SOURCE-TubiTV streaming service
A few years ago I learned that a company had gotten the rights to the Witchcraft franchise and was making a new film. So I waited and waited to hear more news on Witchcraft 14. Then a bombshell piece of news dropped...the new company was going to film 3 Witchcraft films back to back! FUCK YEA we are going to get 3 more subpar horror/softcore porn combo films.
So I kept checking Netflix and all the other places I rented/bought dvds from. And never saw Witchcraft 14 for sale or rent. By early 2019 I had given up on seeing these 3 new Witchcraft films. Not sure why I love this franchise so much. All the films are shit. But still for some unknown reason I feel the need to see and own every film from the series.
Earlier this year I was looking for a new horror film to watch. Looked through the selection on Netflix and Hulu and it was mostly crap. So I started looking at the free streaming services. Hoping maybe one of them might have a hidden gem. Then on TubiTV I saw Witchcraft 16 Hollywood Coven. I figured since the previous films were rarely connected I could watch 16 before seeing 14 and 15 and not be lost...I was wrong.
Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven is set on a low budget horror film set. A crew is making Crystal Force 12.Crystal Force was a attempt by Vista Street to make another franchise like Witchcraft. But we only got 2 Crystal Force films. But in the reality of this film Crystal Force is a long running series.
The film starts off like most of the Witchcraft films since part 10,with a pre-credits sex scene. Yep get to see some boobies and ass before we even know who is in the film. After what feels like 20 minutes of the most boring softcore sex scene I have seen the credits start. They go on FOREVER and feel like who ever created them was a huge fan of the tv shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Charmed.
After the credits the story proper starts. A crew of people is making a low budget horror flick. And somehow by making the film they bring back the spirits of some long dead witches...WHAT THE FUCK! Witchcraft XVI is ripping off the plot of Witchcraft 11. But instead of a communtiy college production of Macbeth we get a low budget film crew making a shitty horror sequel.
Then when I thought the film couldn't be anymore shit they figure out a way to be shittier. Two of the crew members are having a date. So they go to watch Crystal Force 9. And we get footage from Witchcraft 11. And it isn't just say 30 seconds to a minute of reused footage. Nope we get most of Witchcraft 11's pre credits sex scene. Then it skips ahead to the polterguiest attack scene from near the end of 11. To make this part of the film even more horrid it cuts back to the two crew members watching the film. And the male actor well...he is the worst actor I have seen in low budget horror. No emotion. Very little facial expressions. Plus it appears he is reading his lines off cue cards being held just off camera.
The rest of the film is 5 minutes of plot followed by 10 minute long badly shot and acted softcore sex scenes. The FX work in the non-sex scene parts is bad. I swear we did better FX work back in 92 when I got my first camcorder. Hell we had better actors.
Witchcraft XVI Hollywood Coven gets a F.
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