Wednesday, December 8, 2021

Skywald's Nightmare Issue 7 reprint by Gwandanaland Comics

 

TITLE-Nightmare issue 7
SOURCE-Gwandanaland Comic TPB

Nightmare was one of the 3 b/w magazine sized horror comics that Skywald published in the early 70s. While the art and stories were not always at the level of the Warren mags,like Creepy and 1984/1994,Skywald was a good second place in the B/W Horror Comic vein. Thankfully Skywald forgot to put a proper copyright notice on their magazines. Which means they are all Public Domain. So Gwandanaland Comics,a publisher that specializes in PD comic collections,a few years ago started reprinting all the Skywald mags. What I have here is cause I didn't read the description closely. I had already ordered a few volumes of Scream,another Skywald Horror Mag,and wanted to get some issues of Nightmare. I didn't read the description on Amazon closely. So instead of ordering a TPB that reprints 4 or 5 issues of the magazine,what I got is a thin TPB that reprints issue 7 of Nightmare.

In this issue we get 8 stories and one article. The article is on Dracula in cinema. And mostly talks about Bela Lugosi and Christopher Lee.


The first story is The Penitent,wrote by Ed Fedoryi and the art credited to Ferran Sostres. Never heard of either creator. The story is told to us by a man with a long white beard. He is in prison and claims to be innocent. From what he tells and shows us it appears that this Prisoner lives in a world full of fantasy elements like dragons and Lizard-men. But like the Pre-Code horror comics these stories were inspired by we get a twist ending. Sadly it is a twist that sucks.


Group Jeopardy ,Script by S.F. Starr art by Amador,is up next.A group of people with various mental issues are at a place way out in the woods. And their doctor is trying to help them with their issues. But there is a mad killer on the loose who kills using a brutal bear hug. Thankfully the twist in this story is way better than the one in the first story.


Our third tale is The Giant Death Rat. At a wharf a group of rats are trying to get on a cargo ship that is headed to the new world,AKA North America. A few weeks after the ship is out in the ocean someone in the kitchen sees one of the rats. The captain gives an order to find the rat or everyone on board will die of the Plague. They don't find the rat,but not long afterwards one of the sailors comes down with a deathly illness. By the end of this 7 page story all but a few of the sailors are either dead or dying from the plague. The ship is set on fire to prevent the plague from spreading. And we go back to the wharf. The rats tell us how they are glad they didn't go on the ship since one of the humans aboard had the plague. Decent twist ending on this one and great art.


Batting clean up,aka Fourth,is GASP! A 3 pager that feels like a story rejected by every horror publisher so far. The twist at the end is just dumb. This one has art and script by Donald Brown. And yea the art isn't good and the story sucks.

After the 4th story is the 6 pager on Dracula in Cinema. Nothing in here any horror fan didn't already know. But I'm sure back when this came out and we didn't have as easy an access to info this article might have been pretty good.
5th story is The Alter of Blood. Which has the best art of story in this issue. That gorgeous art is by Pablo Marcos and Bob Kirschen is the writer. The story sadly isn't as good as the art. A demoness in Hell is trying to take over all of Hell. This 6 pager I am betting was aimed at the teenage boy audience that wasn't old enough to buy Playboy but could buy a horror comic.


A Father's Lament is our 6th story. Script by Ed Fedory and art chores are handled by Frank Cueto. A father and his son are off hunting in the woods. They find a body of a man. This man has a large ax in the middle of his chest. In the body's pocket they find a journal. Learning that the man was hunting a werewolf.  A werewolf that killed his family.  After what appears to be years of hunting this killer werewolf the man gets the upper hand and burys a silver ax in the chest of the lupine monster. This is where we learn the werewolf is the son. Our father and son team of hunters are shocked by this story they read. And the father let's his greed get the best of him. He removes the ax from the body's chest. Planning on selling the ax since it's head is silver. The son tells him to not do this since it is cursed. But the father ignores his son. And the story ends with the hunters talking about how hard it must have been on the father to kill his son,even if he is a killer werewolf,and off in the distance we see the werewolf alive again and about to attack the 2 hunters.


Lucky number 7 is Artifacts. A Sci Fi short story I have seen done many times before. A new World War happens. Most of mankind dies. The small band of survivors leave some sacred artifacts hidden in a cave. A few hundred years later some aliens that look like Vaughn Bode Lizards land on Earth. Go into the cave and find these artifacts. One of which is a metal disc. This is opened and inside they find a reel of 35mm film. The Bode Aliens rig up a projector and we see that this film reel is a Looney Tunes short!!  Script and art on this one are handled by Dennis Fujitake. Loved the art and the story was decent,even if I have read/saw variants of it for decades.

Our final story  is scripted by Al Hewetson with TORRENTS handling the art. I do wonder who TORRENTS is. This is a Sci Fi story heavily inspired by the mythos of HP Lovecraft.  And while it has some really nice looking art the story is crap. Like the Alter of Blood story this is one where you are better off looking at the art and making up your own story to go along with it.


Now with any Gwandanaland Comic you have to remember all they do is either find scans of the comics or get the comic and do the scans themself. They do not touch up the art or alter it in anyway. With their Skywald stuff the only thing that is changed is the ad pages and some of the text pieces are removed. This reprinting a single issue of Nightmare means it has 70 pages. IIRC it was like 8 bucks on Amazon. The bit of looking I have done on Skywald stuff is any issue of their horror comic mags in decent shape will run you way more than 8 bucks. So this reprint from Gwandanaland is a great deal.

The art in almost all the stories is really good. With GASP! being the only one with what I would consider bad art. Out of the 8 stories in the issue 3 of them I found to be pretty damn good. The others went from readable to Skip the story and just enjoy the pretty art level.

If you enjoy horror comics. And have read all the Creepy and Eeries stuff give one of the Skywald collections from Gwandanaland Comics a try.





Monday, December 6, 2021

The Saga of the Victims TPB from Gwandanaland Comics


 
TITLE-The Saga of the Victims
SOURCE-Gwanadanaland Comics #2420

Off and on for the past 20 years I have heard about "The Saga of the Victims". This was a 6 chapter comic serial. Appearing in issues of Skywald Publishing's Scream horror magazine. Scream was a clone of Warren's better known Eerie and Creepy
 

Josey Foster and Anne Adams are college students. Going to a fancy private college. Then one night their dorm gets invaded by demonic looking beings from below the Earth's surface. They learn that the leader of these dwellers from below is the Head Mistress of their college. Using their brains and a bit of luck our two college ladies escape. But end chapter one in a room where a man with no skin has just walked in.
And with this first chapter ,running 20 pages of gorgeous B/w art from artist Suso,establishes the forumula we would get in the next 4 chapters. Each starts off with "the Victims" escaping a cliffhanger from the last chapter. They run into something even more odd and creepy. End up about to die and chapter ends.

Like how they end up on a pirate ship full of zombie pirates. Josey and Anne are made to walk the plank. They fall into a shark infest sea. But a giant squid grabs them and drags them deeper into the sea.
But wait that Giant Squid is actually a submarine. Captained by a midget Nazi,who goes around the world in his Squid-Sub terrorizing various seaside towns and cities.
Just when I thought the writer,Alan Neweteon,couldn't top a Midget Nazi who piloted a Squid-Sub he strands the Victims deep in the darkest jungle. Where they get captured by a tribe of cannbials lead by a giant man who got a masters in psyhcology from Harvard



In the final chapter in this trade,Chapter 5,our leads faced all kinds of insane deathtraps
Before being put into a odd looking spaceship. Being taken to a huge castle.
Which in the final panel takes off into space. All through out the 5 chapters we keep being told that someone/something is torturing the Victims and will keep doing it till they two ladies give up. In Chapter 5 they strongly suggest that in chapter 6 we will learn who/what this ringleader is. And why they chose Josey and Anne to be the Victims.

Now I have hinted that this TPB doesn't contain every chapter of this sadly forgotten batshit insane comic serial.And there is a major reason for that. See Scream was a magazine sized comic that got published by Skywald. Skywald never put a proper copyright notice in their comic mags. Which means they are all public domain now. The issue of Scream that Chapter 5 ,issue 11 aka the Winter of 75 special,was the last issue of Scream to be published.

So what about the final chapter? Well from what I can find it has been published 2 times now. Once was in a horror comic that was published in Spain. This version is of course in Spanish. Then in the early 2000s there was a small print run of a hardcover collection. This collection has ,IIRC in color,all 6 chapters of The Saga of the Victims in English. This hardcover is long out of print. I keep checking a few used book sites and never find a copy for less than 200 bucks.

Honestly even with the story being incomplete this collection is worth grabbing. All of Gwandanaland Comics can be found for sale on Amazon. Or you can buy direct from Lance,the guy who runs Gwandanaland. If you buy direct from him you can get the volumes a slight bit cheaper but have to pay for shipping. Either way you get them they are made by Amazon's print on demand service. I think for the cheap price this volume is worth it. 

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Trouble by Mark Millar and Terry Dodson or Is it as bad as Fanboys have said it is?

 


Since about 2005,closing in on 20 years almost,I have been seeing fanboys online and in person bitch about how horrible Trouble from Marvel was. I figured it was a combo of how many hate Mark Millar now and well the plan to have this 5 issue mini series being a "origin" for Spider-Man,more than likely the Ultimate Universe version of Spidey.

I never saw the issues in the cheap bins and until 2011 there wasn't a hardcover release. Then last year at a Books a Million I found 3 of the 5 issues for a buck each. Figured what the hell and took a chance. Read the first issue and knew then I had to have a nice collection of this series.

Terry Dodson does some amazing art. While the style of the art is modern it fits into the late 60s/mid 70s era the comic is set in. If I recall correctly Dodson's first published artwork in comics was the Rod Stewart issue of Rock N Roll Comix.

Now onto the Mark Millar written story. Mary and May are two 17 year old friends who go to work at a resort in the Hamptons one summer. There they meet Ben,the older brother,and Richie. May is the wilder of the two young adult women and starts dating Ben. Mary is more reserved and ends up quickly in love with Richie. Many years ago a fortune teller told the two girls that "No one will call you Mom" directed at May and "If you sleep with a man before marriage you will be a mother before you are 20" directed at Mary. This more than likely pile of garbage causes the two women to act very differently.May ends up sleeping with Ben,while using protection each time. But Mary lets Richie know early on that she "isn't that type of girl". 

Richie is ok with this and the quieter slightly nerdy Ben is very happy with this. Then after some rich assholes treat May bad one day at work Richie and May have sex. Which turns into them having sex often. They don't really like each other,but they appear to enjoy having sex with each other.

May thinking she will never be a mother doesn't use protection when she is with Richie,and she turns up pregnant. She refuses to abort the child,she knows her father will be physically abusive to her and her mother if he learns. So May runs away. Ends up living with an abusive piece of trash. When May reveals to Ben she is pregnant he lets her know that he is sterile.

Skip ahead a bit. Mary and May get back in touch. And Mary offers a solution to all the mess.Mary will take the child and raise it with Richie. 

And so if you believe that May is the Aunt May of Spider-man fame well that means that Peter Parker's dear elderly Aunt May is really his birth mother. 

For me,well I like this reveal. Sure there is a few things in the comic and Spider-Man's continuity that makes this story not work fully. Like how in the 616 Marvel Universe Aunt May is suppose to be many many years older than Peter Parker's parents. But then in the 616 comics I seem to remember at least a few times it being said that Uncle Ben and Aunt May were not able to have children which is one of the reasons why they were so happy to raise lil Peter Parker. 

The story really reads like a modern take on one of Marvels many 60s thru early 70s romance comics. I have read at the most 10 issues of the old Marvel Romance comics and this really feels like a expanded version. Instead of 22 pages we got 5 times that much.

Dodson's art to me looks like classic Romita Sr romance comic art mixed with modern Adam Hughes. The colors are bright and look great on the high gloss paper used in the hardcover.

And how is the hardcover? It is nice. the dustjacket has some really nice Dodson art on front and back. The interior pages are the issues,plus all the covers. Including the second printing of issue 1's cover. Which has some great Frank Cho artwork.

Since it appears this hardcover had way more printed then there is demand for you can find new old stock copies for under 10 bucks with a bit of searching. I am very happy with what I paid for this.

Trouble Hardcover is a good read with nice art. So instead of just believing what a bunch of whiny fanboys wrote online,go grab a cheap copy and read it and make up your own mind.

Thursday, December 2, 2021

Disney Frozen Issue 2

 

TITLE-Disney Frozen Issue 2

PUBLISHER-Peachtree Playthings

It was last year in the early spring that I discovered Disney had a line of 4 monthly comics. These comics were exculsive to the Dollar Tree chain of stores. Cost a buck an issue and have 22 pages of story. 

This second issue of the Frozen title contains 2 stories. "Just When You Weren't Looking" and "Travel Arendelle"Both stories are credited to Georgia Ball on the writing side and a combination of Benedettta Barone/Michela Cacciatore/Grafimated on the art side.

Heads up I have so far managed to not see either of the Frozen films. Not really avoiding them just haven't seen them.

The first story has two brothers who are cooks and feuding. So Elsa talks to the rest of the village to get the feud to stop. Nothing amazing storywise but the art and colors looks really nice.

Elsa,Anna and Olaf got camping and hiking in the second story. But a avalanche takes out their canoe and tent. So the three have to survive and make their way back home. This story was a bit better than the first one. And has the same nice art and coloring.

Now sure I'm not the target audience for this title. And even with that I still feel like I got my buck's worth of entertainement out of this title. 

Sunday, November 14, 2021

House Party and how it became one of the pillars of New Line Cinema Part 1

 

Back in March of 1990 I was in my mid teens. Most weekends were spent goign to see movies at one of the many movie theaters near me. And at the time New Line Cinema was known for the Elm Street series of films and the TMNT film. I had seen trailers for a new comedy coming out from New Line. House Party was the title of the film. But the trailers looked like crap. I figured I would just wait for the movie to hit vhs and I would rent it.

Then the Monday after House Party came out everybody at school was talking about it. So that day after school was over I borrowed Dad's car and drove to the theater to see the movie. And damn when it was over I was hurting from laughing so much.

Now the plot is simple. Kid got into a fight at school,when some bullies called Kid's dead mother a hooker. And that night since Play's parents are out of town there is a big House Party at Play's place. So Kid is trying to make sure his Dad,the late Robin Harris,doesn't learn about the fight.

Kid ends up sneaking out of his house to got the party. Has a pile of adventures getting to the party. With one of the best moments being when Kid ends up at a snotty party with George Clinton spinning records. 

Once Kid arrives at the party we get a great set of dances. With Kid and Play having a dance off with Sydney and Charane. Seems both Kid and Play have the hots for Sydney and Charane. 

Kid's dad realizes Kid snuck out so is heading over to the party to find him. But thankfully Kid has already left to walk Sydney and Charane home.After walking both ladies home Kid has another run in with the bullies from school and this causes Kid and the bullies to end up in the local police station's lock up.

Kid uses his one phone call to call Play to come bail him out. Thankfully Play,Bilai and Sydney and Charane get to the police station before any of the inmates get a chance to rape Kid. Yep it is 1990 and the lead is in jail so gotta have  a rape joke.

After dropping the two ladies off at their homes Kid is offered the chance to come back to Plays and watch a movie. Or sneak back into his house and goto bed. Kid chooses to sneak back into his home. He is just laying down to sleep when his father catches him and the film rolls the credits as we hear Kid getting his ass whipped by his dad.

What makes this film stand out is the cast. Kid and Play were at the time a rising rap duo. And both of them are great in their parts. Pretty much playing themselves. With Kid as the more level headed guy. And Play is the girl chasing kinda sleazy dude. Martin Lawrence is great as their DJ Bilail.

Sydney is Tisha Campbell,who would go on to play Martin Lawrence's girlfriend on  the hit sitcom Martin. Tisha is really good as Sydney. Sydney is the kinda nice girl that we all knew back in high school. AJ Johnson is amazing as Sharane. Never seen her in anything before or after this. But she captures that vibe of the teen girl that grew up in the projects.

You got the three members of the rap group Full Force as the 3 bullies. Sure 2 of them appear to be 30 so look way too old to be high school students.The late John Witherspoon has a fun part as one of Play's neighbors. He is pretty much playing a prototype version of his character from the Friday series of films. 

Then you got Robin Harris. IIRC he died before this film came out. He was a stand up comedian best known for his Bebe's Kids bit. He is Kid's father. Harris manages to show you how much he cares about his son. But also is so damn funny. The scene were Harris is harassed by cops never fails too make me laugh.

So how is this film a pillar of New Line Cinema? Well the film cost 2.5 million. And made 26.4 million at box office. Plus who knows how much it has made off home video. When this came out New Line was known for the Elm Street films,which saved New Line in the mid 80s. And the first Ninja Turtles film. Both were huge hits and both made New Line a studio that horror fans and kids loved. House Party managed to get for New Line a new group of fans.  Pretty much every teen and young adult went to see House  Party and made the film a huge hit.


31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 31 Escape the Undertaker

 

TITLE-Escape the Undertaker

SOURCE-Netflix

A few years back Netflix introduced interactive movies and episodes of tv shows to their streaming service. The best one ended up being the interactive episode of Black Mirror. I heard that WWE Studios was working with Netflix on something. Then 5 weeks ago learned it was a interactive movie. Figured what the hell give it a watch.

The 3 members of the New Day Stable(Big E,Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston) are trying to get inside of Undertaker's home. To get the urn of power. While Taker for the first half sits at a table typing out commands on a keyboard looking like a version of Jigsaw that grew up in rural Texas.

Nothing super scary. Some ok creepy moments. There was some neat ways they used old match footage and made it work in this movie.

And then there is the interactive part. Mostly it has you choosing to follow a member of the New Day. Most of the choices that don't hinge around splitting up the members have an obvious choice that will end in death/end of movie. Pretty sure I got the best ending already after 3 playthrus. And it is decent. 

Hope there is more stuff like this with WWE and Netflix.

Escape the Undertaker gets a C+.

Saturday, October 30, 2021

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 30 Eyes of Laura Mars

 

TITLE-Eyes of Laura Mars

SOURCE-Mill Creek Blu ray


So yea I've been hearing about this late 70s film for what feels like all my life. Never saw it airing on tv,never saw it for rent in the VHS days. Then I found the Blu Ray,brand new,for 3 bucks so took a chance and bought it.And like most movies I buy it sat on the shelf for close to a year before I watched it tonight.

Faye Dunaway is a fashion photographer in NYC. She keeps having spells where she is seeing murders through the killer's eyes. And ends up recreating these kills in her various photo shoots. Tommy Lee Jones,looking so much like he does now but with more hair,is the cop assigned to protect Faye,who is the Laura Mars of the title.

Brad Dourif is pretty good as the ex con driver that Laura has. And of course he is one of the many red herrings in the film. And there is Rene Auberjonois as Laura's assistant. The hair and the clothes he is wearing makes he look like my elderly Aunt Dean. Finally we got Raul Julia as Laura's (ex)husband. He has a tiny part and still stands out.

The story feels like an Americanized Giallo film. Looked and turns out the original script,titled Eyes,was written by John Carpenter. And this of course came out the same year as Carpenter's Halloween. David Zelag Goodman took the short script Carpenter wrote and made it into the film. ANd Irvin Kershner directed it.

The film looks nice,the blu ray appears to have been given a great transfer of the film. The sound is decent,and the only extra is a commentary I haven't listened to yet.

But even with this being one of hte earliest US giallo inspired movies...it is just slow as fuck. Almost 2 hours long and there are scenes and one really bad earworm disco song that go on for WAY TO FUCKING LONG!!!

The kills are kinda bloodless. Not graphic in anyway. And seen thru the killers smeary blurry vision. Really the main reason the film got an R rating is the nudity,lots of the photoshoots are fashion shoots with topless models,and some foul language. Maybe if say 20 minutes was cut I wouldn't have checked the timer to see how much more the film had at the 1 hour 30 minute mark. 

I like the cast of just odd stars. Appears someone bought this script to have Barbara Streisand as the lead. She thought hte film was too sleazy so Faye Dunaway ,fresh off Network,got the lead. Dourif and Rene do a lot with what could be throwaway roles. Raul Julia I wish had a bigger part in the film,but of course he is another of the many red herrings in this film.

So yea the killer. I will admit I didn;t figure out who it was until 2 minutes before the reveal near the end. But honestly by that time I was just ready for this to end. 

SPOILERS KILLER REVEALED


Yea Tommy Lee Jones the cop is the killer. He slips up in front of Faye. Tries to kill her then has his multiple personalities fighting for control. Shoots a mirror,forgot to mention Faye's bedroom has mirrors over most of the walls in this oddly oval shaped room. And while Tommy Lee is distracted looking at the bullet hole in the mirror Faye kills him. And thankfully this slow slow slow burn of a film is over.


SPOILERS OVER


Yea for 3 bucks I'm glad I saw it. Looks and sounds good. Just way slower than what I was in the mood for today.

Eyes of Laura Mars gets a C.

Friday, October 29, 2021

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 29 It Chapter One

 

TITLE-It Chapter One

SOURCE-Blu Ray


When I heard IT was being remade,and gonna be a 2 part film,I was not that happy. That old made for tv mini series was great. Sure parts of the book were left out. And the ending wasn't great. But I didn't expect much from this remake.

So I didn't bother watching IT. Then last year I was in a country pawn shop. And the guy at the counter had let me know if I was buying in bulk he would cut me a deal on prices. Saw they had IT Chapter One on Blu Ray and it ended up costing me a buck. But the Blu Ray sat on the shelf for a long time,like over a year.

Then a few months ago I spent most of one day just uploading a pile of videos I had made to one of my now 4 Youtube channels. So while I waited on the videos to upload I put in the IT Chapter One Blu Ray.

WOW! I was surprised at how good this was. For me the first half of the TV mini series,which deals with the kids fighting It,was the best part of that mini series. But the group of child actors/actress they got for this film was amazing.

Now it's been close to 12 years since I read the novel. But from what I can remember this version follows the novel fairly close. Sure the old mini series couldn't do some stuff,cause of it being made for broadcast tv. And yes the one scene everybody talks about from the first half of the novel of course isn't in the movie,and if you have read the novel you know what scene I'm talking about.

I was majorly surprised at how good the actor playing Pennywise was. Even the people that hated the old mini series will talk about how amazing Tim Curry was in the role. So going into this I wasn't expecting Bill Skarsgard to even come close to how good Curry was. But Bill is almost as good and his version of Pennywise is always terrifying. Where as Curry was at time pretty funny. But not scary the entire time.

At first I wasn't happy with how they had updated the part with the kids from the 60s to the 80s. But I guess that makes sense with them wanting to set Chapter Two in the modern era. 

And yes I have heard that Chapter Two isn't that good. But I heard people saying that about the second half of the old mini series. And while the second half of it isn't as good as the first half,it isn't bad.

It Chapter One gets a A.


Thursday, October 28, 2021

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 28 Opera

 

Title-Opera aka Terror at the Opera

Source-Tubi streaming app

Somehow this gory and insanely entertaining Dario Argento film escaped my eyes until maybe 8 years ago. I heard about it often in horror mags. But just never saw a copy for rent or happened to catch it airing on TV.


A local playhouse is doing Macbeth. And a killer is taking the lead female,taping pins under her eyes and forcing her to watch him commit brutal murders.

That is pretty much the plot of this film.  But it is the lighting,music and camera work that make this stand out for the thousands of films that have a similar plot. The gore levels in this movie are pretty high. One scene we see a knife being stabbed into the jaw of a guy. And the stabbing victim opens his mouth to scream and there is the blade of the knife covered in piles of blood. 

Appears this movie never got a theatrical release in the States. Mostly having to do with Orion having the rights over here and they were having major money issues.  So most people first got a chance to see this from a VHS release. Of which there was two cuts. An R-rated cut made so the film could get into Blockbuster video. And a fully uncut version that went to other stores.

If you have already seen all the other praised Argento films,Opera is one worth tracking down.

Opera gets a B.

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 27 The VelociPastor

 

TITLE-VelociPastor

SOURCE-Youtube

This low budget and insane horror/comedy came out in 2018. I heard about it back then and wanted to see it. But forgot about the film. Earlier this year I was making a list of films I wanted to review for 31 days of Horror. For some reason VelociPastor popped up in my head. I used the JustWatch site,a great search engine for streaming services,to see if it was on any of the streaming services I have. It wasn't. I mentioned to my lady how I wanted to see the movie and a few minutes later she sent me a link to it on Youtube.

From the first few minutes of this film we can tell what kind of film we are about to watch. The film opens with a car wreck but we dont see the wreck. Instead we see a sign saying something like INSERT WRECK FOOTAGE HERE! So yea we are gonna get a kinda meta horror/comedy.

Doug is our lead and he sees his parents die in the previously mentioned car wreck. Being depressed Doug travels to China on a spiritual journey. He finds a group of ninjas who have an artifact that they claim will turn people into the Dragon Warrior,no not the uber common NES game.

Doug gets infected by the artifact and this causes him to turn into the VelociPastor of the title.And the rest of the film is full of wackiness. With Doug going around fighting people as this dino ninja.

The budget is 35k. And I kinda doubt it was that high. All the FX work looks really cheap. With lots of the scenes with the VelociPastor looking like something I would see in a mid 90s Sega CD video game. But the acting and the really funny and fun script make up for the lack of budget.

This movie was a pretty decent hit on the festival scene. And a sequel is suppose to happen sometime soon.

If you enjoy low budget horror and dumb as a rock comedy this is a movie worth tracking down. Just know going into the film that you are watching a movie that costs less than the catering on any of the big blockbuster movies you have seen in the past 20 years.

The VelociPastor gets a A.

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 26 Inferno

 

TITLE-Inferno

SOURCE-Airing on Starz

Usually once a week I will go thru the Dish Network guide and see what films are airing late at night on Starz,Encore and TMC. Sometimes I will find stuff I have been wanting to see for years so will set the DVR. It was back in early summer that I saw Starz was airing Dario Argento's second installment in the Three Mothers series of films. Then Inferno sat on the DVR for months before I took the time to watch it. Mostly cause there is only one TV in the house with the DVR and I get maybe 6 hours a week to watch stuff off that. Because that TV is in the living room and is usually being used by the others I share my house with.

Released in 1980 until the late 90s this was one of the harder to find Dario Argento films. It rarely aired on TV. It had a very limited theatrical release. And it's lone VHS release,on Key Video,was hard to find. 

Which made Inferno a film that I heard a bunch about for years. For years I would read about how this was a somewhat sequel to Suspiria. And how it had amazing visuals and sound work. Being a huge Argento fan,I had seen Suspiria and the US edited version of Creepers,I just had to see Inferno.

 It was at Coast Con in 1993 that I got my first chance to see the film. Like most cons back then there was a dealer with a table full of grey market/bootleg VHS. You know the guy that would have a table full of laserdisc rips on VHS. The guy that would sell ya a 10 generation dupe of the Star Wars Holiday Special for 30 bucks. Well this dealer was a guy who the year before I had bought a few tapes off of. I asked him if he had Inferno and got told not only did he have it but he had a letterboxed version that was uncut and from a Japanese Laserdisc. Back in those days Japanese Laserdisc rips were considered top of the line. I asked him how much,cause he never had prices on his tapes. Got told it was 35 bucks. Checked my wallet and I had 25 bucks in it. So I told him I would be back. Ran out to my car and drove super fast to the nearest branch of my bank and got money out of the ATM. Get back to the con and learn the dealer had sold the tape while I was gone. He offered "well tell ya what kid how about you give me the 35 bucks and your address and once I get home I will make ya a copy and mail it to you." I didn't do it. Mostly cause I was sure he would just take my money and not mail me the tape.

So it wasn't until Inferno got a region 1 DVD release that I got a chance to see it. The day that DVD came out I went to Best Buy on my lunch break and bought it. I think it was 35 bucks. And the next 4 hours at work felt like 12 hours. As soon as I got home I put the DVD in and watched Inferno. And felt let down. Maybe it was cause I had been hyping the movie up for close to 20 years in my head. Doesn't matter I was mad that this movie I had been wanting to see forever and one that I had been told by many people was great wasn't catching my attention.

Skip ahead to 2012 I was introducing my lady to Dario Argento. Before then all she had seen from Argento was his Phantom of the Opera film. After watching Suspiria she wanted to watch Inferno. I warned her that the film was disappointing. But she didn't care. We watched it and this time the movie worked for me. I loved the movie now. And as soon as we finished watching it I got her to drive me to a nearby movie store and bought a copy of Mother of Tears,which is the third film in the Three Mothers series.

A poet living in NYC buys a book from an rare book dealer. This book tells the story of the Three Mothers. One of whom we saw in Suspiria. And another,Mater Tenebrarum AKA the Mother of Darkness is living in NYC. And the poet is pretty sure she is living in the same building Mater Tenebrarum lives in.Following clues in the book the poet tries to find Mater Tenebrarum and sends a letter to her brother ,who lives in Rome where another of the mothers lives.

While not the most compelling plot in an Argento film,the visuals and sound in this movie are some of Argento's best. Plus the second unit stuff was directed by Mario Bava. Who is another great Italian director.

It wasn't until 2007 that Argento managed to get the third and final film in this series out. Mother of Tears is that film. And it is a film that either you love or you hate. I love it. But also understand why people would hate it.

If you like Argento's films and enjoy Italian horror cinema Inferno is a film you must see. And I'm glad that I didn't get to see it until DVD. Cause I bet seeing this on a shitty VHS dub would have hurt my enjoyment of the film. 

Inferno gets a B.

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 25 Killer High

 

TITLE-Killer High

SOURCE-Uncork'd DVD

So last year for Christmas my pretty much mother in law bought me a stack of DVDs she had found at a Dollar General near her home. She knows I'm a huge horror fan. And thought this movie is one of the DVDs she bought me.

Well the DVD got thrown into the unwatched DVD pile and sat there for months. Then earlier today I was looking for a horror film to watch. Saw this and figured hell I will take a chance on it. So went out to my pier and put the DVD into my laptop. 

Made in 2018 and from what I can find premiered in 2019 on the SYFY Channel this is a modern attempt at starting a slasher franchise. In a small town that is almost a ghost town a young lady is planning her 10 year high school reunion. After the hotel she was going to have the reunion at closes she has no choice but to host the reunion at the now abandoned high school. 

At this school someone is wearing the school's mascot outfit,the Wallingham Warthog,and going around the reunion killing people.  So now our lead,Sabrina Swanson played by Kacey Rohl,not only has to deal with all the issues of having a reunion at a building that is falling apart,but she also must deal with there being a killer on the loose.

This film treads a fine line between being a spoof and being serious. In that way it reminds me of films like Waxworks or Evil toons. For being a slasher film the gore levels are not that high. I'm betting when this airs on SYFY they don't have to edit out much.

So if you are a fan of slashers and aren't one of those slasher fans that takes the slasher genre super serious,you know the kind of fan  that seem to think that films like Madman or the Forest are legit good films,this is worth tracking down and seeing. As of right now Killer High isn't streaming on any of the major streaming services in the US. But I have seen the DVD for sale cheap in many Dollar General stores.

Killer High gets a C-.

Sunday, October 24, 2021

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 24 Trophy Heads

 

TITLE-Trophy Heads

SOURCE-Full Moon DVD

Now I have been into the films from Full Moon since I saw Puppet Master for rent at a video store 30 years ago. But over the last 10 years I kind of lost touch with Full Moon. So when in 2014 Full Moon did Trophy Heads as a tv show on their streaming service I didn't hear about it. 

It wasn't until sometime early this year that I learned the movie existed. CodyLL,who is better known to people that watch the Asshat Podcast youtube channel,was telling me about the movie. And once he mentioned Jaqueline Lovell was in the film I had to see it. Thankfully Cody isn't a Full Moon fan,so he offered to throw the Trophy Heads DVD into the next package he was going to mail me.The package came in and the DVDs in it got added to the ever growing DVD watch pile.

Back in the end of spring I had taken to sitting out on my pier after dinner. I would sit down there and watch DVDs on my laptop as I edited video footage. Usually I was watching DVDs of stuff I had never seen. And one of those evenings I watched Trophy Heads and LOVED IT!

A middle age horror fan,who lives in the basement of his mother's home,has started kidnapping the famous Scream Queens of the 80s thru 90s. He makes them stay in jail cells he has in his home. Then one by one the Scream Queens are made to act in recreations of some of their most famous scenes. Once the Scream Queens are dead our Incelish lead male mounts their heads on his wall.

Now I figured going into this that it's start as a original series for Full Moon's streaming service and the low budget would produce a boring unfunny unscary horror/comedy from Full Moon. One that barely runs 70 minutes and that is with 12 minutes of credits. Sure the origin of this as a series of short films is obvious when you watch the movie. And the low budget hurts some of the scenes. But every member of the cast is having a blast and this energy shines through.

Speaking of the cast,Charles Band got a great cast. Most of whom I'm pretty sure have worked on Full Moon films before. All the Scream Queens are playing slightly fictionalized versions of themselves.


Brinke Stevens,my favorite of the 80s/90s era Scream Queens,is supposedly a massage therapist. Ms Stevens has always been great at comedy and in Trophy Heads she gets some of the best lines and scenes. Pretty sure Brinke's film Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity was a Full Moon movie.


Up next on the Scream Queen front is Darcy DeMoss. I had to look her up and even then still only thing I knew her from was Friday the 13th Part 6. She plays Nikki in that classic. Appears this is her first Full Moon film.


The 3rd Scream Queen is the main reason I wanted to see this film,that is Jacqueline Lovell. I first saw Ms Lovell in Full Moon's Head of the Family. She was great in that and all the other B-movies I saw her in for about a 15 year period. Then she just disappeared. I had heard rumors of her getting married. And now that she was ashamed of her b-movie past,plus she wasn't happy about her stint in softcore porn as Sara St James. First off Jacqueline looks exactly the same as she did in the last film I saw her in 15 years ago. And I looked her up. Appears I was partially right. She did stop acting after she got married and had her first kid. But saw no proof that she was ashamed of the films she did in her past.


Ya can't have a Scream Queen reunion style film without Linnea Quigley. AFAIK Linnea has never been in a Full Moon film before. Sure early in her career she was in Fairy Tales. But that film was made 10 years at least before Full Moon existed. But it did have Charles Band as the director.  Shit I forgot Linnea  was in Sorority Babes in the SlimeBall Bowl-a-rama film.Linnea is great in this cause she is playing herself,but now she is a hardcore Christian. Who goes around knocking on doors and trying to convert people to the ways of Jesus.


Michelle Bauer completes the infamous trio of 80s Scream Queens,her and Brinke and Linnea were the best known of that era's Scream Queens. Michelle has always shown that she has a good sense of comedic timing. And is given the chance to really show that skill off in this film. As a Full Moon connection Ms Bauer was also in Sorority Babes in the SlimeBall Bowl-A-Rama with Linnea and Brinke Stevens.


And our final Scream Queen is Denice Duff. I didn't know who she was when I saw her. The name sounded a bit familiar but I had no clue what I knew her from. Looked her up and she was in Full Moon's SubSpecies series of films. I was never a big fan of that series of films from Full Moon. But Denice is decent in this movie.

Adam Roberts and Maria Olsen are both excellent as the horror fan and his mother. Olsen is so good as the Mom who is doing all she can to help her grown Man Child kidnap and then kill these Scream Queens.

Now sure if you didn't grow up watching all the films these Scream Queens were in I don't know how much appeal this movie will have for you. But if you were one of us that was renting stuff like Nightmare Sisters and Creepazoid from the video store Trophy Heads is worth seeing.

Trophy Heads gets  a B-.



Saturday, October 23, 2021

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 23 Sorority Row

 



TITLE-Sorority Row
SOURCE-Summit Entertainment DVD


I remember hearing in 2008 that a remake of House on Sorority Row was being remade. Not being much of a fan of the original,and sadly how in 2009 when this remake was released the habit of horror films being cut to PG 13 for theatrical release,and getting an UNCUT/R Rated cut release on DVD,I skipped this movie. In the over 10 years since the film came out I rarely heard anyone ever say they saw it. I just assumed it was another of the many remakes that came out and was not worth even renting.

Skip ahead to last summer. One of the local pawn shops had an overstock of DVDs/Blu Rays. I walked in and the owner let me know that if I bought at least 20 dvds they were 2 for a buck. I dug thru the shelves and bins and found 17 DVDs I wanted. So started looking for 3 more to get to the magical number of 20. Saw Sorority Row and took a chance on it.

And like lots of films I buy the DVD got put into a box and forgotten about. Then I found the box a week ago. Was digging in it,mostly trying to find a dvd to watch while I sat out on my pier doing a bit of video editing work. Figured I would put the film on and halfway listen to it. So I was surprised when 10 minutes into the film I was hooked and gave it my full attention.

A sorority sister gets 5 of her fellow members to help her pull a prank on her boyfriend and one of the sister's brothers. They convince the guys that one of the sisters is dead. They load the "body" up into a van and are planning on driving out to the middle of nowhere and throw the body into a lake. 

When they get to the body of water someone mentions how they gotta get the last of the air out of the dead body's lungs so it won't float to the top of the lake.  So the brother grabs a tire iron and stabs the "dead body" thru the chest. Which of course actually kills her.  The sorority sisters and the two guys dispose of the body and swear to never talk about this.

A year later the sisters start to get odd texts. Yep this is another variant on I Know What You Did Last Summer. I saw this and was thinking that I was gonna not enjoy this film. But I was shocked cause the cast and the FX work kept my attention.

So the cast....of the 6 main females in the film I knew who 4 of them were. You had Greg Evigan;s daughter Briana as Cassidy. Rumer Willis as nerdy sorority sister Ellie.Jamie Chung as the airhead Clarie. And finally the one that it took me most of the film to realize why I thought she looked familiar. Margo Harshman plays Chugs. It is Chug's brother that kills the "Dead" sister. And Margo I knew from being one the main cast on the Disney Channel sitcom Even Stevens. Plus who can forget the late Carrie Fisher as the house mother. Carrie is great in this part and really appears to being having a blast in the role.

The kills are all pretty well done. The best being Chug's death. Where she has a bottle of wine shoved down her throat and chokes on the liquid. I was really surprised at how graphic and gory the deaths are. Sorority Row is a throwback to the 80s slashers. In that we get piles of gory deaths and a decent amount of nudity.

So if you haven't seen the movie and it is streaming/airing on a service you have. Or you find it on home media for 5 bucks or less,give Sorority Row a watch.

Sorority Row gets a C+

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 22 Class of 1984

 

TITLE-Class of 1984

SOURCE-Airing on Joe Bob's Last Drive In

Yea you can argue this isn't horror. But if it counts as horror for Joe Bob Briggs that works for me.

Set in a high school,that in many ways reminds me of the school I went to for 9th grade,in 1984 this was one of the many high school from Hell films to come out between the mid 70s and late 80s.Written by Tom Holland the film ended up being a bigger hit than expected and ended up getting a sequel,Class of 1999.


When this came out the two biggest names in the cast were Perry King,on the left in the above picture. And Roddy McDowell,on the right. Perry plays the new music/band teacher at a run down graphitti covered high school. McDowell is a science teacher that has been there for years.

The film starts on Perry's first day. We are supposed to be shocked by scenes of the students smoking pot out in the open,having to go through a metal detector at the front door. And I'm sure back in 81 when this came out that was a bit shocking to lots of the people seeing the film. Sadly now it isn't nearly as shocking. 

McDowell,who carries a gun in his briefcase,tries to tell King that there is nothing they can do. But King wants to change the school. He gets introduced to the gang of street punks that run the school during his first band class of the day. 


In this class is a 15 year old looking Michael Fox,no J yet in his name. I looked and Fox was close to 20 if not a bit older when this was filmed. This was before he got the lead on Family Ties. 

The film is mostly King and McDowell,eventually,trying to get the street punk kids kicked out. But every time King thinks he has them caught the punks get out of trouble. Finally King and McDowell go so far that the street punks go and kidnap King's pregnant wife. 

Which leads to the last 3rd of the film. King is having the school band perform at a concert at the school at night. But before he can start the female member of the street punks delivers a Poloroid of the rest of the gang raping King's wife. King goes after them and we get him killing them in fairly violent ways all through out the school. The best kill is in the woodshop room. Where King uses a table saw to first cut the arm off one of the punks. Then since that isn't enough he shoves the punk down back first onto the running blade.

We end up on the room of the school. King vs the lead punk near a skylight. The punk had planned on hanging King's wife and throwing her through the skylight so that her body would drop down right above where the school band is playing. King of course prevents this and the lead street punk ends up being the one hung and tossed through the skylight.

Now before watching this all I knew Perry King for was Mandingo and the 80s detective show Riptide. He does a great job as our heroic lead. Roddy McDowell of course I've seen in piles of movies. And you believe him as the long time teacher who finally can't take the bullshit anymore. Michael Fox is decent as the band geek. 

Overall this was pretty damn good. I have seen bits of it before. But had never bothered seeing the entire film. So when Joe Bob was showing it as the second film of week 2 of season 3 of Joe Bob's Last Drive In on Shudder I watched it live. It is rare I watch Joe Bob live. 

Class of 1984 gets a B+

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 21 Dead Heat

 

TITLE-Dead Heat

SOURCE-Airing on Joe Bob's Last Drive In

I love how Joe Bob keeps showing films that I have seen but not thought about in years. Dead Heat came on in 1988,and got horrible press. Was called one of the worst films in years. Not sure why I didn't see this in a theater. Because back in 1988 I was going to see pretty much every horror and sci fi film that hit theaters.

Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo are cops and are heading to robbery at a jewel store. Bullets don't seem to effect the robbers. So Williams and Piscopo use a non-conventional way to stop them. Which of course gets them in trouble with their Chief.

A cornor friend of our leads,love that Williams is playing Roger Mortis,informs him that the robbers have autopsy scars. And she remembers performing the autopsy on them. She finds an odd chemical in the dead bodies,so our two cops goto the company that makes this chemical to see what is up. Treat ends up trapped in decompression room. Which the company uses to kill the animals they experiment on. Treat dies.

But Treat is brought back to life. And now him and Joe are trying to figure out how and why someone is using dead bodies to commit major crimes. But can they solve this case before Treat dies again? Seems the process used to bring Treat back also causes his organ to liquify over the course of a few days.

Dead Heat was made by New World Pictures. And appears to have a fairly high budget. But it only made a bit over 3.5 million at the box office. Oddly it found it's audience with home video and cable airings.

The comedy and horror in the film don't mix that well. Which sucks cause the premise is a great idea. But lots of Piscopo's one liners fall flat. Mostly cause they happen during scenes where we are suppose to be scared. Maybe if the gore factor was turned up a few notches this film would have worked better. Look at Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive. It has you laughing while at the same time grossed out.

Whoever did the FX work in this film did a great job. You got lots of puppets. A pile of well done practical effects. 

Dead Heat gets a B-.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

31 Days of Horror 2021 Day 20 Death Park parts 1 through 6

 

TITLE-Death Park parts 1,2,3,4,5,6

SOURCE-B-Movies TV On Demand 

Back in late 2017 I finally got a ROKU. And thanks to the great DVDVR forum I had learned about B-Movies TV. B-Movies TV is a free streaming service that is only available on ROKU devices. 24/7 it is airing movies,cartoons,tv shows and even some pro wrestling. But unlike most streaming services B-Movies TV has no video on demand. You just know that every 2 hours on the top of the hour a new film will start. And each day has a theme. So for months I would check every 2 hours to see what they were airing. And got to see some rare cult movies on there. Cause B-Movies TV specializes is cult and rare film. 

Skip ahead to summer of 2020 and I learn that there is now a second B-Movies TV streaming service. This second service is titled B-Movies TV on Demand. And is all video on demand stuff. I added it and was looking through what all they offered. Besides the normal public domain stuff that piles of free services offer was 6 short horror movies titled Death Park 1 through 6.

Death Park 1 was released back in 2018.It is only 7 minutes long. Set in a state park it is about a killer running around during the day time ,while wearing a rubber full head Donald Trump mask. And this killer was killing various people in this park in fairly gruesome ways.


Parts 1,2 and 3 are all fairly short. Usually being close to 7 minutes long.And mostly just have people in the park then the killer appears and kills them. Usually by stabbing them with something sharp. Then starting with part 4 we start getting longer entries with more plot.



Part 4 is almost 20 minutes long. In this part we see a graphic kill. Where a guy gets his penis chopped off. And DAMN it looks very realistic. Also in part 4 we learn that one of the park attendents lost his eye when attacked by the masked killer. This attack happened before the first Death Park short.

Part 5 was the last segment of this series that was filmed in 2019. It is almost 30 minutes long. You can tell that by this part the cast and crew got into the groove of low budget film making. So part 5 feels like a legit short film. 

As of right now Part 6,which was released in 2020,is the newest instalment of this series.It is close to 40 minutes long. And like part 5 it is a major improvment in the series. The kills look even better. The acting is much better and it is neat to see the cast and crew get better with each part of the series.

Now sure these are amazing films. But sometimes you are in the mood for something a bit cheesy and cheap. And Death Park 1 through 6 fits that perfectly. The way part 6 ends you can tell they hope to make another installment.

Looking on IMDB I see that Death Park:The End is filming right now in 2021 and is suppose to come out soon.

I just looked and all 6 parts are now on Youtube.So if you don't have a Roku you can watch them.

Playlist of Death Park 1 through 6 on Youtube

The Death Park series is made by Ken Brewer.


Ken wrote,produced and directed all six released Death Park short films and is doing the same for the upcoming Death Park:The End.

He also wrote,produced and directed the short film Slaycation. Which is also on Youtube.


It shows that Ken loves horror. And it is always fun to watch horror films made by people that love the genre.

Death Park 1 through 6 get a C+.