Zombiethon

Zombiethon
1986
VHS rip on a DVD-r
Wizard Video


This is a compilation of zombie scenes from a shitpile of films. I saw it years ago when I rented it. Had forgotten about it till someone sent me a VHS rip on a DVD-r. 

We start off with a young female looking at some trees and just generally enjoying the peaceful surroundings. Then a zombie shows up. With blue skin. And she seems to be talking to her self, or maybe it is a voice over not too sure. She starts running. I bet she falls or trips soon. Trying to figure out how she can be running and the zombie is slowly walking but keeping up with her. She sees the zombie and ends up running into a movie theater. Sits down in the audience. Which seems to be made up of all kinds of creatures.

We cut to someone aiming a pistol at a body that is rising up . This clip is from Fulci's Zombie.I hope we get the splinter to the eye and zombie vs shark scenes. I have always loved the score in Zombie. It helps add to the creepy atmosphere of the film.And we get our first pair of boobs. The lady is wearing an almost see through white bikini bottom. And to be honest she needs to shave. She looks like someone glued a toupee to her crotch.  She goes scuba diving and gets attacked by a zombie. Always loved this scene.  OH SHIT HERE COMES THE SHARK!! Surprised no film has ripped off this great scene. Maybe one day we can get Zombies vs Sharknado as a Syfy original film.We cut to a woman in the shower and get more boobs. Band knew what people wanted out of this compilation. Gore and boobs. The lady finishes her shower and hears noises outside. So she locks her door. But that isn't gonna stop the zombie.The zombie breaks in and grabs her by the hair on her head. And slowly shoves her eye into a splinter. Even now this scene is very impressive. We cut to a jungle and see a rotting corpse arising from the grave. Pretty sure this is the image that was on the first VHS cover of Zombie I owned years ago. I love the maggots hanging out of the eye socket. Maggot eye zombie rips some ladies throat out. A guy with a beard shows up and starts shooting the zombie with a gun. But hits it in the body. Doesn't he know to go for the head? Now it is nighttime and we get more shots of lots of zombies walking around,while some sweaty guy talks about voodoo. Ok sweaty guy just got his cheek bitten off by a zombie.FUCK just saw a great head shot. Seems like at least some of the actors are speaking English. Cause the lips match the words pretty well. Now we get what I remember as the end fight from Zombie. I love some practical FX work. If this was made now it would be filled with crappy CGI. Fuck CGI.

Now we got some blonde walking into the water. No idea what film this is from.Some zombie carrying a morning star is following her out of a cave. Lots of shots of her ass as she is laying on the beach. OK the zombie looks like it is half robot. Now the girl is running into the same theater as the lady from the beginning.

Time for some clips from Zombie Lake. And we get our third set of boobs. And a bare ass to got with it. The footage looks smeary and semi out of focus. The naked lady goes swimming in what looks to be a big pond. Lots of underwater footage of her playing around in the water.Oh wow I think I just saw a close up shot of a vagina. We see a zombie under the water and he is heading towards the naked lady. Now the zombie attacks the lady and drags her under the water. Quick cut to what I think is WWII era stuff. What looks to be some German soldiers are shot and thrown into the lake. Another cut and we got two women skinny dipping in the lake. More underwater footage of the nude women. And now 2 Nazi zombies are coming after them. It seems the two women are there with a group of 5 other women. Who proceed to strip. So 5 more sets of boobs. I can see why this tape was always rented out from my local video store years ago. All 5 ladies jump into the lake. Maybe someone should put a sign that says "Warning this lake contains Nazi Zombies. Swim at your own risk!" One of the ladies heads back to their van and starts to get dressed. While the Nazi zombies attack her friends. She runs off without her top to a local bar to get help. But ends up passing out on top a table. We then get the zombies walking around town and they attack another topless woman. Cut to a lady wearing a bikini bottom bathing in a huge wooden tub. And then a zombie stumbling through a corn field. I wonder why she is wearing bikini bottoms while bathing? Maybe she didn't want to show her pubic region. The zombie attacks her. So far there hasn't been much gore in this film. But lots of nudity.Cut to a group of 5 Nazi Zombies rising out of the lake. And then lots of quick cuts to zombies attacking various people in the town. And we finally get some gore when one zombie bites a lady on the neck.Then we see someone using a flamethrower on some of the zombies. It seems fire can kill off these zombies.

Now we got some lady talking over footage of a beach at sunrise. The lady is walking around some mansion's garden in a white flowing dress. Then heads towards a beach. We see some woman in lingerie putting needles into a voodoo doll. This looks like the same area as the two other ladies that ended up in the theater. Oh shit looks like a zombie is buried under the sand of the beach. And he springs up like Nosferatu did. The lady in white doesn't seem to see him. She strips down to just her underwear. Somehow now the zombie has her and is carrying her off the beach. And we get more boobs. Even with the zombie carrying her she doesn't seem scared. And the scene ends with the zombie carrying her into the theater.

We start the next segment with two women in tank tops and cut offs walking through the woods. I am thinking this is from Oasis of the Zombies. The blonde runs off and some zombie hands reach up from the ground and grab her legs. Yep this is from Oasis of the Zombies. We cut to what looks to be the WWII era. How many underwater Nazi zombie films are there? And why isn't there a Vietnam War based zombie movie? We get some zombies attacking someone camping near the oasis. Too bad it wasn't zombies attacking the horrible band Oasis. Did I just see a zombie eating a woman's vagina? Cut to two people in a tent and we get another boob shot.More footage of zombies attacking people near the oasis. With some of the zombie makeup looking great and some of it looking horrible. The couple from the tent come out and see zombies heading their way over the dunes. And the man tells her "FIRE WE NEED FIRE IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT STOPS THEM!" Even edited down to the best parts this film still sucks.

Now we cut to a zombie walking around what looks to be some kind of power plant. There is a woman with a small child walking around. The wander off down an alley. The zombie is heading towards them. So the lady keeps trying to open a door that is obviously locked. Before anything can happen we cut away. BOOOO.

We get what appears to be a young lady walking around a dark apartment. She opens her curtains and some guy in leather starts to attack her. Hey another boob shot. Seems these clips are from a film titled "Fear" .  Ah it was a movie scene being filmed. Cut to someone wearing black gloves attacking a lady in a white nightgown.  While running her boob falls out so another boob shot. She is running away and sees the outside. But can't get out there cause of this giant spiderweb. Now it looks like she is being attacked by leaves or bats, it is hard to tell what they are. Maybe they are bats disguised as leaves. No wait they were leaves, cause now she is getting attacked by bats. There is a cut and now she is out in the woods with both boobs exposed. Band sure loved his boob shots. She sees what appears to be a tree covered with bleeding skulls. and then passed out. Now she is tied up and someone rips her night gown open for another boob shot. Lots of quick edits. And now I think the same girl is running through the woods wearing a blood splattered blouse.

We cut to the theater and the scene was just saw is playing on the screen. The audience is full of zombies and other assorted creatures. Even the projectionist is a zombie. This is one tiny theater. The projectionist tries to splice the film and cuts off his own finger. But he gets the film started again.

Now time for clips from "The Invisible Dead". A lady and a man with a great stache are talking about someone that was buried with lots of jewels. She starts taking off her top and tells him to turn around. And another boob shot. I think this lady stole the toupee for her crotch from the lady in Zombie. The woman talks the guy into digging up the woman that was buried with all the jewels. And she strips out of her night clothes for another boob shot. The two of them head to a tomb and pry open a casket.And then steal all the jewels the lady was buried with. They cut a ring of the dead woman's finger and she bolts up and says "YOU ARE HURTING ME!" So they run away. We cut and now some guy is whipping the woman that has been topless a few times, and big surprise she is topless again. The a cut to some redhead that is topless in what looks to be a hayloft. Now we are getting bloody footprints appearing on the floor. I assume they are from the invisible dead. The invisible dead strip some blonde lady naked and the crotch toupee appears again. A dapper looking man gets smart and throws a bag of flour near where he thinks the invisible creature is. So we finally get to somewhat see it. Looks like a monkey and a zombie mated. Dapper guy hits the creature in the head with a fireplace poker.

And we cut back to the theater full of zombies. The woman with the small child enters and sits down to watch the movie. They seem obvious to all the creatures around them.

The next film is "A Virgin among the Living Dead". We get a zombie rising out of a leaf covered ground. No wait it is more than one zombie. Three of them surround a very cute brunette and she runs off screaming. The brunette runs off to what appears to be an old abandoned house. But the zombies get into the house and surround her. There is some shots of a woman walking around with a torch. She enters the house and watches the zombies toy with the brunette. This has a very dream like quality to it.

And we again cut back to the theater. A zombie removes his leg and starts to drink the blood out of it.

And whammo we quickly cut to the next film. A redhead in a convertible drives into a garage. Someone in a cheap mask attacks her. And we get a title card letting us know this is "The Astro Zombies". A dead body on a gurney is being wheeled into a lab. I think the scientist is John Carradine. They hook some kind of machine up to the body. And turn him into an "Astroman", what ever that is. All I really know about this film is there is a good Misfits song titled "Astro Zombies". Cut to a nurse in some kind of hospital and she gets attacked by what I figure is an Astro Zombie. Then cut to Tura Satanna. She watches 2 guys beat up another guy. Tura had a one of a kind look. Too bad her movie career wasn't longer. She uses her lit cigarette to torture the guy. Then orders the other guys to kill him. But instead she takes out a gun and shoots him 3 times in the torso. Back at the lab the nurse from earlier is tied up to a lab table. We get another scene of an astro zombie attacking another young lady. But someone shows up to fight off the astro zombie. Now we see Tura in the lab talking to David. One of the astro zombies gets up off the table and starts attacking everyone.Tura shoots Carradine while he is trying to stop the astro zombie. But another Astro Zombie arises from the table and attacks her. She gets shoved into a fuse box and dies. Wow even clipped down that was horrible.

Back to the theater where the zombies are blowing party whistles and streaming are flying all around. Maybe they are celebrating cause Astro Zombies is over.  And we get credits.

I remember really enjoying this tape when I was younger. But revisiting it, well it fucking sucks. The Astro Zombies and Invisible Dead stuff was just bad. The other clips were OK. But since it is so much easier now to just get those films I see no need for this film. Unless for nostalgia reasons.

Well to copy Joe Bob Brigs I will give you the official boob count.

Boob Count-23 sets of boobs.

Not bad. I think Charles Band has recently released this on DVD. Unless you can find it cheap skip it. Zombiethon gets a D+. If they had chosen a few better films and maybe cut out all the theater full of zombies stuff it would have been much better.