Opening a VHS that has been sealed for almost 20 years

Santa Claus is coming to town VHS review

Poltergeist 2&3 Blu Ray Showcase

Chrissie Claus Issues 1&2 Showcase

Sealed Fraggle Rock early 90s VHS

There's nothing out there DVD Showcase

I take a trip out to the pier to do a short review of the early 90s cult horror film There's Nothing Out There.

Super Powers Team Galactic Guardians DVD Showcase

Surprise package from ???

New Xmas Pez plus trying out new sugar cookie flavor Pez

Happy Thanksgiving from Asshat Podcast on YouTube

DIY Mississippi Filmworks Thanksgiving vid

Mystery package from CodyLL

Uncle Scrooge issue 277 Showcase

MyArcade Pac Man Pocket Player Showcase

Chop Kick Panda and Friends DVD showcase

Halloween Day Horror VHS collection update

31 Days of Horror Day 31 TARANTULAS: THE DEADLY CARGO

Title-Tarantulas:The Deadly Cargo
Source-Svengoolie airing

Back in the 70s it felt like every few weeks one of the 3 networks would air a new made for TV horror film. Some were great like Duel. Some were middle of the road. Then some were boring like today's movie.

We start off with Tom Atkins and Howard Hesseman are smuggling a large amount of coffee beans fro  Ecuador.  Yea not drugs these morons are smuggling coffee. And in those black market beans is a deadly bunch of banana spiders.

The plane crashes right outside the town of Finleyville CA. These spiders have a fast acting deadly venom. People all over town start dropping dead.

While this movie is only 100 minutes long it feels like it was 6 hours. Not sure if the print Sven showed was in bad shape, but the colors look faded. And if I didn't know better I would think this was filmed on an cheap early 90s camcorder.

At least Sven's bits were entertaining. But they weren't good enough for me to ever watch this movie ever again.

Tarantulas:The Deadly Cargo gets a F+.

10 Super Spooky random DVDs part 10

31 Days of Horror Day 30 Two Evil Eyes

Title-2 Evil Eyes
Source-Vudu

Yep another film I read about in Fangoria. I was looking forwArd to this movie. Where George Romero,RIP, and Dario Argento would each adapt a classic tale of Horror from Edgar Allen Poe. Much time passed and the movie never played any theater near me. Saw that it was hitting VHS. But no video store I went to had a copy. Finally late one weeknight in 92 it aired on Showtime. So I stayed up till 2am to watch it.

Up first is Romero's part,The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar. Which is about a wife using hypnosis to get her elderly husband to give her control of his money.

The husband has a heart attack while hypnotized. So the wife and her lover hide they body. Which causes all kinds of creepy shit to start happening. 

This is based on one of the few Poe stories I haven't read. Adrianne Barbeau is the wife. And for some reason she still has the crappy perm she had on Maude. 

Over all it is decent. But I was expecting much more from Romero. 

The second story is directed by Dario Argento and is based on The Black Cat. We get Harvey Kietel as the lead. He is a crime scene photographer.

This story is much better than The first one.  It looks great.  Has good sound design. Plus Harvey is a way more talented actor than Adrianne.

Sadly even though the film is based on stories from a great author,and has two mega talented directors at the helm...well it turns out to be average at best. 

Two Evil Eyes gets a C+.

10 Super Spooky random Horror DVDs part 9

31 Days of Horror Day 29 The Fergusons

Title-The Fergusons
Source-Vudu

Was looking for something to watch. And saw that Vudu had a bunch of Horror films for free viewing. Then saw that 90s Skinamax star Monique Parent was one of the leads in this film and figured "Hell it's free give it a watch."

Ms Parent,her husband and two kids move into a new neighborhood. They seem a bit odd. And fairly quickly I figured out the twist. The family are all cannibals.

Yep it's a low budget ripoff of Parents. The acting is ok. And the FX work is ok. But the film has that cheap soap opera look. Well at least the film was barely over an hour long.

The Fergusons gets a C.

10 Super Spooky random Horror DVDs part 8

31 Days of Horror Day 28 Zombie Strippers

Title-Zombie Strippers
Source-DVD

Set in the near future Zombie Strippers is set in a world where the USA is at war with numerous countries. Lacking troops a scientist creates a way to bring dead soldiers back.

One of these zombie soldiers get loose and a team of zombie hunters are sent to find it. One of the hunters gets bit. Becomes a zombie and wanders into a strip club.

He bites the feature dancer, who is played by Jenna Jameson. And she becomes mega popular as a zombie stripper. And starts turning all the other strippers into zombies.

The FX work is decent. The script isn't bad. What hurts this film is the horrible acting. With only Robert England ,as the club owner,being any good. Gotta mention the best scene in the film. Jenna and another Zombie stripper are fighting. And Jenna takes a billiard ball ,shoves it into her vagina and launches it across the room.

Zombie Strippers gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror Day 27 The Night Walker

Title-The Night Walker
Source-Svengoolie airing on MeTV

I thought I had seen all the William Castle horror movies. So back in the summer when I saw Svengoolie was airing The Night Walker I set the DVR.And now after watching it I see why I hadn't heard of this film before.

The Night Walker is one of the very last b/w features made for Universal. And is one of the few William Castle horror films that doesn't have a gimmick. Seems now a days it is most remembered cause it is the last movie Barbara Stanwick made.

Barbara is married to a horrible man. Who is also blind. They live in this huge home. That is filled with cuckoo clocks. And he spends most of his time in his lab doing various experiments.

Then there is an explosion and the husband dies. So Barbara moves into the backroom apartment of the beauty shop she owns. And that is when the dreams start.

The film is constantly have dream sequences but you aren't suppose to know they are dreams until it is revealed. But sadly it is pretty easy to tell when it is a dream.

Really there isn't much to the film. It is slow and dull. With almost no scares. Kinda glad I caught this on Svengoolie. Cause his jokes before and after the commercials are way better than the film is.

The Night Walker gets a D-.

10 Super Spooky random Horror DVDs part 6

31 Days Of Horror Day 26 Frontier(S)

Title-Frontier(S)
Source-Lionsgate Unrated DVD

Back in 2006 the After Dark Horrorfest started. Which was 8 new horror films. They would each play one night at a theater.And it looked like every year around Halloween we would get 8 new horror films in a theater. But the After Dark Horrorfest was badly done. Very few theaters bothered showing the movies. AFAIK you could say pay 50 bucks and get a ticket that let you into every film in the fest. Nope you had to buy a ticket each night. So most people seemed to have seen these "8 Films to Die For" on home video.  Frontier(S) was part of the second batch off After Dark Horrorfest films. And cause of it getting a NC-17 from the MPAA it didn't play many theaters.

After an really right wing candidate is elected as the president of France a group of Arab young adults decide to use the riots in Paris as cover while they try to escape. But they need money. So during the riots they pull off a robbery. During the robbery one of the guys is shot. 2 members of the group take him to a hospital,while the other two members take the money and head out of town. At the hospital the guy who got shot tells the other two to run. They contact their friends that have already left and are told to come to an inn way out in the countryside.

Not long after the call the two that are at the inn get brutalized by the owners of the inn. Seems the inn is ran by some secret Nazis. And they use the inn and it's isolated location as a way to kill people they find inferior. The two make it from the hospital to the inn and then all hell breaks loose.

Frontier(S) feels a bit like the French version of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Isolated location. A group of young adults being stuck out in the middle of nowhere.Hell we even get a dinner scene that is very similar to the one in  TCM. And way way way more on screen blood and gore than the original TCM had.

The FX work is fucking great. There is a few scenes that turned my stomach,which doesn't happen often. Out of all the "new wave" of French extreme horror coming out in the mid 2000s this is the best I have seen. I am betting close to 10 minutes would have to be cut out to get this an R rating. The acting is pretty good. The entire film is in French and the DVD I have only has French audio. So you gotta read the English subtitles.

Frontier(S) gets a B+.

31 Days Of Horror Day 25 Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Freddy's Revenge

Title-Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Freddy's Revenge
Source-Svengoolie airing

Yep back before he got onto MeTV,Svengoolie would sometimes air fairly modern films. Thankfully various fans recorded some of these episodes. And I managed to get a DVD-R copy of Sven's airing of Nightmare on Elm Street 2.

After the original Elm Street film was a huge hit a sequel was quickly put into production. Hitting theaters a bit less than a year after the original came out,Elm Street 2 was a big hit. Sure most of the people that saw it didn't care for it. But it took a few weeks for word of mouth to get around.

Mark Patton plays Jesse. The new kid in town. His family has just moved to Springfield and they are living in Nancy's old home. Fairly quickly Jesse starts having nightmares about Freddy. But besides these nightmares Jesse isn't doing to bad. Sure he is the new kid but he has already made a new friend.

Lisa,played by Kim Myers,is Jesse's new friend. He has a crush on her but is too shy to say anything. To me Kim has always looked like a young red headed version of Meryl Streep.

Jesse ends up getting into a fight during gym class. To punish both guys the coach makes them stay after school and Jesse and Grady become friends.

Lisa comes over after school to hang out with Jesse. And they find Nancy's old diary. In which they see she had been having similar nightmares to Jesse.Then odd stuff starts happening around the house. Like when the family bird just burst into flames.

The Dad,played Clu Gulager,blames all this on Jesse. Jesse's nightmares get worse.And he starts to wander around town late at night. One night he wanders into a bar. Discovers it is a gay leather bar and sees the school coach there. To punish Jesse for being in the bar the coach takes Jesse back to the school and makes him run laps. Jesse ends up disappearing in the steam in the shower room. And is replaced by Freddy. Who kills the coach. Jesse appears again and is shocked to see he is wearing Freddy's fright glove.

The next night Jesse goes to Lisa's pool party. They end up off in one of the pool houses and start making out.

Then out of nowhere Jesse's tongue is replaced by Freddy's. So Jesse runs off to Grady's home. Sneaks into his bedroom and wakes Grady up. Grady offers Jesse some great advice.

Jesse talks Grady into watching over him as he sleeps. But Grady falls asleep and Freddy takes over Jesse's body.Freddy kills Grady.Freddy morphs back into Jesse. Jesse freaks out and runs off to Lisa's home. Freddy takes over Jesse's body again and we get a massacre at the pool party.

Lisa realizes it is Jesse's terror that is giving Freddy his power. After Lisa tells Jesse she loves him and then kisses him Freddy burst into flames and seems to die. But of course this being an Elm Street film we have to get a shitty ending that lets us know Freddy isn't dead. That is one of the my main complaints about the Elm Street series. They usually have really shitty endings.

I clearly remember that when this came out most people hated it. With the major complaint being how in this film Freddy can come into the real world fairly easy. Which is very different than it was in the first film.

In the 30+years since this movie came out there has been much talk about the not so subtle homosexual theme to the film. You got the gay leather bar. The very odd dance Jesse does in his room. And hell Jesse's friend Grady points out that Lisa wants Jesse to bang  her and Jesse runs off to go sleep in Grady's bedroom. The director of the film swears that all of this is just people reading way too much into the movie.  But there is too much in the movie to leads to this conclusion to say it wasn't done on purpose.

Sven's segments are decent. They don't have the polish of his segments now that he is on a national channel. But they are fairly entertaining. And help make up for the film being edited for TV. I was a bit surprised at how little got edited out. I know there was either no or very little nudity in the movie. And the violence and gore were not at extreme levels. Really most of what got edited out for the Svengoolie airing is the foul language.

Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Freddy's Revenge gets a C.

10 Super Spooky random Horror DVDs part 3

31 Days Of Horror Day 24 Dead Men Walk

Title-Dead Men Walk
Source-Count Gore Devol's airing on Vimeo

Back right before Valentine's Day 1943 PRC,Producers Releasing Corporation,released Dead Men Walk. George Zucco plays a set of twins,Dr Lloyd Clayton and Elwyn. The Dr kills off his twin cause of the twin involvement in occult ceremonies.

But the Dr waited to long to do this. Cause his twin comes back from the dead. Elwyn comes back as some kind  of supernatural creature that murders the villagers by draining their blood. Yea I know it sounds like Elwyn is a vampire. But in the movie he is never referred to as a vampire. And seems to show none of the normal vampire weaknesses.

Dr Lloyd and his niece,Gayle,find out that Elwyn is back. And Lloyd realizes the only way for them to be safe is to kill his brother. Lloyd traps Elwyn in the library and sets it on fire. But the Dr is trapped in there. So they both die.

The cast is pretty decent.

George Zucco plays the two brothers.I now want to see more movies with him. He has this odd charisma on screen. That while he isn't a great actor,you still can't take your eyes off him.

Dwight Frye plays Zolarr. Who is Elwyn's servent. As is normal with Frye he chews up the scenery and pretty much steals every scene he is in.

Since Dead Men Walk is in the public domain it shows up on lots of DVD horror movie packs. But I watched it this time on Count Gore Devol's Vimeo channel. The Count's segments are really entertaining. I was surprised he didn't get into more of the history of this movie.

Dead Men Walk gets a C+.

10 Super Spooky random Horror DVDs part 3

31 Days of Horror Day 23 Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter

Title-Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter
Source-Paramount DVD

Some of y'all might have noticed I rarely mention Hammer films. Mostly cause there is so few of the classic Hammer films I enjoy. As a kid I would read about the Hammer horror films in various books and magazines,but I never saw them on TV or for rent at the video store. It wasn't until early 90s that I started seeing most of the Hammer horror films. And it didn't take long for me to figure out I am just not a big fan of Hammer's horror movies.

I had been hearing for years how Captain Kronos was the best of the Non-Lee/Cushing vampire films. So in 2004 when I found this DVD for $5 I grabbed it. Figuring I would watch it at least twice.Two times cause it has a commentary. After the first viewing I enjoyed it enough to keep it. Then after listening to the commentary I knew I was going to keep the DVD.

A village has been hit by a rash of strange deaths. People keep aging faster than normal. So Dr Marcus calls in his Army friend Captain Kronos. Kronos and his assistant Grost show up. They are professional vampire hunters. After reviewing the evidence Captain Kronos figures out it is a vampire causing the deaths. But not your normal type of vampire,this one drains youth instead of blood.

After another attack,the Captain and his hunchback sidekick head off to investigate. On their way they run into Carla,a young Gypsy woman. Carla is played by Caroline Munro. And she joins our duo in their fight against this youth draining vampire.

Our heroes learn that since this isn't your normal type of vampire the normal methods of killing a vampire will not work. So they have to figure out a way to kill this powerful creature.

From my research this movie was suppose to be the start of a new vampire franchise from  Hammer. And it is  one I wish had happened. Sadly the film didn't do that well and not long after it Hammer was having money problems.

Thankfully in 2017 Titan comics published a 4 issue Captain Kronos comic. I read the first issue and it is pretty good. Now I just gotta find a trade collecting the series.

Captain Kronos Vampire Hunter gets a C+.

10 Super Spooky random Horror DVDs part 2

31 Days of Horror Day 22 Die-ner(Get It?)

Title-Die ner (Get It?)
Source-Echo Bridge 10 movie DVD set

Remember just 3 years ago? Back when the $5 DVD bin at Walmart was packed with Echo Bridge and Mill Creek Horror multipacks. Lots of these packs I would buy to see one movie. Or I would buy one when I knew I was going on a long trip and would need a few things to watch.

The pack Die Ner is on I bought cause of one film. That film is Zipperface. A fairly obscure slasher from 1991. After watching and loving Zipperface the pack got put back on my shelf. Today I needed something to watch. So I grabbed a bunch of those multipacks and picked a film at random.

Die Ner starts off with Ken entering a roadside diner out in the middle of nowhere. Ken makes small talk with the waitress,in this small talk he reveals he is a serial killer. He then kills the waitress and the cook. He is about to leave when a arguing couple comes in. So Ken poses as the cook. Thinking he can cook their food. And either kill them or wait till they leave and leave himself.

But there is a twist,anyone that dies comes back as a zombie. So we got a serial killer along with an arguing couple who have to face off against zombies in a tiny rural diner.

The film tries it's best to blend horror and comedy. And manages to work about half the time. The acting is decent. It being a DTV horror I don't expect much from the actors and I got more than I expected. The FX work is pretty decent. Looks like it is mostly practical FX work.

What I find odd is outside North America this movie goes under a different title.

Yep at least in the UK Die Ner(Get It?) is known as KFZ Kentucky Fried Zombies. No idea why. Hell I don't even think the movie is set in Kentucky. The area the diner is in looks like desert country and I don't think there is any deserts in Kentucky.

Die Ner(Get It?) gets a D+.

Super spooky 10 random horror DVDs Day 01

31 Days of Horror Day 21 Amityville Horror New Generation

Title-Amityville Horror A New Generation
Source-DVD-R

About 5 years ago I decided I wanted to see every Amityville Horror film. At the time I had seen the first 2,6,8 and the remake. I looked around online and some of the middle films in the franchise were going for way more than I wanted to pay for a DVD of a film I haven't seen. Thankfully I found a torrent that had the first 8 of the films. I burnt all the ones I didn't already own to DVD.

Amityville Horror A New Generation is the 7th film in the official Amityville Horror franchise. Going direct to video in the early fall of 1993. A pro photographer is given a creepy looking mirror from a homeless man. He brings it back to the apartment complex he lives in and weird stuff starts to happen. After a bunch of stuff our lead learns the  mirror is possessed. By the spirit of a man who killed his family on Thanksgiving Day in the Amityville house.

The FX work isn't bad. For a early 90s DTV film it is pretty decent. There is a few decent scares. With one that actually made me jump. What really saves this movie is the cast. None of the cast are household names,but 4 of them are people that most of the general public knows.

We have Julia Nickson as  Suki the love interest of our lead. She is an artist. While watching the movie I knew she looked very familiar. Then I looked her up. She is best known for playing Co-Bao in Rambo First Blood Part II. I have always thought she was a good actress. But it seems like she rarely gets a good role.

Terry O'Quinn is Detective Clark. A cop who is investigating the weird happenings at the apartment complex. O'Quinn is best known as Locke from Lost. But horror fans will remember him from the Stepfather film. He is an actor that is always good. Even in the shittest films he is worth seeing.

Pauli is played by Richard Roundtree. Sadly he isn't given much to work with in this. It would have been great to see Shaft get a bigger and better role. But he does the best with what he is given to work with.

Finally we got David Naughton as Dick Cutler. Naughton is an actor that sadly either gives it his all or sadly seems to just be there for the check. Amityville Horror A New Generation is one of the latter. The  film would have been better with Naughton in the lead. But we get some no name as the lead.

Now that I have seen all the official Amityville Horror films I can say that New Generation AKA part 7 is in the top 5 of the Amityville series. It isn't as good as parts 1 and 2. But better than most of the others.

It looks like the DVD of this is out of print. So good luck tracking down a copy. I have seen that on Daily Motion and Vimeo someone has uploaded the unrated version. Yep this is one of those 90s horror films that has a R rated and Unrated version. My copy is the Unrated version. And I don't seem much in it that would go past a R rating. But from my research lots of 90s horror films ,especially DTV movies,will keep a few scenes out of the R rated cut. Thinking that when people see a film is released unrated they will be more inclined to rent it.

Amityville Horror A New Generation gets a B-.

31 Days of Horror Day 20 I Know What You Did Last Summer

Title-I Know What You Did Last Summer
Source-Sony Pictures Triple Feature DVD

Roughly 21 years ago the first film in the I Know What You Did Last Summer was released. Not sure why but I never saw it. At the time I was seeing most horror films that got a major theatrical release.  But somehow I didn't see it until today.Sometime in late 2017 I found a triple feature DVD set at Dollar General. It was all 3 IKWYDLS movies and only cost 7 bucks. My plan at the time was to cover all 3 films in 2017's 31 Days of Horror. Then I just never got around to watching them,

After having breakfast today I wanted a horror movie I had never seen to watch. I like slashers and saw this triple feature pack sitting on my shelf. When I started the movie I only knew a few things about it. One was that it is based on a novel from the 70s.Secondly it was based on a script by Kevin Williamson. Back when he was still hot off Scream. Thirdly was the cast was a decent mixture of young stars that were just starting to get known. And finally that the killer used a giant hook to kill people.

Let's take a look at the cast. We got Jennifer Love Hewitt as the lead.

This was back when she was mega popular cause of Party of Five.Before this I had only seen her in comedies and she is good at comedy. But this movie showed me she can do drama also. And seems to have all the skills she needed to become a modern Scream Queen. Sadly as of this writing she has only done the two IKWYDLS films and no other horror films.

 Freddie Prinze Jr is the male lead. I have never found him to be a great actor. But he is much better in this film than he has been in the other films I have seen him in.

 Sarah Michelle Geller,and this was months before Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show started,is decent as the prom queen archtype.Now I have said many times that on the show Buffy I loved pretty much everybody but Sarah Michelle Gellar. I was shocked that she was damn good in I Know What You Did Last Summer. She is great playing the self absorbed rich girl.

Ryan Phillippe is great as the rich asshole kid. You know the type. The kid that got a sports car the day he turned 15. The kid that was a dick but cause he had money people were friends with him.

That is our main four, but there are two others that stand out to me.

Up first is Johnny Galecki.Before this I just knew Johnny as the guy that always plays nerds and wimps. He was David on Roseanne,the nerd of Big Bang Theory and the son in Xmas Vacation. I was a bit shocked at how well he is at playing against type in this movie. You believe that he is a tough guy. And don't think of the wimps he normally plays.

Bridgette Wilson plays the older sister of Sarah Michelle Gellar. I do wonder why a actress with the talent Ms Wilson has why she doesn't do more movies. Hell I bet if you asked 10 people maybe 2 of them tops would even know who Bridgette Wilson is.

The  plot is fairly simple. Our 4 leads are out partying on 4th of July 1996. Freddie ends up driving Ryan's car. Because Ryan is shitfaced. They are going down a twisting road right by the ocean. Ryan is standing up halfway out the sunroof. And they end up hitting someone who appears out of nowhere. They decide to toss the body into the ocean.But right before they do this they find out the person is still alive.


Skip ahead a year. Jennifer Love Hewitt is home from college for the summer. And she receives a note that says I Know What You Did Last Summer. So she gathers the other 3 and they try to figure out who sent the note and why.

So while the movie is a slasher it is also a mystery. After going  thru a few red herrings we finally get the reveal on who the killer is.  Now I have seen piles of horror movies and read bunches of horror novels. And I didn't manage to guess who the killer is. And of course the final scene sets up the sequel.

I am shocked at how much I enjoyed the movie. I figured going into it I was gonna get a Scream ripoff. And the best part of the film would be seeing JLH in tight tops,and seeing her in tight tops is a nice added bonus of the movie. So I was majorly surprised at how well written and acted the movie is. It is almost as good as the original Scream.

The DVD has a few extras. The best of which is a commentary. Which is packed with info. This triple feature set has each film on  it's own DVD. I am guessing this is just a repacking of unsold copies of original releases.  I might before the month is over watch at least the second film. From what I have read the third film is barely related to the first 2 and was made years after them and went DTV.

I Know What You Did Last Summer gets a B+.

31 Days of Horror Day 19 Decoys

Title-Decoys
Source-Sony Double Feature DVD

Back in 2008 or 2009 I was trying to find something to watch. Saw that SciFi Channel was airing something called Decoys. It looked like a Invasion of the Body Snatchers style sci fi horror hybrid so I turned it on.

After a few minutes I realized that the movie was gonna be heavily cut on Sci Fi. Cause I kept seeing lots of jarring cuts happening. Then the gorgeous Kim Poirier came on the screen.

I knew I had seen her in something before this but had no clue. Once the movie was over I went and looked up Ms Poirier up on IMDB. Turns out she played the semi slutty blonde in the Dawn of the Dead remake. And Decoys was her second movie,with American Psycho II being her first and Dawn of the Dead remake being her third.

After finishing the movie I saw that the sequel was airing next.But I now wanted to see both of them uncut. Checked Netflix and they didn't have either film for disc rental. The one video store we had left in town didn't have them for rent. And when I would search for them on Dish Network they only seemed to air on channels that would edit them. So I gave up on seeing the movie uncut.

Skip ahead to this past summer. A friend had realized she never watched any of the hundred or so DVDs she owned. She told me to come over and see if she had anything I wanted. I started digging and saw the DVD that had both Decoys films. And after almost a decade I finally got to see Decoys uncut.

The film's plot is pretty simple. A bunch of dopey guys learn that there is an alien invasion. These aliens look human but got piles of tentacles on the inside. Plus they seem to get sexually aroused by cold. And besides the language the only part cut out of the Sci Fi Channel airings was a short scene,that gets repeated a few times through out the film,were Kim Poirier and the other lady get naked. While it was nice to see Ms Poirier naked it didn't make the movie any better. We get a plot that has been done 100s of times before this. The acting is OK at best. Looking at the cast looks like most of them are Canadian TV actors. The FX work,which is mostly CGI,is ok. It is at the level you expect from a DTV early 2000s film.

Decoys gets a D+.

31 Days of Horror Day 18 Satan's Storybook

Title-Satan's Storybook
Source-TubiTV app

While I love modern tech in someways I hate it. Like how I waited until 2004 to finally get a cellphone. And even now 14 years later I still got a fliphone.. Not a smartphone. Hell for years I didn't want a tablet computer. I had a desktop and a laptop and was happy. Then I got a good tablet for cheap and discovered how useful it can be. Kinda nice to have a device that fits in my pocket that is loaded up with piles of books,comics,movies,cartoons and TV shows. Plus cause of it I have discovered all kinds of free streaming services.

Sure every one knows about Netflix and Hulu. But how many of y'all know of TubiTV? It is a free streaming service. Were you get uncut movies and TV shows. The only drawback is about every 30 minutes you will get 2 or 3 thirty second long ads. So not a bad trade off. TubiTV has piles of stuff. And on evenings when it isn't hot I will go sit on  my back porch and find  something to watch on TubiTV.

It was months back I had the house to myself and didn't feel like sitting inside watching whatever crap airs on TV. So I filled up a big glass of iced tea,grabbed my tablet and my dog and I went to sit on the back porch. I was scrolling thru the recently added movies section on TubiTV when I saw Satan's Storybook. I did a double take cause I was sure I had seen the cover before and was sure the blonde on it was a 80s era Ginger Lynn aka Ginger Lynn Allen. I knew the cover and film title sounded familiar but didn't know why. I started up the film and saw that it is a very low budget DTV horror from 1989.

It was about halfway thru the film,during one of the ad breaks,that I realized why I knew the cover. For at least a year maybe more,in Fangoria there would be a quarter page ad advertising this movie. The ad played up the fact that it had the first non-porno role for Ginger Lynn Allen. Who IIRC was dating Charlie Sheen at the time. And the company selling the VHS wanted 29.95 plus shipping for it. Now for years I had seen the ad and wanted to see the movie. But figured I would never get a chance.

I looked online and the movie has so far only gotten a VHS release. Kinda surprised Code Red,Slasher Video or Massacre Video or hell Bleeding Skull hasn't released this on DVD or Blu Ray yet. VHS copies go for stupid prices. I am guessing not that many people bought a copy back in the day.And I never saw it for rent in any video store.

The story is fairly simple. Ginger plays some kind of Angelic ninja. The first scene is Ms Allen dressed up as a white ninja fighting off a bunch of black ninjas. While trying to save a gothic looking lady. We find out the goth lady is Satan's bride. And Ginger is there to stop the wedding so she can prevent the birth of the AntiChrist.

After this we switch to Satan in a throne. He is mad that his woman has been kidnapped. So to cheer him up Hell's jester shows up to tell Satan a few stories. Yep this is a horror anthology.

That is Satan. A guy in a goat mask with furry pants. Whoever made the movie must have gotten some fog machines cheap. Cause everytime we see Satan there is piles of fog.

The first story is "Demon of Death". About a 80s era serial killer. He dresses like your typical late 80s metalhead. And picks names at random out of the phone book. Then goes and kills the person he picked.Then at random he picks a girl who has ESP and her mother is a witch. Our killer gets gunned down but doesn't die. So is put on death row. And we get a trite as fuck twist ending.

The second story is about a drunk ass clown. Who kills himself. After what feels like an hour of boring dialogue we find out the clown is in hell. Yeah this story sucks.

Ginger is wandering around the woods with Satan's bride with her. They get surrounded by a bunch of people in whatever slightly Satanic looking stuff Party City had marked at 70% off the day after Halloween. During this battle Ginger just disappears. And we find out that Satan's bride now doesn't want to have a kid. Cut back to Ginger bathed in red light and surrounded by fog. And she implies that we will get a sequel.

It was more than likely 89 or 90 when I first saw the ad for this movie in Fangoria. And so it has been right at 30 years that I have been wanting to see it. So while it was kick ass I finally got to see a film I had never seen and thought I would never get to see,plus I saw it for free. The movie sucks ass. The only good parts are well Ginger looks great,the goat mask Satan wears is well done and the one evil clown in the second story is actually  a bit scary. Besides that the movie was a waste of 90 or so minutes.

Now if you want to see this pile of shit,and why would you,well I haven't checked to see if it is still on TubiTV. TubiTV has a habit of cycling out stuff at random. You can find the full movie on Youtube.  That way you can watch this minor piece of DTV horror history for free.

Satan's Storybook gets a F.

Going to Pieces DVD Showcase

Free Horror Movies on Vudu

Godzilla VHS&DVD collection

31 Days of Horror Day 16 Killer's Delight

Title-Killer's Delight

Source-Code Red DVD

Before finding this DVD I had never even heard of the movie. Made in 1978 this is one of the many proto-slashers that came out before Friday the 13th took the subgenre and exploded it into mainstream.

As I mentioned in my review of Blood Feast II,this was the other DVD I found while waiting in line. I saw the cover. Saw it was from Code Red and took a chance on it. It was cheap and I know that most Code Red stuff that goes out of print jumps up in price pretty quick. So figured I would get home check it's value sealed. Then if it wasn't worth a bunch open it up and give it a watch. Well turns out this is one of the early releases from Code Red and I guess there is enough supply to satisfy the demand for the DVD. Cause used copies are selling for about what I paid for it new. And sealed copies are at the most 10 bucks. Yep that means I am gonna open and watch it.

Set in San Francisco in the late 70s this movie was inspired by the unsolved Zodiac Killer murders and the then unsolved Ted Bundy murders.  Seems like this movie didn't do much in theaters. Then was forgot about until it got retitled The Dark Ride during it's VHS release. Then got retitled again as The Sports Killer when it got released in syndication for TV airings.

Now Killer's Delight is less like the serial killer movies we have gotten in the last 30 years and is more like a 70s cop drama. The focus is on the two cops trying to solve the murders. And the killer is kept a bit mysterious for a good chunk of the film.

The cast is almost all people I don't know. Outside of 2. First up is Martin Speer.

 Now while most horror fans won't know his name,they will remember him as Dee Wallace's husband in the original Hills have Eyes. And in this movie he is good. The other known actor/actress is Susan Sullivan.

 I know she has been around for decades. I best know her as Kitty on Dharma and Greg. 

The DVD has a decent amount of extras. We get some trailers. But the best extra is the commentary. With the director and a moderator. It is pretty informative and entertaining. 

I wish Code Red had used a different cover. There is plenty of nice movie posters for this movie. Ones that don't make the movie look like a super sleazy piece of 70s exploitation. Which this film really isn't. Hell there isn't much in this movie that would have to be cut for it to air on TV today. And really it feels a lot like a 70s TV show version of an episode of Law and Order SVU than a late 70s slashers.

While I am glad I found and got to see this movie,mostly cause I love finding slashers or proto-slashers I have never seen,it isn't one I see myself watching often. Since I bought it I have watched it 4 times. 3 of the 4 times I watched it with the commentary. 

Killer's Delight gets a C.

31 Days of Horror Day 15 Zany Zombies Double Feature DVD

Title-King of the Zombies and Revolt of the Zombies
Source-Pop Flix DVD

Over a decade ago Dollar Tree got flooded with piles of public domain double feature horror DVDs. All of them from Pop Flix. And all of them had great cover images. The same image that is on the topside of the DVD.Each of these DVDs had a theme. With this one of course being zombie themed.

We get 2 films. Both of which are in the public domain and both of which are from the late 30s/early 40s. Now before watching this DVD I had heard of King of the Zombies. But had never seen it. Also I had never even heard of Revolt of the Zombies.

From 1936 Revolt is a almost sequel to White Zombie. With this movie being pre-68 these zombies are the voodoo dead mindless type. Not the brain and flesh eating type. Straight up this movie fucking sucks. It is 65 minutes and took me 4 times watching it to finish it. Even though it is barely over an hour it feels 4 times longer. The acting is kinda middle of the road. The FX work is crap. And if it wasn't in the public domain I bet this would be a forgotten film.

The only neat thing about the movie is Bela Lugosi's eyes from White Zombie are used for every zombifying effect in this movie. From what I can find online this started off as an official sequel to White Zombie. Then lawsuits stopped that. So a tiny bit of the script was changed and we got this turd of a film.

Then we get our other feature,King of the Zombies. 2 guys and Mantan Moreland are flying a tiny airplane when they hear an odd radio signal. Running low on fuel they crash on an island between Cuba and Puerto Rico.

They get rescued and are told there is no radio on the island. But ships pass by often so they should be recused fairly soon. But Mantan knows something is up. And thanks to a helpful maid Mantan finds out the island is full of zombies.

Seems Dr Sangre is a secret agent and trying to get some vital info out of US military officer,who's plane crashed on the island before our trio's did. And he has a plan to use his army of zombies to take over the world.

The movie is 67 minutes and flies by. The cast is decent,with Mantan Moreland being the standout. The FX work is decent. And the film is a nice mixture of horror,comedy and spy drama.

Speaking of Mantan,he steals the movie. Before this I knew his name. But all I knew was he was an actor back in the 30s and 40s and he was stuck playing parts below his skills cause of how at the time non-white actors were treated in Hollywood. He is great in this. Being  able to convey all kinds of emotions with out talking. Just with a facial expressions he shows his fear. In a way Mantan reminds me a bit of Buster Keaton. Another comedic actor that was able to make me laugh without saying a word.

King of the Zombies is worth seeing. With it being Public Domain there is piles of VHS/DVD releases. Plus you can find it on Youtube or even the Internet Archive. Hell it is worth tracking down this DVD release cause of King of the Zombies plus the great art on the cover and the DVD.

Revolt of the Zombies was just flat out bad and boring. And not just cause of it being a film made 4 decades before I was born. But then King of the Zombies is a damn fun film. It flies by. Makes ya laugh and is one you could show to kids. King of the Zombies is so good it almost makes up for how bad Revolt of the Zombies is.

Zany Zombies gets a C.