I play way to many video games!

Chrono Trigger

Nintendo DS

Yes Chrono Trigger still my favorite RPG of all time. After a very sucky rerelease on the PS1,all fans of Chrono get a rerelease that is most ways is even better than the original SNES release. The basic story is a young man ,and various people he picks up along the way,try to stop the ultimate evil. After an accident they figure out how to travel through time,and visit various time periods. From the far far future to the stone age.Many different things makes this game stand out from the flood of RPGs on the market. One thing is how there really isn't any random encounters,the bane of most RPGs. Another is how once you level up enough you can do double or triple attacks in which you team up with one or two other members of your party and unless a much stronger attack.But the biggest thing that has made this game stand out,and the one that keeps me replaying it even now,is the multiple endings. Things you do in the past of future determine what ending you get. And lastly one feature that I think most RPGs should have now is New Game +. This is were after you beat the game,you can start over at the beginning but with all the levels and most of the equipment you had when you beat the game. This allows you to go through the game faster and is the key thing to allow you to get some of the alternate endings. Now the DS release has added a couple of extras that were not in either of the 2 previous releases. First is a new area you can explore,In this you end up becoming the heroes of a group of lizard/human hybrids. And you get some nice equipment. The other is the battle arena,where you train and fight your monsters against the computer or through wifi other players. A difference I noticed is that some items,and enemies have different names from the SNES release. Thankfully the major flaw of the PS1 release isn't present here. It seems cause of the PS1 release being on a CD the battles sometimes had horrid load times,but since the DS is a cart based system this version doesn't have this problem. Another nice extra is the game comes packed with a nice mini poster that on the other side has a map of the overworld.Chrono Trigger DS is one of the few games I paid full retail price for. And even now over a year since I bought it I still pull it out and play it at least a few days each month. Chrono Trigger DS earns a A+.

TPB winners 03

X-O Manowar Retribution

Art by Barry Windsor-smith,Sal Velluto,and Mike Manley

Story by Bob Layton,Jim Shooter,and Steve Englehart

X-O Manowar is the title that got me into the Valiant Universe. X-O is a barbarian who aquires a alien suit of armor,kinda a Conan in Iron Man's suit type of hero. This trade reprints the first 4 issues of the original X-O run. It also included a X-O Database comic that had various diagrams of X-O's armor. Kidnapped many years ago by a race of spider aliens,Aric lives for a few years as a slave on the alien mothership. But thanks to the help of another slave he gets a map to the spider aliens ultimate weapon. This is the X-O Manowar class armor. Aric manages to get the armor and escapes the ship and heads back to Earth,but it turns out he is now in the year 1993. Somehow even though only 2 or 3 years have passed while he was on the mothership,in realtime many decades have passed. So he is a man out of his time.Using his armor he fights back against the spider aliens and various other threats. Aric finds out that the spider aliens have been hiding on Earth for many years and have started up a multi-national company, Orb Industries. Aric with the help of a kinda sleazy weasel of a man manages to take over Orb and through this he slowly becomes used to the modern world.When I started reading X-O it was with issue 4,but thanks to not having a comic shop near me,I didn't manage to get issues with any regularity until around issue 15. And back in the early to mid 90's most Valiant back issues cost way more than I wanted to pay. The previously mentioned issue 4,which was the first appearnce of the Shadowman,I ended up selling for around $40.So when I finally got this trade sometime last year,it was the first time I got to read the first 3 issues of this series. And I was very impressed at how well written these issues are. One complaint about the various Valiant series back in the 90's was that the stories were great but the artwork wasn't that good. Well these 4 issues are proof of how wrong that was. Issue 1 has layouts by Barry Windsor-smith,finishes by Bob Layton and John Holdredge. The story in this issue is by Jim Shooter and Steve Englehart. And has a amazing Barry Windsor-smith cover that I would love a poster sized version of. The second issue has another very nice Barry Windsor-smith cover,and is penciled by Sal Velluto,inks by Bob Layton,Tom Ryder,and Kathryn Bolinger. Now this issue the art isn't as good as the first,but really there is few artist out there that can come close to BWS. Issue 3 has a cover by David Lapham,and is gotta be one of his earliest published pieces of comic art. The interior has again Shooter and Englehart doing the writing chores,and Sal on the pencils. The inks are by Tom Ryder and Ted Halsted. And the final issue reprinted in this trade,issue 4.Though there is no credit to who did the cover to my eyes it looks like another good Barry Windsor-smith cover.The writers are Bob Layton and Steve Englehart,with Mike Manley doing the pencils,and Ralph Reese and Tom Ryder slinging the ink. Issue 4 I have already mentioned has the cameo first appearance of Shadowman,but it also has a very early appearance of the Harbinger kids. Overall the art work while not as flashy as alot of the art coming out from Image and Marvel at the time is still very solid and to me at least more appealing. One nice thing is now you can find this trade on various auction sites for less than cover price,I think I paid about $3 with shipping for my copy. X-O Manowar Retribution trade paperback gets a B+.

TPB winner 04

Animal Man volume 1

Story by Grant Morrison

Art by Chas Truog and Tom Grummett

This is a trade paperback reprinting the first 9 issues of the best series coming out from DC comics in the late 80's. Before this series Buddy Baker AKA Animal Man was a mostly forgetten hero. He has the power to gain the ability of any near by animal. So he can have the strength of a gorilla, or the abiltity to regrown body parts like a lizard.What I love about Buddy is how he is a blue collar hero, since being a superhero doesn't pay that well He does stuntwork to earn money. The comic focuses on Buddy and his family,his wife Ellen,his son Cliff and his daughter Maxine.The first few issues find Buddy coming outta a semi retirement to help out a lab that does tests with animals. He soon finds out that this lab is doing horrible things to their test animals,and with the help of Bwanna Beast,another long forgotten hero,Buddy does his best to correct this wrong doing.These issues also have a funny scene were Buddy comes down stairs in his hero uniform ,but he has a black jacket on top of it. When asked by Ellen why he is wearing the jacket Buddy replies Well I need a place to keep my keys and money,and I feel kinda silly running around in spandex. This small touch is one of many that makes Buddy and his family seem more like real people and not just some charecters in a comic book. After the first animal testing storyline we get a handfull of done in one storys,but there is a underlying story that runs through these issues and many more to come. We see how since Buddy has a connection with animals he becomes a vegaterian,and how he becomes PETA's number 1 hero. We also get to see how Ellen and the kids deal with being the family of a superhero. Issue 5 is the acclaimed "Coyote Gospel" which is a Christ story with a Wile Coyote stand in. This issue is one that divides many people,some people think of it as the best issue of the series,and others hate it with a passion. I will admit that I like it but find it kinda preachy.The trade wraps up with an issue in which Buddy joins Justice League Europe,and since he is now a member of one of the biggest superhero teams,he gets all the perks. Which include a salary,and various home defense devices installed in his home,incase some supervillain wants to get back at buddy by attacking his family. This issue is full of humor and is a nice way to end this trade. One complaint I have heard about this trade is how you can tell it is part 1 of a longer storyline,which it is. But in my eyes it works good as a standalone. The story by Morrison is IMHO some of his best work. I am of the mind that when Morrison is working on a creator owned,or a b-list hero he is one of the best writers out there. But when you put him on an A-list title,he is pure shit. The artwork by Chas Truog for the first 8 issues is nothing to write home about,but isn't bad. It is just average. Issue 9 has very good artwork by Tom Grummett,and this is major step up from the previous 8 issues. The covers are all by Brian Bolland and each one is amazing. I would love to have a book that is just Bolland's various covers for this series,or end a series of posters of these covers. Animal Man Volume 1 gets an A.

Showcasing the Essentials 06

Mad for Decades

Written by Various authors

Art by Various artists

Mad Magazine has been for along time one of my favorite sources of parody and biting social commentary.And this is a hardcover reprint of 5 decades of the magazine.Divided up into 5 chapters,with each chapter focusing on a decade,this book is a good sampler of the best of Mad.It starts in the 50's and has the classic "Lone Stranger","Superduperman","Melvin of the apes" and others.Alot of the parodies in this decade have beautiful artwork by Wally Wood. One standout to me is "Starchie" a very funny parody of the Archie comics. Showing Starchie and Bottleneck as the bad apples most readers of the Archie comics wished they had been.It is full of subversive humor that takes the piss outta the squeeky clean image of the Archie Comics Group. The next chapter is of course the 60's.This is full of great sendups of the hippie culture and the entire Mod movement.My favorite is a great parody of "2001" which is titled "201 minutes of a Space Idiocy",a of course "Bats-man" a humorous take on the sixtie's favorite "Batman" tv show. Well anyone that has enough brains to read would know that the next chapter is the 70's. With many shots taken at disco and all various horrors that made up the 70's this is one of my favorite chapters in this tome.Next up is the chapter on the 80's,which is full of potshots taken at the greed and yuppies of the decade. And finally we close out the book with a chapter on the 90's. From grunge to gangsta rap nothing is left out. All through out the various chapters we get the many long running segments of MAD. Spy vs spy,the lighter side of...,and of course the amazing silent funnys from the man the myth the legend Sergio Aragones.This is a great "toliet" book. And can usually be found at most major bookstores on sale very cheap. Mad for Decades earns a perfect A+.

Showcasing the Essentials 05

Savage Dragon Archives Volume 1

Story and art by Erik Larsen

This is Larsen's version of Marvel's Essential line or DC's Showcase line. It reprints in black and white the original 3 issue Savage Dragon mini and the first 21 issues of the ongoing series. Savage Dragon was and still is the only one of the orignal titles that came outta the beginings of Image that I read consitantly. Dragon is a tall man with green skin and a fin on top of his head. He is found naked in a abandoned lot in Chicago. He has amnesia and can't remember anything about his past,but he seems to have vast knowledge about most things that have happened in the past 20ish years. He is recruited by Frank Darling of the Chicago Police department. The police want him to help combat all the villianous super powered "freaks" that are running rampart in the city.Dragon ends up becoming the city of Chicago's first line of defense against these "freaks".In the 3 issues of the mini and the first 10 or so issues of the ongoing we are introduced to the many heroes and villians that populate Larsen's ficticious version of Chicago.One thing that stands out to me is most of these charecters were all created by Larsen when he was a youngster. Through out this trade Dragon manages to get a group of heroic "freaks" to also join the police force to help his fight against crime. But the restrictive rules and various other things ends up making these various heroes time as cops very short. One very interesting "freak" is Jimbo Da Mighty Lobster, he was created for a "Create your own freak"contest. Jimbo is a Lobster/human hybrid and has a very "colorful" was of speaking. I find it neat that unlike similar contest ran at either Marvel or DC,the creator of Jimbo is the copyright owner. Through out the 24 issues reprinted in this trade we get to meet a buttload of heroes/villians. Some standouts are Powerhouse,who has the head of a chicken and seems to be Larsen's villianous take on Superman. Overlord,who is the leader of the main gang of "freaks" and is Dragon's arch enemy. Rapture,and electrical powered former hooker who becomes Dragon's girlfriend.She Dragon,who started out as a parody of John Bryne's version of She Hulk,but ends up becoming a well written female hero that hears voices in her head. Super Patriot,a hero from the world war II era ,who after almost dying is now more machine than man. And finally Mighty Man,who shares alot with the Billy Batson version of Captain Marvel. But in this case is a young adult female nurse that turns into a adult male with amazing powers. Some issues that I really enjoyed are issue 3 of the mini series. In this issue Badrock,a member of the government super team Youngblood,attacks Dragon to see if he is tough enough to be a member of Youngblood. After Dragon defeats him,Dragon arrest Badrock and refuses to join Youngblood. Issue 2 of the ongoing series is a crossover with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And this is the Mirage version of the turtles,not the pizza eating version that most people are use too. Issue 10 is the first appearance of Jimbo Da Mighty Lobster,and has a Pier 6 brawl between Jimbo and Dragon.Issues 15 and 16 has Dragon possessed by a leech that turns him into a mindless force of nature,and he ends up destroying some building and injuring his partner in the police force. The only real negative to this trade is that since it is in black and white sometimes the artwork is hard to follow. This isn't a huge detriment,but since I had read most of these issues when they first came out it stood out to me. Savage Dragon Archives Volume 1 is a great way to get into the world of the Dragon at a cheap price,and earns a respectable B.

Showcasing the Essentials 04

Predator Omnibus Volume 1

Art by Various
Stories by various

After Dark Horse had a huge hit with their "Aliens" comic line they quickly scooped up the Predator franchise. The first mini is a direct sequel to the first Predator movie. Starring Arnold,He is now back in the city. And lots of strange deaths are happening. Needless to say the Predator is back and he aint happy. The second mini reprinted in this trade is Cold War,which has Arnold out in a cold cold area of Russia,and of course their is another of the Predator species there. There are 5 more stories reprinted in this hefty tome. And overall they are good to very good. The artwork is decent,nothing too flashy. And the writting is way better than most other comics based on movie properties. The trade is smaller than a normal trade,it is about the same size as your standard Manga trade. And since it is in color,the price is around $25. I got it cheaper thru Instocktrades.com. And if i ever find the next volume on sale I will pick it up.Predator Omnibus Volume 1 gets a B.

ET was a good video game Damn IT!!!!

Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2

Nintendo DS

I was a big fan of both of the X-men Legends and the original Marvel Ultimate Alliance games. Even if all three were not much more than a updated version of arcade classic Gauntlet with Marvel heroes instead of the standards of fantasy gaming. So when I heard about Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 coming out I knew I would have to pick it up. Well turns out the only gaming system I own that it came out for was the DS. I figured no biggie,I play my DS more than any other system I currently own. So off I go to my local Gamestop and after trading in a game that I hated I got this for about $15.First the good things. The graphics and sound is really good for a DS title.All the heroes/villains look like they should.Second the line up consisting of Thor,She Hulk,Iron Man,Sentry,Ms Marvel,Venom,Green Goblin,Hulk,Spider-man,The Thing,Storm,Luke Cage,Captain America,Wolverine and Invisible Woman,is a decent selection of heroes/villains. And there is alot more that you see in the game but can't play as.The storyline which is a mish-mash of the recent Secret war,and Civil War stories from the comics, is not too bad. I also enjoyed that after the first couple of missions you have to choose to be on Iron Man's pro registration side,or Cap's con registration side.The controls are also as good if not better than the previous 3 games in this series. But even with all that is good with this game the negatives far out weigh the positives. First of all there is multiple times were you will walk half way into a wall,or some other thing on the playfield. Second there seems to only be one level of difficulty. And last and the worst is the length of the game,on the first play through I choose Cap's side and it took me about 5 hours total to beat the game. So next play through I choose Iron Man's side and it took about the same amount of time. So to completely play through the game takes around 10 hours tops. Not nearly long enough for a game that retails for around $30.And besides not being able to choose certain heroes/villains there really isn't much difference in the game based on which side you choose. I am currently trying to decide if I should trade this game in,or give it to my cousin's boy who loves the Marvel heroes. So Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 for the DS gets a C+.

Showcasing the Essentials 03

Showcase Presents Warlord Volume 1

Story by Mike Grell

Pencils by Mike Grell

Warlord was an attempted by DC to cash in on the minor sword and sorcery fad that was happening in comics in the 70's. Marvel had a huge hit on their hands with Conan. Warlord is Travis Morgan a military man who's plane crashes through and open spot in the earth near the north pole,and he ends up in a world that is inside the Earth. Where the sun always shines. Kinda a cheesy concept,but in the capable hands of one Mike Grell it turned into a very long running series. In his first appearance Morgan meets the lovely Tara,a princess of a society that seems to be the most advanced in all of this world. The first 10 or so issues deal with him meeting people and traveling back to Tara's homeland. Along the way he meets up with Machiste,a King of another society,and Mariah,a Russian scientist that follows Morgan back to this hidden land. Early on he faces what would become his arch enemy Demios,a wizard that also knows about a lot of the tech that is laying around. Seems this world was settled by the remnants of the survivors of the lost island of Atlantis. After many adventures Morgan joins back up with Tara to learn that she is with child. And not too long after the child is born it is kidnapped by Demios. This leads to a multi-issue storyline . When Morgan finally confronts Demios,he ends up having to fight to the death with his rapidly aged son. After a long battle Morgan ends up killing his son,and it seems that Demios is dead. But all is not what it seems. Turns out Morgan only killed a clone of his son and the evil Demios is still alive. This Showcase reprints the first appearance of the Warlord,plus the first 28 issues of his series. Along with the good to great stories,it has some simply breathtaking artwork by Mike Grell. Most issues have a two page title splash that is just amazing.I ended up getting this hefty tome in the mail yesterday and read it all in one sitting. And now I can only hope they publish another soon. Showcase Presents Warlord gets a A.

Garth Ennis Mad Irish genius 01

The Boys Volume 1 The name of the game

Written by Garth Ennis

Art by Darick Robertson

The Boys is a creator owned series first published by the DC imprint Wildstorm. When it first came out I was not reading many comics and didn't bother to pick it up. Then the series was dropped by Wildstorm.This stirred up a lot of press for the book. And when it was quickly picked up by Dynamite Entertainment ,I went out and bought the first trade. The story is a world were superheroes are real. And there is a team of heroes that are sponsered by the government to keep and eye on the other heroes and make sure they don't get outta control. We start off with Wee Hughie an englishman who looks alot like Simon Peg,he is out enjoying a carnival with his girlfriend when she is accidentlly ran over by a super speed possessing hero who is chasing after a villain. This kills Hughie's girlfriend,and he settles into a deep bout of depression. After a few weeks he is contacted by Billy Butcher,the lead of the BOYS. Butcher has a huge grudge with all the various superheroes,and recruits Hughie to help make sure the heroes stay in line.Hughie agrees to temporarly join the team and meets the other members. Mother's Milk ,who seems to be the most level headed. The Frenchman,a small man who goes into major rages of violence. And The Female,a quiet asian woman who works on the side for various mafia types. This trade reprints the first 6 issues and is mainly about how Hughie decieds to join the team,and his first mission in which they send a warning to a team of super powered teenagers. Turns out this group of teens are sexual deviants and have almost no morals. After a quick fight,The Boys end up beating the shit outta the teens and Hughie accidentlly kills on of the teens. This causes Hughie to have second thoughts about being a member of the team. But thanks to a chance meeting of a cute blonde girl in Central Park ,he agrees to keep working with The Boys. This girl it turns out is the newest member of this universe's version of the JLA. And we see how this JLAish team is also full of some of the most dispicable people. The trade ends with the feeling that eventually The Boys and JLA parody will end up in a huge war. Garth Ennis is one of my fave comic storytellers,ever since I read the first issue of "Preacher" he has been one of the few writers that I will pick up anything he does. And he doesn't dissapoint. The trade is full of the usual Ennis black humor,and of course he street level way with words. Darick Robertson is an artist I hadn't seen much from before,but his art on this title is good. He is able to draw the various scenes of ultra violence ,and even his scenes of plain conversation are eye catching. Overall Boys volume 1 gets a A-.

TPB winners 02

Metamorpho Year One

Art by Dan Jurgens and Mike Norton

Story by Dan Jurgens

Metamorpho is one of my favorite DC heroes. He has the power to transmute any of the elements in his body into any other element. A pretty versitle power that over the years he has used to very interesting results.This is a trade paperback of the 2007,2008 mini series. It lasted 6 issues. The story is an updating of Metamorpho's origin,mainly to bring it into the modern age. Rex Morgan is a treasure hunter with his own reality show. The show is a huge hit and he decides to go out and try to find the legendary Orb of Ra. Rex's show is funded by Simon Stagg,a kinda evil billionare. Rex is in love with Simon's daughter Sapphire Stagg. And he figures with the ratings boost from when he finds the Orb will give him enough money to finally ask Sapphire to marry him. So Rex is off to find the Orb and along for the ride is Java,a prehistoric ape/man that works for Simon Stagg. Java double crosses Rex and leaves him to die inside a booby trapped pyramid. But Rex finds the Orb of Ra and is transformed into the chalky white skinned orange and purple clad Metamorpho the Element Man. Using he newly aquired powers,Rex escapes the pyramid and goes to get his revenge on Java and Simon. But outta his love for Sapphire he decides to let bygones by bygones and starts having adventures.The last few issues in this trade are all about the JLA confronting Metamorpho,mainly as a test to see if he is JLA material. Turns out he is,but Rex turns down the offer of membership. So ends Metamorpho Year One. The artwork by both Dan Jurgens and Mike Norton is very appealing. I prefer Mike Norton's art on this title to Dan's,but still both are very capable artists. One last thing about this trade I have to mention is,I got this trade in a kinda blind lot. IE I had no idea what I was getting in,but turns out it was worth way more than I paid. So not only was a surprised by a trade paperback that I was planning on buying,but it is also autographed by Mike Norton. Metamorpho Year One earns a solid A.

Plastic Man comedy adventure show

Plastic Man got his own saturday morning cartoon back in 1979. It lasted a couple of seasons then was syndicated untill the late 80's. Recently the entire series was released on DVD. And since I had fond memories of this show I ended up getting the first disc in from Netflix. The basic premise of the show was Plastic Man worked for the government,and had two sidekicks. The southern belle Penny,who had a major crush on Plas. And the hawaiian comedy relief Hula Hula,who was known for always having bad luck. So every episode Plas would get a message from the Chief and go out in his Plastic Plane,that had VTOL abilities, and fight crime. So far it seems like every show had two Plastic Man adventures in them. The first one is usually about 19 minutes long,and the second one is a little bit shorter. The stories are above average for the era,with lots of jokes that totally flew over my head when I first watched it as a kid. And the animation is the usually Ruby-Spears quaility. On this disc was a special feature that was a basic history of Plastic Man,and it also mentions a Plastic Man Pilot from a few years ago. They show alot of the conceptuial art and it looks great. Sadly this pilot was not picked up. The only main drawback to this dvd is the picture quailty. It seems that they didn't go in an clean it up at all, there is piles of debris and dust on the print,and it does kinda hurt the overall presence of the show. But considering that in all my years of collecting cartoons I have never found more than 5 episodes of this show out on the grey market,I will just have to be happy that this was released. Plastic Man Comedy Adventure show gets a B-.

Showcasing the Essentials 02

Showcase presents House of Secrets Volume 1

Art by Neal Adams,Dick Giordano,Gray Morrow,Alex Toth,Don Heck,Bernie Wrightson,Gil Kane,George Tuska,Micheal Kaluta,Wally Wood,Murphy Anderson,Jim Aparo,Sergio Aragones,Nick Cardy,Jack Sparling and various others

Written by Gerard Conway,Marv Wolfman,Len Wein and various others

This reprints issues 81-98 of the first volume of House of Secrets,which was a long running horror anthology title from DC comics. This title along with House of Mystery was used a lot as a place to try out new artists and writers. An average issue most of the time had four or so short stories of various lengths. Hosted by Abel,of Cain and Abel fame,he is the caretaker of the house of secrets and introduces each story with a short usually funny blurb. One of the things I love about this trade is that it is perfect for a quick pickup and read. I has held the top spot on the back of my toilet for almost a year now. Most of the stories have O Henry twist endings, and thankfully they are not always obvious from the beginning. The three main highlights to this collection for me are the origin of the House of Secrets,Swamp Things first appearance,and one panel gag strips by Sergio Aragones. The origin story is the first story in issue 81,with great moody art by Jerry Grandenetti and written byMike Friedreich. It tells how the House was built by Senator Sandsfield who was a few cards short of a deck and how every piece of material used to build it all came from Kentucky. A man buys the abandoned house for cheap and is trying to move it to Tennessee. But not too far from the Kentucky/Tennessee state line all hell breaks loose. The first appearance of Swamp Thing has stunning Bernie Wrightson artwork and was written by Len Wein. It is the Swamp Thing origin that most comic fans already know but with a few small changes. I have read this issue before in a reprint but find that Wrightson's artwork looks even better in black and white. Abel's Fables is the short gag strips by Sergio Aragones,and are very much like his gag strips you used to find in between the panels of Mad Magazine. Sure with so many stories there will be a few clunkers,and some of them just haven't held up. But over all 80% of the stories are worth reading,and it is a great sampler of many great artist. Some of whom are barely remembered now. Showcase presents House of Secrets gets a B.

TPB winners 01

Fables-Legends in Exile
published by Vertigo/DC comics

The first volume in the currently ongoing monthly series,Legends in Exile sets up a lot of the plot for the first few years of the series. Basic premise is every fairy tale,tall tale,or piece of folklore you have heard is true. And the characters from these tales live in a series of interconnected worlds. Some years ago a great evil referred to as the Adversary starts to take over the various worlds,and most of the characters are captured or killed. Some escape to the real world,The ones that can pass for human live in a Burroughs of NYC called Fabletown. The non-human ones live on a farm in upstate New York. Fabletown has it's own mayor who is Old King Cole,but the town is really ran by Snow White. Who is Cole's second in command. The fables of Fabletown self police themselves and the head of security is Bigby Wolf AKA the big bad wolf of Lil red riding hood fame. The story starts off with Snow White's sister Rose Red being murdered in her apartment. At first the main suspect is Jack,of Jack in the beanstalk,lil Jack Horner,and various other fables with a protagonist named Jack fame. Bigby is in charge of the investigation and over the next couple of issues find many clues. The Fables celebrate each year a holiday that marks when they left their homelands to come to NYC. And at this celebration Bigby reveals who the killer is,and it is a shock. This is the first storyline so it uses much of it time introducing us to the various main stars of the series. We find out that Sleeping Beauty,Cinderella,and Snow White were all married to the same Prince. Who it turns out is an incredible cad and has an ability to seduce pretty much any woman he wants. While truthfully not the best outta what i have read from the series so far,I am currently on the 5th trade, Legend in exile is a good read that has amazing artwork. And as you read the next couple of trades you can see where the author has laid the groundwork for the series. This series is written by Bill Willingham,who before I had read this I only knew from his 80's indy series Elementals. And has great artwork by Mark Buckingham. What I love about Buckingham's artwork is how he draws the females characters. While still gorgeous they don't have the over the top anatomy that most comic females have. They look like real life women,sure the are all very beautiful,but they still look real. My only real gripe about this series so far is the covers don't accurately portray what is happening in the issues. Most of the covers have a slightly surreal style,that kinda clashes with Buckingham's cartoony but realistic artwork. One word of warning this is a Vertigo series which usually means that it isn't for young readers,and this series isn't. With a fair amount of foul language and some graphic violence and some nudity I wouldn't let any kid under about 15 read it. But still Fables is a great series that thanks to Jamie D of WWW.comicgeekspeak.com for recommending. Legends in Exile gets an B+.

TPB losers 01

Batman Hush Volume one

written by Jeph Loeb

art by Jim Lee

Published by DC COMICS

This is the first of 2 tradepaperbacks reprinting the 2002-2003 12 issue storyline. For quite a few years now I have been hearing how this is the best Batman storyline in many years. Some have even compared it to Frank Miller's classic The Dark Knight Returns. I ended up getting both volumes as a gift last X-mas from one of my aunts. The story starts off with Batman rescuing a kidnapped child from Killer Croc. After he saves the kid Catwoman appears and steals the ransom money,Batman prosues her across the Gothem skyline. But somehow the rope he is swinging on is cut and he falls to the ground in the process fracturing his skull. Alfred the butler summons Batman's childhood friend,Thomas Elliot,who is now a well known brain surgeon. After Batman recovers he finds out that Poison Ivy had used Catwoman to steal the money. So he goes looking for Ivy. Him and Catwoman track her down to Metropolis. And discover that Ivy has taken control of Superman's mind. Using a Kryptonite ring,that Superman gave to Batman years ago in the chance that Superman goes evil or beserk,to keep Superman at bay. Catwoman shoves Lois Lane off a skyscaper and seeing his wife in danger snaps Superman outta the mind control. And he teams up with Batman and Catwoman to capture Ivy. Some days later Batman and Catwoman in their civilian indenties are attending an opera,when Harley Quinn shows up and in the fight someone kills Dr Thomas Elliot. It appears that Joker is the one that killed Dr Elliot,so Batman goes after him. Thanks to Jim Gordon and Dick Grayson,Batman doesn't kill Joker even though he seems to want too. This is also when we get the first appearance of a man with his face covered in bandages,He is referred to as Hush. And the story goes on from there. It is a basic who's who of all the main Bat villians. And after all the running around it turns out that Hush is really,Spoiler skip if you don't wanna know, Dr Thomas Elliot. The best part of the entire 12 issue run is a small part were at the end of one issue you are lead to believe that Hush is really Jason Todd,the second Robin who was killed by the Joker many years ago. While the artwork by Jim Lee is some of the best work he has done in many years ,the story fell flat to me. It felt like an idea I would have come up with while bored in 7th grade study hall. But then even though Jeph Loeb used to get all kinds of praise for his comic work ,the things I have read from him haven't impressed me that much. While reading both trades I was reminded of the first issues of the "Many Deaths of Batman" storyline from the early 90s. This was an issue where besides one word it had no other dialogue at all. I get the feeling that if Hush had no dialogue I might enjoy it more. Batman Hush Vols 1 and 2 get a C-. But the artwork by itself gets an A-.

Showcasing the Essentials 01

Essential Killraven

published by Marvel comics

Killraven is a mostly forgotten 70's sci fi series. First appearing in Amazing Adventures 18,May 1973. Killraven works on the premise that the War of the worlds actually happened,and the Martians come back in 2001 and take over the world. Jon Killraven is a child that is raised by the Martians to be a gladiator in the arenas. The storyline starts in 2018 when Killraven escapes from the slavepins and with a rag-tag band of humans fights back against the Martian overlords. This storyline runs from issue 18 of Amazing Adventures to issue 39,and covers 2 years in the story of the series. Killraven was created by Neal Adams and Roy Thomas,but sadly Adams only did the first 11 pages of the first issue. The rest of that issue was done by Howard Chaykin. By issue 21 Don McGregor takes over the writing duties and last till the final issue. The art chores passes from Herb Trimpe to Rich Buckler to Gene Colon. But finally at issue 27 P. Craig Russell takes over the art and besides a few fill in issues stays on till issue 39. One thing that Killraven is remembered for most now is the first interacial kisses in color comics. One thing I love about the series is how even though it is perfect for a child to read,it has multiple levels so that adults will enjoy it. Killraven mainly appears in Amazing Adventures,besides a one time appearance in Marvel team up. In that story he teams up with Spider-man who is traveling thru time. Sadly Killraven's run in Amazing Adventures was cut short. So in the early 80's McGregor is allowed to wrap up most of the main storyline in one of the first few Marvel Graphic Novels. This Graphic Novel has some of the best P. Craig Russell art I have ever seen. After the publication of this GN Killraven disappeared and didn't show back up till a Marvel Knights 2001 One-shot,that is written and drawn by Joe Linsner. While this one-shot has the best art ever for a Killraven story some plot point contradict stuff from the original run. I first encountered Killraven by his entry in the Deluxe Official handbook to the Marvel Universe. And never got to read any of the story until I bought the Essential TPB last year. So to wrap it up,If you are a fan of Sci-fi,space opera,or fantasy check out Essential Killraven. I give it a A.

Movies to avoid 1

The worst movies ever

Passport video

I knew something was fishy when this documentary of the 50 worst movies ever made had a run time of 1 hour. And damn I was right. Alot of the time they spend at most 30 seconds on a movie. And usually they barely tell why this film is one of the worst ever. Another big gripe is they inculde Jack Hill's Spiderbaby on the list. This late 60s horror movie,starring Lon Chaney Jr and Sid Haig,is one of the unsung classics of the horror genre. I had seen this dvd on the shelves many times and almost have bought it. Thankfully Netflix had it and it wasn't even worth a Netflix rental. Avoid at all cost.

A sidenote I think I have come down with the flu. So I doubt I will be updating much the next week or so.

Why isn't this better known 01

The Tick Luny Bin Trilogy issues 0-3

story and art by Eli Stone

This is the second storyline in the Tick series by Eli Stone. The Tick is hypnotized and returns to the Evensville clinic. Which is a mental hospital he escaped from in the first issue of the Ben englund Tick run. When he gets there the evil doctor that worked with the Tick during his first stay there tries his best to convince Tick that he is a normal person and should give up his superhero gig. While this is happening Arthur goes and recruits M.O.A.V,the mystic order of arachnid vigilante, to help him bust the Tick out. The membership of M.O.A.V. is made up of the other patients of Evensville that escaped at the same time Tick did. Since Tick is in the hospital Barry,the former Tick, decides to work a deal out with a group of super villains. They are lead by Chairface Chippendale. And the deal is Barry will bust them while they are committing crimes,but he will let them go instead of turning them over to the police. Well since Barry is a little bit insane he ends up just beating the shit outta the various villains. So a small group lead by Chairface goes to bust The Tick outta Evensville. This all comes together in the third issue,where two groups,one made up of Arthur and the MOAV and the other a group of villains with Chairface show up. The evil doctor tries his best to remove Tick's mask but no matter what it won't come off. This causes the doctor to proclaim "The mask is the Tick and the Tick is the mask." An explosion happens and most of the villains are captured. Arthur,the Tick and MOAV escape unharmed. But the evil doctor is badly injured and before he dies he reveals a secret about the Tick to Arthur. Sadly this isn't revealed to us the readers. When I first read this was already a huge tick fan cause of the Foxkids cartoon, I had heard of the NEC comic,and even owned a couple of issues. But had never read any of them. Thanks to the great owner of Lynns Comics in Nederland Texas, I started reading this series. He gave all 4 issues to me and told me go read them if you don't like them you can keep them for free,if you do like them give me 12 bucks for all 4. Needless to say I loved them,and over a course of about 2 years managed to acquire most of the previous Tick comics,and bought every new Tick series that came out. The storyline was really good,lots of oddball humor with a touch of seriousness that was the trademark for the original Ben Edlund Tick run. The artwork was also good,sure it's black and white,but the shading gave it a depth that most current color comics don't seem to have. The Tick Luny Bin Trilogy earns a B+.

I love the cheap bins 02

Americomics #3

Published by AC comics

1983

The second and final appearance of one of the Charlton Action Heroes from AC comics. This issue contains 2 stories. The first one "Return from Pago Island" story/inks by Rik Levins edits/inks by Bill Black stars the Ted Kord Blue Beetle. While he is taking down a warehouse full of criminals,Ted is surprised by the original Beetle Dan Garrett busting through the wall. It seems that Dan is mad at Ted for abandoning him at Pago Island,and is back for revenge. After a fairly lengthily fight it turns out that the Dan Beetle is a robot that Ted's crazy uncle created. Ted manages to take it down and the story ends. The second story "The Blue Beetle to live again" Written by Leo J Laney and Neal Stannard,with art by Leo J Laney and Bill Black. Two very Kirbyish looking gods bring the 1940's Dan Garrett Beetle back to life. Some gangsters have kidnapped Ted Kord and Dan goes to save him. Using the powers granted to him by vitamin X,Dan manages to take out all the gangster fairly quick.At the end him and Ted shake hands and plan on teaming up again. This issue unlike the Sentinels of justice one isn't that great,the first story has good art and an ok story,but is nothing special. The second story has art that is a weird mix of Kirby and Ditko. The story is fairly cliched and not that good. Americomics #3 earns a 5.5. And that is mainly for the front and back covers.

Sweet zombie Jesus

WOW!!!!

I have been looking for this softcover for a few years now. I have seen it for sale on Ebay,but refused to pay what most people wanted for it. Well all the waiting finally paided off. I am currently on vacation on the Mississippi gulf coast. And there is a great comic shop in this area that I try to visit everytime I am down here. Well I was looking at the Tradepaper backs and hardcovers and found Kimota sitting on the shelf.I was figuring it would be priced at at least $30. But it had no price anywhere on it,well besides the original price. And since I know that it is not only out of print,but in high demand I figured it would be priced way over what I want to pay. Well I pick it up and go to dig through the $1 bins. The owner of the shop walks by and ask me if I had read much Miracleman. I told him I had read it all and only needs this book and issue 24 to complete my collection. Turns out he has a few copies of 24 and goes to the back to pull one out. He brings it to me and it looks near mint. So I gather up 24 and kimota and head to the register. Figuring I am looking at at least $80. He tells me Kimota is $10 and 24 is $25. I tell him I'm more than glad to give him 40 or 45 for both,but he refuses. So I paid for both and then went back to the dollar bins and bought about 20 comics. Kimota is a guide to one of the most under rated comics of the 80s/90s. Written by Alan Moore and later on Neil Gaimen,Miracleman was one of the earliest deconstrution of the superhero genres. This guide has interviews with almost everyone that was ever involved with the series. And shitpiles of unreleased artwork. I'm only about half way thru it and already have learned so much about the history of the comic. I urge anyone who has read Miracleman to seek out and buy this book. Kimota earns a sold 9.5. If it had more color artwork it would get a perfect 10.

I love the cheap bins 01

Americomics Special #1

Sentinels of Justice

published by AC Comics in 1983

Written by Dan Saint John

Art by Greg Guler

Backgrounds by Matt Feazell

This is one of two issues published by AC comics in the early 80's that features the old Charlton Action Heros. In this issue Blue Beetle,Ted Kord,Captain Atom,Nightshade and The Question are the super team Sentinels of Justice. They are called together to meet up with the police commissoner. He tells them about a rash of robberies that all involve alternate forms of energy. So he sends the four masked heroes to protect a new solar battery. Turns out a villian ,The Manipulator,is the mastermind behind these robberies. He has assembled a team consisding of Iron Arms,Fiery-Icer and "the lunatic terrorist group" The Madmen. The next day at Whittier Hall the battery is being shown to the public,Captain Atom and Nightshade are inside in their civilian identities. And Beetle and Question are outside keeping watch. Beetle spots a hovercar,and radios Question and they both head into the hall. An 8 page battle happens with the heroes taking out every villian but the Manipulator. But seems Manipulator has an ace up his sleeve. He presses a button on the cuff of his jacket and The Banshee flys in through a window grabs the Manipulator and flies off. The four heroes try to follow him,but it turns out that Iron Arms isnt as defeated as they thought he was. So they work together to take him out. On the final page we see Manipulator bragging about he has a spy inside the Sentinels of Justice team,and we see a shadowy figure who it turns out is the real lead villain. Sadly we will never find out who this shadowy man is. Since right after this book was finished the Charlton Action Heroes were sold to DC. This was a fun comic. It was the basic first story of a superteam that any comic fan has read many times,but you can see where it has plenty of pontential. The artwork while not the best is still nice and clean. I would have loved to see what AC had planned for futher issues of this title,but that never happened. But since I found this for $1,it is more than worth what I paid. If you are a fan of either the Charlton run of these four heroes,or the later DC run it is worth finding a copy. One thing I liked about it was it was printed on slick paper,but it wasn't the super shiny paper that is used a lot today. Americomics Special #1 gets a 7 outta 10.

31 days of horror Day 31

The Return of the living dead

Source- MGM original DVD release

Besides Texas chainsaw massacre this is my favorite horror film of all time. I was lucky that my uncle took me to see it when it first came out. It has just right blend of horror and comedy. Freddy is on his night at a new job. He works at a medical supply warehouse. His co-worker goes to show him something in the basement. It is a corpse in some kind of military drum. One of them hits it with a wrench and a yellow gas starts leaking out. They both pass out. Across the street in the cemetery,Freddy's girlfriend and 5 of his friends are hanging out waiting on him to get off work. Freddy and his co-worker wake up to discover all the dead bodies in the warehouse have become reanimated. They end up cutting one up with a saw and stuffing it into a trash bag. They haul it across the street to a morgue that also has a crematorium. The mortician is a friend and agrees to burn up the reanimated parts. Well the smoke produced by burning the parts gets up in the clouds and causes it to rain. Then all hell breaks loss all the corpses in the graveyard come back to life and you end up with Freddy,the mortician,the co-worker and most of his friends barricading themselves into the morgue. One by one they die then it becomes apparent that from the exposure to the yellow smoke earlier Freddy and his co-worker are also becoming zombies. The cast in this film is just amazing,from a young Linnea Quigley and Jewel Sheppard to Clu Gulager James Karen Don Calfa,the cast does great work. The effects are very very good for what is a small budgeted mid 80's film. And the soundtrack is amazing,sadly some of it is changed on both DVD releases. But the VHS release is the original soundtrack and it isn't too hard to find now. This is a film that I end up watching at least 8 or so times a year,and usually at least once on Halloween. Return of the living dead gets an A+.

31 days of horror Day 30

Jack Ketchum's The lost

Source- Anchor bay DVD

Ray Pye is a disturbed young man. To make up for being short he puts crushed beer cans in his boots. Him and a couple of friends are out in the woods getting drunk when Ray runs into what he thinks is a couple of lesbians. Ray takes a rifle and kills both girls. Fast forward a couple of years later. Ray live in a room at the motel his mom manages. He is always having wild parties and seems to manage to get any girl he wants. But the new maid his mom has just hired turns him down,and this pisses Ray off. He ends up dating a new girl in town,and everything is going great then one night trying to impress the girl he tells her about shooting and killing the 2 girls many years ago. She of course now wants nothing to do with Ray. This starts his flash trip to insanity. Ray ends up kidnapping the two aforementioned girls,plus another he has been seeing off and on for years. He takes them to a house he thinks is abandoned. Discovering a couple there who are packing up stuff,Ray freaks out and starts to slaughter everyone there. Based partially on true stories this film based on a great Jack Ketchum novels while not 100 percent horror has a level of intensity that very few current films can match. The final 10 minutes will rattle most people's nerves. Over the acting was good or in some cases almost perfect. While not a feel good movie,it is one that will make you think. Jack Ketchum's The Lost gets an A.

31 days of horror Day 29

Return to Horror high/Return of the killer tomatoes

Source- Anchor Bay double feature DVD

Two 80's horror comedies that both have George Clooney in them. Up first Return to Horror high. A film crew is filming in a high school where a few years back a series of bloody murders happened. Clooney plays a minor role,and he is the first one killed. This is your average slasher,but the touches of humor help raise it above crap like Prom Night,Happy Birthday to me,and Graduation Day. You get a nice cameo by Maureen McCormick as a cop that gets turned on by gore. Nice amounts of jump scares and gore. And the ending is something most people will never guess. Now Return of the Killer Tomatoes is more comedy than horror,but it has IMHO the best acting from Clooney. In this film you have Doctor Gangreen taking the killer tomatoes and turning them into humans with a process that involves music. One of these human/tomatoes runs away and falls in love with Clooney's roommate. Lots of sight gags,and cameos from cast from the first film. The product placement gag is one of the best I have ever seen. Return to Horror High earns a B-,and Return of the killer Tomatoes earns a B+.

Wondering why I did two films today? Mainly cause tomorrow I will be heading out on vacation and might not be able to do that days post to really late.

31 days of horror Day 28

Who can kill a child

Source- Dark Skys DVD

OK first off this was recommended to me by a friend who's opinion i trust. Well this time he steered me wrong. A British couple is on vacation in Spain. And the husband wants to go back to an island he visited many years back. They take a small boat there. When they get their the only people they see are all children. Turns out something has happened to the children on this island and they are killing off all the adults. The couple ends up being chased by the kids and finally they lock themselves in a jail cell in the local jail. A young kid,looks to be like 8 climbs up into the windowsill and tries to shoot them. The husband kills the kid and the wife freaks out. She is pregnant and not too much longer the fetus starts eating her from the inside out.This was the best scene in this almost 2 hour long film. The next morning the husband leaves the jail and heads to the dock to take the boat back to the mainland. On his way there he runs into the kids,and he guns down about 9 of them. Like an idiot he drops his gun and starts running to the dock. Of course the kids take up the chase. He makes it to the boat and the kids are right behind him. He starts fighting them off with an oar. As the kids are attacking him a police boat pulls up and sees him attacking the kids. The police officer shots him,and he falls dead into the water. The police go onto the docks,and the kids tell them the adults are right around the corner in the city. As the cops walk off the kids grab the officers guns off the cop boat and kill the cops. The movie ends with a group of the kids taking a boat to the mainland. Lots of things wrong with this movie. First off it has about 45 minutes worth of story but it runs almost 2 hours long. Besides one quick scene at the 30 minutes mark nothing much happens until the 1 1/2 hour mark. Both of the lead actors were pretty bad. The gore effects,what little their was ,were OK but nothing special. Who can kill a child earns a D-.

31 days of horror Day 27

Maniac

Source- Oop Anchor Bay DVD

Made in 1980,Maniac stars Joe Spinell and Caroline Munro. Joe stars as Frank Zito,who is a very very disturbed man. He was mentally and physically abused by his mother at a young age. And still suffers from that ordeal. When the horrors of this abuse becomes to much for him he prowls the seedy streets of early 80's NYC in search of women to kill. Frank ends up meeting a beautiful photographer who is played by Caroline Munro. Even when with him sorta dating this woman he still feels the need to go out and kill.This is a film that is mainly remembered now for the amazing Tom Savini effects. The shotgun to the head and the scalping scenes are still terrifying today. Spinell is a great actor that sadly died too young. Caroline is her usually adequate self,not a great actress but not horrible either. The main big problems with this movie is no-one will believe that someone as stunningly beautiful as Caroline dating Joe,and the ending. Up until the final 15 minutes the movie is great,but the ending where it seems the victims of Joe's previous killings come back to get him just doesn't work. The effects are good,but the scene doesn't fit in with the rest of the movie. Mainly cause the rest of the film is so grounded in reality. But overall this is a film anyone calling themselves a horror fan needs to see at least once. Maniac earns a A-.

31 days of horror Day 26

Joshikyôei hanrangun aka Attack girl's swim team vs the undead

Source-Museum DVD

Wow this was bad,but weirdly entertaining. Their is a new girl in school,her name is Aki. She is talked into joining the girls swim team. At the same time everybody at the school is being vaccinated for a new virus that is going around. Somehow this vaccination ends up turning everyone that gets it into a kinda zombie,well everyone but the girls swim team. The major weirdness starts when the math teacher freaks out and starts lobbing off various students limbs with rulers. Very bloody scene but the hacked off limbs look pretty bad. Aki and the rest of the swim team figure out that they are immune cause of the chemicals in the swimming pool. So they gather buckets of water from the pool and start throwing it onto the zombified students. It works and changes the students back to humans. They throw some of this water onto the English teacher,but she stays a zombie and attacks them. The swim team manages to outwit her and wraps her up in a chain. Then we find out that Aki is an orphan who was kidnapped at a young age and trained to be a water assassin. The guy who trained her shows up and they have a huge fight in the schools boiler room. While this is happening the rest of the swim teams arms themselves with weapons and goes to take out the zombies that are left. Turns out the English teacher got loose of the chains and she manages to kill all but one of the swim team. Aki finally kills her old mentor and runs into the remaining swim team member outside the school. This girl uses a nerve agent on Aki ,and while Aki is laying on the ground unable to move the remaining swim team girl is killed by Aki's old mentor. Turns out the mentor had a twin. Seeing that Aki is paralyzed the mentor attempts to rape her,but Aki is prepared. Seems she has hidden some kind of laser firing device in her well her vagina. She shoots a laser and the twin blows up. This covers Aki in blood. So she goes to the pool to clean off and have a swim.In the middle of swimming she up and dies. Then it is flashed on the screen that the nerve agent used on her causes heart attacks if you do any kind of exercise within 8 hours of being exposed to it. Like I said earlier this was bad,but still entertaining. Sure it isn't something I would have bought but since I got it from Netflix it was worth it. The acting was not so hot,the special effect were piss poor. the only real standouts was just the plain weirdness of the story and the cuteness of the actress that played Aki. Attack girl's swim team vs the undead gets a C-.

31 days of horror Day 25

Flight of the Living Dead Outbreak on a plane

Source- New Line DVD

On a plane trip from Los Angeles to Paris,a zombie outbreak happens. This is cause by a mutated strain of malaria. Once the virus is released no country will allow the plane to land. The UN ends up sending fighter jets to shoot down the plane. So 5 survivors must make their way to the cockpit and signal the fighter pilot that there is still people alive on the plane. By the time they make it to the cockpit one of them has been bitten by a zombie. The haggard group finally makes it to the cockpit and is getting ready to signal the fighter jet,when the jet launches a missile. They do manage to signal the fighter jet,but even with the jet pilot detonating the missile it is still to late. The missile explodes close to the plane and blows a hole in the side,this sucks out most of the zombies. They finally crash land the plane near Los Vegas. They think the zombie threat is over,but it is revealed to the audience that 4 zombies are still around. This film is an obvious clone of Snakes on a plane,but with zombies replacing the snakes. And while Snakes on a Plane had a pretty big budget this film didn't . And this film is the better of the two. Sure it's predictable. But it is fun. The cast is uniformly good,and the special effects are really well done. The zombies will piss off the fans that don't like fast moving zombies. Which is something I can't understand,most horror or zombie fans will agree that Return of the Living Dead is a great film. And that is the first film I am aware of that had running zombies. But back to Flight of the living dead,Good film perfect for a rental or even buying if you find it cheap. The DVD has 2 different commentaries,one by the director and producer. And the other is by the editors of IGN.com. To sum it up good fun little film,that has some comedy to help it out. Flight of the Living Dead gets a C+

31 days of horror Day 24

Rats Night of Terror

Source- OOP Anchor Bay DVD

After a nuclear disaster a band of survivors find an abandoned town. The discover that this town has huge supplies of food,so they decide to stay. Little do they know that this town also has a major rodent problem. The rats of this quiet town are many and bloodthirsty. One by one the survivors are killed by the rats in many graphic and bloody ways. Until there is only 2 people left. Then they get "saved" by the people that live underground. But are the underground dwellers still human? Made by Bruno Mattei in 1985,Rats is a very weird twist on the typical Italian Mad Max ripoff. Italian directors made lots and lots of post-nuke movies after the success of Mad Max,but this one has the twist of the killer rats. It is rumored that painted guinea pigs were used in place of the rats,but to my eyes it looks like real rats. The actors and actresses are what you will normally find in an mid 80's Italian ripoff movie,Not bad but not anything to write home about. Most of the gore effects are pretty good,and are a main reason the film is entertaining. Nowadays this film if remembered is remembered for the twist ending. Which really doesn't hold up if you think about it too much. But if you are looking for some to pass some time and something that you can just shut your brain off and watch you could do a lot worse than this. Rats nights of terror earns a B-.

31 days of horror Day 23

The Hills have Eyes-Unrated Remake

Source- 20th century fox DVD

A family of 7 are traveling though Yuma Flats heading to California. They stop at a gas station for fuel,and the gas station attendant tells them about a short cut. Turns out this is a set up,on the shortcut they end up driving over something that pops their tires. They crash into a rock. The dad and the oldest sister's husband head out to look for help. And as night falls all hell breaks loose. 2 mutated men attack the camper,while another ties the father to a Joshua tree and sets it on fire. After a gruesome battle,the oldest sister,the mom,and the father are all dead. And the oldest sister's baby has been kidnapped. The husband heads out to get his baby back,while the brother and younger sister stay behind. The two siblings booby trap the area around the trunk and camp and wait. The husband comes upon a town that was built when the government was testing nuclear bombs in this area. He sneaks into a house a finds his child there,but on his way out he is attacked by one of the mutants. He comes too and is inside a freezer that is full of various body parts. Turns out these mutants are the descendants of the miners that refused to leave the area when the nuclear testing was happening. The husband ends up killing most of the mutants and sees a younger female one running off into the hills with his child. He follows and has to fight off the leader of the mutants,the fight is long and bloody,but at the end he knocks him down and think he has killed the mutant. The young female mutant hands over the baby,and sees that the leader is about to attack the husband again,she ends up tackling the leader and they both fall over a cliff. Finally victorious the husband,with his baby in tow,head back to meet up with the other two. They hug and all that kind of happy shit. Then the camera pulls out and we realize someone in the hills is still watching them. The end. This wasn't a bad remake,it took parts of the Wes Craven original. But changed enough to not end up being a total rehash. The special effects were really good The makeup on the various mutants was a highlight for me. It is worth seeing,either by buying it for cheap or a rental. The Hills have eyes remake gets a C+ from me.

31 days of horror Day 22

House on Haunted Hill-William Castle Original

Source-Rifftrax DVD release

Ah a movie I loved when I was a kid. Vincent Price and his wife decide to throw a exclusive party at a supposedly haunted house. They invite 5 people,a airline pilot,a doctor,a drunk tabloid reporter,a Secretary,and a guy who's family owns the house. The all arrived in black cars and go to the living room to meet up with Price.Vincent shows them around the house,and they get to see the acid pit in the basement. Turns out 5 people have already died in this house. The deal is at midnight the doors will be lock from the outside and each person to spend the entire night in the house gets 10 thousand dollars. All kinds of cheesy spooky events happen,IE crazy old blind lady that seems to roller skate over the floors,Vincent's wife hanging her self then showing back up outside someones window,etc. In the end it turns out the doctor and Ms Price are working together to kill off Vincent. But he manages to outwit them. First time I saw this was many many years ago,a local UHF channel would show at least one horror movie every Saturday night. Even as a young kid this movie didn't scare me but it sure did entertain me. And it still does. House on Haunted Hill is a great horror classic to watch with young kids,and earns an C+.

31 days of horror Day 21

Motel Hell

Source-OOP MGM Midnite movie DVD

Farmer Vincent is well known for his smoked meats. But most people don't know what is in his smoked treats. Vincent and his sister run a motel,The Motel Hello. But the O in hello is usually burnt out so it says Motel Hell. Early on we see Vincent setting a trap on a road. It causes a wreck were the man is killed and his girlfriend is injured. Vincent takes the girl,Terry,back home to the motel. She slowly falls in love with Vincent. Late on night we see the farmer going to a fenced off place on the back side of his property. Inside is his secret garden,where he buries people up to their necks and force feeds them. When they get to the size that he wants,he uses a tractor to pop off their heads. Then he grinds them up into his smoked meat treats. For a movie with such a grim premise it actually is very funny. Vincent's sister is played by the heavyset female coach from Porkys. She helps him out with his meat business. The ending is a nice set piece of two guys fighting with chainsaws while one of them is wearing a giant pig mask. Good film,would be perfect to see at a drive in. Solid B.