TITLE-Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven
SOURCE-TubiTV streaming service
A few years ago I learned that a company had gotten the rights to the Witchcraft franchise and was making a new film. So I waited and waited to hear more news on Witchcraft 14. Then a bombshell piece of news dropped...the new company was going to film 3 Witchcraft films back to back! FUCK YEA we are going to get 3 more subpar horror/softcore porn combo films.
So I kept checking Netflix and all the other places I rented/bought dvds from. And never saw Witchcraft 14 for sale or rent. By early 2019 I had given up on seeing these 3 new Witchcraft films. Not sure why I love this franchise so much. All the films are shit. But still for some unknown reason I feel the need to see and own every film from the series.
Earlier this year I was looking for a new horror film to watch. Looked through the selection on Netflix and Hulu and it was mostly crap. So I started looking at the free streaming services. Hoping maybe one of them might have a hidden gem. Then on TubiTV I saw Witchcraft 16 Hollywood Coven. I figured since the previous films were rarely connected I could watch 16 before seeing 14 and 15 and not be lost...I was wrong.
Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven is set on a low budget horror film set. A crew is making Crystal Force 12.Crystal Force was a attempt by Vista Street to make another franchise like Witchcraft. But we only got 2 Crystal Force films. But in the reality of this film Crystal Force is a long running series.
The film starts off like most of the Witchcraft films since part 10,with a pre-credits sex scene. Yep get to see some boobies and ass before we even know who is in the film. After what feels like 20 minutes of the most boring softcore sex scene I have seen the credits start. They go on FOREVER and feel like who ever created them was a huge fan of the tv shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed.
After the credits the story proper starts. A crew of people is making a low budget horror flick. And somehow by making the film they bring back the spirits of some long dead witches...WHAT THE FUCK! Witchcraft XVI is ripping off the plot of Witchcraft 11. But instead of a communtiy college production of Macbeth we get a low budget film crew making a shitty horror sequel.
Then when I thought the film couldn't be anymore shit they figure out a way to be shittier. Two of the crew members are having a date. So they go to watch Crystal Force 9. And we get footage from Witchcraft 11. And it isn't just say 30 seconds to a minute of reused footage. Nope we get most of Witchcraft 11's pre credits sex scene. Then it skips ahead to the polterguiest attack scene from near the end of 11. To make this part of the film even more horrid it cuts back to the two crew members watching the film. And the male actor well...he is the worst actor I have seen in low budget horror. No emotion. Very little facial expressions. Plus it appears he is reading his lines off cue cards being held just off camera.
The rest of the film is 5 minutes of plot followed by 10 minute long badly shot and acted softcore sex scenes. The FX work in the non-sex scene parts is bad. I swear we did better FX work back in 92 when I got my first camcorder. Hell we had better actors.
Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven gets a F.
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
31 Days of Horror Extra 02
Ahh The Walking Dead...a great comic and a really good TV show. As yall might know the comic ended earlier this year. So I figured why not do a piece on one of the best comic series of the modern era.
I wasn't reading many comics when TWD started. Sure I went to the comic shop every week. But I had been cutting back on my monthly comics. The first issue came out and the comic shop owner told me about it. I figured "Why bother reading this. Odds are good it will last a year then get cancelled." So I skipped the chance to get the first issue of the biggest hit Image Comics has ever had.
Skip ahead to 2008. I was listening to every episode of the Comic Geek Speak podcast. And they would review the trades of TWD. Listening to these reviews I got very interested in the comic. But at the time didn't have a comic shop near me. Plus no bookstores near me. So once again I didn't start reading the comic.
The TV show starts. And I was hooked. Right after season 1 was over I found the Walking Dead compendium trade. A massive tome that reprinted the first 50 or so issues. I got it on sale for 30 bucks. Ordered it and the day it came in I went out to my back porch and sat there for 6 hours reading. The next day I made the long trip to the nearest comic shop and bought the next trade following the compendium. Yep I was hooked. So hooked on the series that I actually started a pull list at the comic shop,first time I have had one since 2001. And every month would drive almost 2 hours round trip to get TWD.
A few years later I am at my local Walmart and see they have the second Compendium. And for some reason it is stocked with the kids books. Even though there is a big "FOR MATURE READERS" warning on the COmpendium. I see a lady stocking the book area. Bring the COmpendiun over and show her that they might not want to stock this in with the kids books. She moves them to a different area. Weeks later I see they are back with the kids books. I ended up talking to the store manager and get told "It's a comic all comics get stocked in the kids section." I show the manager the violence and stuff in the book that makes it not for kids. But they refuse to move the book. Skip ahead a few days. I am in the book section killing time and I hear a lady at the returns counter screaming "YOU SOLD MY 9 YEAR OLD SON VIOLENT PORNO!" I look over and she is waving a copy of the second compendium at a very confused elderly lady working in returns.
I love the comic. I love how Kirkman manages to create characters that feel so real you get upset when one of them dies. And how he usually manages to create storylines that flow naturally and make sense.
The TV show...well I go through periods of loving and and times were I just feel like the show is spinning it's wheels. For example I really enjoyed the first season. But the second season was so boring I almost gave up on the TV show. Hell the season that aired in 2018/2019 I never even finished. It's not that that season was bad. Just it feels like the writers had enough story for 10 episodes then added filler to make it be more episodes. I know what happens in the last 3 episodes of that season. And still have them sitting on my DVR. But I doubt I watch them,
But back to the comic. Kirkman has said for years now that he had the end of the comic already planned out. It was going to end with issue 300. So when in issue 192 Rick Grimes died I figured that his son Carl would become the lead and we would get a bit over 100 issues with a grown Carl as the main. Hell Kirkman even had covers created for issues 194 and 195. He even solicited those issues. Then the day before issue 193 came out the news broke that 193 is the final issue. This news was a shock to most people.
Honestly I haven't read the last 4 issues of The Walking Dead comic yet. Not cause I think they will suck. But more cause I love this series so much I don't want it to end. And in my mind until I read the final issue the series isn't over. It has been hard to avoid spoilers. But somehow I have.
Now that it is over I will say what I have read,pretty much the entire series minus those final 4 issues,is one of the best horror comics to come out since EC folded. Every time it looked like Kirkman had written himself into a corner he figured out a ingenious way to get out of that corner.
The TV show is good. But it feels a bit neutered. Maybe cause the network it airs on is afraid to do certain things. Like how in the comic at the end of the prison arc Lori,Rick's wife,and her daughter Judith are shot and killed. In the show Lori died giving birth to Judith. And Judith is now the only member of Rick's family left on the show. Some of the stuff that was toned down I understand. Like how Negan's abundant use of profanity is cut way down in the show. In the comic most of the time when Negan is speaking the word fuck is used at least 4 times. In the show so far he hasn't said the f-word once. But then there is stuff in the show that goes beyond the comic. The best example is Glenn's death. In the comic it is brutal and shocking. In the show it is 10 times more brutal. Might be cause it isn't just still images. Might be cause while in the comic I liked Glenn on the show Glenn was my favorite character.
One last thing before I wrap this up. I know so many people that aren't into horror/zombies but they love The Walking Dead. Like my mother. She has never liked zombie movies. And hates gore. But every week she watches Walking Dead and she even watches the spinoff show. She gets mad when the season ends. Just cause she knows she is going to have to wait months to find out what happens next.
So goodbye to one of the best horror comics ever. Thank you to Robert Kirkman and everyone else that worked on the comic.
I wasn't reading many comics when TWD started. Sure I went to the comic shop every week. But I had been cutting back on my monthly comics. The first issue came out and the comic shop owner told me about it. I figured "Why bother reading this. Odds are good it will last a year then get cancelled." So I skipped the chance to get the first issue of the biggest hit Image Comics has ever had.
Skip ahead to 2008. I was listening to every episode of the Comic Geek Speak podcast. And they would review the trades of TWD. Listening to these reviews I got very interested in the comic. But at the time didn't have a comic shop near me. Plus no bookstores near me. So once again I didn't start reading the comic.
The TV show starts. And I was hooked. Right after season 1 was over I found the Walking Dead compendium trade. A massive tome that reprinted the first 50 or so issues. I got it on sale for 30 bucks. Ordered it and the day it came in I went out to my back porch and sat there for 6 hours reading. The next day I made the long trip to the nearest comic shop and bought the next trade following the compendium. Yep I was hooked. So hooked on the series that I actually started a pull list at the comic shop,first time I have had one since 2001. And every month would drive almost 2 hours round trip to get TWD.
A few years later I am at my local Walmart and see they have the second Compendium. And for some reason it is stocked with the kids books. Even though there is a big "FOR MATURE READERS" warning on the COmpendium. I see a lady stocking the book area. Bring the COmpendiun over and show her that they might not want to stock this in with the kids books. She moves them to a different area. Weeks later I see they are back with the kids books. I ended up talking to the store manager and get told "It's a comic all comics get stocked in the kids section." I show the manager the violence and stuff in the book that makes it not for kids. But they refuse to move the book. Skip ahead a few days. I am in the book section killing time and I hear a lady at the returns counter screaming "YOU SOLD MY 9 YEAR OLD SON VIOLENT PORNO!" I look over and she is waving a copy of the second compendium at a very confused elderly lady working in returns.
I love the comic. I love how Kirkman manages to create characters that feel so real you get upset when one of them dies. And how he usually manages to create storylines that flow naturally and make sense.
The TV show...well I go through periods of loving and and times were I just feel like the show is spinning it's wheels. For example I really enjoyed the first season. But the second season was so boring I almost gave up on the TV show. Hell the season that aired in 2018/2019 I never even finished. It's not that that season was bad. Just it feels like the writers had enough story for 10 episodes then added filler to make it be more episodes. I know what happens in the last 3 episodes of that season. And still have them sitting on my DVR. But I doubt I watch them,
But back to the comic. Kirkman has said for years now that he had the end of the comic already planned out. It was going to end with issue 300. So when in issue 192 Rick Grimes died I figured that his son Carl would become the lead and we would get a bit over 100 issues with a grown Carl as the main. Hell Kirkman even had covers created for issues 194 and 195. He even solicited those issues. Then the day before issue 193 came out the news broke that 193 is the final issue. This news was a shock to most people.
Honestly I haven't read the last 4 issues of The Walking Dead comic yet. Not cause I think they will suck. But more cause I love this series so much I don't want it to end. And in my mind until I read the final issue the series isn't over. It has been hard to avoid spoilers. But somehow I have.
Now that it is over I will say what I have read,pretty much the entire series minus those final 4 issues,is one of the best horror comics to come out since EC folded. Every time it looked like Kirkman had written himself into a corner he figured out a ingenious way to get out of that corner.
The TV show is good. But it feels a bit neutered. Maybe cause the network it airs on is afraid to do certain things. Like how in the comic at the end of the prison arc Lori,Rick's wife,and her daughter Judith are shot and killed. In the show Lori died giving birth to Judith. And Judith is now the only member of Rick's family left on the show. Some of the stuff that was toned down I understand. Like how Negan's abundant use of profanity is cut way down in the show. In the comic most of the time when Negan is speaking the word fuck is used at least 4 times. In the show so far he hasn't said the f-word once. But then there is stuff in the show that goes beyond the comic. The best example is Glenn's death. In the comic it is brutal and shocking. In the show it is 10 times more brutal. Might be cause it isn't just still images. Might be cause while in the comic I liked Glenn on the show Glenn was my favorite character.
One last thing before I wrap this up. I know so many people that aren't into horror/zombies but they love The Walking Dead. Like my mother. She has never liked zombie movies. And hates gore. But every week she watches Walking Dead and she even watches the spinoff show. She gets mad when the season ends. Just cause she knows she is going to have to wait months to find out what happens next.
So goodbye to one of the best horror comics ever. Thank you to Robert Kirkman and everyone else that worked on the comic.