it would have easily made a decent showing at the box office. It is the first film I have watched this year that invokes the Halloween spirit. Shit the only flaw I found in it was the use of Marilyn Mason's earsplitting bad cover of "Sweet Dreams". A,would have gotten an A+ but the Mason song dropped it down a notch.

31 Days of horror Day 12

Jack Ketchum's Offspring

Source-Ghosthouse Underground DVD

First off I am a huge Jack Ketchum fan,and also have been very impressed with the 3 previous films based on his novels. So when I first heard about a film adaptation of Offspring,which is my second favorite novel from him,I was very excited. I had a feeling that no R rated movie could accurately recreate the novel.

A recently divorced mother and her son travel up to the Maine coast to visit some friends. The first day there the mom gets a call from her ex-husband. He is driving up to come see them. This upsets her cause he was abusive and she has a restraining order against him. Later that night before he arrives a local "family" of cannibals attacks the house. The husband of the couple dies first in a pretty gruesome way. 3 of the cannibal kids surround the wife of the couple,but the divorced mom manages to run up stairs,get the couple's baby,and makes it to the room her son is sleeping in. The oldest male of the cannibals follows her and tries to get in the room. The cannibals want the baby to replace one that died earlier. The mom gets her son to jump out the window and she follows while holding the baby. All three of them run off into the woods. The male cannibal manages to break thru the door and sees them running off into the woods. He goes and tells the head of the "family", a very alpha female. And she tells all the kids to run after them. They run out and this is the moment that the ex-husband happens to drive up. The cannibal kids assault his car,and he manages to drive off. As he is driving very fast down the dirt roads leading away from the house,he runs into 3 cops that are looking for the cannibals. They start to question him,and he runs off into the woods. Meanwhile Mom,son,and baby are hiding in a tree house the son had found earlier. For some unknown reason the Mom decides they need to keep moving. So they all climb down . They run for a short while when they run into the eldest male cannibal. The mom hands the baby off to her son and tells him to run. Mom is taken hostage by the male,but the son manages to make it back to the tree house. He leaves the baby up there and climbs down and starts trailing the cannibal that is dragging his mom to the cave where they live. The ex-husband comes out of the woods onto a beach,where he is accosted by some of the cannibals . They cut him on his left calf and leave him on the beach. Not much later the 3 cops are a little ways away from the ex-husband on the beach. They think they hear something and 3 of the cannibal kids attack them. One cop gets a very long nail shoved into his left eye. another is stabbed in the gut.The cop with the nail in his eye ,pulls out his gun and shots the kid that is still hanging on him directly in the head. The third cop,who is actually a retired cop that has dealt with some of this "family before,is knocked to the ground. He hits his head on a rock and passes out. The Alpha female cannibal comes along sees the three presumed dead cops,plus the dead kid,and tells one of the surviving kids to take the dead body up to the cave. Alpha female keeps walking along the beach and finds ex-husband,and she finds a connection in him.So she helps him to his feet and they head towards the cave. The son sees all of this and also heads towards the cave. The ex-cop comes too and heads down the beach,where he meets up with the son. This leads up to a very violent and gruesome showdown that would ruin the movie if i talked about it. The acting was uniformly good. The story follows the book very closely. And the special effects amazed me,since I knew this was a very low budget film. I found this to be a stunningly brutal movie,that really didn't pull any punches,and it is the best American made cannibal movie I have seen. Not only that but it is also the best horror film I have seen this year. A+

31 Days of horror Day 11

Dead Alive AKA Brain Dead

Source-Unrated Trimark DVD

Ah Dead Alive also known as Brain Dead in most other countries. Fuck Lord of the rings,King Kong ,this is truly Peter Jackson's masterpiece. Set back in the 1950's in New Zealand. Lionel is a 30ish man who still lives with and takes care of his aging mother. One day he takes the cute girl that works at the local grocery store to the zoo. His mom follows him and while she is spying on him gets bit by a Sumatrian Rat Monkey. At first all seems normal, then she starts turning into zombie. He tries his best to keep her inside his house. Sorta a reverse of "Night of the living dead". But after his sleazy uncle shows up,all hell breaks loose. The Uncle throws a wild party. Lionel has his mother,plus a few other people she has bitten,locked up in the basement. But one of the drunken party goers opens the basement door and the zombies escape. Around this same time Lionel's girlfriend shows up and gets trapped in a room in the house. This has to be one of the bloodiest movies I have ever seen. IIRC the famous lawnmower scene has about 50 gallons of blood spraying everywhere. Sadly I seems very unlikely that Peter Jackson will ever go back to making low budget horror/comedies again. Which is too bad,cause he has a real gift for comedy. Dead Alive is a solid A+.

31 days of horror Day 10

Funny Games-2007 American Remake

Source-Warner Brothers DVD

I saw the original German version of Funny Games quite a few years ago. This shot for shot remake,which has the same director as the original,while exactly the same as the original doesn't have the emotional impact. A couple and their son,Naomi Watts and Tim Roth,are heading to their vacation home that is on a lake. They arrive and Tim and his son go out to get the sailboat prepared. While this is happening Naomi is getting dinner ready when a knock is at the door. She answers it and it is 2 teenage boys,who say that the neighbors sent them over to borrow some eggs. Both boys have an air of uneasiness surrounding them. Tim Roth and the son come back into the house around the time both boys are leaving,there is a confrontation and the two boys get the upper hand and take the couple and their son hostage. From here it becomes a series of sick and twisted games that the two boys play with the family. One thing that a lot of people don't notice on first viewing is 99% of the violence happens off screen and we only really see the aftermath. While this movie clearly draws on Last house on the left,Last house on the beach,and House on the edge of the park,it doesn't fall into the exploitation of the audience that the others do. One scene which I have to mention,but can't say much about without spoiling one of the best moments in movies in many years,It seems that Naomi Watts is getting the upper hand on the two boys. But quickly you find out that she only has a very "remote" chance. For some reason the original worked better on an emotional level,even though it was subtitled. This one is still good,but it didn't have as an intense effect on me. Still I would have to give it a solid A.

31 Days of horror Day 9

Stephen King's Desperation

Source-Lionsgate DVD release

Desperation while not one of King's better novels was still a enjoyable read. This is a Made for TV adaptation of that novel. It starts with a couple who are driving a car across country. The lady of the couple mentions that the car and most of the stuff in it are her sisters. They get pulled over in the desert by a cop,Ron Perlman. He ask to search the car and they agree to the search. While looking in the trunk he discovers a bag of weed. So he arrest both of them and puts them in the back of his patrol car. While on the ride to the nearest town,the cop starts saying strange words and making very strange sounds. Then he coughs and blood sprays outta his mouth and hits the windshield. Once they get to the town,the couple notices that there is no one in the town. The cop pulls up to the jail and takes them inside. Inside they meet a family of 3,mom dad and son. After some quick thinking they manage to get outta the jail and are slowly making their way outta town when they start to realize that all is not as it seems. I was actually surprised at how much gore was in this since it was Made for TV,IIRC it aired on ABC. Overall the acting is good,and it follows the novel pretty closely until the very end. Then there is some changes from the novel,but they seem to mainly be because of budget reasons. Overall it is a solid B+.

31 Days of horror Day 8

Masters of Horror Dreams in the Witch House

Source-Anchor Bay retail release DVD

Again thanks to Netflix being a shithead I ended up changing what I was gonna review today. Luckily what was supposed to be here today is gonna be here tomorrow. Masters of Horror was a TV series that aired on Showtime for 2 seasons. Each Director was told to make an hour long short film,and not to worry about being censored. Stuart Gordon,who is a well known H P Lovecraft fan, based his short on the Lovecraft story "Dreams in the Witch House." College student Walter Gilman moves into a house that is used as a boarding house. He meets his neighbor who is a single mom with a very young baby. Then that night he starts seeing very weird things in the corners of his room,lots of geometric shapes and other stuff that looks kinda like stuff I saw in my 9th grade geometry class. The next day he is laying in his bed resting and a rat runs up on the bed,but this is no ordinary rat this rat has a human face. And it can talk. Walter starts seeing more and more strange things,and he has a dream where he tries to sacrifice the other tenant's baby. Turns out the witch,who lives inside the walls of the home,wants to be reborn and is gonna try to use the baby to facilitate that. I don't wanna spoil this very interesting story anymore so I will stop there. The effects are pretty good for something that is on a TV budget,and the acting while not the best is better than most television level acting. Stuart Gordan is really good at keeping you off kilter and keeping a sense of dread building. This is a A-,would have been higher but it was a little too short.

31 Days of horror Day 7

Night of the Demons III aka Demon House

Source-Bootleg DVD that is a rip of a German DVD release

I can remember seeing the original Night of the Demons years ago,and really enjoying it. So when I found part III ,which isn't out on Region 1 DVD, for cheap I had to get it. Weirdly I purchased this DVD back in 2004,but until earlier tonight I had never watched it. Film starts out with a cop checking out Hell House,a former mortuary. He encounters Angela,the lead villain from part 1,and he is quickly killed. Cut to a semi-mousy looking teen and her best friend the head cheerleader. They are discussing what they want to do tonight,since it is Halloween. Another quick cut and we meet a group of 5 late teens,all driving around aimlessly in a van. It is the usual assortment of horror movie teens,IE nerdy guy,tough guy who happens to look like the lead singer from nickelback,his current slut,tough guy that isn't as tough as he acts,and token black guy. While driving around the back roads they see that mousy girl and the cheerleader have broken down. They stop and offer them a ride to the big school dance. But before they get there tough guy makes then stop at the corner gas station. While inside token black guy tries to use his older brother's ID to buy some beer. An argument starts. And then the gas station attendant pulls a shotgun on him. Tough guy grabs the shotgun,and right at that moment 2 cops walk into the store. Tough guy accidentally shoots one of the cops,who flies out the window. And token black guy is also shot. All 7 of the teens flee the gas station,and since they think they have killed a cop,they try to think of a place to hideout till they can come up with a plan. Of course they end up at Hell House. Not long after arriving there they meet Angela. And one by one Angela takes their souls. Token black guy gets run over by the van,and comes back as a mutilated zombie. Tough guy's slut has her left arm change into a snake. Nerdy guy gets a devil head. Mousy girl turns into a half cat half slut. So the only two left are cheerleader and not so tough guy. Turns out they both have been harboring a secret crush on each other since the beginning of school. They are trying to escape with the help of another cop that has shown up,when tough guy walks out of the house with a gun to Angela's head. Not so tough guy shoots Angela in the face with the shotgun,and somehow tough guy ends up getting shot in his left eye. Which was a really well done piece of F/X. The cop goes up to distract Angela while the two teens try to leave the area. See a river runs underground around Hell House ,and demons can't cross running water. Angela ends up ripping out the cop's heart. and grabs cheerleader's arm as she is almost across the underground river. Not so tough guy grabs the cheerleader's other arm and manages to pull her and Angela across the line. This causes Angela to sorta explode and melt at the same time. The new kinda happy couple walk off and the movie ends. While not as good as the original,but really can anything top the "disappearing" lipstick gag? This is still a funny turn off your brain horror film. So it gets a B+ from me.

31 Days of horror Day 6

Boarding House

Source-Code Red DVD

Horrible horrible movie,even worse than Dawn of the living dead. Worse than anything Ed Wood put out. Guy inherits house,turns it into a Boarding house for slightly skanky looking females. Someone with telekinesis is killing off the girls. Even the abundant nudity can't save this huge pile of shit. Shot on video,and it shows,this movie was made back in the early 80's. And somehow was released to theaters. All the actors/actresses are worse than the worst little theater production. While watching this abortion of a movie,it felt like my brain was turning into liquid and pouring out my ears. I doubt that even Joel/Mike and the bots could save this waste of celluloid. Avoid at all costs. This gets a F-. I have seen more entertaining film on my dog's teeth.

31 Days of horror Day 5

Dawn of the Living Dead

Source-Retail DVD

Found this "gem" around this time last year at a local once a year flea market. It was still sealed and only cost me $3. Too bad I got ripped off for $2.99. I should have known better when the biggest names in the cast were Joe Estevez and Todd Bridges. It is your basic zombie movie,but for some reason you never see more than 3 zombies at anytime. Joe is the male lead and we are supposed to believe he is married to a woman that is half his age. Bridges has a very very small part as the local "crazy Ralph". Not sure if it's acting or Todd's love of crack,but it is very hard to understand what he is saying. And thanks to a lack of subtitles a lot of the dialogue is drowned out by the horrid musical score. Avoid this movie at all cost. I have a friend out in Texas that seems to love any horrid piece of shit horror movie,so I will be sending this to her as a X-mas gift. This gets an F-.

31 days of horror Day 4

Zombie Nightmare

Source-bootleg DVD from it's airing on MST3K

OK I was supposed to get this movie in on Saturday,but it didn't arrive. Then I realized I have on DVD the episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 that Zombie Nightmare aired on.

Movie starts with credits and Motorhead's "Ace of spades" playing,good way to start a movie in my opinion. The main star is this big muscle head named Jon Mikel Thor. About 7 minutes into the film Thor's dad dies,and we flash forward about 15 years. Now Thor is all grown up and seems to love playing baseball and wearing tank tops that show his nipples. Then we cut to a group of 5 Canadian Hair Metal fans. 3 guys 2 girls,One of the girls is a very young and super hot Tia Carrerre. Cut back to Thor,he goes to the local corner store to pick up some stuff. He goes to the back to use the bathroom,and while back there 2 punks come in and start robbing the place. Thor stops the robbery,and chases the punks out to the streets. While he is standing in the middle of the road yelling at the fleeing robbers he gets hit by a car driven by on of the 5 Canadian Hair Metal fans. This kills poor Thor,the car drives off quickly. And Thor is left dead in the street. The owner of the corner store calls Thor's mom and she arrives. His mom goes and gets the local Voodoo woman,who proceeds to turn Thor into Zombie Thor. Zombie Thor goes out each night and one by one kills each of the 5 CHMFs. The first guy he kills by breaking his neck,and he also kills the girl who isn't Tia,by pulping her head with his ever present baseball bat. The next morning the cops show up,and we get to see the coroner who sounds just like Burgess Meridith as the Penguin. The main cop goes back to the station house and goes to see the Captain. HOLY SHIT BATMAN!!!! the Captain is Adam West. Man you just know a movie is gonna be great when the biggest stars you can get are Adam West and Tia Carrere. The next night Zombie Thor shambles around and meets up with the guy who was driving the car that killed him. Zombie Thor impales this jackass on his baseball bat. The last guy left and Tia decided they must get outta town,but since they are both broken they will have to knock over a garage that is owned by a friend of theirs cousin. They arrive at the garage and last guy goes off to find the cash box,He runs into Zombie Thor who is now looking pretty ragged. Last Guy is killed but the kill wasn't shown. About this time main cop shows up and notices that Voodoo Woman is also there,he gets her to use her dark powers to open the garage door and he enters. Voodoo Woman shuts the door and waits outside. Adam West drives up and makes her get into his car. Inside the garage,main cop sees Zombie Thor smashing Tia's head up against a window until her brains ooze out. Since this is the last of the people that killed him Zombie Thor starts his long journey back to his grave. Main cop,Adam West,and Voodoo Woman also head towards the graveyard. When they get there Zombie Thor is just standing still on his grave. Adam West reveals that when he was younger he tried to rape Voodoo Woman. Then He shoots Zombie Thor,then he shoots Voodoo Woman. He is getting ready to shoot Main Cop ,but Zombie Thor comes up on him from behind and drags Adam down in the grave with him. Fade to black and the credits start to roll while some really bad metal plays. Man I get the feeling that without Mike,Tom Servo,and Crow in the bottom right corner this movie would have been a lot worse. But thanks to their rapid fire wit I managed to enjoy it. So the final grade is B-.

31 days of horror Day 3

Silent Night Deadly Night II

Source-Out of print Anchor Bay dvd

Ahh Silent Night Deadly Night II,the sequel that is mainly made up of footage from the first film. This one is about the little brother of the lead from part 1. After growing up semi-normal in a adopted family,lil bro finally snaps and proceeds to go on a rampage of violence. IIRC His first kill is in an alleyway in which he impales a guy on an umbrella. Next he hooks a preppy dickhead up to a battery charger,then he walks around the neighborhood randomly shooting people. This part is were the meme "Garbage Day!!!!" comes from. On this dvd there is a commentary from the producer and directer in which they explain that since at the time very very very few people had seen the original,they were told to use a lot of the footage from part 1. Basicly they used almost all the kills from part 1 but these are from an R rated cut so some of the kills are shorter than they should be. This film gets a lot of bad reviews since about half of it is nothing but scenes from the previous film. I actually like it,and don't seem to hate it as much as most people. I would have to give it a C+.

31 days of horror Day 2

The Devils

Source-Bootleg DVD which is a composite of the region 2 dvd with the 2 "Lost" scenes from an airing on BBC4.

Directed by Ken Russell back in the mid 70's,The Devils is a film that stirred up a heap of controversy when first released. It is a tale of a convent in France where alot of the nuns seem to be possessed. Up until a few years ago 2 different scenes that were cut from the film before it was released were thought to have been lost. I recently got a copy of the film with these two scenes reinstated. The most Infamous of the two is the "Rape of Christ" scene. In which a gaggle of nuns strip nude and proceed to pull a giant crucifix down and then start rubbing their nude body's all over the representation of Christ. This scene even to an staunch Atheist like me is still stunning too watch. Hopefully the full cut of this movie will be released on DVD in Region 1. Overall I would have to give this film an A-.

31 days of horror Day 1

It is simple I'm gonna watch one horror movie a night for 31 days.

The Haunted World of El Superbeasto

Source-Anchor Bay dvd

The long talked about Rob Zombie animated movie is here. Based on a comic I have never read,it is a mixture of all kinds of standard horror cliches. The story is simple and basic but works within the framework of the movie. El Superbeasto is a retired luchadore who along with his sister,Suzi X,fight crime in MonsterCity. What can you find wrong in a movie that has Zombie Nazis,Super Smart Ape Servants,and A stripper that uses her breasts as weapons? The animation reminds me alot of the Spumco style,with alot of extreme close ups,and very exaggerated movement. I ended up enjoying it,but wouldn't pay more than $10 for it. Overall it's a B-.